The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship. The author shares that when they were first asked to sponsor someone, they were not sure they had anything to give. But then, they remembered that sponsoring isn't about saving anyone else, it is about being a helper, showing through actions and words how working the AlAnon program might lead to recovery. Sponsorship, the author shares, is as much about the sponsor's growth as the sponcees' growth.
Today's reminder (summarized): Being a Sponsor is as much a commitment to myself as it is to someone else.
Today's Quote: "Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Upon first reading, today's topic seems to be more focused toward Al-Anon members who have been in the program a while and are considering sponsorship for the first time, but for me, there are pieces that speak to other members as well. I've been in the program a while, and recently decided to sponsor 2 members who have been in the program off and on for a while, but hadn't had a sponsor. For me, the piece that stands out about my current situation is the line: "I know my HP brings people into my life who can help me to grow." as well as "Being a Sponsor is as much a commitment to myself as it is to someone else." The first time I sponsored someone, I noticed that that sponsorship relationship helped to keep me accountable for practicing my Al-Anon program tools each and every day, and I became better as using those tools through the experience. Sponsorship offers me the opportunity to continue to grow, and to connect with others on their journies.
I remember early in the program, the first time I encountered this reading, I wasn't sure if it could bring anything to my day, until I read the final line: "Give what you have." - Early on in my program, I didn't feel that I had much to give, but showing up at meetings was a valuable contribution that I could and did make to the group. Knowing what I do now about sponsorship, asking someone else to sponsor me is also a valuable gift of recovery for the sponsor.
A bit rainy here again today, but my flower garden is especially happy about all the rain! I hope you make today a great day.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi love this topic I too doubted that i could be a sponsor until, I agreed to do so with the provision that it would be on a temporary basis at first.( The potential sponsee was so insistent and even cried wen i hesitated). I am so glad that i agreed to try because i do believe that I benefited the most from being a sponsor. I learned how to listen, with an open mind and not jump in to give advise,(one of my defect). I also grew because i reinforced program tools each time we talked.
Love the quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow -- it is so true .
I have not sponsored anyone yet, but being a sponsee is one of my best decisions. I was opposed to F2F meetings, and having a sponsor, because I thought I could accomplish fixing my A and then I would be fixed too. But as time went on, and reading on the board, it didn't take me long to do both. The relationship of having a sponsor is a vital part of my recovery. I am ever so grateful to have the wisdom and knowledge of someone who understands. Thanks everyone, Lyne
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily.....thank you Betty & Lyne for your shares and ESH. I've been on both sides of the equation, and feel blessed by all experiences...I love what you pointed out skorpi - people come into my life for a reason and I try to stay open to continued awareness, growth and recovery. Sponsorship helps greatly with that - as a sponsor and as one sponsored.
I can say that I still wonder when asked if I have 'something' to give back to others. I pray about it and then proceed accordingly. I will suggest that when I have sponsored some who are just not yet ready to surrender, it makes it very challenging. Yet, I still learn as that was me for so very, very long. I wanted everything better but was so resisting to changing me would facilitate a changed outlook, attitude and home. I was 'wrong' completely in my denial.
It's a hot one here and I have golf this evening. I am exhausted as I played 34 holes of golf yesterday, and then my friend had to return to the hospital during the night. Certainly a SNAP evening - Significantly Not As Planned - so am leaning into HP, hydrating and praying for patience to be of maximum service. I must admit that there is a part of me that wants to punch a doctor/two today so am being reminded that reacting is not the right answer. I do know I am beyond HALT - not a good state for my sanity! Make it a great day all - thank you all for the gift of MIP, where I can find any tool I need to for whatever is troubling me at the time.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I belong to another 12 step group, as well. Once, a newcomer asked me to be his sponsor... ...it was just a hunch- but i said- it might be better to do some group time first- and then we will see how things go.
So things are going hummingly... I always believed that steps one thru three were best done within the group.
with another person the response may have been completely different... it is always -one day at a time- and one person at a time... one size does not fit all. ...
Yea, I had the "sponsor tremors" when first asked, then I realized that #1, I am not their HP (made that clear from the get go) #2, if THEY think I am worthy to guide, assist them, then I must be and #3, there is always the mutual option to end the relationship....I havn't sponsored anyone long term for a while now, but I "spot sponsor" here and there and it feels great to help another help themselves....
Thanks Skorpi, and y'all...
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