Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 11: seeking to improve my conscious connection with HP through prayer and meditation. The author reminds us that how we go about improving this connection is up to each of us individually, and mentions some different approaches, including: lookin...

luv123 · luv123

Today I have been counting the miracles big and small: So I am the mother of the groom in September. I have to go out shopping for my mother of groom dress. The place closest with most selection is off an exit on the highway that I have never wanted to use again, because it is the exit of where my son was in jai...

Overcome · Overcome

June 12, 2018TUESDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: growth and obstacles to growth The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is i...

Lyne · Lyne

Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is trul...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Yes, I first went to an AlAnon meeting about 27 years ago in London. I have gone off and on. I have gone for spells of a few months then gaps of years, like 10 or more years. I've never worked the program or actively done the steps or had a sponsor. On reflection I think the main stumbling block, for me, was tha...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yesterday, my schedule, our Kid's and the STBXRAH's schedules all coalesced... finally! So my RAH picked up sandwiches, and I brought the blanket, Kid and dog. This was his first visit with the dog. Not that I am withholding visitation, just that I am not comfortable having him over to my new home, and...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet. He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today. Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, a comparison is made between the flight instructions one receives (put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else) and what Alanon can do for us. The message of caring for oneself FIRST- before others, is such an important one and I know for my...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My X has decided to act out with our oldest and let me tell you how hard it is for me not to blast him because he's seriously just that fecking stupid. You know you want to mess with me .. you do that .. he already knows what that gets him .. mess with my kids .. you would think he would realize that it would be 100...

Holly73 · Holly73

Good afternoon! Iâm upset with myself for my behavior today. My husband strolled in at 7am this morning after a night on the town...and at 11am I had my proverbial gloves on ready to tell him what a terrible person he was. I ranted, I raved, I threatened empty threats, I name called, I told him exactly wha...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Its only been a couple days since my AH has come home from detox. He has not made any of the recommended meetings and as you all know he has decided that he doesn't need to go to inpatient and says he is just trying to sort things out and has the list of meetings that he plans to start "tomorrow." He had a doct...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I was able to finally get some sleep, of course after I yelled and cried a lot which has no effect on my AH. He slept on the couch and acts like he is not at all bothered by anything and that hurts even more. He woke me up this morning saying he was going to the bank to make things right and that he thought I shou...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading or June 9th speaks of the 7 th step which suggests that we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings." The reading focuses on the word humble and explains that it does not mean begging for mercy, because real humility is discovered by our ability to see our true relationship to God and to...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family ... Welp. Its Been Way to Long... Seems Life takes over sometimes and I Forget were I got our Footing to Carry on... I Love that even after all this time, I can Come back and still see Sooo Much Recovery here... My Recovery Road is Still Carrying On at a Rather Steady Wonderful Pace :) Thi...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So I am really trying to work on things, go to meetings, vent here.... but what can I do to immediately know out the anxiety, obsessive thoughts etc when he drinks and gets loud and then I can't concentrate. So not like I haven't used up energy--worked at the hospital for 6 hours. then did gym for 2 hours...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I still so confused and don't understand things. So many things AH does when he drinks still bother me. Like being loud and tuning out others. So I am suppose to "accept" this or ignore it and just concentrate on me. It's hard--his smell and loudness hard to do--and I feel resentful having to move my...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Many of us find that we our defects have become habit, and we may even cling to them as they give pleasure or comfort. Consider revenge - many of us spend tons of time creating mental scenarios where w...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

While I was posting the update earlier I got the dreaded call to come and pick up my AH from detox. I have worked the last 5 nights (busy), lost sleep and finally had a moment of peace and in an instant I feel that coming unraveled because I instantly had a meltdown and lost it. I have had all this anger and h...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I went to a f2f meeting tonight and I am glad I did. It was so nice to hear other's stories and know that I am not alone. I have only been a few times before and like with this on-line group I know I need to keep going. My AH has made no efforts to go to any meetings and he is still behaving the same so I am keeping...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Trying to sort out what is hormonal and what is actual since my perceptions are a little skewed at the moment. I'm watching things play out around me at the moment through work and some friendships I have .. I'm trying to put boundaries up and not make them walls it's just hard when it seems others won't l...

sakina · sakina

I'm sick of going through this cycle. My AH is an alcoholic and addict. he thinks alcohol is not "as bad" and says stuff like at least he's just drinking. Or at least it's "just beer" instead of hard liquor. Or at least it's "just marijuana" instead of hard drugs. And he keeps saying over and over how he's g...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 5 - Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The writer realizes there is a reason and purpose that God is first in this step. In theory and practice, God does know who we are, where we are going, where we have been and will lead and g...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, Been trying to keep to my side of the street as best I can but assert myself when needed. Yesterday brought a new incident with my supervisor. She wanted me to grant her access to my work email so when I'm out, she could respond to work related requests. She assured me she would not read any pe...

Lyne · Lyne

Tonight I'm celebrating with another group member, our 5th anniversary in Alanon. We are having a cake and receiving 5 yr Alanon coins. I'm psyched! I'm so grateful, healthier, and so much better able to cope with all the grief in my life. I want to thank all of you, for listening and supporting me....

MizzB · MizzB

Today my overwhelming emotion is anger. I want to throw thing. I want to break things. ABF has been off alcohol a week now with the help of medication. And in that week, he just wants to brush everything that happened, all the hurts he's caused under the rug like it never happened. THis is his usual defaul...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Give it away. My heart and head is feeling numb and bruised and I am trying to increased the hopefulness that comes from being a long time member of the AFG. Still it bothers the hell out of me and brings out the negative emotions that our disease seems to thrive on. I am a dual member and recently spok...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I had my attorney appointment today and I felt sad at first and by the end of it I felt mad at my situation. I still haven't heard from my AH who I assume is still in detox, but I was painted a very bleak picture of how hard and expensive it can be legally to separate the AH from my life. The attorney seemed to t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fourth step. The author shares that it can be easy to justify our own unacceptable behavior, but the fourth step helps us to overcome this with courage and self-discipline. When we freely acknowledge who we have been, we can make positive changes and c...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am back! I was out there for awhile believing that things had gotten better. You would think with my years of exposure to the alcoholics tricks, lies and empty promises I would know better. My AH has been drinking vodka every day, even on his driving job putting himself, our families financial sec...

pixie · pixie

Been awhile since I've been on. Hope all is ok with everyone. Seems like I only get on when things have gotten bad. Looks like things have changed on here or am I just not signing on right? So I hope I'm doing this right. In March my alcoholic father in law died, he was 84 and living in a nursing home. He was al...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So, dealing with some craziness this weekend, but I am thankful that I have my Anon-tools that I can use when necessary! Kid is graduating on Wed. Last month I reached out to his father to let him know the date and that each graduate gets ONLY 6 tickets. We could split them in half. He could decide who gets h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C22C reading for June 5 speaks about the 3rd Step-- Turning our will and lives over to the care of a Power Greater than ourselves. . The reading goes on to clearly remind us that this HP is filled with compassion and loves us unconditionally.i When we pray for guidance and become willing to turn o...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Yesterday I had prepared a bbq to bring to my parents. My dad had also prepared a good bit of stuff. This was all for the BIL and three kids. When I got there I got the message that they weren't coming as the oldest wanted to catch the 6pm bus to Dublin. There should be no big surprise there as there are always c...

Bodhismom · Bodhismom

My husband was sober for the first 5 years of our relationship. I never saw him use and we started dating at around 6 or 7 months sober. I didn't know the signs or any reason to look for signs. Last year he relapsed around this time. We had alot of life changes and I think he freaked and his fear brought him bac...

Maresie · 2143

Hello, I've been a lurker on here for the last few months. My husband was an alcoholic and we have struggled so much with his drinking. Ive tried so hard to work the steps and detach and last night he shot himself in the head while we were watching a movie together in our bed. He was extremely intoxicated af...

Lyne · Lyne

Possibility and Hope: Step two says we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to this possibility. A source of assistance may be able to do for us what we have not been able to do for ourselves . The writer says we don't have to belie...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone I have a friend who has been struggling with alcohol, and has had the issues of countless DUI, going to rehab and drinking shortly after, etc. His wife is a good friend of mine and weve gone to Al-Anon and shared our experiences to help each other. While shes out of town, hes been on his drinkin...

DavidG · DavidG

hi y'all... ... [kia ora koutou... he mihi ana... ]... ah were always set up against "city hall", and the gummint, as i used to call it. fact is- I lived in a valley that was flooded to provide electric power- in the 80's and 90's. As as an adult child i was always going to have issues with authority. No...

Dottie5 · Dottie5

hello! i am excited to get started with this program. In person meetings would be awesome, but are not possible for me at this time. Im looking forward to being part of the online al anon group!

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how coming into Alanon is a life changer for so many reasons. Like many others when I first came to the program I figured it would help me change the behavior of my then AH; I soon realized that the help in alanon was for me. As this reading describes, many of...

hotrod · hotrod

Hello all Good News Tanin has turned off the Community fund request on each message Board. The Community Funding solicitation. was extremely successful as we received enough to cover. about 20 months at $17.98 per month.We are now paid up until l April 2019. Thank you all for your generosi...

lookingup · lookingup

C2C reading for today reminds us of the benefits that we obtain from working the alanon program it suggests that by facing the many problems that life brings, using the program tools we become convinced that HP will never abandon us or let us down. Life may be difficult and we may not get what we want...

WestMan · WestMan

The kids and I will start moving this weekend. It has been beyond stressful. I've had to downsize and pack up a four-bedroom house almost single-handedly. I will be moving into a nice tiny little two-bedroom place back in town close to their school. Once we get through this part I think life will be a lot...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Courage shares one member's take that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment", and therefore, a felt resentment has expectation as a likely source.In a situation where a pattern of behavior in another is known, say habitual tardiness, resentment may be avoided by scheduling a meet...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Pinch hitting today for IAH...Today's Courage to Change reading refers to one of the two stories told by man: Hero goes on a journey, overcoming great challenges on the way to claiming treasure or something of great value.Our recovery path in AlAnon often follows this story along spiritual lines as...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So a little update on me... I have finally finished my schooling. I am graduating at the top of my class tomorrow! There were times that I just didn't think I could emotionally get through this... but my goal of independently supporting my kid was a strong one! For the last two months, in addition to scho...

MizzB · MizzB

I'm about to pop with stress. The ExABF is sleeping on my couch atm because his treatment is down here. He's been clean for a week now but keeps pushing and pushing back at work which is his trigger. It's stressful as I can't move on while he's there. His treatment is important which is why he's here. My u...

a4l · a4l

Well it's one foot in front of the other over here. I am having to battle with that familiar companion, depression, and try to stay in the moment. The kids are good and for that I'm grateful. School is going well and already that's a half year gone with some good interim grades. My last exam for the semes...

Tude · Tude

Hi everyone. I have an online friend who is hooked on pain pills.........and started using Kratum...Kratom(sp?) to get away from them...... I won't get into the what is legal and what is natural and all that. To me, anything that changes the way I feel/act is an issue. Lately she's been lying, A LOT, th...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "Be gentle with yourself". The author shares that this concept was a foreign one. What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating oneself when perfection was not achieved. The author struggled to understand how to be gentle with th...

Kitty9876 · Kitty9876

So, Iâm 23 and Iâve lived with my mother who is an active A all my life. Sheâs been sober on and off, and she was sober for the last 4 years but 6 mo ago sheâs completely fallen off the wagon. Itâs very hard. She fell down the stairs because she was impaired, and I worry about her so much. Iâm moving in a few days,...

overit2 · overit2

I guess this is the 1st step. I've looked around for meetings in my area, so maybe that will be step 2. I've reached a critical stage it seems w/my fiancé. More then anything 'different' it's just that I'm fed up w/the cycle. My story. I'm divorced, mother of 2 teen boys 17 and 18. I divorced their d...

andromeda · andromeda

Many years ago I had an article shared with my from Al Anon's Forum magazine. I wanted to share it here because when I truly sat down and read it word for word, line by line, I came to understand that I had a part in this disease and how it was playing out in my life. I hope this helps others here on the board, a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 29 speaks about the principle of" detachment". The reading suggests that detachment is at times confusing and some attempt to practice it by having a grim resolve not to speak. Such silence is filled with bitterness and does nothing to communicate our love and compassi...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Oh goodness .. we finally had THE talk with my youngest about the oldest .. and I am soooo grateful I listened to my gut regarding the situation as a mama. I know this has been difficult with my oldest because he's wanting to tell his brother .. I was insistent the timing be good for the youngest .. I wanted...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So my kid is about to graduate from high school. His dad is still in rehab, but hopefully will be out to attend. His dad has missed every big event in his kid's high school life for the past 3 years. Either due to actively drinking, or in the case of the last 5 months, being in rehab. My son is graduating from t...

joker · joker

This past weekend, I finally stepped out and said I am doing this alone! I went camping alone. I returned yesterday and I was so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and taking care of me. I live alone with my adult daughter and I am adjusting to a new lifestyle. I was in fact grateful that I did...

slybib · slybib

Hi there. I am completely new to Al Anon and am still in a state of shock. I am finding that while all the self help codependency books are helpful, I find more healing in a narrative/fictional story that paints the details out of being in a relationship with an A that I can relate to. Whenever I search f...

andromeda · andromeda

I figured I'd share a story from yesterday where I was able to laugh at my controlling/not trusting God kind of parenting things.... Yesterday, my son was out hiking and doing some photography with a friend he had met online. He was picking the guy up at his house across town and they were going to drive...

Lyne · Lyne

Comparing: The writer says that the only valid comparisons are between herself as she is and the self she used to be. When she thinks of Step 2, being restored to sanity, such a comparison comes to her mind. She talks of an incident 20 years ago, where she crashed her bike, and instead of being gratefu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change June 13 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 11: seeking to improve my conscious connection with HP through prayer and meditation. The author reminds us that how we go about improving this connection is up to each of us individually, and mentions some different approaches, including: lookin...	Skorpi	2	2138	Jun 13, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Ala-Miracles & Jail story (Preview) Today I have been counting the miracles big and small: So I am the mother of the groom in September. I have to go out shopping for my mother of groom dress. The place closest with most selection is off an exit on the highway that I have never wanted to use again, because it is the exit of where my son was in jai...	luv123	9	958	Jun 12, 2018 by luv123
	Tuesday morning meeting starting in chat room (Preview) June 12, 2018TUESDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: growth and obstacles to growth The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is i...	Overcome	2	587	Jun 12, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 6/11 (Preview) Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is trul...	Lyne	3	757	Jun 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	I feel ready to start working the program - 27 years after first going to an AlAnon meeting!!! (Preview) Yes, I first went to an AlAnon meeting about 27 years ago in London. I have gone off and on. I have gone for spells of a few months then gaps of years, like 10 or more years. I've never worked the program or actively done the steps or had a sponsor. On reflection I think the main stumbling block, for me, was tha...	Faintly Falling	10	920	Jun 11, 2018 by Faintly Falling
	Yesterday was a good day (Preview) Yesterday, my schedule, our Kid's and the STBXRAH's schedules all coalesced... finally! So my RAH picked up sandwiches, and I brought the blanket, Kid and dog. This was his first visit with the dog. Not that I am withholding visitation, just that I am not comfortable having him over to my new home, and...	PosiesandPuppies	3	745	Jun 11, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	One day at a time (Preview) Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet. He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today. Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make t...	mamakat71	5	753	Jun 11, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today June 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, a comparison is made between the flight instructions one receives (put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else) and what Alanon can do for us. The message of caring for oneself FIRST- before others, is such an important one and I know for my...	yanksfan51	7	768	Jun 11, 2018 by DavidG
	Send is not my friend .. (Preview) My X has decided to act out with our oldest and let me tell you how hard it is for me not to blast him because he's seriously just that fecking stupid. You know you want to mess with me .. you do that .. he already knows what that gets him .. mess with my kids .. you would think he would realize that it would be 100...	SerenityRUS	4	749	Jun 10, 2018 by mamakat71
	When we slip... (Preview) Good afternoon! Iâm upset with myself for my behavior today. My husband strolled in at 7am this morning after a night on the town...and at 11am I had my proverbial gloves on ready to tell him what a terrible person he was. I ranted, I raved, I threatened empty threats, I name called, I told him exactly wha...	Holly73	11	954	Jun 9, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	knowing what to do isn't easy (Preview) Its only been a couple days since my AH has come home from detox. He has not made any of the recommended meetings and as you all know he has decided that he doesn't need to go to inpatient and says he is just trying to sort things out and has the list of meetings that he plans to start "tomorrow." He had a doct...	mamakat71	7	873	Jun 9, 2018 by Bo
	Got some sleep. so maybe I can think clearly (Preview) I was able to finally get some sleep, of course after I yelled and cried a lot which has no effect on my AH. He slept on the couch and acts like he is not at all bothered by anything and that hurts even more. He woke me up this morning saying he was going to the bank to make things right and that he thought I shou...	mamakat71	7	805	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C,,,6/9 (Preview) The C2C reading or June 9th speaks of the 7 th step which suggests that we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings." The reading focuses on the word humble and explains that it does not mean begging for mercy, because real humility is discovered by our ability to see our true relationship to God and to...	lookingup	3	590	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	Dipping my Toes in the Recovery of Life... (Preview) Hello MIP Family ... Welp. Its Been Way to Long... Seems Life takes over sometimes and I Forget were I got our Footing to Carry on... I Love that even after all this time, I can Come back and still see Sooo Much Recovery here... My Recovery Road is Still Carrying On at a Rather Steady Wonderful Pace :) Thi...	Jozie	6	635	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	any quick fixes for the anxiety ? (Preview) So I am really trying to work on things, go to meetings, vent here.... but what can I do to immediately know out the anxiety, obsessive thoughts etc when he drinks and gets loud and then I can't concentrate. So not like I haven't used up energy--worked at the hospital for 6 hours. then did gym for 2 hours...	Dancer66	9	878	Jun 8, 2018 by Dancer66
	not sure if I am crazy or obsessed or normal. definitely frustrated and confused , angry and resentful (Preview) I still so confused and don't understand things. So many things AH does when he drinks still bother me. Like being loud and tuning out others. So I am suppose to "accept" this or ignore it and just concentrate on me. It's hard--his smell and loudness hard to do--and I feel resentful having to move my...	Dancer66	6	1741	Jun 8, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 6/8/18 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Many of us find that we our defects have become habit, and we may even cling to them as they give pleasure or comfort. Consider revenge - many of us spend tons of time creating mental scenarios where w...	Iamhere	3	547	Jun 8, 2018 by andromeda
	got the dreaded call (Preview) While I was posting the update earlier I got the dreaded call to come and pick up my AH from detox. I have worked the last 5 nights (busy), lost sleep and finally had a moment of peace and in an instant I feel that coming unraveled because I instantly had a meltdown and lost it. I have had all this anger and h...	mamakat71	6	673	Jun 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	F2F meeting was much needed. Glad I went (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting tonight and I am glad I did. It was so nice to hear other's stories and know that I am not alone. I have only been a few times before and like with this on-line group I know I need to keep going. My AH has made no efforts to go to any meetings and he is still behaving the same so I am keeping...	mamakat71	3	586	Jun 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Growing up? (Preview) Trying to sort out what is hormonal and what is actual since my perceptions are a little skewed at the moment. I'm watching things play out around me at the moment through work and some friendships I have .. I'm trying to put boundaries up and not make them walls it's just hard when it seems others won't l...	SerenityRUS	4	602	Jun 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	Newcomer and depressed (Preview) I'm sick of going through this cycle. My AH is an alcoholic and addict. he thinks alcohol is not "as bad" and says stuff like at least he's just drinking. Or at least it's "just beer" instead of hard liquor. Or at least it's "just marijuana" instead of hard drugs. And he keeps saying over and over how he's g...	sakina	15	808	Jun 7, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 6/7/18 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 5 - Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The writer realizes there is a reason and purpose that God is first in this step. In theory and practice, God does know who we are, where we are going, where we have been and will lead and g...	Iamhere	1	546	Jun 7, 2018 by hotrod
	Update about Work (Preview) Hi Everyone, Been trying to keep to my side of the street as best I can but assert myself when needed. Yesterday brought a new incident with my supervisor. She wanted me to grant her access to my work email so when I'm out, she could respond to work related requests. She assured me she would not read any pe...	tiredtonite	12	924	Jun 6, 2018 by tiredtonite
	5th anniversary (Preview) Tonight I'm celebrating with another group member, our 5th anniversary in Alanon. We are having a cake and receiving 5 yr Alanon coins. I'm psyched! I'm so grateful, healthier, and so much better able to cope with all the grief in my life. I want to thank all of you, for listening and supporting me....	Lyne	10	892	Jun 6, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Anger (Preview) Today my overwhelming emotion is anger. I want to throw thing. I want to break things. ABF has been off alcohol a week now with the help of medication. And in that week, he just wants to brush everything that happened, all the hurts he's caused under the rug like it never happened. THis is his usual defaul...	MizzB	16	1392	Jun 6, 2018 by el-cee
	Got compassion and empathy? (Preview) Give it away. My heart and head is feeling numb and bruised and I am trying to increased the hopefulness that comes from being a long time member of the AFG. Still it bothers the hell out of me and brings out the negative emotions that our disease seems to thrive on. I am a dual member and recently spok...	Jerry F	12	813	Jun 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	update on been awhile (Preview) I had my attorney appointment today and I felt sad at first and by the end of it I felt mad at my situation. I still haven't heard from my AH who I assume is still in detox, but I was painted a very bleak picture of how hard and expensive it can be legally to separate the AH from my life. The attorney seemed to t...	mamakat71	0	559	Jun 6, 2018 by mamakat71
	Courage to Change June 6 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fourth step. The author shares that it can be easy to justify our own unacceptable behavior, but the fourth step helps us to overcome this with courage and self-discipline. When we freely acknowledge who we have been, we can make positive changes and c...	Skorpi	3	655	Jun 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	Been awhile (Preview) I am back! I was out there for awhile believing that things had gotten better. You would think with my years of exposure to the alcoholics tricks, lies and empty promises I would know better. My AH has been drinking vodka every day, even on his driving job putting himself, our families financial sec...	mamakat71	8	649	Jun 6, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Another ruined week/summer (Preview) Been awhile since I've been on. Hope all is ok with everyone. Seems like I only get on when things have gotten bad. Looks like things have changed on here or am I just not signing on right? So I hope I'm doing this right. In March my alcoholic father in law died, he was 84 and living in a nursing home. He was al...	pixie	6	650	Jun 6, 2018 by el-cee
	Family Craziness (Preview) So, dealing with some craziness this weekend, but I am thankful that I have my Anon-tools that I can use when necessary! Kid is graduating on Wed. Last month I reached out to his father to let him know the date and that each graduate gets ONLY 6 tickets. We could split them in half. He could decide who gets h...	PosiesandPuppies	9	723	Jun 6, 2018 by Tude
	C2C Reading 6-5 (Preview) The C22C reading for June 5 speaks about the 3rd Step-- Turning our will and lives over to the care of a Power Greater than ourselves. . The reading goes on to clearly remind us that this HP is filled with compassion and loves us unconditionally.i When we pray for guidance and become willing to turn o...	hotrod	4	558	Jun 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Heavy physical depression after a disappointment - then lifts (Preview) Yesterday I had prepared a bbq to bring to my parents. My dad had also prepared a good bit of stuff. This was all for the BIL and three kids. When I got there I got the message that they weren't coming as the oldest wanted to catch the 6pm bus to Dublin. There should be no big surprise there as there are always c...	Faintly Falling	7	713	Jun 5, 2018 by Jerry F
	When will I have some relief from this paranoia if ever..... (Preview) My husband was sober for the first 5 years of our relationship. I never saw him use and we started dating at around 6 or 7 months sober. I didn't know the signs or any reason to look for signs. Last year he relapsed around this time. We had alot of life changes and I think he freaked and his fear brought him bac...	Bodhismom	10	905	Jun 5, 2018 by lookingup
	Need help (Preview) Hello, I've been a lurker on here for the last few months. My husband was an alcoholic and we have struggled so much with his drinking. Ive tried so hard to work the steps and detach and last night he shot himself in the head while we were watching a movie together in our bed. He was extremely intoxicated af...	2143	11	838	Jun 4, 2018 by Maresie
	C2C, 6/4 (Preview) Possibility and Hope: Step two says we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to this possibility. A source of assistance may be able to do for us what we have not been able to do for ourselves . The writer says we don't have to belie...	Lyne	6	657	Jun 4, 2018 by Iamhere
	Situation with friend quickly escalated (Preview) Hi everyone I have a friend who has been struggling with alcohol, and has had the issues of countless DUI, going to rehab and drinking shortly after, etc. His wife is a good friend of mine and weve gone to Al-Anon and shared our experiences to help each other. While shes out of town, hes been on his drinkin...	gabigail	7	641	Jun 4, 2018 by Bo
	Me... now... (Preview) hi y'all... ... [kia ora koutou... he mihi ana... ]... ah were always set up against "city hall", and the gummint, as i used to call it. fact is- I lived in a valley that was flooded to provide electric power- in the 80's and 90's. As as an adult child i was always going to have issues with authority. No...	DavidG	8	786	Jun 4, 2018 by ginnyc
	New comer (Preview) hello! i am excited to get started with this program. In person meetings would be awesome, but are not possible for me at this time. Im looking forward to being part of the online al anon group!	Dottie5	11	650	Jun 3, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Hope for Today June 3 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how coming into Alanon is a life changer for so many reasons. Like many others when I first came to the program I figured it would help me change the behavior of my then AH; I soon realized that the help in alanon was for me. As this reading describes, many of...	yanksfan51	6	576	Jun 3, 2018 by DavidG
	Funding of the MIP Boards (Preview) Hello all Good News Tanin has turned off the Community fund request on each message Board. The Community Funding solicitation. was extremely successful as we received enough to cover. about 20 months at $17.98 per month.We are now paid up until l April 2019. Thank you all for your generosi...	hotrod	5	580	Jun 3, 2018 by Jen61
	CTC-6-2 (Preview) C2C reading for today reminds us of the benefits that we obtain from working the alanon program it suggests that by facing the many problems that life brings, using the program tools we become convinced that HP will never abandon us or let us down. Life may be difficult and we may not get what we want...	lookingup	4	484	Jun 2, 2018 by Iamhere
	Metaphors (Preview) The kids and I will start moving this weekend. It has been beyond stressful. I've had to downsize and pack up a four-bedroom house almost single-handedly. I will be moving into a nice tiny little two-bedroom place back in town close to their school. Once we get through this part I think life will be a lot...	WestMan	14	968	Jun 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	6/1/18 C2C - Expectations -> Resentments (Preview) Today's Courage shares one member's take that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment", and therefore, a felt resentment has expectation as a likely source.In a situation where a pattern of behavior in another is known, say habitual tardiness, resentment may be avoided by scheduling a meet...	Enigmatic	8	550	Jun 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	5/31/18 C2C - Hero Goes on Journey (Preview) Pinch hitting today for IAH...Today's Courage to Change reading refers to one of the two stories told by man: Hero goes on a journey, overcoming great challenges on the way to claiming treasure or something of great value.Our recovery path in AlAnon often follows this story along spiritual lines as...	Enigmatic	6	563	Jun 1, 2018 by Enigmatic
	A By-Product (Preview) So a little update on me... I have finally finished my schooling. I am graduating at the top of my class tomorrow! There were times that I just didn't think I could emotionally get through this... but my goal of independently supporting my kid was a strong one! For the last two months, in addition to scho...	PosiesandPuppies	11	590	May 31, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	A need to vent (Preview) I'm about to pop with stress. The ExABF is sleeping on my couch atm because his treatment is down here. He's been clean for a week now but keeps pushing and pushing back at work which is his trigger. It's stressful as I can't move on while he's there. His treatment is important which is why he's here. My u...	MizzB	8	750	May 31, 2018 by Tude
	Life...sometimes you just have to keep living it. (Preview) Well it's one foot in front of the other over here. I am having to battle with that familiar companion, depression, and try to stay in the moment. The kids are good and for that I'm grateful. School is going well and already that's a half year gone with some good interim grades. My last exam for the semes...	a4l	3	777	May 30, 2018 by Iamhere
	Kratum (Preview) Hi everyone. I have an online friend who is hooked on pain pills.........and started using Kratum...Kratom(sp?) to get away from them...... I won't get into the what is legal and what is natural and all that. To me, anything that changes the way I feel/act is an issue. Lately she's been lying, A LOT, th...	Tude	8	1071	May 30, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change May 30 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "Be gentle with yourself". The author shares that this concept was a foreign one. What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating oneself when perfection was not achieved. The author struggled to understand how to be gentle with th...	Skorpi	6	762	May 30, 2018 by Tude
	Newcomer (Preview) So, Iâm 23 and Iâve lived with my mother who is an active A all my life. Sheâs been sober on and off, and she was sober for the last 4 years but 6 mo ago sheâs completely fallen off the wagon. Itâs very hard. She fell down the stairs because she was impaired, and I worry about her so much. Iâm moving in a few days,...	Kitty9876	8	570	May 30, 2018 by Tude
	I'm new, I'm scared, tired, angry and ovewhelmed (Preview) I guess this is the 1st step. I've looked around for meetings in my area, so maybe that will be step 2. I've reached a critical stage it seems w/my fiancé. More then anything 'different' it's just that I'm fed up w/the cycle. My story. I'm divorced, mother of 2 teen boys 17 and 18. I divorced their d...	overit2	6	662	May 30, 2018 by Aline
	For Groo-Al Anon Forum Article (Preview) Many years ago I had an article shared with my from Al Anon's Forum magazine. I wanted to share it here because when I truly sat down and read it word for word, line by line, I came to understand that I had a part in this disease and how it was playing out in my life. I hope this helps others here on the board, a...	andromeda	11	743	May 30, 2018 by Freetime
	ODAT Reading 5-29 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 29 speaks about the principle of" detachment". The reading suggests that detachment is at times confusing and some attempt to practice it by having a grim resolve not to speak. Such silence is filled with bitterness and does nothing to communicate our love and compassi...	hotrod	5	582	May 29, 2018 by bud
	The Talk .. (Preview) Oh goodness .. we finally had THE talk with my youngest about the oldest .. and I am soooo grateful I listened to my gut regarding the situation as a mama. I know this has been difficult with my oldest because he's wanting to tell his brother .. I was insistent the timing be good for the youngest .. I wanted...	SerenityRUS	8	698	May 29, 2018 by Green Eyes
	Interesting thing happened with KID yesterday (Preview) So my kid is about to graduate from high school. His dad is still in rehab, but hopefully will be out to attend. His dad has missed every big event in his kid's high school life for the past 3 years. Either due to actively drinking, or in the case of the last 5 months, being in rehab. My son is graduating from t...	PosiesandPuppies	19	787	May 28, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Living alone (Preview) This past weekend, I finally stepped out and said I am doing this alone! I went camping alone. I returned yesterday and I was so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and taking care of me. I live alone with my adult daughter and I am adjusting to a new lifestyle. I was in fact grateful that I did...	joker	7	642	May 28, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Best Fictional Books to Read books recommendation (Preview) Hi there. I am completely new to Al Anon and am still in a state of shock. I am finding that while all the self help codependency books are helpful, I find more healing in a narrative/fictional story that paints the details out of being in a relationship with an A that I can relate to. Whenever I search f...	slybib	3	6669	May 28, 2018 by Tude
	Just for laughs......a parenting story (Preview) I figured I'd share a story from yesterday where I was able to laugh at my controlling/not trusting God kind of parenting things.... Yesterday, my son was out hiking and doing some photography with a friend he had met online. He was picking the guy up at his house across town and they were going to drive...	andromeda	5	599	May 28, 2018 by andromeda
	C2C, 5/28 (Preview) Comparing: The writer says that the only valid comparisons are between herself as she is and the self she used to be. When she thinks of Step 2, being restored to sanity, such a comparison comes to her mind. She talks of an incident 20 years ago, where she crashed her bike, and instead of being gratefu...	Lyne	2	507	May 27, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.