The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for June 19 speaks about Working Step 4 . The reading suggests that this Step is a long-term undertaking because as long as we remain blind to the flaws that create so much chaos for us,we must continue to search out these defects by doing an inventory day after day trying to face ourselves as we are and correct whatever is keeping us from growing into the person we want to be.
As we review each day and think of the consequences of what we have said and done it is suggested that we admit these shortcomings to ourselves and another person.
The reading suggests it is a difficult task to face ourselves so that we must guard against self-justification and self-righteousness. Step Four requires humility and honesty as it is very easy excuses for our behavior. the quote is indeed powerful: "to overcome my faults, I must first know what they are , and I must admit to them and by the patient self correction diminish them even if I cannot set myself only free.
Step four and five are indeed powerful recovery tool, and once I realized that the defects that I believe protecting me were only hurting my interactions with others and myself and my friends. I became entirely ready to release them and learn a different way. Have a great day
I continue to see my defects of character and faults. Some huge, some not so huge. I see them more when working on my 8th step. The burden of having all of them to see the first time I did my 4th step was heavy. It was such a relief to move on to step 5. Those things that nag and weigh me down today, I now can release them and deal with them over time. I'm so grateful this is a program of progress and not perfection! I see where perfectionism also invaded and ripped through my life and the lives of others. One of the most powerful tools I was given by a wonderful sponsor was to list my assets! It kept me from drowning in the self hatred, guilt and shame. I began to see things as they are and not how I perceived them. Still learning ODAT. Thank you for your service Betty!!
Thanks Betty and Tude. I can see myself as a work in progress. I have steps ahead and steps falling back. That's why I need to stick with program. Faulty thinking and flaws of a lifetime do not just go away. They can creep back it I don't stay vigilant . And that's just what I aim to do, ODAT, Lyne
I am really diggin' everyone's shares today!
Now that I am through with school, I am delving back into my Step 4. This was the reminder I needed to get back at it!
Make it a great day, no matter where you are!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you, Betty, for this message and everyone for sharing. When I first heard about the steps, I did not like the idea of defects or of admitting them to someone. But thankfully, I was so desperate when I came into the program, that I was willing to do anything -- even admit that I might have defects of character -- if it would get me out of the hole I was in. I love how the program is actually gentle, by having us list assets as well as defects, and then later encouraging us to use our insights to carry the message to others. That has been one of the rewards for me.
Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thanks to all above me for your shares & ESH. I am grateful that we are expected to only focus on progress and the steps are there for us to use any day, any time we need/want to....Working the steps allowed me to forgive myself and others, focus on what's truly important and freedom to live a life with simple pleasures and joys.
I am one who believes that more is revealed when we are ready to deal/heal. There are times when things pop into the front of my brain that I've tucked away or blocked out, and today, I have a higher power who loves me and reveals things to me as I am ready. There are things that weren't on any inventory for a long while - not by choice just based on recall/recollection.
Grateful you are all a part of my journey and we all are moving forward one day at a time. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
