Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

LOL .. there is a story here and it made me LOL to myself today. Way back in early, early pre alanon, right at the beginning of my journey with alanon. My XAH and I lived on a farm. It wasn't ours .. we were renting. Landlords lived next door .. they were fun .. NOT. My XAH decided he was going to build a wi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't know if any MIP Family member shared this survey questionnaire before however it was just shared with me and I felt it might be helpful here. Takes about 20 minutes to fill out and is very supportive and informative. If you don't want to ...not and issue... just for those who are supportive w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am seriously struggling to keep my big fat mouth shut and it is a challenge in ways that would boggle the mind at this point. I am frustrated with the people in my life, ALL of them .. LOL .. I have hormones screaming and honestly it is surprising I haven't acted out worse than I have at the moment. Mostly...

ling · ling

Hi not sure if I'm posting this right as I'm a bit technophobic. To put in picture briefly I'm in dilemma as I can't sit and watch him drink (he doesnt want siezures - hes had three) and i can't stand it and don't want to be controlled when to go out. Where to on tap? We have no children (he has) and I have no fami...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi all, my AH and I are separated he lives with his parents. We have 2 dogs and he comes to visit them and walk them frequently, I have been very reasonable in allowing him to do this considering how badly he has treated myself and the kids. However on every visit I never know what mood he is going to be in, we h...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - happy Thursday. Today's Quote from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism --- "For me, alcoholism has proven to be a bittersweet legacy - bitter, because of the pain I suffered, and sweet, because if it weren't for that pain, I wouldn't have searched for and found a better way of living." Today'...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, Where is the line that goes from compulsive liar to addiction based lies? I have tried to post this a few times today and have been embarrassed to ask. The AF in my life has a horrific lying issue. It totally blows my mind andnnnn sets me on edge more than when she relapses. No honesty=no relations...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been awhile since I've posted here, but I do still read this board every now and then (usually right around my Al-Anon anniversary, which will be 9 years in February). Just wanted to share that life is good, and certainly that is an understatement compared to 9 years ago when I walked into my first A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to give y'all an update on my mom. She is getting guardianship from the state. I will not be responsible for her. It is now out of my hands. I thank HP for looking out for her. Some might think it isharsh including family members. I just need to know that I am doing the right thing. She us very ill. ...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Hi I have a friend whose husband's alcoholism is progressing, but they are both in denial about it. I am watching the illness worsen, as it always does, with his behavior growing more and more destructive. I am familiar with alcoholism as both my parents and various family members are alcoholics. I'm...

CarlyH · CarlyH

hi, ive posted some grim depressive stuff on here since October. my Relationship with Ex came to An abrupt end and it wasnt my choice and I found it hard. Massively hard. I had self doubt no confidence and I was broken the fact they wouldnt speak or acknowledgw or show any remorse was probably the most...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi all, I just have something I really want to share and I hope that by letting it go here, I can start to move on. I am flooded with self-doubt and self hate at the moment. I posted in an earlier post about deciding to go to my home country to be with my family during the time when my husband is in his 8 month r...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about breaking the cycle of worry and fear. The author shares that when they focus on worry and fear, their thoughts can become obsessive, they can become relentlessly critical of themselves, and lose the ability to accomplish anything useful. F...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I have been working through the "Blueprint for Progress" booklet and I am not sure if it's because of that or what, but I woke up this morning with this thought... I have been having a hard time with blaming my spouse for the end of our 29 year marriage. While it is true that the alcoholism and addictive beh...

jessiefred86 · jessiefred86

My... boyfriend (?) and I met a little over a year ago at the beginning of a relapse for him. Of course, the depth of his addiction were not known to me until we were too far gone, so to speak. 2 rehabs and a heat layer and here we are. Heâs been sober for a longer period of time than Iâve ever known him to be, and I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am just posting to update now & then. I am not in any crisis I have to tell myself. If only my mom wasn't. From what I am getting, she is now AWOL. I have yet to hear from her. She hasn't called or I haven't gotten a call. I guess this affects me in 3 ways: I am grateful I am not her, I am saddened of she being mi...

Carmine · Carmine

I have been working for four years with a group of people on publishing a book. The book launch is next month. I would very much love to be there. Last month my AH said I should go. Today, just out of the blue, he says I have no business going to that event, no one needs me there. I said nothing. Did not ask for an...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 9 speaks about how confusing and disturbing,living with the disease of alcoholism can be. It suggests that often we reject God and the help we can receive . Without the God of our understanding going it alone only makes matters worse. When we finally see that going it ...

Twinkies · Twinkies

11 days sober for AH and I feel like Iâm the one about to crack. Thereâs been very little communication between us aside from general pleasantries until Friday, when we did have a real conversation - nothing alcohol related. Then back to nothing much yesterday. Thereâs a huge wall between us and even t...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

For about the last 6 months, I have been attending 5 or 6 alanon meetings a week. I go to the meetings, but didn't get a sponsor and rarely share. I just listen. The weather where I live has gotten really icy and snowy, with temperatures well below zero. About a month ago, I started using the weather as an ex...

lookingup · lookingup

ive been searching all over for me an apartment,I live in a house I rent right now been looking for a change , and im so excited to say I've finally found where I want to go,for some here remember me downsizing for a long time now, pits finally happening ,the way it came about was strange is why I know without...

Tude · Tude

It's been so long since I worked the 12 Steps, I had forgotten the hidden things they can bring up. I was of course, focusing on all the things that were driving me crazy when I came back into Al-anon. Those things that are buried, bring up pain, embarrassment,anxiety and all sorts of just yuk surfaced!...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I just want to share and leave this here that I have a lot of fear surrounding the coming transition. I have to speak to our land lord today. I am ready to pay the lease as long as it takes to find a new tennant and I want to uphold my contractual obligations but I am fearful about him being angry at me and I stil...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am very sorry about trying something new that I didn't know I did & appreciate Betty for drawing attention to it. It was so nice of her to mention in a post. I am so grateful that pencil have erasers. Much more to post about my mom. She is out the hands of the county we live in & probably won't be seen...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I havnt seen my XAH in 2 years. Yet I use Alanon principles everyday. I love and live with a wonderful guy who happens to be a hoarder and has his share of anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. It is a challenging relationship and we have the usual misunderstandings. However, at the beginning we set rules o...

Lee51 · Lee51

I haven't posted in awhile, but have been attending meetings when I can, though do not yet have a sponsor. For awhile I thought I was gaining some ground, but am starting to wonder if I was just kidding myself. The holiday was a bad one for me with family scattered across the country, the anniversary of my...

larust93 · larust93

Hello, Recently my mom moved back to the state she is from. She is now with her sisters and brothers and parents. I recently got married and I live in the same state too, just trying to finish my last semester of university. I am struggling because my mom causes me a lot of stress. She has always had an issue...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- I hope you are all are warm and comfortable... the temp in my corner of the world is currently a balmy -7 Fahrenheit:) Todays reading is a focus on our saying about the three Cs: I didnt cause it, I cant control it, and I cant cure it. I have always appreciated the message of this sayi...

Lyne · Lyne

Let go and let God: Today's reading talks about the empowerment we can truly feel, when we accept that we are powerless over the alcoholic and all her problems. The writer understood that his alcoholic had her own Higher Power, and that HP and the A could work out her life circumstances. The writer...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Very long 72 hours, there have been lots of arguments, crying, and tantrums (oddly enough not from me!!). I sure did pull from my tool box and really tried to focus on the fact we didn't know anything until Thursday. At the moment my kid has lost adult status. I do not believe that just because someone...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is a truism that keeps coming back to me in cycles throughout my recovery. I get so caught up in what is going on around me in my job, personal life and other areas (mostly job these days), that I forget none of my hardships are really things being done "to" me so that I can suffer. None of my challenge...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi!! and belated Happy New Year!!! Well I began the new year with the flu...congestion/infected sinuses and chest...I was thrashed.....Feeling a bit better each day, but its slow... I could complain, feel like the victim, feel like "oh another bad year" but EVERYONE I know has either gotten it or...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends, I wanted to ask your ESH about making decisions early on in recovery. I know that it is advised not to make major decisions during the first 6 months of recovery. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to get that choice. I am going to have to make some decisions, because my husband has bee...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Sitting with something that happened. I thought I would share, see what I get back... So last Friday evening, my spouse called me at work from rehab. I did not answer as I can't while I am at work. The message was that he got some official kind of document and he had all these questions about what it was. He a...

nyan23 · nyan23

Hi guys, I've been reading the step one to al anon. I fully agree that alcoholism is a disease, has affected me and my family in many ways which are negative and that I cannot control or change my A. However, I'm struggling with the higher power bit. When I was young I went extremely spiritual and after...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 6.reminds us that attending Al-Anon meetings helps us to see that we are not alone and that others have problems that are equally as difficult. When we begin to realize that others have problems more difficult than our own, and are facing them with courage and confiden...

kayS · kayS

My husband is an addict (alcohol and opiates). He's yet to truly go into recovery. He's trying - has some white knuckle periods - but nothing too much more than that. I've been in regular individual therapy regarding this for approx. 3 years now. We've discussed couple's therapy - he and I. I k...

Twinkies · Twinkies

Hello everyone - been reading lots of posts from lots of people on lots of forums lately. You all seem like such a warm and welcoming group that I thought Iâd jump in and introduce myself. Iâm still pretty new to practicing the mindset that Alanon prescribes but I can already tell a difference in my life....

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Hoot Nanny ~*Service Worker*~ Status: OfflinePosts: 1425Date: 2h agoIP: 199.253.26.6she's in jail again plus 32 years in al anonPermalink Reply Quote More I am again posting that my mom is in jail. Maybe I didn't post this before it has been a...

Lindajean · Lindajean

I have not posted in awhile but need to vent. I am very familiar with the Alanon program and try my best to work it. However, My anger and resentment are taking a major hold on me. My 54 year old alcoholic sister is living with my 80 year old mother. I live next door to my mother and witness so much enabling and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses compassion, enabling and motives. The writer thought it was defined by making excuses for the alcoholic or covering for them when bad choices were made. We learn that this is enabling instead of compassion and that when we clean up the consequences of alcoholic behavio...

Twinkies · Twinkies

Just got a message from our cell provider that my AH is tracking my phone! What in the actual heck?! Iâm totally thrown by this. First, he has zero reason to suspect me of cheating. ZERO. Iâm an all-in kind of woman. When I made my commitment to him, that was it. Unless divorce or death divides us, there wil...

Buff · Buff

Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm very much at the start of trying to get some help and support as I feel we are getting to be in crises. My oldest son is alcohol dependant, he is 21, I would say this has been the case for 3 years. He has a good job and to most functions very well. He drinks every day, whatever he can g...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

My AH has been back in the house now almost two months. But I have no idea who this man is anymore. For a brief time when he first came back he made an honest effort to try to and stay sober ( a lot like a child after grounding them for a messy room and they attempt to keep it clean!) Of course it didn't last long. A...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Going to start with the daily reminder --- Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life. The quote for the day --- from T...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, We've had a lady on our property a couple years. She moved here to get away from her environment and get help. She was found unresponsive before she decided to get away from the area she was in. The conditions for her living here were to make recovery meetings of whatever she chose. (This was part...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This has now become an inside joke with some friends and I. It's now my new catch phrase. Something that made me laugh is talking to my gentleman fellow coffee groupie is exchanging stories at the moment about kids. Hearing the phrase "I got this" seems to have a similar effect on those of us with kids...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, a while ago I asked my AH to leave and stay with his parents as me and my children didn't feel comfortable with him being there. Not only is he an alcoholic but also a cocaine addict. Things had become abusive and I didn't want my children in that atmosphere. AH has been to rehab and has been supposedly c...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP, and Happy Wednesday! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about making little change each and every day. The author shares that they are writing their life story every single today, and asks "Am I moving in a positive direction?" The author knows that there is nothing we can do to chang...

CarlyH · CarlyH

After months of hardly any contact and then avoiding me, living with someone else it looks like I might finally get some closure. Iâve looked at my own behaviour a lot whilst Iâve been away from them. Iâve held back on my love a lot when theyâve started drinking. Pushed them away. Thereâs been too ma...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband is in rehab now... I can't contact him. Feeling strangely numb. Feeling sad. But also relieved. I feel safer and more comfortable in my home now.

Twinkies · Twinkies

6 days is such a short amount of time, but itâs the longest I can remember AH not drinking. Way too soon to even consider that it might be the start of a new normal. Heâs still acting oddly - thereâs a wall between us, but this time itâs a wall he put up, not one of my own making, not one I put up to try to shield mys...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! With the New Year, I am beginning to post a Step a month for this year. So in light of this Step one and has been posted...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

We're doing out best to try to stay present now that things are winding down after Christmas. At least this year we didn't hear any bombshell news on the holiday. Every year seems to be pretty much the same. A visit from his kids and then limited communication, getting together until Father's day. They...

Twinkies · Twinkies

The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Windmills (Preview) LOL .. there is a story here and it made me LOL to myself today. Way back in early, early pre alanon, right at the beginning of my journey with alanon. My XAH and I lived on a farm. It wasn't ours .. we were renting. Landlords lived next door .. they were fun .. NOT. My XAH decided he was going to build a wi...	SerenityRUS	4	702	Jan 13, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Al-Anon Survey (Preview) I don't know if any MIP Family member shared this survey questionnaire before however it was just shared with me and I felt it might be helpful here. Takes about 20 minutes to fill out and is very supportive and informative. If you don't want to ...not and issue... just for those who are supportive w...	Jerry F	6	1636	Jan 12, 2018 by lookingup
	Can't keep my mouth shut .. (Preview) I am seriously struggling to keep my big fat mouth shut and it is a challenge in ways that would boggle the mind at this point. I am frustrated with the people in my life, ALL of them .. LOL .. I have hormones screaming and honestly it is surprising I haven't acted out worse than I have at the moment. Mostly...	SerenityRUS	11	1037	Jan 12, 2018 by serenity47
	new to this (Preview) Hi not sure if I'm posting this right as I'm a bit technophobic. To put in picture briefly I'm in dilemma as I can't sit and watch him drink (he doesnt want siezures - hes had three) and i can't stand it and don't want to be controlled when to go out. Where to on tap? We have no children (he has) and I have no fami...	ling	10	892	Jan 12, 2018 by ling
	There are no winners (Preview) Hi all, my AH and I are separated he lives with his parents. We have 2 dogs and he comes to visit them and walk them frequently, I have been very reasonable in allowing him to do this considering how badly he has treated myself and the kids. However on every visit I never know what mood he is going to be in, we h...	allywoo	7	787	Jan 12, 2018 by AnnieFenk321
	Courage to Change 1/11/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP - happy Thursday. Today's Quote from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism --- "For me, alcoholism has proven to be a bittersweet legacy - bitter, because of the pain I suffered, and sweet, because if it weren't for that pain, I wouldn't have searched for and found a better way of living." Today'...	Iamhere	5	717	Jan 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	Honesty....this may be naive or just plain ignorant! (Preview) Hi all, Where is the line that goes from compulsive liar to addiction based lies? I have tried to post this a few times today and have been embarrassed to ask. The AF in my life has a horrific lying issue. It totally blows my mind andnnnn sets me on edge more than when she relapses. No honesty=no relations...	Tude	7	913	Jan 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	Dropping By to Say Hi (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted here, but I do still read this board every now and then (usually right around my Al-Anon anniversary, which will be 9 years in February). Just wanted to share that life is good, and certainly that is an understatement compared to 9 years ago when I walked into my first A...	Green Eyes	5	745	Jan 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	real quick update (Preview) I just want to give y'all an update on my mom. She is getting guardianship from the state. I will not be responsible for her. It is now out of my hands. I thank HP for looking out for her. Some might think it isharsh including family members. I just need to know that I am doing the right thing. She us very ill. ...	Hoot Nanny	2	668	Jan 11, 2018 by Lyne
	what would have helped you? (Preview) Hi I have a friend whose husband's alcoholism is progressing, but they are both in denial about it. I am watching the illness worsen, as it always does, with his behavior growing more and more destructive. I am familiar with alcoholism as both my parents and various family members are alcoholics. I'm...	hiraeth	7	832	Jan 11, 2018 by hiraeth
	Focusing on you for a change (Preview) hi, ive posted some grim depressive stuff on here since October. my Relationship with Ex came to An abrupt end and it wasnt my choice and I found it hard. Massively hard. I had self doubt no confidence and I was broken the fact they wouldnt speak or acknowledgw or show any remorse was probably the most...	CarlyH	5	710	Jan 10, 2018 by Jerry F
	I am having a really hard time! :( (Preview) Hi all, I just have something I really want to share and I hope that by letting it go here, I can start to move on. I am flooded with self-doubt and self hate at the moment. I posted in an earlier post about deciding to go to my home country to be with my family during the time when my husband is in his 8 month r...	AnnieFenk321	6	803	Jan 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change January 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about breaking the cycle of worry and fear. The author shares that when they focus on worry and fear, their thoughts can become obsessive, they can become relentlessly critical of themselves, and lose the ability to accomplish anything useful. F...	Skorpi	8	1411	Jan 10, 2018 by DavidG
	Insight on leaving my spouse (Preview) I have been working through the "Blueprint for Progress" booklet and I am not sure if it's because of that or what, but I woke up this morning with this thought... I have been having a hard time with blaming my spouse for the end of our 29 year marriage. While it is true that the alcoholism and addictive beh...	PosiesandPuppies	9	878	Jan 10, 2018 by Enigmatic
	Post-rehab relationship (Preview) My... boyfriend (?) and I met a little over a year ago at the beginning of a relapse for him. Of course, the depth of his addiction were not known to me until we were too far gone, so to speak. 2 rehabs and a heat layer and here we are. Heâs been sober for a longer period of time than Iâve ever known him to be, and I...	jessiefred86	4	689	Jan 10, 2018 by Tude
	just like to post (Preview) I am just posting to update now & then. I am not in any crisis I have to tell myself. If only my mom wasn't. From what I am getting, she is now AWOL. I have yet to hear from her. She hasn't called or I haven't gotten a call. I guess this affects me in 3 ways: I am grateful I am not her, I am saddened of she being mi...	Hoot Nanny	5	698	Jan 10, 2018 by Jerry F
	Not allowed to go to a book launch! (Preview) I have been working for four years with a group of people on publishing a book. The book launch is next month. I would very much love to be there. Last month my AH said I should go. Today, just out of the blue, he says I have no business going to that event, no one needs me there. I said nothing. Did not ask for an...	Carmine	6	804	Jan 10, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	ODAT Reading 1-9-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 9 speaks about how confusing and disturbing,living with the disease of alcoholism can be. It suggests that often we reject God and the help we can receive . Without the God of our understanding going it alone only makes matters worse. When we finally see that going it ...	hotrod	4	743	Jan 9, 2018 by mamalioness
	Walking on eggshells (Preview) 11 days sober for AH and I feel like Iâm the one about to crack. Thereâs been very little communication between us aside from general pleasantries until Friday, when we did have a real conversation - nothing alcohol related. Then back to nothing much yesterday. Thereâs a huge wall between us and even t...	Twinkies	9	949	Jan 9, 2018 by sad_dog_mommy
	Help! (Preview) For about the last 6 months, I have been attending 5 or 6 alanon meetings a week. I go to the meetings, but didn't get a sponsor and rarely share. I just listen. The weather where I live has gotten really icy and snowy, with temperatures well below zero. About a month ago, I started using the weather as an ex...	Buckeye Girl	5	704	Jan 9, 2018 by hotrod
	Great news (Preview) ive been searching all over for me an apartment,I live in a house I rent right now been looking for a change , and im so excited to say I've finally found where I want to go,for some here remember me downsizing for a long time now, pits finally happening ,the way it came about was strange is why I know without...	lookingup	10	702	Jan 9, 2018 by Tude
	Trusting the process (Preview) It's been so long since I worked the 12 Steps, I had forgotten the hidden things they can bring up. I was of course, focusing on all the things that were driving me crazy when I came back into Al-anon. Those things that are buried, bring up pain, embarrassment,anxiety and all sorts of just yuk surfaced!...	Tude	12	752	Jan 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	fears and dealing with my mother (Preview) I just want to share and leave this here that I have a lot of fear surrounding the coming transition. I have to speak to our land lord today. I am ready to pay the lease as long as it takes to find a new tennant and I want to uphold my contractual obligations but I am fearful about him being angry at me and I stil...	AnnieFenk321	7	719	Jan 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	sorry about the business section mistake (Preview) I am very sorry about trying something new that I didn't know I did & appreciate Betty for drawing attention to it. It was so nice of her to mention in a post. I am so grateful that pencil have erasers. Much more to post about my mom. She is out the hands of the county we live in & probably won't be seen...	Hoot Nanny	2	556	Jan 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	New Year update (Preview) I havnt seen my XAH in 2 years. Yet I use Alanon principles everyday. I love and live with a wonderful guy who happens to be a hoarder and has his share of anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. It is a challenging relationship and we have the usual misunderstandings. However, at the beginning we set rules o...	YARNCRAZY	4	553	Jan 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Nowhere to go (Preview) I haven't posted in awhile, but have been attending meetings when I can, though do not yet have a sponsor. For awhile I thought I was gaining some ground, but am starting to wonder if I was just kidding myself. The holiday was a bad one for me with family scattered across the country, the anniversary of my...	Lee51	12	3236	Jan 8, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	How to deal with a alcoholic parent who has an untreated traumatic brain injury? (Preview) Hello, Recently my mom moved back to the state she is from. She is now with her sisters and brothers and parents. I recently got married and I live in the same state too, just trying to finish my last semester of university. I am struggling because my mom causes me a lot of stress. She has always had an issue...	larust93	10	806	Jan 8, 2018 by Jerry F
	Jan 7 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning everyone- I hope you are all are warm and comfortable... the temp in my corner of the world is currently a balmy -7 Fahrenheit:) Todays reading is a focus on our saying about the three Cs: I didnt cause it, I cant control it, and I cant cure it. I have always appreciated the message of this sayi...	yanksfan51	9	875	Jan 8, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 1/8 (Preview) Let go and let God: Today's reading talks about the empowerment we can truly feel, when we accept that we are powerless over the alcoholic and all her problems. The writer understood that his alcoholic had her own Higher Power, and that HP and the A could work out her life circumstances. The writer...	Lyne	6	676	Jan 8, 2018 by Aline
	Parenting 101 (Preview) Very long 72 hours, there have been lots of arguments, crying, and tantrums (oddly enough not from me!!). I sure did pull from my tool box and really tried to focus on the fact we didn't know anything until Thursday. At the moment my kid has lost adult status. I do not believe that just because someone...	SerenityRUS	11	721	Jan 8, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	It's not being done "to" me (Preview) This is a truism that keeps coming back to me in cycles throughout my recovery. I get so caught up in what is going on around me in my job, personal life and other areas (mostly job these days), that I forget none of my hardships are really things being done "to" me so that I can suffer. None of my challenge...	pinkchip	29	7451	Jan 8, 2018 by milkwood
	I'm here----been sick (Preview) Hi!! and belated Happy New Year!!! Well I began the new year with the flu...congestion/infected sinuses and chest...I was thrashed.....Feeling a bit better each day, but its slow... I could complain, feel like the victim, feel like "oh another bad year" but EVERYONE I know has either gotten it or...	mamalioness	3	625	Jan 7, 2018 by Jerry F
	Making decisions? (Preview) Hi friends, I wanted to ask your ESH about making decisions early on in recovery. I know that it is advised not to make major decisions during the first 6 months of recovery. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to get that choice. I am going to have to make some decisions, because my husband has bee...	AnnieFenk321	7	888	Jan 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	1 step forward, 2 steps back (Preview) Sitting with something that happened. I thought I would share, see what I get back... So last Friday evening, my spouse called me at work from rehab. I did not answer as I can't while I am at work. The message was that he got some official kind of document and he had all these questions about what it was. He a...	PosiesandPuppies	11	760	Jan 7, 2018 by Maresie
	struggling with 'higher power' (Preview) Hi guys, I've been reading the step one to al anon. I fully agree that alcoholism is a disease, has affected me and my family in many ways which are negative and that I cannot control or change my A. However, I'm struggling with the higher power bit. When I was young I went extremely spiritual and after...	nyan23	26	4756	Jan 7, 2018 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 1-6-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 6.reminds us that attending Al-Anon meetings helps us to see that we are not alone and that others have problems that are equally as difficult. When we begin to realize that others have problems more difficult than our own, and are facing them with courage and confiden...	hotrod	3	797	Jan 6, 2018 by Tigger
	when to try couples counseling (Preview) My husband is an addict (alcohol and opiates). He's yet to truly go into recovery. He's trying - has some white knuckle periods - but nothing too much more than that. I've been in regular individual therapy regarding this for approx. 3 years now. We've discussed couple's therapy - he and I. I k...	kayS	14	3440	Jan 6, 2018 by Lil99
	Newbie introduction (Preview) Hello everyone - been reading lots of posts from lots of people on lots of forums lately. You all seem like such a warm and welcoming group that I thought Iâd jump in and introduce myself. Iâm still pretty new to practicing the mindset that Alanon prescribes but I can already tell a difference in my life....	Twinkies	13	3562	Jan 5, 2018 by Jen61
	Post moved from the Business section Posting from Hoot Nanny (Preview) Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Hoot Nanny ~Service Worker~ Status: OfflinePosts: 1425Date: 2h agoIP: 199.253.26.6she's in jail again plus 32 years in al anonPermalink Reply Quote More I am again posting that my mom is in jail. Maybe I didn't post this before it has been a...	hotrod	3	608	Jan 5, 2018 by Jerry F
	Anger and resentment (Preview) I have not posted in awhile but need to vent. I am very familiar with the Alanon program and try my best to work it. However, My anger and resentment are taking a major hold on me. My 54 year old alcoholic sister is living with my 80 year old mother. I live next door to my mother and witness so much enabling and...	Lindajean	7	1082	Jan 5, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change 1/5/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses compassion, enabling and motives. The writer thought it was defined by making excuses for the alcoholic or covering for them when bad choices were made. We learn that this is enabling instead of compassion and that when we clean up the consequences of alcoholic behavio...	Iamhere	4	610	Jan 5, 2018 by hotrod
	Not sure what to make of this (Preview) Just got a message from our cell provider that my AH is tracking my phone! What in the actual heck?! Iâm totally thrown by this. First, he has zero reason to suspect me of cheating. ZERO. Iâm an all-in kind of woman. When I made my commitment to him, that was it. Unless divorce or death divides us, there wil...	Twinkies	7	650	Jan 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hi, in new (Preview) Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm very much at the start of trying to get some help and support as I feel we are getting to be in crises. My oldest son is alcohol dependant, he is 21, I would say this has been the case for 3 years. He has a good job and to most functions very well. He drinks every day, whatever he can g...	Buff	7	896	Jan 4, 2018 by Tigger
	and again.......... (Preview) My AH has been back in the house now almost two months. But I have no idea who this man is anymore. For a brief time when he first came back he made an honest effort to try to and stay sober ( a lot like a child after grounding them for a messy room and they attempt to keep it clean!) Of course it didn't last long. A...	Curlyblu	3	2083	Jan 4, 2018 by Takotsubo
	Courage to Change 1/4/18 (Preview) Going to start with the daily reminder --- Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life. The quote for the day --- from T...	Iamhere	4	635	Jan 4, 2018 by Lyne
	Boundary help? (Preview) Hi all, We've had a lady on our property a couple years. She moved here to get away from her environment and get help. She was found unresponsive before she decided to get away from the area she was in. The conditions for her living here were to make recovery meetings of whatever she chose. (This was part...	Tude	4	672	Jan 4, 2018 by Tude
	I got this .. (Preview) This has now become an inside joke with some friends and I. It's now my new catch phrase. Something that made me laugh is talking to my gentleman fellow coffee groupie is exchanging stories at the moment about kids. Hearing the phrase "I got this" seems to have a similar effect on those of us with kids...	SerenityRUS	6	687	Jan 3, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Am I in the wrong? (Preview) Hi, a while ago I asked my AH to leave and stay with his parents as me and my children didn't feel comfortable with him being there. Not only is he an alcoholic but also a cocaine addict. Things had become abusive and I didn't want my children in that atmosphere. AH has been to rehab and has been supposedly c...	allywoo	7	674	Jan 3, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change January 3 (Preview) Hello MIP, and Happy Wednesday! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about making little change each and every day. The author shares that they are writing their life story every single today, and asks "Am I moving in a positive direction?" The author knows that there is nothing we can do to chang...	Skorpi	7	1052	Jan 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	End of relationship - closure (Preview) After months of hardly any contact and then avoiding me, living with someone else it looks like I might finally get some closure. Iâve looked at my own behaviour a lot whilst Iâve been away from them. Iâve held back on my love a lot when theyâve started drinking. Pushed them away. Thereâs been too ma...	CarlyH	3	618	Jan 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	husband checked into rehab today (Preview) My husband is in rehab now... I can't contact him. Feeling strangely numb. Feeling sad. But also relieved. I feel safer and more comfortable in my home now.	AnnieFenk321	5	661	Jan 3, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	6 days, no alcohol (Preview) 6 days is such a short amount of time, but itâs the longest I can remember AH not drinking. Way too soon to even consider that it might be the start of a new normal. Heâs still acting oddly - thereâs a wall between us, but this time itâs a wall he put up, not one of my own making, not one I put up to try to shield mys...	Twinkies	2	622	Jan 3, 2018 by KT2015
	Step one (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! With the New Year, I am beginning to post a Step a month for this year. So in light of this Step one and has been posted...	hotrod	4	743	Jan 3, 2018 by Freetime
	Post Holiday Blues (Preview) We're doing out best to try to stay present now that things are winding down after Christmas. At least this year we didn't hear any bombshell news on the holiday. Every year seems to be pretty much the same. A visit from his kids and then limited communication, getting together until Father's day. They...	tiredtonite	8	740	Jan 3, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Sober can be scary too (Preview) The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...	Twinkies	4	946	Jan 3, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Discuss with me 'Jeckyl and Hyde" (Preview) My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...	andromeda	14	3439	Jan 2, 2018 by LinSC
	Al ANON HELP FOR SEVERE ANXIETY (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...	Charlotte22	16	4832	Jan 2, 2018 by SoggySlippers
	ODAT Reading 1-2-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...	hotrod	5	2688	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	About Guilt (Preview) I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...	PosiesandPuppies	12	3877	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	Lost my alcoholic husband this past spring. (Preview) Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...	Bloodshotbetty	11	2874	Jan 1, 2018 by Bloodshotbetty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.