The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I apologize for the late posting today- I am away from home and it took me a bit to figure out how to log in to the site!
Today's reading is a focus on how alcoholism impacts intimacy and sexuality. As I read this it was a reminder for me about how pervasive the disease is and the effects it has on us in all areas of life, really.
I think I have experienced the confusion between physical and romantic love with what I really need spiritually, and have also thought about somehow missing out if I were not physically involved with another. What I have noticed more recently is that my connection to Hp is a higher plane of love and intimacy
I do think that my experiences with connection with others have been skewed because of growing up with and later living with alcoholic behavior. The phrase in this reading that stands out to me is 'damaging perceptions'. I know that I have had those about myself AND others. I am continuing to work on all of this with the help of my HP and the program.
i hope everyone enjoys their day- I am considering what it means to be independent on Independence Day. For me it's remembering that I am walking w my HP and working the program to continue to enjoy freedom.
Good morning Mary - thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH! Prayers for safe travels and a lovely holiday! I love that you pulled out 'damaging perceptions'. It took me a while to clear my brain fog and understand that much of what I thought was happening 'to me' truly was not. I took everything personally - even getting angry at my HP for the chaos, insanity and drama brought about by living with the disease.
My sponsor once asked me to take a look at a situation that I found very frustrating/painful.....she then suggested I imagine that same situation, with me removed. Would anything change? Would the situation and outcome be different? She was trying to have me realize that drama, chaos, insanity and more happen with this disease, and if it weren't me in the perceived hot seat, it would be another as others are going to do what they are going to do.
She also suggested that the visual removal of me from the discomfort zone could be my reality when I decide that's what I need to do. We went on discuss actually departing from 'it' as well as a spiritual departure - suggesting I could stay in my seat and change my outlook/attitude. This helped me realize that all I could change in most situations was me, my outlook, my presence and/or my attitude. I could not change another, their words, their emotions, etc.
I had spent a lifetime trying to figure out why these 'things' were happening 'to me' when in fact they were just happening - it was my own view or perception that added me into the event. Years of living with the disease warped my ability to see things for what they are and practice in recovery helps me see what truly is instead of what is + what I add between the lines.
We have a huge rain shower that is moving in/through right now. I am happy for that as we need it!!! I have no grand plans for today and I'm happy to just chill. May your day be great and your joy over the top! (((hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I really need spiritually, and have also thought about somehow missing out if I were not physically involved with another. What I have noticed more recently is that my connection to Hp is a higher plane of love and intimacy
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Good Morning Mary, I love the above thought as I too Have experienced a deeper connection with the God of my understanding and feel supported and loved by that Power as we walk through this world, side-by-side.
I could also identify the concept of a" faulty perceptions"-- as I and many of these.
Working the fourth and fifth step, I discovered that I always thought I was right, and had unrealistic expectations of others, gave love conditionally, and was insincere in my friendships. The steps helped me to see this, own it, and then witness the removal of these negative attitudes and be so pleased to find that the negative was covering up my positive self-- compassion, empathy and unconditional love where there all along. Growing up with this disease. I have learned to cover them up out of fear.
Love the concept of exploring "Independence on the 4th. I found that I can be" Interdependent"on others as we walk side by side and then dependent on HP for guidance . that works for me
Thank you for your service, Mary. Late? Not at all! I posted from the wrong day yesterday. You're doing great, especially on the road on a holiday!
I am finding there is no area that is not affected by the disease. It's like a warm soda that explodes in the car: I think I have it all cleaned up, but I will continue to find 'sticky' forever. It is truly pervasive...so grateful for the program and guidance to reshape my dangerous perceptions
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
