The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Working on Step 4, the writer was frustrated about being asked to recognize their own positive qualities. Positive qualities had not made their life unmanageable, so why bother with them? A sponsor helped the writer see that refusing to look at positive qualities is damaging to self-esteem; it allows us to keep seeing ourselves as pitiful and hopeless. The writer came to understand that our assets are the foundation on which our new, healthier life is being built.
Quote: "All progress must grow from a seed of self-appreciation." - The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
I found this page very powerful. I realized when working my Step 4 that in the past I did not have self-esteem. I thought it was wrong to state positive things about myself, and that while I had some skills and talents, deep down I believed I wasn't really valuable as a person.
I love the idea of assets as the foundation to build a healthier life. It is not optional, it is essential to recognize our assets and strengthen them. I now see that admitting my assets is part of being a responsible person. Al-Anon has helped me with self-appreciation.
Great reminder Freetime Step 4 was difficult for me to embrace. however .the suggestion that list my assets as well as my negative defects was extremely important because the idea that they would be the building blocks of my future really helped . This really inspired me to move forward and. I am so pleased that i did.
I am off to the beach and thanks for your service.
I too, liked this thought, b/c deep, deep down, I always thought that I just wasn't good enough. Good enough for who, I don't know. Perhaps me? Many times I can project confidence pretty well - you know, the ol' "fake it till you make it" thing - but there was always the negative Nellie voice in me!
Listing my assets also made me very aware that one of those assets had become unhealthy, and I needed to be vigilant of that.
Enjoy your beach day, Betty... I so wish I could be there with you... a beach day sounds so lovely!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily! Thank you all above me for your shares and ESH. I too wasn't convinced that looking at assets was helpful as they were not what caused my insanity. Yet, wanting or needing to heal/deal as well as be less crazy, I was determined to do recovery as suggested, to the best of my ability. So - I did it begrudgingly!
I have found that many of my defects are actually assets that I exploited - because of FOO, Life, this disease, other. I am now, and will continue to be a work in progress, yet I do know that working these steps and living this program has freed me from the bondage of this disease and 'self'.
Enjoy the beach Betty - it's really hot again today and I am taking it super easy....my back is acting up again and am trying to find a sub for softball tonight. My body is speaking to me!! (((Hugs))) to all.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
