The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I would like to share this story with all of you, as It has helped me so much in early recovery and still does, when I remember to do it. It comes from a very old Book of Al-Anon Forum Favorites. Here Goes.
A Farmhand carelessly left a freshly-milked pail of milk in the cowshed and went off to supper. Two Frogs promptly jumper in.
One Frog thrashed frantically around, exhausted himself and sank, discouraged, to the bottom. The other quietly moved his front and hind legs back and forth, easily keeping his head above the surface.
Next morning the farmhand returned to find the frog happily croaking, seated on a large blob of butter! When he dumped the now useless contents, the frog joyously went about his business. And down at the bottom was the first frog-dead.
As an old=time churner { I regularly churned during the ranch years}, I heartily admire the second frog. The lady said that she is grateful to him, as when she first heard the story, it had little meaning for her. But since Al-Anon it reminds her always "neither to fight nor run away-just quietly to do the best you can with serenity, and that she too, may churn her blob of butter which will save her life and sanity. She also said that she was living with the second frog, too, and she was deeply grateful to him for making her acquainted with him.
Since Al-Anon she had seldom indulged in scenes or sought release from unpleasant circumstances by boiling over. Rather she has created more tension within herself by mentally trashing around until she became exhausted herself, when, fortunately, Al-Anon takes over and again she sees things in perspective.
Her Frog has happily shortened this period. As she may not have butter to show for her efforts, but does attain a better quality of Serenity, more Quickly.
After reading this, and when ever I started to 'thrash around", all I would have to do, was to ask myself, which Frog do You Want To Be". I soon stopped.
In all honesty...I do not like frog 2. In reality such a frog would be dragged down to it's death. There are rarely ever only two such clearly delineated dwellers.
Sometimes shit happens. How we deal with it, is ours to decide. Sometimes, it's not fair.
Thanks for the story Wendy. I am reminded that we have choices each and every day, for each and every scenario we encounter. What makes sense to me and my brain may be foreign to another and vice versa. I'm a mix of each frog, depending upon my spiritual condition. Thankfully, I've been pulled back before the bottom of the bucket by others who were saner than me at the time.
Love and light all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
