The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I think it'S been about 3 weekS Since I found the pictureS of my huSband and hiS lateSt affair. I set a boundary said I'm done and want to divorce and he has spent every day since convincin. g me that I owe him yet another chance yes he's apologized and he's been kind and gracious and all of that kind while he's been at the house. . But there's Been no movement he went to one recovery meeting he's Been to 2 counseling sessions. TonighT he asked me if I would mind if he wenT To play cards. . Figures that's just what I expected he can't stay home and he'll use it is his way oF saying I'm giving you your space. Which is fine because I truly don't Want him home at the moment. He encouraged me to be in toucH witH His counselor and I did speak witH Her today tHat was ratHer interesting. I think she actually listened to me and maybe realizes reconciliation is not really a possibility. She aSked me what I what She could do to help I Said you need to help him to let go of me and to realize that reconciliation iS not happening and that we need to meet with a divorce mediator. I asked her to do to be discreet which I think she understood when she heard all I had to say I think she realizes that there's of course two sides to every story. She indicated underStanding my point and underStanding that I had no opportunity to go back and try to reconcile that I waS truly done. I express to her as I have expressed here before it breaks my heart to be at that point I never wanted to be yet another person to walk out of my husband's life and I certainly never wanted to be in a position of having to share my daughter with anyone regardless of how selfish that sounds. It breaks my heart It truly does and I'm so emotIonally exhausted I can't even put It Into words I do know in my heart this marriage needs to end but what breaks me apart is what this will do to my child. Like every chiLd she wiLL just want mommy and daddy to be together and yet mommy and daddy are sLowLy destroying each other. My husband isn't playing fair we had two pretty significant fights in the past two weeks that yes My daughter has had to endure. He pusHes every button He can drugs up every piece of History and sadly I react. At this point I'm plAnning to meet with the legAl consultAnts on MondAy to Ask About getting A sepArAtion Agreement drAwn up so thAt mAybe I cAn At leAst move forwArd to getting myself out of the house
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
I am also hearing a bit more empowerment from you. Some unhelpful negative self talk too though. Your daughter is a person that is already being shared not just with your AH, but with the world. AND, you are not "just walking out of his life" as 1. His behavior drove you out. 2. He isn't ever going to be totally "out" of your life as you have a child and a long history. And 3. Staying in his life is not making either of you better.
So while you sound so much stronger TOC, please start answering back to negative thoughts that just make you feel like crap. Yes, it is depressing and sad to be going through this. Feel the feelings but you can limit or answer back to thoughts that make it worse.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Friday 6th of November 2015 08:43:36 PM
