The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Envy: The writer discusses how we can feel resentful of people that have less troubled lives. But he discovered that he was special and actually had everything he needed. He learned to trust that HP knew what was good for him. He goes on to say that envy is a waste of time, and resentment puts wedges between humans. He also came to understand that he is not a victim, and that envy is a hostile form of self-pity. So he tries to appreciate what he has, instead of dwelling on what he lacks. Then he can be happy for another person's abundance.
Today's Reminder: Another person's bounty reminds me that wonderful things can happen at any time to anybody. I will appreciate the many gifts I have been given.
Quote from Horace: Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with a grateful hand.
There was a time in my life when I was struggling with many deficits. Some were emotional and others were basic needs. I had two friends who were very well off and although I loved them, I did have resentment and self-pity.
Alanon teaches me to appreciate all the blessings in my life, from seeing a flower to this amazing program. No I don't have everything I want, and things are far from perfect, but I can see the gifts I have and I am able to appreciate them, Lyne
Hello Lyne, Great topic I did bot think that "Envy" was one of my numerous defects until I took the time to focus on my inner thoughts, examine my motives and break down my denia.Instead I began embracing gratitude and removed comparing . Thanks for your service.
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 17th of June 2018 10:25:17 PM
Good morning MIP and happy Monday! Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you both for your shares and ESH. Envy and self-pity were just a couple of unhealthy views/patterns I had when I found my way to Al-Anon. I spent countless hours comparing how I felt inside to what others showed me outside and felt cheated. An attitude of gratitude and practicing recovery as best I can has helped me realize exactly what this daily suggests - I truly have all I need! It is when I confuse my wants with my needs that my 'stinking thinking' can return and I can start the negative thoughts which starts that merry-go-round all over again.
I am grateful we are asked to live one day only at a time and to take action that works for us, just for today. Recovery has given me a different way to see, be and do life and I am really grateful. Hope today is awesome for all - hot today here ... gotta hydrate! Golfing today + dinner with program friends - make it a great one!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for the shares! Wow, yes, that one was a bad one!!! The comparing and thinking everyone else had it all together and I didn't in so many areas. I have learned over the years that appearances are just that. Appearances. Its sort of kindred to people taking sides in a divorce or ugly dispute in a marriage. If you dont live there, you have no idea what is really going on. Funny how things can be so distorted! And like being a codependent that's never been in the program.......I've taken my share of hits from standing my ground with the A's....maybe it's human nature to be judge and jury but these days I'll leave that one to God. That envy junk was horrific........much came from shame of my living conditions and so forth.....which wasn't good to say the least but......later I learned that what was also going on inside the "nice homes" wasn't anything I wanted either. I'm grateful for today and for this program!!
Have a great day!
Great read and reminder. As a kid I wished to be a part of a "normal" family, anywhere other than my own where there was so much hurt and anguish because of the alcoholics in my world. Fast forward to adulthood and I have spent a good deal of it doing the same thing. When reflecting on that, it makes me sad. When we envy others we fail to see all of our own blessings and unique features that make us how God sees us. I am happy to be in a place in my life where I like who I am and appreciate the "good" things in my life. I still struggle at times, but at least I am not where I was.
