Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hello · Hello

So my so called sober husband went to a party the other night and stayed over sleeping in our car as he was having a few. For a number of years now he had been saying he wasnt drinking at all. I always had my suspicions which has been proven true now. Its like i dont know what to do with this. Ive been an alanon...

DavidG · DavidG

I used to have a terrible personality. I used to call it my "poisonality". I would sometimes say the most inappropriate things. Basically I had never learned to communicate well. Things have improved considerably in this department. I am it the city- getting our caravan customised. With solar p...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author contrasts two ways of seeing disappointment and misfortune:1) As we may be first tempted to, with resentment and a sense we are suffering or being unfairly punished, or2) with a spiritual view that, as all things are as they should be in the moment according to our higher power's will,...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

My daughter is set to be getting out of Rehab in about a week and a half. She is talking about a sober living home, but doesn't have a job so I would have to assist her. I cannot find any information about costs no matter who I contact. Does anybody have any experience with this? She is telling me it's lik...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. Happy May too! Today's reading discusses how 'if only' thinking made our lives unmanageable, but a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us who arrive at Al-Anon have put our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. Our first step - admitti...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 5/3, talks about how at first detachment seemed cold and not loving at all. But the author now sees it as a wonderful gift. They are allowing their loved ones the privilege and opportunity of being themselves. They no longer want to interfere, intervene, protect, nor do the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a description of how living in an alcoholic environment can make it impossible for us us to view the world with clarity. The writer describes repeating the behaviors of his/her parents and grandparents in terms of looking at life, and didnt approach it any di...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who had a dripping faucet, and kept trying to fix it themselves, but it continued dripping until it did extensive damage, and they had to call for outside help. It was the same way with other problems, waiting until a situation would explode before addr...

DavidG · DavidG

These are vital writings. Today that would not be read at the average meeting. This is not CAL. Bu the AA BB can be found in a lot of our homes- and it is well worth reading at home. Chapters 8 and 9 in the AA Big Book showed the way- and showed the impact of addictive drinking on the family. "To Wi...

DavidG · DavidG

I missed my F2F meeting last night. Am in the big city for this week. and working north of the city on my BBQ Ranch. I couldn't bear to kill and eat our spare ewe so I am giving her away to a good home. Our local meeting is still an hour away for me. The number of regular members is gradually growing- f...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading talks to us about when we are asked to forgive someone who has hurt us. The author suggests that unless we have notalready condemned or judged the person asking for forgiveness, that there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Instead we wouldhave to forgive ourselves for judgin...

WendyP · WendyP

The reader was sharing about Step 8 and 9 about making amends,but still felt some anger and resentment towards the Alcoholic and the non Alcoholic Partner. They asked shouldn't they make amends to them. That was how I felt in early recovery, I knew that I had been badly treated as a child, my childhood h...

a4l · a4l

Hello family. Well the ink is not dry on my divorce. Actually I have to run into court and chase it up as we're not known for competence and the damn thing should have been called by now. As I'm back to work in another area of law from next week I will follow it up when I'm in for discovery duties . Perhaps being...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I think it is crucial to point out that for the past year we have been dealing with major traumatic stress . For over a year we have been dealing with an epidemic where we feel helpless and fearful. For over a year we have not known how things will go. Every day there is a new disaster. The disaster might n...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on strengths and weaknesses. The author has found that sometimes, what we think of as our greatest weakness actually turns out to be our biggest strength. The author spent years wishing that they could be courageous, but it...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that some may expect problems to disappear if/when the drinking stops. There are more challenges ahead, however, as home responsibilities recalibrate, the newly sober individual pursue a new set of activities (AA meetings, etc), and we continue working on our own recovery...

Fedora · Fedora

My Q just wrote me a super long letter which he promises is the last one he'll ever write to me. He basically accused me of all the things wrong in the world and completely negated the effect of alcohol on anything. This started with an argument in the morning and ended with this. At first my blood was Boil...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/26, asks the question: Whats so wonderful about alanon? It helps us see ourselves as we really are. Are we brave enough to acknowledge our faults? Can we examine with courage and honesty, our good and bad qualities? Alanon helps those who want to break down our broken par...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual ene...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who did not feel any feelings, or as they learned in Al-Anon, had lost touch with their feelings through years of living with alcoholism. Not having feelings was like "being dead," but as they began to recover and to experience their feelings. it was so u...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'. The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do...

DavidG · DavidG

Thanks for reading this. Last week I had a family issue- which was manageable. In my early 20's i was a deep deep trouble- so I took the route of doing voluntary work. I was between jobs more than onceso I used this time to try and do some good. My closest friends were junkies, really. I cam back home in 1...

JerryF · JerryF

Good morning family and I am happy to have the opportunity again to state my thankfulness and amazement on how and when HP does and will use program tools (CAL) to center and hold my attention as it reveals deep lessons I need to focus on. I am talking about the pages of the day from our literature which I w...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting fo...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks the question, "How can I both love and hate the alcoholic?It is suggested that we would not feel love and hate if we did not care about that person and that love is an emotion that is acharacteristic of a shared life but hate is love that has become distorted due to distrust and hopeles...

serenity47 · serenity47

When I look at my user name, it reminds me that I was 47 when i came to this forum. I am now 53. 6 years have flown by in the blink of an eye literally. Those years will pass one way or the other. I get to decide how I will spend that time. I wasted a few years of my life fighting against the disease. Time that I...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the guidance of the program in the midst of a crisis. Rather than beat ourselves up if we struggle, we can take comfort knowing recovery is a process, we are improving, and we will have another opportunity to apply our tools. Remin...

DavidG · DavidG

I had a tough week last week. Was totally zoned out at my F2F meeting. Just as well we are allowed to be ourselves inside the rooms. Over Covid I cut down on meetings. I do ACA and Alanon. I don't need meetings nearly so much. But I find I am still learning lots and lots of stuff... ... Found out last week t...

a4l · a4l

Hi mip family. I've been diagnosed with a case of dengue fever this week. A comparatively mild but nonetheless very unpleasant strain which is finally beginning to ease this afternoon. It's left me easily fatigued and generally weak and tired. The family have been living on takeout and canned beans...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks whether we are justified in getting angry with a person who is in an alcoholic fog. It is suggested that if we do get angry we are not accepting the "truth" that alcoholism is a disease. Outbursts and accusations do not improve the situation and in fact increase our frustration...

Ileana · Ileana

Hi everyone, I'm taking a big personal risk here, I desperately need to share my resentments from a Step 4 I'm doing, I'm not comfortable with having a sponsor, the past showed me I make bad choices, I am more comfortable with the idea of being read by a group of fellow travelers (in the hope that someone...

Lyne · Lyne

The first line of the reading for Monday, 4/19, is as follows: Learning about alcoholism has helped me to find serenity after years of struggling. It goes on to say that alcoholics have a diseasethey are ill, not bad. We can learn what is and is not reasonable to expect. We can adjust our expectatio...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer of today's page discovered having a choice about their own attitude, and how the way we interpret an event is the key to happiness. Instead of always waiting for others to show love and approval -- and being unhappy when it was never shown in the desired way -- the writer has learned in Al-An...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP & Happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is about the First Tradition of our program, "Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity." Many of us, prior to recovery, experienced anxious moments at work or in family settings when it was decision time. We would...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is summed up in the Thought for the Day: I cant turn something over until I truly own it. The writer describes having difficulty with the word sanity in step two. His/her sponsor suggested making a list of all the things that were done to try and control the alcohol...

JTS79 · JTS79

Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...

goddessofwriting · goddessofwriting

I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...

Ala2021 · Ala2021

My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...

MaggieT · MaggieT

Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...

MDA · MDA

Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...

DavidG · DavidG

Got inspired to do a little more. These days I have contact with sibs and cousins via facebook really. Facebook gets it's fait bit of flak- but it does keep people connected. So decided to reach out to a brother. He had a small business- in an industrial area of the city. Bu this landlord found out that h...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

AH apologized to me today for some things he said/did last night. He apologized through a text, which I did read but didn't respond to yet. He isn't home right now and won't be for awhile. I haven't responded yet because it has sent me into deep thought about the whole thing and I wanted to come here and hop...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer of today's page defines detachment as "emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism." They thought it was easy to do if they attached with indifference, because they had years of practice at denying their feelings. Detaching with love, though -- that seemed out of the...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Posting quite a bit late today - thanks for your patience! In today's share, the author reflects on how, as many of us recover in Al-Anon, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts. In this way, we are able to notice when our thinking begins to be distorted. Some call this distorted...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us us...

Ileana · Ileana

I feel sad tonight about the relationship I have with my sister. Today we only communicate at holydays and birthdays. I remember the times when we were young and we played together. I was the oldest and she even thought sometimes that I was cool. And at some point she preferred scapegoating me like my pa...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/12, talks about how we may wish for a quick fix or an immediate solution, even if the problem has existed for decades. Grant me patience, Lordand hurry! Some people will even launch into self-blame, as though there is something wrong with them because they cannot alleviat...

Ileana · Ileana

Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA member from the board 'next door'. I have been an Al-Anon member in the past, and gave up my online Al-Anon group for trigger issues. I had met people who were too much like my mother, and could not cope with it. I have been in other fellowships as well ... let's say 12 steps has been m...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Greetings, friends. Been a few minutes since I been here. Got a major change coming. I'm getting old. I'll be 65 next month, standard age of retirement round here. And, I'm going to retire. I actually had taken an early retirement at 63 and they asked me to come in and work a few shifts. That was 2 years ago...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about awareness of our feelings, and in a sense, honoring them- whether they are positive or not. The writer describes responding to his/her fathers alcoholism by behaving predictably and in a controlled way. The energy it took to deal with the alcoholi...

DavidG · DavidG

In our groups- I am aware that we are supposed to tell our full story to our sponsor. I was in Alanon before sponsorship was recommended, and so- at the time we told our story to our whole group. Sponsorship came later. But I am aware that i tailor my sharing to the meeting i am at. Sometimes I tell some a...

Rimjhim · Rimjhim

My ex and I have 2 kids together. He passed away when they were 14, few days before their bday. Since then both of the kids have been acting up, smoking, drinking. Yoo gets is close to 17 and ina mental hospital because she wanted to kill herself, infront of me/ so I can feel the pain I put her through. I admi...

DavidG · DavidG

Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan. My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice." Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids. A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made go...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses anonymity and how important it truly is. The writer suggests that fear of others finding out about their problems had them resisting going to Al-Anon. They didn't want anyone to find out, including their A. The writer's first step confirmed the fear...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. The reading in Courage to Change today is about Step 8. Quote: "With this Step we sort out our part, taking responsibility for our actions but also releasing ourselves . . . from the burden of falsely-held responsibilities. . . . In All Our Affairs Reminder: Certainly I make ch...

WebHelper · WebHelper

The Sparklit Board Funding has been expended. We are asking in the spirit of Tradition 7 for funding to continue the forums. Sparklit ActiveBoard Donations GoDaddy will be ready for renewal in May as well. We are looking for a solution for accepting donations. Last year we used my business PayPal a...

DavidG · DavidG

I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic. There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved. However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. In this g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Square 1 (Preview) So my so called sober husband went to a party the other night and stayed over sleeping in our car as he was having a few. For a number of years now he had been saying he wasnt drinking at all. I always had my suspicions which has been proven true now. Its like i dont know what to do with this. Ive been an alanon...	Hello	8	620	May 5, 2021 by Jen61
	Down the rocky road to self-sabotage... (Preview) I used to have a terrible personality. I used to call it my "poisonality". I would sometimes say the most inappropriate things. Basically I had never learned to communicate well. Things have improved considerably in this department. I am it the city- getting our caravan customised. With solar p...	DavidG	4	1273	May 4, 2021 by a4l
	5/4/21 ODAT – Disappointment, Misfortune…as Gifts of Enlightenment (Preview) Today's author contrasts two ways of seeing disappointment and misfortune:1) As we may be first tempted to, with resentment and a sense we are suffering or being unfairly punished, or2) with a spiritual view that, as all things are as they should be in the moment according to our higher power's will,...	Enigmatic	5	392	May 4, 2021 by a4l
	Question - Addict Returning from Rehab (Preview) My daughter is set to be getting out of Rehab in about a week and a half. She is talking about a sober living home, but doesn't have a job so I would have to assist her. I cannot find any information about costs no matter who I contact. Does anybody have any experience with this? She is telling me it's lik...	mamamary1964	38	850	May 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	C2C 5/1 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. Happy May too! Today's reading discusses how 'if only' thinking made our lives unmanageable, but a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us who arrive at Al-Anon have put our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. Our first step - admitti...	Iamhere	10	1402	May 4, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 5/3, detachment (Preview) The reading for Monday, 5/3, talks about how at first detachment seemed cold and not loving at all. But the author now sees it as a wonderful gift. They are allowing their loved ones the privilege and opportunity of being themselves. They no longer want to interfere, intervene, protect, nor do the...	Lyne	5	449	May 3, 2021 by Debb
	Hope for Today May 2 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a description of how living in an alcoholic environment can make it impossible for us us to view the world with clarity. The writer describes repeating the behaviors of his/her parents and grandparents in terms of looking at life, and didnt approach it any di...	yanksfan51	7	1985	May 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 30 - Courage to Change - Sharing our Dilemmas (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who had a dripping faucet, and kept trying to fix it themselves, but it continued dripping until it did extensive damage, and they had to call for outside help. It was the same way with other problems, waiting until a situation would explode before addr...	Freetime	10	1599	May 1, 2021 by Freetime
	Our first literature... (Preview) These are vital writings. Today that would not be read at the average meeting. This is not CAL. Bu the AA BB can be found in a lot of our homes- and it is well worth reading at home. Chapters 8 and 9 in the AA Big Book showed the way- and showed the impact of addictive drinking on the family. "To Wi...	DavidG	7	821	Apr 30, 2021 by a4l
	A weekly share... (Preview) I missed my F2F meeting last night. Am in the big city for this week. and working north of the city on my BBQ Ranch. I couldn't bear to kill and eat our spare ewe so I am giving her away to a good home. Our local meeting is still an hour away for me. The number of regular members is gradually growing- f...	DavidG	2	1471	Apr 29, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 29, 2021 – ODAT – Forgive (Preview) Todays reading talks to us about when we are asked to forgive someone who has hurt us. The author suggests that unless we have notalready condemned or judged the person asking for forgiveness, that there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Instead we wouldhave to forgive ourselves for judgin...	Debb	10	1911	Apr 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope For Today's reading. April 29th. (Preview) The reader was sharing about Step 8 and 9 about making amends,but still felt some anger and resentment towards the Alcoholic and the non Alcoholic Partner. They asked shouldn't they make amends to them. That was how I felt in early recovery, I knew that I had been badly treated as a child, my childhood h...	WendyP	4	363	Apr 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	A silly share about love. (Preview) Hello family. Well the ink is not dry on my divorce. Actually I have to run into court and chase it up as we're not known for competence and the damn thing should have been called by now. As I'm back to work in another area of law from next week I will follow it up when I'm in for discovery duties . Perhaps being...	a4l	10	2116	Apr 29, 2021 by Maresie888
	Traumatic stress Al anon (Preview) I think it is crucial to point out that for the past year we have been dealing with major traumatic stress . For over a year we have been dealing with an epidemic where we feel helpless and fearful. For over a year we have not known how things will go. Every day there is a new disaster. The disaster might n...	Maresie888	20	1087	Apr 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change April 28 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on strengths and weaknesses. The author has found that sometimes, what we think of as our greatest weakness actually turns out to be our biggest strength. The author spent years wishing that they could be courageous, but it...	Skorpi	6	324	Apr 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	4/27/21 One Day at a Time in AlAnon – Drinking Stops = Problems End? (Preview) Today's reading notes that some may expect problems to disappear if/when the drinking stops. There are more challenges ahead, however, as home responsibilities recalibrate, the newly sober individual pursue a new set of activities (AA meetings, etc), and we continue working on our own recovery...	Enigmatic	4	456	Apr 27, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Gaslighting from Q (Preview) My Q just wrote me a super long letter which he promises is the last one he'll ever write to me. He basically accused me of all the things wrong in the world and completely negated the effect of alcohol on anything. This started with an argument in the morning and ended with this. At first my blood was Boil...	Fedora	13	926	Apr 27, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	ODAT in alanon, 4/26 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/26, asks the question: Whats so wonderful about alanon? It helps us see ourselves as we really are. Are we brave enough to acknowledge our faults? Can we examine with courage and honesty, our good and bad qualities? Alanon helps those who want to break down our broken par...	Lyne	4	389	Apr 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Apr 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual ene...	yanksfan51	4	405	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 23 - Courage to Change - Feelings! (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who did not feel any feelings, or as they learned in Al-Anon, had lost touch with their feelings through years of living with alcoholism. Not having feelings was like "being dead," but as they began to recover and to experience their feelings. it was so u...	Freetime	11	1628	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/24 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'. The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do...	Iamhere	6	406	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	...self sabotage, through ingrained shame... (Preview) Thanks for reading this. Last week I had a family issue- which was manageable. In my early 20's i was a deep deep trouble- so I took the route of doing voluntary work. I was between jobs more than onceso I used this time to try and do some good. My closest friends were junkies, really. I cam back home in 1...	DavidG	7	446	Apr 25, 2021 by DavidG
	HP demonstrating over again what it can and will do for my healing. (Preview) Good morning family and I am happy to have the opportunity again to state my thankfulness and amazement on how and when HP does and will use program tools (CAL) to center and hold my attention as it reveals deep lessons I need to focus on. I am talking about the pages of the day from our literature which I w...	JerryF	10	425	Apr 23, 2021 by JerryF
	Courage to Change April 21 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting fo...	Skorpi	8	547	Apr 23, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 22, 2021 – ODAT – The Emotions Love & Hate (Preview) Todays reading asks the question, "How can I both love and hate the alcoholic?It is suggested that we would not feel love and hate if we did not care about that person and that love is an emotion that is acharacteristic of a shared life but hate is love that has become distorted due to distrust and hopeles...	Debb	8	698	Apr 22, 2021 by a4l
	Time passes one way or the other (Preview) When I look at my user name, it reminds me that I was 47 when i came to this forum. I am now 53. 6 years have flown by in the blink of an eye literally. Those years will pass one way or the other. I get to decide how I will spend that time. I wasted a few years of my life fighting against the disease. Time that I...	serenity47	4	346	Apr 22, 2021 by Iamhere
	4/20/21 One Day at a Time - Easy Does It (Preview) Today's reading acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the guidance of the program in the midst of a crisis. Rather than beat ourselves up if we struggle, we can take comfort knowing recovery is a process, we are improving, and we will have another opportunity to apply our tools. Remin...	Enigmatic	10	497	Apr 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	Letter home... (Preview) I had a tough week last week. Was totally zoned out at my F2F meeting. Just as well we are allowed to be ourselves inside the rooms. Over Covid I cut down on meetings. I do ACA and Alanon. I don't need meetings nearly so much. But I find I am still learning lots and lots of stuff... ... Found out last week t...	DavidG	5	396	Apr 21, 2021 by DavidG
	Weekend thoughts. (Preview) Hi mip family. I've been diagnosed with a case of dengue fever this week. A comparatively mild but nonetheless very unpleasant strain which is finally beginning to ease this afternoon. It's left me easily fatigued and generally weak and tired. The family have been living on takeout and canned beans...	a4l	7	788	Apr 21, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	April 15, 2021 – ODAT – Getting Angry (Preview) Todays reading asks whether we are justified in getting angry with a person who is in an alcoholic fog. It is suggested that if we do get angry we are not accepting the "truth" that alcoholism is a disease. Outbursts and accusations do not improve the situation and in fact increase our frustration...	Debb	9	411	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Step 4 resentments (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm taking a big personal risk here, I desperately need to share my resentments from a Step 4 I'm doing, I'm not comfortable with having a sponsor, the past showed me I make bad choices, I am more comfortable with the idea of being read by a group of fellow travelers (in the hope that someone...	Ileana	8	2051	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 4/19 (Preview) The first line of the reading for Monday, 4/19, is as follows: Learning about alcoholism has helped me to find serenity after years of struggling. It goes on to say that alcoholics have a diseasethey are ill, not bad. We can learn what is and is not reasonable to expect. We can adjust our expectatio...	Lyne	7	1266	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change, April 16 - Attitude (Preview) The writer of today's page discovered having a choice about their own attitude, and how the way we interpret an event is the key to happiness. Instead of always waiting for others to show love and approval -- and being unhappy when it was never shown in the desired way -- the writer has learned in Al-An...	Freetime	8	1799	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP & Happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is about the First Tradition of our program, "Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity." Many of us, prior to recovery, experienced anxious moments at work or in family settings when it was decision time. We would...	Iamhere	4	443	Apr 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today April 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is summed up in the Thought for the Day: I cant turn something over until I truly own it. The writer describes having difficulty with the word sanity in step two. His/her sponsor suggested making a list of all the things that were done to try and control the alcohol...	yanksfan51	7	2624	Apr 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Clarification (Preview) Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...	JTS79	4	2728	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	I feel stuck (Preview) I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...	goddessofwriting	12	1583	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	A Saturday Share... (Preview) Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...	DavidG	4	689	Apr 18, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	1st time here (Preview) My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...	Ala2021	9	2477	Apr 17, 2021 by a4l
	miss you all! (Preview) Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...	Hoot Nanny	6	1208	Apr 17, 2021 by DavidG
	Advice needed - asap Alcohol advice alcoholic (Preview) Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...	MaggieT	13	4176	Apr 17, 2021 by Ileana
	Materials for family members to read to help understand alcoholism? (Preview) Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...	MDA	6	3628	Apr 16, 2021 by Breakingfree
	Blended family and staying in my hula hoop! (Preview) Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...	Breakingfree	5	724	Apr 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	A lurch forwards... (Preview) Got inspired to do a little more. These days I have contact with sibs and cousins via facebook really. Facebook gets it's fait bit of flak- but it does keep people connected. So decided to reach out to a brother. He had a small business- in an industrial area of the city. Bu this landlord found out that h...	DavidG	5	388	Apr 16, 2021 by Ileana
	Accepting An Apology (Preview) AH apologized to me today for some things he said/did last night. He apologized through a text, which I did read but didn't respond to yet. He isn't home right now and won't be for awhile. I haven't responded yet because it has sent me into deep thought about the whole thing and I wanted to come here and hop...	SunnyFrogs	15	837	Apr 16, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change - April 9 - Detachment with Love (Preview) The writer of today's page defines detachment as "emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism." They thought it was easy to do if they attached with indifference, because they had years of practice at denying their feelings. Detaching with love, though -- that seemed out of the...	Freetime	15	1853	Apr 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change April 14 (Preview) Hello MIP! Posting quite a bit late today - thanks for your patience! In today's share, the author reflects on how, as many of us recover in Al-Anon, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts. In this way, we are able to notice when our thinking begins to be distorted. Some call this distorted...	Skorpi	5	382	Apr 15, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	4/13/21 One Day at a Time …All of the time (Preview) Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us us...	Enigmatic	10	1304	Apr 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	powerless ... (Preview) I feel sad tonight about the relationship I have with my sister. Today we only communicate at holydays and birthdays. I remember the times when we were young and we played together. I was the oldest and she even thought sometimes that I was cool. And at some point she preferred scapegoating me like my pa...	Ileana	9	1740	Apr 14, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 4/12 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/12, talks about how we may wish for a quick fix or an immediate solution, even if the problem has existed for decades. Grant me patience, Lordand hurry! Some people will even launch into self-blame, as though there is something wrong with them because they cannot alleviat...	Lyne	7	2116	Apr 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	hello (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA member from the board 'next door'. I have been an Al-Anon member in the past, and gave up my online Al-Anon group for trigger issues. I had met people who were too much like my mother, and could not cope with it. I have been in other fellowships as well ... let's say 12 steps has been m...	Ileana	7	1164	Apr 14, 2021 by Ileana
	Change (Preview) Greetings, friends. Been a few minutes since I been here. Got a major change coming. I'm getting old. I'll be 65 next month, standard age of retirement round here. And, I'm going to retire. I actually had taken an early retirement at 63 and they asked me to come in and work a few shifts. That was 2 years ago...	Wolfie55	10	2078	Apr 13, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about awareness of our feelings, and in a sense, honoring them- whether they are positive or not. The writer describes responding to his/her fathers alcoholism by behaving predictably and in a controlled way. The energy it took to deal with the alcoholi...	yanksfan51	7	2589	Apr 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	My Story... (Preview) In our groups- I am aware that we are supposed to tell our full story to our sponsor. I was in Alanon before sponsorship was recommended, and so- at the time we told our story to our whole group. Sponsorship came later. But I am aware that i tailor my sharing to the meeting i am at. Sometimes I tell some a...	DavidG	9	2488	Apr 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Angry children (Preview) My ex and I have 2 kids together. He passed away when they were 14, few days before their bday. Since then both of the kids have been acting up, smoking, drinking. Yoo gets is close to 17 and ina mental hospital because she wanted to kill herself, infront of me/ so I can feel the pain I put her through. I admi...	Rimjhim	9	2669	Apr 13, 2021 by Ileana
	Minding my own business. (Preview) Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan. My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice." Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids. A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made go...	DavidG	4	2819	Apr 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change 4/3 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses anonymity and how important it truly is. The writer suggests that fear of others finding out about their problems had them resisting going to Al-Anon. They didn't want anyone to find out, including their A. The writer's first step confirmed the fear...	Iamhere	13	2243	Apr 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/10 (Preview) Good morning MIP. The reading in Courage to Change today is about Step 8. Quote: "With this Step we sort out our part, taking responsibility for our actions but also releasing ourselves . . . from the burden of falsely-held responsibilities. . . . In All Our Affairs Reminder: Certainly I make ch...	Iamhere	5	2636	Apr 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sparklit Board & GoDaddy Funding Request (Preview) The Sparklit Board Funding has been expended. We are asking in the spirit of Tradition 7 for funding to continue the forums. Sparklit ActiveBoard Donations GoDaddy will be ready for renewal in May as well. We are looking for a solution for accepting donations. Last year we used my business PayPal a...	WebHelper	0	3661	Apr 10, 2021 by WebHelper
	Our slogan- think... (Preview) I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic. There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved. However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. In this g...	DavidG	5	815	Apr 10, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.