The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
though this is for NA, I can sure relate to what the author is saying about insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results
He or she goes on to talk about mistakes and how we all know how it feels to make them. And how many of us feel that our whole lives have been a mistake. We often think of our mistakes with shame or guiltat the very least with frustration and impatienswe see mistakes as evidence that we are still sick or still crazy or stupid or just too damaged to recover
in truth, mistakes are just a real important part of being a human. So for stubborn folks like alcoholics or attics, mistakes are often the best teachers. There is no shame in making mistakes and we people in Al-Anon when we make new mistakes working our program and learning a new way to live the new mistakes are proof of our willingness to take risks And to grow from them
It is helpful if we learn from our mistakes. Repeating the same ones may be a sign that we are stuckexpecting different results from the same old mistakes, that is what we call insanity and it just does not work
The author suggests that mistakes are not tragedies and when it happens, thats when we turn to our higher power and ask for help and learning from them
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i used to think That I was a mistakethat I was a defect because thats what I was told over and over so for me to make a mistake, I was just proving him right and a lot of my mistakes are a result of complex PTSD that often is accompanied by attention deficit so therefore I am injured. I do have an injury and it, too often , causes me to be detached from my own body and I am off somewhere in my head and I am not paying attention, not in the present, not in my body, not grounded, and certainly not regulated in my brain the right and left frontal lobes are not in sync. So I have to work extra hard to work to stay in the moment and to pay attention and to be in my body but still, I am going to make mistakes and I notice I am not quite so harsh on me when I make them because now when I make them I do my self talk and I ask myself OK what is the message or lesson here? And I journal or do a self talk chat with my inner child on myself and I sort it out. I no longer seek perfection which, thank God, was exhausting. I know that just doing my best and doing a good job is enough. Though I still get triggered when I do these self sabotaging things out of not paying attention and I do get hard on me, its not quite so bad as I am realizing that I need my compassion and forgiveness rather than brutal verbal punishment because I am doing my best with the tools that I have at the present. There are times when I feel like just giving up on me and throwing in the towel but then The next day, the sun comes out, and its a new day, and like my computer, I can reboot and start over
I often hear is said that we have the right to be wrong. In spread of walking over broken glass, trying our best to get everything perfect and right. My way or the railway sort of stuff.
I lost the ability to learn- along my journey because i was terrified of getting anything wrong. ...
Oh David, I can so relate to what you said about walking over broken glass and losing the ability to learn because youre afraid to do anything wrong oh my God I can relate. How lovely it is to be here in Al-Anon and to be loved and excepted for who we are not for the stuff we do right or mess up on but just for who we are. I really enjoy reading your shares
I have a hard time forgiving myself when I make mistakes. This program, and my good friends here remind me that I need to be kind to myself first and foremost.
"To err is human... to forgive, divine." ~~ Alexander Pope
Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver