The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual energy inward: observation of our own actions, character, motives and reactions. Resulting awareness helps us recognize changes we want to work on. The writer cautions becoming stuck in the thinking aspect of this- after observation we must practice acceptance and then guidance to what our action might be. The guidance can come from the quiet focus of meditation. Our bodies and minds are quieted and we are better able to listen to the messages from our HP. When action is taken based on introspection and mediation, we are growing in recovery.
I can very easily (and often) get stuck in introspection. My thinking mind can take over and it becomes difficult to quiet it. Conversely, I can sometimes feel the need to take action before spending enough time in thoughts and meditation- this is when I find it difficult to simply be in the present moment. I have noticed it is helpful to write and journal, and consistent meditative practice helps me to work on turning to my spiritual energy. I am thinking about todays reading as a message in three parts: introspection allows us to observe our traits and behaviors; meditation allows us to quiet our mind in order to accept what guidance our HP is offering; action based on introspection and meditation helps us grow in recovery.
Happy Sunday MIP - thank you Mary for your service and the daily. I'm one of 'those' who literally is biting at the bit to take action to solve problems, often those which are not mine to solve or even engage in. I have a vividly wild mind/imagination and as soon as I perceive an issue, it's off and running seeking solutions.
The biggest issue in this pattern of mine - others do not 'see' life as I do. Clearly, I believe that drinking (or other mind/mood altering substances) are a bad choice for those with a problem. However, who am I to judge another or even process knowing better for one than they know for themselves.
I've truly had to practice taking a back seat in my circle, family and life. I have to continuously remind myself that each of us has a HP and I'm not it. My habit of offering suggestions, well meaning and from the heart, is a form of trying to control others and outcomes. My life, days and relationships are improved greatly when I refrain from offering my views, suggestions, etc. until asked and instead focus on that small voice within.
For me, at the end of the day, I really don't want to control, manage, monitor, mother others. I deeply want all to be happy, joyous and free. When I focus on my own joy instead of the lives/joy of others, I believe I'm doing my part of being part of the solution. It's freeing to be able to offer prayers for another instead of comments, suggestions, insights, etc.
Practicing being quiet instead of jumping to solution mode is a direct result of looking inward and taking action. It's taken me all my life and this program to make me aware that often, for me, the best action I can take is to just be present, actively listen and allow another the space, time, quiet and support to just process whatever they need to process.
I plan to stay in my lane today, enjoy this lovely spring morning and golf this afternoon. Joel (for any who watch) is a good one for me today! 'The God who Stoops' is the title...FYI. Make it a great day all....choose joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Mary for your service. What a brilliant reading today!!
I look at Step 4 as the "introspection" part of this equation. I like that our program doesn't look at Step 4 as a "one and done" type of deal... I found many more layers to myself after each Step 4 that I have done!!
I am someone people come to with their problems... it happens frequently in my life - my entire life actually. Many want solutions, and I have been told that I am that "Idea Gal." Well, imagine my surprise when it was presented to me that it is very possible that my giving "solutions" was just my way of trying to exert some sort of control!!! I was offended at first tbh! LOL. I did go through a period where I pulled back from all that b/c of that knowledge. The last thing I wanted to be seen as was "Controlling!" I was trying so hard to be the "perfect" Al-Anon'er and support to my spouse. Can you tell I have a problem with demanding perfection in myself? LOL! However, that period of introspection in regards to this behavior/talent of mine was good for me. I recognized areas of my life outside of loving an addicted person where I could improve... allowing others to take the lead... going with other suggestions people make (despite thinking that they wouldn't work as well). I believe I am an easier person to work with b/c of this continued practice.
Today, b/c of Al-Anon, I can still be that person with many good ideas, yet allow people to ask for help as they need it. I no longer feel like my way will always be the best way! You could say that I am now as humble inside as I always tried to be on the outside.
During times of duress, I employ a technique called Tapping. I believe that for me, it is a type of meditation. I also try and thank my HP for the happenings in the day when I lay my head down to sleep... also a form of meditation. I have heard it said that praying the rosary is a form of meditation... although I haven't done that in many, many years. It is my belief that meditation comes in many forms... not just the "TV" version.
I am very happy today that I no longer come from a place of "Take Action Now!" I can pause... consider my options...and move forward with a calmer mind and action.
It wants to rain here, yet nothing is happening. I am going out to fertilize the garden and then to rest my bones - yesterday my brother came over (we got to hug for the first time in a whole year!!!), and we helped each other with some hard yard work for my parents. It was my JOY. Today I will give myself some TLC.
Thank you to those who shared today!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I have been doing meditation for a few decades now. I have had a number of meditation teachers. Now I have two a black Buddhist nun.and a former crack.addict who.pulled himself out of the gutter
Recently the black Buddhist nun said we are always dealing with uncertainty. There is no place in life but uncertainty
My current therapist is also a meditator. He challenges me enormously
I wouldn't say for me there is much that is peaceful in meditation. Meditation challenges me to live life on life's terms. I cannot say I wanted life on life's terms. My only vision was life on my terms. That is one of my core struggles
