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Post Info TOPIC: C2C, 12/25


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2768
Date:
C2C, 12/25


Silence:  The reading points out that alanon teaches us to hold our tongue and and wait to react, yet it says that we can also use silence as a weapon.  It can be used to punish and can actually be more harsh than cruel words.  And if you are hurting someone else, you are essentially hurting yourself.  Our aim should be to heal ourself and our relationship,and we should try to make choices that support these goals.

Today's Reminder:  What message does my silence communicate?  Today I will try to align the stillness of my tongue with a stillness of spirit.

Quote from ODAT in Alanon:...If the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power....True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance, and peace.

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I like this reading because it is a great reminder of how my behavior can affect someone else.  In the past when I was new to alanon, I would catch my A in lies, and I would confront her, knowing this would lead to a verbal problem.  Sometimes I would stay silent and just stew in my anger towards her.  I could detach back then but it wasn't in a healthy way.  I must say I have come a long way and am better at detaching with love.  Someone on the board once said:  if you know the answer to a question, why ask it?  I remember that as sound advice too. 

I wish everyone an easy does it year, Lyne



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Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

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Thank You Lyne I appreciate this topic and I have truly learned the power of appropriate silence since entering program. I always reacted instead of holding my peace and thanks to program i have learned the grace of silence

Merry Christmas one and all



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Merry Christmas to all! I am quiet today with a different spirit than the silent scorn I practiced so often before. I am grateful for all we learn and practice in recovery as I have choices of tools for all situations when I use them. Grateful for all of you and hope your holiday is merry and bright!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2405
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ohhhh how did I miss this great post??? I was so passive aggressive in this point....shutting them out...refusing to speak....slicing and dicing w/silence..and it was BAAAD!!! it was done to hurt...NOT from a good place....Program has taught me to , when appropriate, to "talk it out" to address an issue, not just hit them with stoney silence, ignoring them, they don't exist, type behavior, however if I do reach out and try to "work stuff out" and I get "dismissed" with a bunch of BS, then yea, I can cut them out, but its no longer from the darkness, it is just  "oh well...I did my best...Time to disconnect"  but yea, this post is great...Thanks for your offering here...I did not realize how passive aggressive I was and still have to fight, but thanks to program, I am up front and direct and if I am silent now, its because all has been said and done and its time to just shut up and let go, but not with hostility,  just knowing when to fold my cards and exit the game.............thank you sooo much for this post.......

 



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Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME

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