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them and us stops recovery
(Preview)
Thinkjng of the alcoholic in our lives as the big bad one, the one causing all our problems makes a victim out of ourselves and puts them on a high pedestal where they dont really belong. The victim label i gave myself left me feeling hopeless and frustrated, i didnt think i had choices. I felt weak and ash...
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el-cee
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8
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668
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alcholism and narricism
(Preview)
anyone care to.share some thoughts on theze two lovely traits. Im quite sure im dealing with Both. .
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Theoceancalls
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11
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891
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Don't know what to tell them
(Preview)
My ah took the day off yesterday which is not a problem. But while we were out shopping someone from his work text him looking for a couple of phone numbers he has in his phone. Since ah was driving he had me text this person the numbers from my phone while I read them off his phone. I've talked to this person s...
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pixie
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9
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614
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Courage to Change reading 11-2
(Preview)
C2C reading for 11-2 speaks about Step 2 . It points out that the journey toward God is a process. and suggests that,looking objectively at the words, the step states "came to believe" that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The words are interesting. We c...
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hotrod
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3
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566
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Thought for Today ~ Changing ~ 11/03/15
(Preview)
Listing the good and bad elements in my situation will give me new insight. I will begin correcting my problems by changing myself. I will never try to compel someone else to change, for that would help neither of us. "Knowing that only complete honesty will bring me to self-understanding, I pr...
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Debb
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2
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309
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Nov 3 Hope for Today
(Preview)
Good Morning everyone! Today's reading is about serenity. Like the writer, I also used to consider serenity as an 'outward' and elusive destination. I always thought it sounded great but I don't think I believed I could ever feel it--- then I started doing the inward work that I needed to do. The qu...
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yanksfan51
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3
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519
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My solo-versary.
(Preview)
It's hard to believe, but it's been a year this week since I ceased living with abf and struck out on my own. A lot of this post will be about him, I don't say much about him any more so I hope that's OK; he's on my mind tonight as we've just spent a few days together. I am mostly OK and sometimes not; I'm ploughin...
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missmeliss
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18
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698
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***IGNORE THE SPAMMERS*** - THEY HAVE been REPORTED
(Preview)
Just FYI everyone - ignore the spammer....I've reported them already!
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Iamhere
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15
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629
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Step 8 posted
(Preview)
Step 8 has been posted Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61113927/step-8-alanon-11-2015/ Plea...
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hotrod
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1
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355
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Off-Topic - Anybody But Me Watching the World Series?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I am a Royals fan and wondered if anybody else is watching or getting ready to watch the World Series? Game 1 starts in about 5 minutes - may the best team win!!! -- Edited by Iamhere on Tuesday 27th of October 2015 07:04:55 PM
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Iamhere
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40
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993
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Silly problem I need help with :-)
(Preview)
I keep chewing over and over a "problem". It's not really a huge deal but I can't reach a decision and so I'm just spinning my wheels over it constantly and turning a molehill into Mount Everest. So, knowing that my MIP friends are a tremendous group of problem solvers, I'll throw it out to you...
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missmeliss
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9
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626
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Thought for Today ~ Pause ~ 11/02/15
(Preview)
I will pause and think before I say anything, lest my anger turns back upon me and makes my difficulties even greater. I will know that well-timed silence can give me command of the situation as angry reproaches never can. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be pu...
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Debb
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2
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326
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panic
(Preview)
I have tov write to handle my panuc. It seems since making this monumental decion mornig pani is my new standard and it scres me. Ive always been a status quo type. . Home is my sactuary. . But in the mirning i wake up sick to my stomach, shaking and forcing myself to breathe. . I know its going to get worse bef...
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Theoceancalls
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5
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643
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Just have joined
(Preview)
Hi everyone I am new here and think I may enjoy this
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wonderwoman
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4
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565
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Day 6 and still hanging in there.....
(Preview)
Hi again.....I just needed to put into words, the emotions I have experienced over the past 6 days since splitting with my partner. I think I've experienced every emotion possible. Sadness, lost, lonely, guilty, concern for his well-being. Moments when I feel like running back hoping that everyth...
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Jeanniejox
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11
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642
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What do I do?
(Preview)
Lately my husband of 28 years is scaring me! We are both drinkers but his consumption and behavior has been worrisome. One night he fell asleep outside beside the fire pit and accidentally Set the flowerbed straw on fire. I woke up to the smell of smoke and found him asleep surrounded by fire. He put...
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Scared54
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8
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708
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oh the hurt. .
(Preview)
So why iS it that now that I have finally decided to leave do the tears just continue to flow. I was always afraid tHat leaving would be as difficult as it's proving to be and I was afraid I would cave. The pain I'm feeling is deeper Than ThaT of anyThing I've ever felT before my husband still hold out hope and...
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Theoceancalls
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9
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701
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Courage to Change Thoughts for 11-1
(Preview)
C2C reading for today focuses on the "racing irrational thoughts" that swirl about within our mind over and over without stop. These racing, obsessive thoughts are evidence that we can not see clearly what is truly going on and that we must first quiet our minds before taking any ac...
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hotrod
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2
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501
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My youngest daughter
(Preview)
My youngest daughter is 18 and she has been through a lot,her father passed away several years ago and like a lot of young girls she latched on to a boyfriend when she was vulnerable,they have been together for 5 years and I have seen the unhappiness that this relationship brings,but I have kept quiet un...
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mjferg
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8
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620
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Working on detachment
(Preview)
I've been working really hard lately on detachment with my AH. I have felt very emotionally jerked around over the past week. He's hot and cold. He pulls me in or pushes me away and I can't deal with it. It has been very difficult because there has been a lot going on with someone in my family dying and I...
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KT2015
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2
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480
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Thought for Today ~ Let Go ~ 11/01/15
(Preview)
To "Let go and let God" is the way we find peace of mind. Our stubborn self-will can only hinder the working out of our problems. If I really want to be free to build a satisfying life for my self, I must first release the alcoholic from my efforts to direct and control. "May I always keep i...
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Debb
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2
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512
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I am a liar & a cheater
(Preview)
For so many years I have been dishonest. I can't seem to shake it. I am going to open up finally about the reality of it all. I haven't been able to share this on here because one of my friends is on here occasionally. So here I go. I have lived w this for many years & I finally want to get it out in the open. I h...
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Hoot Nanny
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19
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872
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Baby steps
(Preview)
Well I caved and replied to XABF email. I was disappointed in myself, but then I read a few others posts today. I've decided I will be grateful that I removed a lot of the you, you, you and made it I feel, and other I statements. It was definitely not perfect, but every time I can remove one you, followed my s...
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OceanTide
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5
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558
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Finally a chance to write
(Preview)
I bet you all were thinking "Now why don't she write" I have been back from Indiana now for 2 weeks. It was the best decision I could have made for myself to go there as it was much needed. While I was there I would not answer the phone after 8pm when AH called because it was just complaints and...
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Broken513
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16
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717
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Happy Halloween!
(Preview)
It's the most wonderful time of the year - for me anyway. I love trick or treaters, bought over 60 bucks worth of candy to give away, no I don't get hundreds of kids, but I can't just give each kid one treat, right? I love the older kids - giving up on being cool for the night to dress up and go knocking; I love kn...
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likemyheart
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3
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480
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Courage to Change Reading 10-31
(Preview)
The C2C reading for October 31 speaks about our inner reactions to the ever present "fear "we feel within . The reading explains that as the results of living with this disease, that anytime something" new" or unexpected happens, or the world does not go as we had thought...
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hotrod
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3
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899
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to those wives who have div their AHs
(Preview)
First a huge thank.you to those who.kerp.supporting me. I need your stories and wisdom. Im obsezsung, fretting and starting to get ticked off. . If my ah says one mire time im sorry. . But are you sure you dont want to reconsider. . I may kill him. Slap him at least. And there is offering to hug me? If i shrug...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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634
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C2C 10-30
(Preview)
The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about gratitude as expressed by members of Al-Anon. It points out that one of the most powerful experiences of a new member who enters the rooms and hears people express their gratitude, they (like myself) are often amazed . I could've written this p...
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hotrod
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3
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490
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Thought for Today ~ Poise ~ 10/31/15
(Preview)
Quiet poise can be acquired; and it does have a decided effect on the drinker, who, even in an alcoholic fog, senses a change in us. But even more important relaxing saves wear and tear on our emotions and preserves our own dignity. "Let me turn my thoughts away from the torments of the troublesom...
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Debb
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2
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445
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it is getting better
(Preview)
I am finding myself more & more willing to face the day. No matter rain or shine I have the chance to make it better & be there for others. Some of my Alanon friends are struggling & I am doing better being there for them sometimes if I just listen. Prayers are needed for a special friend who can...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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290
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morning panic again
(Preview)
Last nite i slept fitfully but woke up in panic. It seems to ne my new regular response. Ive spoken to.H about me moving in with a friend while we get financials in order. . Hes working with the bank. I said i would want him to agree to.a custody arrangement he said of course it just breaks my heart that you sn...
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Theoceancalls
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12
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584
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Al-Anon Slogans & More - Print Out
(Preview)
MIP Family - I put together a document that includes a ton of slogans and more regarding our program of recovery. You can print this out (2 pages) and use it as you wish/choose. I thank each and everyone here who has posted slogans and more so that I could put them in one place. This is a PDF file to protect t...
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Iamhere
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10
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2764
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Thought for Today ~ Appreciation ~ 10/30/15
(Preview)
I want to recognize and appreciate the good and lovable qualities of the alcoholic, and not hate him, but the sickness from which he suffers. His gradual awareness of my appreciation of him as a person can rebuild his confidence and self-esteem and create a desire for sobriety. "By love I do not...
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Debb
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2
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478
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2 forward 1 back still ahead
(Preview)
Well we had some sad news today, my nephews wife passed away suddenly. I still do not have all the details of what happened. When mom called this morning to tell me about it, the death of my sister Kathy this past July came flooding back. I know how much he is hurting and wish I could just be there with him, bu...
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Broken513
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5
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517
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morning panic again
(Preview)
Last nite i slept fitfully but woke up in panic. It seems to ne my new regular response. Ive spoken to.H about me moving in with a friend while we get financials in order. . Hes working with the bank. I said i would want him to agree to.a custody arrangement he said of course it just breaks my heart that you sn...
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Theoceancalls
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1
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287
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I did it again :(
(Preview)
I met a man a while back and we have been dating pretty seriously. I met his son and he has been very attentive and loving. Yesterday I was out late from work. My work is close to his home. And we were going to eat dinner together at my home but since I was running late I decided to drop by his home. Their was a car...
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texasgal
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8
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640
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Courage to Change reading 10-29
(Preview)
The C2C reading for October 29 speaks about" taking offense" when somebody says something unkind about us even if it is true. The reading points out that many of us use that same justification to criticize others, and ease our conscious and justify our unkindness by stating " t...
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hotrod
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5
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571
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Thanksgiving and the drinks.
(Preview)
AH and I are hosting a group of 13 for Thanksgiving this year and I am very excited, I love Thanksgiving and I am happy to have a lot of family travel from far to be at our house for the holiday. People are starting to ask what they can bring to help out and the alcohol I know people will bring makes me very nervo...
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CoopsMom
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11
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846
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Today is day 1
(Preview)
Today is day 1...today I will try to remain calm inside my head. Today I will not reach out (good or bad) or reply to XAB emails. Today is about me. To the XAB, congrats on a two month chip. I know it has been very hard to achieve with all the guilt and shame you carry. I'm sorry I can't say something in person, b...
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OceanTide
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5
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475
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made it through, but. .
(Preview)
So after last nights blow up. . We did get through hoeever, the quiet "barbds" contued,where will you live, your name will still be on this mortgage, gonna take the dog right? , it just bothers me hecan be so damn heartless. . We both have said we want our daughter to stay in her school. So renta...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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531
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Thought for Today ~ Tolerance ~ 10/29/15
(Preview)
"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" tells me I must first make peace with myself before I can learn to love others. I must remind myself constantly that I can never know any other person's motives and conditioning: I must, for my own sake, accept them as they are. A large ingredient of t...
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Debb
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2
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385
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the frustration of the family disease alcoholism.
(Preview)
I started writing a reply somewhere then thought id be better off expressing myself here. The children of alcoholism are so deeply deeply affected by the disease in ways that are insidious,baffling,cunning and hurtful. We the children of dysfunctional families grow up in survival mode, and are al...
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a4l
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3
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531
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I really messed up. .big
(Preview)
Well things in my life just Went from bad to Worse I can front of my husband but there is no Way I'm going to go to counseling With him and he freaked out. He demanded to know wHo I can talk to you and wHat it made me cHange my mind since tHe fact tHat yesterday I was considering it. SquiShy blame my mother whom I h...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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614
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How to overcome my anxiety with alanon
(Preview)
Hello wonderful community of alanon friends ~ I have been in the alanon program for about 4 years now and I have faithfully went to meetings and worked my program. I have done the steps once. I do not currently have a sponsor. My reason for writing today is that I have really been struggling with Anxiet...
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hope4ever
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4
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1516
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Empty drinks bottles
(Preview)
I have a 25 years old son. For the last 4 years or so he has become very withdrawn, he smokes canabis, he holds a full time job, to me he has completely gone there is nothing there. At times there is an odd moment when he is his old self. He has no friends, his only friend has just gone to universiy. Today when pu...
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sharee
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4
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589
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I wish you were here friends....
(Preview)
Today is a day when I wish you were all in my home and not just my heart. I would like to bring you into the kitchen and offer you tea and have you sit down and cry with me. However, the tears wouldn't be all about sadness and grief - there has also been real growth here in the midst of pain. I am finding my foo...
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LedfootJenny
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13
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642
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Courage to Change 10 -28
(Preview)
Good Morning Family Today's daily reading will be brief as I am running late. I stayed up late, watching the Mets blow the first game and now need to catch a train for my weekly trip to NJ.The C2C reading for October 28 speaks about our attitudes and how they can be conveyed to others in what we say and...
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hotrod
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2
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448
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where i am today
(Preview)
Well. .I read and re read everything people respond to me and i now am quite sure im crazy. . No not really just trying to.make humor. . So a week ago i had called a divirce atty, told my family of org and husb i was done and now im about to watch him go to his first ever Celebrate Recovery meeting and get the name...
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Theoceancalls
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13
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632
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XAH in bad shape
(Preview)
My son called me yesterday at work to tell me that his dad had another binge while he was staying at XAH's house. He said that he got woken up at 3 AM while XAH was playing the drums until 5:30 AM. He then told me that he had to take Uber to school and back home again because the ex was non responsive all day. H...
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andromeda
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15
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705
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torn after first relapse post-rehab
(Preview)
My H got back from rehab about a month ago and had been doing wonderfully- he was going to an outpatient program a few nights a week, AA the other nights, was being really open/honest with me, and really seemed like the best version of himself that I've ever seen. I had been living in a subletted apartment...
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kaim011
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5
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5447
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Ha! A fine how do you do ( long )
(Preview)
I spent 6 overnights and 7 partial days at the hospital with my 89 year old MIL. She didnt have to wait for a nurse to come in when she was hot or cold, needed a blanket on or off, needed to go to the bathroom. She was very forgetful because of some of the drugs she was on so I also acted as her memory and she was gla...
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Broken513
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1
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510
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Thought for Today ~ Faith ~ 10/28/15
(Preview)
Understanding my relationship to God will show me that humility is an essential element of faith, and true humility will remind me to LIVE AND LET LIVE. Faith in a Higher Power can also help me overcome my faults. If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as tho...
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Debb
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1
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272
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Day 3
(Preview)
Well its been 3 days since I took the first step towards getting my life back and that is to walk away from my relationship. Today I received the usual few messages from my ex but now hes saying Im been having an affair with his best friend which is totally untrue. Ive managed to stop myself from replying b...
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Jeanniejox
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4
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453
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Feeling very stressed
(Preview)
At the moment, my son is home for a few days and is not very well. He is having a hard time finding a permanent place to live and unfortunately I cannot help financially as his father is ill with cancer and has no insurance, so that is where my money goes at the moment. I guess I just need to focus on the good st...
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maire rua
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3
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1976
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Just recently back from the Surgery table...
(Preview)
and didn't remember it being as intense. Eye surgery...right eye this time and removal of another cataract. DANG !! weird and total feeling of powerlessness. I like the gayety that comes about with the staff and then the seriousness of the surgery lights out and conversations from faces I canno...
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Jerry F
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25
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818
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More good news....but need advice on relapse
(Preview)
I just wanted to tell everyone that my AH is still doing really great in her recovery. She is inspiring me with her strength, increased energy and renewed ability to fulfill my needs. This is due to her following her own program combined with us working on our marriage. Things that would have been ea...
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uva25
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8
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424
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Hurt and need to vent
(Preview)
Hi all :) i find myself posting on here for the first time because I need to tell my story and would welcome your advice. This will be a very long post, however I need to let it out. Yesterday I walked away from a 10 month relationship. My ex-partner is a good person but his life is ruled by alcohol. He would...
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Jeanniejox
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11
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612
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me again
(Preview)
Feeling emotionally raw. Those of yiu whobhaven rdg and responding know what chaos my life is in. . Let me add some more. My ah has reached out to a pastor friend, come clean and will be going to.his first cel recovry mtg on thursday. Im left feeling ambivelent, anxious, apathetic and scared. Is tjis jus...
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Theoceancalls
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12
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704
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Thought for Today ~ Rebellion ~ 10/27/15
(Preview)
All of us tend to rebel against the unhappiness in our lives; we try to understand; we resent what we cannot understand. Rebelliousness will only heap one frustration on another until we learn to get out from under, let go, and let God take a hand in our affairs. "When a man of good-will is trouble...
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Debb
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4
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598
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Gonna be a Grandpa again!!
(Preview)
And this one will be right in town here where I am!! Can't wait! I hope it's a ... baby! That way I doubt i'll be disappointed. Can't start buying diapers yet because I don't know the sex, so I'm going to stockpile wipes. Gonna build a playhouse and a rocking bear. Rocking horses are too cliche. PLUS, Mo...
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almostThere
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8
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477
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