Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mamalioness · mamalioness

Since december, it has been one thing after another: My client and friend gets killed in a car wreck and now my work is less and struggling more financially Sister #1 in March decides she wants out of here (she had Alzheimers) and so she stopped drinking and eating and is dead 1 week later April, I have to p...

Lyne · Lyne

I guess I'm going to try and laugh at my family instead of having a pity party. My sister and nephews are visiting for 3 days from CA. They are staying with an older brother who is a borderline psychopath. My sister loves him. I have a really nice brother and he and my sister aren't speaking. The older...

Lyne · Lyne

Well last night I did get hurt and today I am using my tools and I KNOW I will make a strong comeback . The valuable Alanon lesson comes from learning to focus on myself. Because when the Foo and the spouse and other people hurt and let me down, I have myself, I have HP, I have my tools (getting a good workout...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 2 speaks about experiencing the joy of living. It points out that, new members are astonished to learn that many of the happiest people at the meeting were also burdened with a wall black despair. when they first found program . It was Al-Anon that brought the joy of livin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Please join us in the chatroom if you need a meeting. Our chair is Courage, our topics are GRATITUDE.. MAKING A LIST, AND OPEN ALANON TOPIC.

misterpiko · misterpiko

I haven't been on this board for quite some time. I reread my old post and the responses and unfortunately, I am insane (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results). My husband continues to relapse despite nearly dying from an overdose just over a year ago, and another overdo...

DavidG · DavidG

My step one used to go like this: Admitted that I was powerless over xxxx and that my life had become unmanageable. Over the years I have put a lot of things in that middle frame- including alcoholism and addiction. Last night we had a 'chip night' with three grandkids, mum and dad... it was really good...

Lu0519 · Lu0519

Ive resisted the Al-Anon program for years. My attitude has always been, Im not the alcoholic, why do I need to go to meetings? Im not the one who screwed up our family. I am VERY angry and bitter. I know this and I just dont think theres anything wrong with that. I hate my ex and why shouldnt I? My stor...

Dlove · Dlove

Well, My AH of almost 14 years came home drunk and very angry Friday morning (a week ago) because I wouldn't give him a ride home from the bar. I guess he ended up walking home and was fuming mad by the time he got there. He woke me up but when I layed back down to avoid the alcohol induced arguments he loved to g...

MissM · MissM

I've a fairly odd relationship with my mother, really. If I tried to explain it all, I'd probably break the forum by submitting too much text. Maybe the whole internet. Theres a lot of "stuff" from childhood that I used to think didn't bother me and actually, as I get older (and I hope healthier) it actua...

Daddy M · Daddy M

Hi, I'm new here and I'm hoping to find some support and maybe some helpful advice. I feel the need to share what got me here. My wife is an alcoholic. We have an 18 month old son. She ended up incarcerated after a violent altercation that landed me in the ER when our son was just over months old, yes a little o...

Aerin · Aerin

As some of you know, I have left my alcoholic boyfriend of five years. it has been a roller coaster five years and I did give it my all by learning about the disease, going to Al-Anon, reading stuff, you name it. I probably should have left years ago, but insteadI I set boundaries and he finally went to AA an...

MissM · MissM

Today's courage to change reading is about criticism and it's effects- both the excessive criticism we might have received from others, and that which we bombard ourselves with, before recovery, at least. Self-criticism is often the by product of living with addiction and dysfunction, but it dep...

Aline · Aline

Hi all, I want to relate a recurring theme for me in the last 3 days. Its kind of funny how these things coincide, I think maybe my HP is trying to say something to me, but I'm at a loss. Something like 3 days ago my mom called me to ask for advice on how to better handle a situation with her A brother who had left w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This morning I decided to take in the morning meeting and as I drove down to the meeting site going in the direction of the ocean I drove into and thru a very large bright Triangle of light reminiscing of our logo. It was surrounded with very bright light and I felt spiritually comfortable with what I w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

We are half way through another year - time goes so, so fast! Today's reading talks about prayer and praying. The writer shares a story about a small child repeated his ABC's over and over again. An adult comes upon the child, asking what he's doing/saying. The child suggests he's praying - when cor...

Oggymlad19 · Oggymlad19

My father is very sick and no matter how many times my mother and I have tried to help, it always goes wrong. We need help, we do not know what to do anymore. He is physically sick because of the alcohol and he refuses to go to a doctor or get hemp or even admit that it's the alcohol that's causing him tofeel sic...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about tradition 8 and that primarily our program is a non professional one that for the most part does not offer pay (or charge anyone) for its services. When I read this I think of the expression 'you get what you give' in the sense that the reward is in the giv...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 4 in recovery - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Al-Anon's guide to taking Step 4, Blue-print for Progress walks us through the process, and the writer shares that they had surprise at how many questions existed about Character assets! Over a...

milkwood · milkwood

It has been a long time since I posted about myself here at MIP so here is an update... Next week I will complete my second year of studying person-centred counselling at University. I've loved the course and being in an environment full of learning and youth has invigorated my spirit. I even found ti...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD calls me often. She doesn't drink every day, nor does she take too many anti-anxiety meds every day, so there are some days when she is somewhat rational. Her life/emotions are very chaotic, but she is starting to work a couple days a week (didn't work for years) and starting to make some progress...

brie925 · brie925

Hey there, I'm new to this forum, but have been to Al-anon meetings IRL several times before. A little bit about me: I am new to this - "my alcoholic" and I have been together for 7 months. She has had various lengths of sobriety, with this being her first serious attempt being within the last 6 months, an...

BreathingInAndOut · BreathingInAndOut

Thank you all for reading this - and providing me a safe space to share. I have been through several unsteady years with my A. 7 total, about 5 of them with very deep lows. The last 2 have been particularly painful with at least 7-8 break up moments; although a break up never occurred. This spring I went on...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author long saw the qualifier's disease in terms of how it affected her/his life, seeing the actions of the alcoholic as reflecting on them. In this way, the ups and downs of the alcoholic's recovery were taken personally.Looking back, the author identified the most important thing they le...

T84 · T84

Letting go of the bitterness/anger has been difficult for me. I just started counseling, F2F meetings and this forum. My AW is still in jail and I am not sure for how long--4th DUI/probation violation. She will be sentenced in early July. This is the fourth time in jail, and according to her, she wi...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My husband had a love relationship with alcohol for almost 50 years, beginning in his teens. He never verbally acknowledged alcohol caused any problems despite being stopped and let go by police, arrested, being too drunk to go to the hospital when our children had accidents or serious illnesses,...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page author realized that bitterness directed toward the qualifier was causing great self harm, and as with most things, concluded that there was a choice: Continue to carry bitterness based on blame and resentment, or change perspective and find peace. The author chose the latter, ackno...

Staci · Staci

Hello all. Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to join this group. I am brand new to it. I guess I wil just come out and say that I live with an alcoholic brother and can be very abusive sometimes. Im at the point of having to make moving decisions because of it. I dont want to move away from my elderly mom a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

my dear sister was admitted to hospital last night cancer has spread to her liver and possibly other parts...this is NOT looking good...Thank you program for giving me the ability to reach out to her when I did back 2 years ago or whevenever it was because even tho I hurt like hell now, its better than to n...

Bo · Bo

Sobriety for the alcoholic or drug addict is a simple standard...either you drank or you didn't. Either you used or you didn't. No debate, no discussion, very definitive, black and white, cut and dry. However, when we look at our sickness, our disease, where is the standard of sobriety. Is it an actio...

Kub · Kub

Hello, I've never done anything like this before, but I need some support. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I've been married to my husband for 17 years. He is a major alcoholic. I have so many stories I want to share. I just need to know I came to the right place for a little support. I don't want to feel like I...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Our youngest is marrying this weekend in another city. There will be a big wedding with numerous family and old friends coming from out of town. I am looking forward it. I want to keep my focus on all that is good and joyful. Of course-why else am I on this site?...... there is my AD (who lives 100 miles a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading June 25 speaks about my favorite Step-Step 11. The reading points out that the words of this step are extremely important,:" sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the pow...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I have been very busy lately working and taking it one day at a time. My sister passed out 3 weeks ago and her husband took her to the ER. They discovered her large intestines were leaking and have to take out 6 inches of her colon which in turn gave her a colostomy for the rest of her life. She wa...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63689471/alanon-s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My grand-son in law had a birthday celebration today and my grand-daughter made sure I was invited. What's it like to just sit and watch a multi-generational family get together and just have simple, sane fun without a smidgen of alcohol? Its not all about me. I sat and just watched the goings on....

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am going to a discharge planning meeting with my A and her therapist . My A has no concept, no understanding, and no interest, in planning her next helpers after a 6 week intensive day program. She only went because of me. So at this juncture it is up to her , and I think she will relapse rather qui...

Rach32986 · Rach32986

Hi, I'm new to the boards but came for help. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 6 (half my life). We have a 2 year old and a surprise baby on the way due in october. Husband has been dealing with depression and alcohol abuse for a year and a half. He gets destructive in our home (bre...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi everyone!! Several years back, I had a cousin who was mildly retarded and a lovely fellow and he absolutely worshipped me..I was his sweetheart...His favorite person and all he ever wanted of me was to love him and when I moved out of state, to write him when I could..People said he would run to the mai...

a4l · a4l

I'm grateful grateful for the doors of understanding and keys to action that alanon has given me. My current state of eye rolling rests in thinking that every bs drama can simply be explained as the byproduct of addiction. Its really not that complicated! I know enough now to resist the urge to force i...

el-cee · el-cee

It feels like freedom from despair and it feels like memories can be faced and felt with a new heart. Thinking about my kids when they were wee, how beautiful they were, their soft skin and the innocent faces, wouldn't it be nice to go back just for a moment and tell them I'm sorry for not being the Mother yo...

MissM · MissM

Today's courage to change is about seeing our successes. It opens with a cute story which I will outline for anyone that doesn't have the reader- a farmer decides to encourage his hens to lay more eggs by playing the flute for them all day long. When he is asked if it was a success, he agrees that is was, be...

Lee51 · Lee51

I'm really struggling with making decisions right now. I started attending meetings twice a week a few months ago, but then a sudden illness has kept me away the past couple weeks. I'm still not 100% recovered and reminding myself that not feeling well is adding to my stress. I'm a year from retirement...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So, yea. Payday. In our house it's "Drunk Thursday." So the next couple of days are hard, but let's talk about ME! LOL! At my place of employment, I can see out a very large bay window. Were talking storefront large. My AH drives a BRIGHT yellow/orange work truck... it is literally impossible to miss. So...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about honesty. Alcoholism, the family disease, brings about denial for almost all affected. To recover, heal and deal with our lives, we need to be truthful with ourselves as we continue to review our own attitudes and actions each day. This honest reflection allows us to be hu...

KT2015 · KT2015

I am not sure what to title this yet because I just need to get it out. My AH was drinking yesterday he came home early from work and started drinking so by the time I got home he must have been intoxicated but I wasn't expecting it and so I didn't notice. Lately he has been trying to curb his drinking and man...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about how we learn to speak from our heart with our focus on self. Many of us come to recovery believing we are angry because of others or we are anxious because of others. We come to realize that when we blame others for how we feel, we give them power over our feelings, power that righ...

thos17 · thos17

After living with my alcoholic wife for 10 years, I moved out of our shared home (rental) two and a half years ago. I initially bounced between sublets and a friend's house for one year, and then moved into my own one-bedroom apartment in Jan 2016. During that time my wife had 7-8 stays in residential t...

Mikhail · Mikhail

My father died today. I spoke with him yesterday and he was looking forward to my visit this weekend for Father's Day. There is a possibility that he had not actively been drinking for a week or two before he died, but the damage had already been done. I'm relieved that he is no longer suffering. I wis...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My daughter turned to me today and said Mom I know the moment I was just done with dad .. and as done I was D was beyond done. It was Father's Day 3 years ago. That was the day my children reached out to their dad and asked him to spend Father's Day with him. He declined stating that his mother was sick and in t...

Sadhana · Sadhana

Hello, I WANT to go to my first f2f meeting but I always come up with excuses for why I can't...such as I don't like the time/day the meeting is at or who's going to take care of things at home if I'm not there or I'm tired/sick I'll go next week...you get the picture. Have I not hit my rock bottom yet? What...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I started this morning bright and early - went to watch the two grand-babies for a while. Both parents started new jobs a couple weeks ago, and they just can't grasp the whole schedules, day-care, etc. so - I was asked and able to be of service. I went to their home as mine is clean for overnight company t...

Aline · Aline

Hi all! Thoughtful today, and want to share my thoughts with you. I'm living on my own now for almost a month, having finally made a boundary with my abf that I'm going to live separately for 3 months, and after that time, if he is living sober and working on maintaining his sobriety, I will move back in. I h...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Step 12 begins "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God..." Today's page reassures any with concerns about meditation that it is nothing mysterious or otherworldly but a way to think thoughtfully, contemplatively in quiet moments. This is something we of...

Mattie · Mattie

You all know how it goes. It's a little different for my ex-AH, because he's a binge drinker, so there are periods of calm. He was in one of those for a while, and he moved in with a friend and things seemed to be on an even keel. But then of course everything fell apart. I got word that the friend came home a...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

At my wits end with my 15yr old. Between her funky mood swings and all that goes with having a teen girl and the isims of the family disease I am truly at a lost for what is real and what is just teen BS. Twice today she did what I felt was blaming me for the decisions she makes..." I only did it because you did tha...

Bailey71 · Bailey71

or... accepting what is. So as advised, I have been attending Alanon meetings and taking care of myself.My ex is in her first year and half of recovery - she broke it off with me in a particularly brutal, unilateral way that took me completely by surprise. When people are in pain they cause pain. She sim...

Aerin · Aerin

Just left today. :( Even though abf is still in AA and doing well, he is still very selfish in real life and the things that have been mentally and physically done to me over the past 5 years have never really left me. He seems to forget the hitting me and breaking my ribs. Obviously I am super co-dependan...

Mother of Poodles · Mother of Poodles

My ex fiance and I were together for 5 years, then broke up for a year, then got back together for 6 month, then I finally called it quits. What ended the relationship after all that time and everything he put me through, was that while we broke up for a year (and yes I did date someone else during that time...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I sit here concerned for my sanity. My mom has been running again. I just want to see her & give her a hug. I am grateful that she is in town at least. The reason I am concerned for myself is because I don't know if I can handle any more. I have used tough love until it has made me sick.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When it seems that LIFE has it in for you (Preview) Since december, it has been one thing after another: My client and friend gets killed in a car wreck and now my work is less and struggling more financially Sister #1 in March decides she wants out of here (she had Alzheimers) and so she stopped drinking and eating and is dead 1 week later April, I have to p...	mamalioness	14	1418	Jul 3, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Family so dysfunctional (Preview) I guess I'm going to try and laugh at my family instead of having a pity party. My sister and nephews are visiting for 3 days from CA. They are staying with an older brother who is a borderline psychopath. My sister loves him. I have a really nice brother and he and my sister aren't speaking. The older...	Lyne	6	2012	Jul 3, 2017 by MissM
	Valuable Alanon lesson (Preview) Well last night I did get hurt and today I am using my tools and I KNOW I will make a strong comeback . The valuable Alanon lesson comes from learning to focus on myself. Because when the Foo and the spouse and other people hurt and let me down, I have myself, I have HP, I have my tools (getting a good workout...	Lyne	5	511	Jul 3, 2017 by Aline
	ODAT Reading 7-2-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 2 speaks about experiencing the joy of living. It points out that, new members are astonished to learn that many of the happiest people at the meeting were also burdened with a wall black despair. when they first found program . It was Al-Anon that brought the joy of livin...	hotrod	8	576	Jul 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Monday Morning Alanon Meeting in Progress (Preview) Please join us in the chatroom if you need a meeting. Our chair is Courage, our topics are GRATITUDE.. MAKING A LIST, AND OPEN ALANON TOPIC.	tiredtonite	1	295	Jul 3, 2017 by hotrod
	Hi I'm Back Again 2 Years Later (Preview) I haven't been on this board for quite some time. I reread my old post and the responses and unfortunately, I am insane (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results). My husband continues to relapse despite nearly dying from an overdose just over a year ago, and another overdo...	misterpiko	4	482	Jul 3, 2017 by Bo
	Step One. (Preview) My step one used to go like this: Admitted that I was powerless over xxxx and that my life had become unmanageable. Over the years I have put a lot of things in that middle frame- including alcoholism and addiction. Last night we had a 'chip night' with three grandkids, mum and dad... it was really good...	DavidG	10	583	Jul 2, 2017 by hotrod
	Checking out this Al-Anon thing. Not sure I want to go to a meeting. (Preview) Ive resisted the Al-Anon program for years. My attitude has always been, Im not the alcoholic, why do I need to go to meetings? Im not the one who screwed up our family. I am VERY angry and bitter. I know this and I just dont think theres anything wrong with that. I hate my ex and why shouldnt I? My stor...	Lu0519	21	628	Jul 2, 2017 by KT2015
	Overwhelmed with sadness (Preview) Well, My AH of almost 14 years came home drunk and very angry Friday morning (a week ago) because I wouldn't give him a ride home from the bar. I guess he ended up walking home and was fuming mad by the time he got there. He woke me up but when I layed back down to avoid the alcohol induced arguments he loved to g...	Dlove	21	2783	Jul 1, 2017 by jenmom
	Tired and sad after every exchange. (Preview) I've a fairly odd relationship with my mother, really. If I tried to explain it all, I'd probably break the forum by submitting too much text. Maybe the whole internet. Theres a lot of "stuff" from childhood that I used to think didn't bother me and actually, as I get older (and I hope healthier) it actua...	MissM	8	662	Jul 1, 2017 by Junenine
	I'm new and struggling (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and I'm hoping to find some support and maybe some helpful advice. I feel the need to share what got me here. My wife is an alcoholic. We have an 18 month old son. She ended up incarcerated after a violent altercation that landed me in the ER when our son was just over months old, yes a little o...	Daddy M	3	582	Jul 1, 2017 by Bo
	Why Is He Blaming Me? (Preview) As some of you know, I have left my alcoholic boyfriend of five years. it has been a roller coaster five years and I did give it my all by learning about the disease, going to Al-Anon, reading stuff, you name it. I probably should have left years ago, but insteadI I set boundaries and he finally went to AA an...	Aerin	15	564	Jul 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 1/7 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading is about criticism and it's effects- both the excessive criticism we might have received from others, and that which we bombard ourselves with, before recovery, at least. Self-criticism is often the by product of living with addiction and dysfunction, but it dep...	MissM	4	420	Jul 1, 2017 by Lyne
	People asking for advice (Preview) Hi all, I want to relate a recurring theme for me in the last 3 days. Its kind of funny how these things coincide, I think maybe my HP is trying to say something to me, but I'm at a loss. Something like 3 days ago my mom called me to ask for advice on how to better handle a situation with her A brother who had left w...	Aline	4	458	Jul 1, 2017 by mamalioness
	My HP thinks I'm special.... (Preview) This morning I decided to take in the morning meeting and as I drove down to the meeting site going in the direction of the ocean I drove into and thru a very large bright Triangle of light reminiscing of our logo. It was surrounded with very bright light and I felt spiritually comfortable with what I w...	Jerry F	10	521	Jun 30, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/30/17 (Preview) We are half way through another year - time goes so, so fast! Today's reading talks about prayer and praying. The writer shares a story about a small child repeated his ABC's over and over again. An adult comes upon the child, asking what he's doing/saying. The child suggests he's praying - when cor...	Iamhere	2	324	Jun 30, 2017 by Aline
	I do not know how to help my father (Preview) My father is very sick and no matter how many times my mother and I have tried to help, it always goes wrong. We need help, we do not know what to do anymore. He is physically sick because of the alcohol and he refuses to go to a doctor or get hemp or even admit that it's the alcohol that's causing him tofeel sic...	Oggymlad19	5	420	Jun 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 27 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about tradition 8 and that primarily our program is a non professional one that for the most part does not offer pay (or charge anyone) for its services. When I read this I think of the expression 'you get what you give' in the sense that the reward is in the giv...	yanksfan51	4	656	Jun 29, 2017 by DavidG
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 4 in recovery - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Al-Anon's guide to taking Step 4, Blue-print for Progress walks us through the process, and the writer shares that they had surprise at how many questions existed about Character assets! Over a...	Iamhere	10	511	Jun 29, 2017 by mamalioness
	My news and update (Preview) It has been a long time since I posted about myself here at MIP so here is an update... Next week I will complete my second year of studying person-centred counselling at University. I've loved the course and being in an environment full of learning and youth has invigorated my spirit. I even found ti...	milkwood	10	558	Jun 29, 2017 by KT2015
	Boundary, Let Go, What? (Preview) My AD calls me often. She doesn't drink every day, nor does she take too many anti-anxiety meds every day, so there are some days when she is somewhat rational. Her life/emotions are very chaotic, but she is starting to work a couple days a week (didn't work for years) and starting to make some progress...	lgnutah	10	656	Jun 29, 2017 by 2HP
	New here, looking for a supportive online community (Preview) Hey there, I'm new to this forum, but have been to Al-anon meetings IRL several times before. A little bit about me: I am new to this - "my alcoholic" and I have been together for 7 months. She has had various lengths of sobriety, with this being her first serious attempt being within the last 6 months, an...	brie925	8	464	Jun 29, 2017 by brie925
	Having the Conversation (Preview) Thank you all for reading this - and providing me a safe space to share. I have been through several unsteady years with my A. 7 total, about 5 of them with very deep lows. The last 2 have been particularly painful with at least 7-8 break up moments; although a break up never occurred. This spring I went on...	BreathingInAndOut	11	562	Jun 29, 2017 by KT2015
	6/28/17 C2C - Our Recovery (Preview) Today's author long saw the qualifier's disease in terms of how it affected her/his life, seeing the actions of the alcoholic as reflecting on them. In this way, the ups and downs of the alcoholic's recovery were taken personally.Looking back, the author identified the most important thing they le...	Enigmatic	9	436	Jun 28, 2017 by BreathingInAndOut
	Unable to let go of bitterness, anger and forgive her (Preview) Letting go of the bitterness/anger has been difficult for me. I just started counseling, F2F meetings and this forum. My AW is still in jail and I am not sure for how long--4th DUI/probation violation. She will be sentenced in early July. This is the fourth time in jail, and according to her, she wi...	T84	11	566	Jun 28, 2017 by Bo
	Very unpleasant to be made the butt of jokes in front of relatives (Preview) My husband had a love relationship with alcohol for almost 50 years, beginning in his teens. He never verbally acknowledged alcohol caused any problems despite being stopped and let go by police, arrested, being too drunk to go to the hospital when our children had accidents or serious illnesses,...	lgnutah	10	598	Jun 28, 2017 by KT2015
	6/26/17 C2C - Bitterness: An Option? (Preview) Today's page author realized that bitterness directed toward the qualifier was causing great self harm, and as with most things, concluded that there was a choice: Continue to carry bitterness based on blame and resentment, or change perspective and find peace. The author chose the latter, ackno...	Enigmatic	6	570	Jun 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Hello all. (Preview) Hello all. Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to join this group. I am brand new to it. I guess I wil just come out and say that I live with an alcoholic brother and can be very abusive sometimes. Im at the point of having to make moving decisions because of it. I dont want to move away from my elderly mom a...	Staci	11	678	Jun 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Now we wait!!!! (Preview) my dear sister was admitted to hospital last night cancer has spread to her liver and possibly other parts...this is NOT looking good...Thank you program for giving me the ability to reach out to her when I did back 2 years ago or whevenever it was because even tho I hurt like hell now, its better than to n...	mamalioness	7	453	Jun 27, 2017 by hotrod
	Emotional detachment and emotional sobriety (Preview) Sobriety for the alcoholic or drug addict is a simple standard...either you drank or you didn't. Either you used or you didn't. No debate, no discussion, very definitive, black and white, cut and dry. However, when we look at our sickness, our disease, where is the standard of sobriety. Is it an actio...	Bo	14	1394	Jun 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Hello I'm new here and I feel like I'm going crazy :( (Preview) Hello, I've never done anything like this before, but I need some support. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I've been married to my husband for 17 years. He is a major alcoholic. I have so many stories I want to share. I just need to know I came to the right place for a little support. I don't want to feel like I...	Kub	24	596	Jun 27, 2017 by Bo
	Need all the serenity I can get this week (Preview) Our youngest is marrying this weekend in another city. There will be a big wedding with numerous family and old friends coming from out of town. I am looking forward it. I want to keep my focus on all that is good and joyful. Of course-why else am I on this site?...... there is my AD (who lives 100 miles a...	lgnutah	11	583	Jun 27, 2017 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 6-25-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading June 25 speaks about my favorite Step-Step 11. The reading points out that the words of this step are extremely important,:" sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the pow...	hotrod	7	764	Jun 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Update (Preview) Hi Everyone I have been very busy lately working and taking it one day at a time. My sister passed out 3 weeks ago and her husband took her to the ER. They discovered her large intestines were leaking and have to take out 6 inches of her colon which in turn gave her a colostomy for the rest of her life. She wa...	Cathyinaz	11	606	Jun 26, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Step 9 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63689471/alanon-s...	hotrod	0	471	Jun 26, 2017 by hotrod
	To sit and just be...just watch. (Preview) My grand-son in law had a birthday celebration today and my grand-daughter made sure I was invited. What's it like to just sit and watch a multi-generational family get together and just have simple, sane fun without a smidgen of alcohol? Its not all about me. I sat and just watched the goings on....	Jerry F	9	532	Jun 26, 2017 by mamalioness
	Why is acceptance so hard? (Preview) Today I am going to a discharge planning meeting with my A and her therapist . My A has no concept, no understanding, and no interest, in planning her next helpers after a 6 week intensive day program. She only went because of me. So at this juncture it is up to her , and I think she will relapse rather qui...	Lyne	10	670	Jun 25, 2017 by Lyne
	Guilt but know I need to leave (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the boards but came for help. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 6 (half my life). We have a 2 year old and a surprise baby on the way due in october. Husband has been dealing with depression and alcohol abuse for a year and a half. He gets destructive in our home (bre...	Rach32986	9	590	Jun 25, 2017 by Mcat54
	A goodbye I won't miss out on (Preview) Hi everyone!! Several years back, I had a cousin who was mildly retarded and a lovely fellow and he absolutely worshipped me..I was his sweetheart...His favorite person and all he ever wanted of me was to love him and when I moved out of state, to write him when I could..People said he would run to the mai...	mamalioness	10	605	Jun 25, 2017 by mamalioness
	Surely it's not rocket science. (Preview) I'm grateful grateful for the doors of understanding and keys to action that alanon has given me. My current state of eye rolling rests in thinking that every bs drama can simply be explained as the byproduct of addiction. Its really not that complicated! I know enough now to resist the urge to force i...	a4l	5	451	Jun 25, 2017 by lookingup
	What healing feels like (Preview) It feels like freedom from despair and it feels like memories can be faced and felt with a new heart. Thinking about my kids when they were wee, how beautiful they were, their soft skin and the innocent faces, wouldn't it be nice to go back just for a moment and tell them I'm sorry for not being the Mother yo...	el-cee	7	548	Jun 24, 2017 by Jerry F
	Courage To Change 24/6 (Preview) Today's courage to change is about seeing our successes. It opens with a cute story which I will outline for anyone that doesn't have the reader- a farmer decides to encourage his hens to lay more eggs by playing the flute for them all day long. When he is asked if it was a success, he agrees that is was, be...	MissM	5	459	Jun 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Struggling to Make Decisions (Preview) I'm really struggling with making decisions right now. I started attending meetings twice a week a few months ago, but then a sudden illness has kept me away the past couple weeks. I'm still not 100% recovered and reminding myself that not feeling well is adding to my stress. I'm a year from retirement...	Lee51	6	521	Jun 24, 2017 by Enigmatic
	I'ts "Drunk Thursday," but at least I kept my sanity! (Preview) So, yea. Payday. In our house it's "Drunk Thursday." So the next couple of days are hard, but let's talk about ME! LOL! At my place of employment, I can see out a very large bay window. Were talking storefront large. My AH drives a BRIGHT yellow/orange work truck... it is literally impossible to miss. So...	PosiesandPuppies	7	654	Jun 24, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about honesty. Alcoholism, the family disease, brings about denial for almost all affected. To recover, heal and deal with our lives, we need to be truthful with ourselves as we continue to review our own attitudes and actions each day. This honest reflection allows us to be hu...	Iamhere	2	418	Jun 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	iritating (Preview) I am not sure what to title this yet because I just need to get it out. My AH was drinking yesterday he came home early from work and started drinking so by the time I got home he must have been intoxicated but I wasn't expecting it and so I didn't notice. Lately he has been trying to curb his drinking and man...	KT2015	8	605	Jun 23, 2017 by KT2015
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/22/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about how we learn to speak from our heart with our focus on self. Many of us come to recovery believing we are angry because of others or we are anxious because of others. We come to realize that when we blame others for how we feel, we give them power over our feelings, power that righ...	Iamhere	8	489	Jun 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Moving forward with my sober wife relationships (Preview) After living with my alcoholic wife for 10 years, I moved out of our shared home (rental) two and a half years ago. I initially bounced between sublets and a friend's house for one year, and then moved into my own one-bedroom apartment in Jan 2016. During that time my wife had 7-8 stays in residential t...	thos17	3	2639	Jun 23, 2017 by Mattie
	End of the Struggle (Preview) My father died today. I spoke with him yesterday and he was looking forward to my visit this weekend for Father's Day. There is a possibility that he had not actively been drinking for a week or two before he died, but the damage had already been done. I'm relieved that he is no longer suffering. I wis...	Mikhail	24	803	Jun 22, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Father's Day (Preview) My daughter turned to me today and said Mom I know the moment I was just done with dad .. and as done I was D was beyond done. It was Father's Day 3 years ago. That was the day my children reached out to their dad and asked him to spend Father's Day with him. He declined stating that his mother was sick and in t...	SerenityRUS	21	942	Jun 22, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	First meeting expectations (Preview) Hello, I WANT to go to my first f2f meeting but I always come up with excuses for why I can't...such as I don't like the time/day the meeting is at or who's going to take care of things at home if I'm not there or I'm tired/sick I'll go next week...you get the picture. Have I not hit my rock bottom yet? What...	Sadhana	11	468	Jun 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Photos, Memories, Downsizing, Musings.... (Preview) I started this morning bright and early - went to watch the two grand-babies for a while. Both parents started new jobs a couple weeks ago, and they just can't grasp the whole schedules, day-care, etc. so - I was asked and able to be of service. I went to their home as mine is clean for overnight company t...	Iamhere	7	492	Jun 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Detachment and other thoughts detachment detaching focus on me recovery (Preview) Hi all! Thoughtful today, and want to share my thoughts with you. I'm living on my own now for almost a month, having finally made a boundary with my abf that I'm going to live separately for 3 months, and after that time, if he is living sober and working on maintaining his sobriety, I will move back in. I h...	Aline	7	6642	Jun 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	6/21/17 C2C - Meditation (Preview) Step 12 begins "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God..." Today's page reassures any with concerns about meditation that it is nothing mysterious or otherworldly but a way to think thoughtfully, contemplatively in quiet moments. This is something we of...	Enigmatic	10	508	Jun 21, 2017 by hotrod
	The chaos continues (Preview) You all know how it goes. It's a little different for my ex-AH, because he's a binge drinker, so there are periods of calm. He was in one of those for a while, and he moved in with a friend and things seemed to be on an even keel. But then of course everything fell apart. I got word that the friend came home a...	Mattie	8	498	Jun 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Usual teen isims vs family disease... (Preview) At my wits end with my 15yr old. Between her funky mood swings and all that goes with having a teen girl and the isims of the family disease I am truly at a lost for what is real and what is just teen BS. Twice today she did what I felt was blaming me for the decisions she makes..." I only did it because you did tha...	Hopefull15	9	523	Jun 21, 2017 by Hopefull15
	Accepting Reality/Loving What Is (Preview) or... accepting what is. So as advised, I have been attending Alanon meetings and taking care of myself.My ex is in her first year and half of recovery - she broke it off with me in a particularly brutal, unilateral way that took me completely by surprise. When people are in pain they cause pain. She sim...	Bailey71	5	677	Jun 21, 2017 by Junenine
	I Left, I really left (Preview) Just left today. :( Even though abf is still in AA and doing well, he is still very selfish in real life and the things that have been mentally and physically done to me over the past 5 years have never really left me. He seems to forget the hitting me and breaking my ribs. Obviously I am super co-dependan...	Aerin	23	695	Jun 21, 2017 by Junenine
	Still In Love With My Alcoholic Ex (Preview) My ex fiance and I were together for 5 years, then broke up for a year, then got back together for 6 month, then I finally called it quits. What ended the relationship after all that time and everything he put me through, was that while we broke up for a year (and yes I did date someone else during that time...	Mother of Poodles	16	2855	Jun 20, 2017 by Bo
	Prayers for me & my mom. (Preview) Today I sit here concerned for my sanity. My mom has been running again. I just want to see her & give her a hug. I am grateful that she is in town at least. The reason I am concerned for myself is because I don't know if I can handle any more. I have used tough love until it has made me sick.	Hoot Nanny	3	569	Jun 20, 2017 by wp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.