The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am leading a meeting on anonymity because it has come up that it can be uncomfortable when you meet a fellow member in public and someone asks "How do you know that person"? I haven't found any information in any of my books that give ideas about this subject.
Welcome ti MIP finn - glad you found us and glad you are here.
I tend to answer along the lines of either church, a friend of a friend, softball or friend of sibling.
I am one who will be dishonest in moments like this to protect the anonymity of another and preserve privacy.
HTH! I have also ignored the question before completely if that seemed the correct answer.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I say from a discussion group I joined years ago . If they asked what the focus of the discussions were I would state"Spirituality" and leave it at that
What i do is use eyes only if they or i am with someone
Else. If its just us we chat and laugh. Its nice talking to
Someone outside the meeting.
One member got very angry with me and we were both
Alone. I said hello elizabeth, she shot me daggers and kept
Going, she is not moody so it was not that she did not like
Being acknowledged in public by me. She is a public figure
Too, my lesson learned.
So pick and choice who you speak to even when they and
you are alone.
Just as a friend. No need for details but I do like what Betty said about spirituality. Each situation might be different depending on the person. I feel OK when someone approaches me. I don't care who or what is going on at the time.
Kathleen
Thanks for the ideas. I will bring them to my meeting and share any good ideas with the forum. Most situations I have gotten stuck in have to do with my being with a friend who doesn't know that I belong to Al Anon or why for that matter asking how I know a fellow Al Anon member that we ran into. I don't like to lie but have gotten stuck.
I know thats why i try to use eyes only. I live in a small
Area. I have heard countless times even when i
Or they Just say hi, how do you know her ?
I Even visited a members new pad eventually her
Son asked how do you two know each other.
She goes to aa and alanon you would not think
He would not ask anymore yet he did she told
him Some story.
As a fairly newbie, I struggled with this just last weekend. I wanted to say hi to a fellow Al-Anon person who was presenting at a craft show I attended and then got confused as to the etiquette and turned my eyes down and kept walking. It so went against my nature. Next time I will just smile and say hello. Enough said!
__________________
Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
I go to 3 meetings every week and they all happen in a church. So I will say I met her at a church meeting. If they ask more I say it was so long ago that I can't remember the details.
