Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ling · ling

HI AH has just admitted to drinking again. I was pleased he told me and i had compassion. However later he was watching a humorous programme on tv. I don't know why but I asked him if he was really unhappy. He said he was and it really upset me. I went upstairs not knowing what to do. I later came down and I was a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family - Happy Thursday....Today's reading talks about Step 12 and all that is received as one works recovery. Al-Anon gives us an understanding of this disease, tools to change our lives, courage to use them and a safe place to share and hear ESH. Many of us want recovery for our fam...

shrnp · shrnp

It has been a longtime since I have posted on here. My life was going pretty good. My ex-a still is not drinking and that is great. Now, I am having a big problem with my son. He met a woman who is a drug addict. They got engaged and are living together only after 2 weeks of seeing each other. He had dated her a co...

KT2015 · KT2015

I am finding that other people's illnesses are getting to me and I'm trying to control. My AH had a drunken episode this weekend that sent me reeling. His drinking has been bad and the more he drinks the more I focus on him until I lose sight of my own life. I shared about this at my meeting and got some gre...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- So, Ive been helping my friend who is deep in the struggles of her AH, and she finally has reached out to me in help. Things blew up when I stopped by last night. Her husband was so drunk and asking me why I was there (I told him visiting), and he immediately got suspicious, yelling, etc. I did no...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

It's definetly been a rough few weeks. Coming on here and finding a f2f meeting has kept me going. My AH and I have decided together to try marriage counseling in addition to his recovery program and mine through Al-anon. We both have the understanding that we may come out on the other side and decide...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 12 speaks about having a sense of humor and suggests that it would be great if we could go to the market and purchase a huge supply of humor so that we can use that to lighten our view of many situations and life in general. The reading goes on to recommend that the next time we r...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am feeling so frustrated today. We had a nice day yesterday and then we tried to talk about fixing some things with the moving of "our" bank accounts to only be told that I need to earn back his trust and he needs to take things one day at a time?????? Wait a minute here, I am confused. I thought things ha...

Pol · Pol

I'm not new to alanon but its the first time in years that I have put my foot forward to try and work the program consistantly. I would say I'm past the first three steps but I've decided to do a worksheet I've found online for step one. I will be attending a local meeting tonight but I feel it will probably no...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

Hi...its been awhile since i have posted last...I have a sponsor that I will be talking too however the last couple days between work and my AH i have been feeling like i am a kid again. Its like I am being talked to either that i don't know my job (like a mom would talk) or that i didn't do something (like put a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 11: seeking to improve my conscious connection with HP through prayer and meditation. The author reminds us that how we go about improving this connection is up to each of us individually, and mentions some different approaches, including: lookin...

luv123 · luv123

Today I have been counting the miracles big and small: So I am the mother of the groom in September. I have to go out shopping for my mother of groom dress. The place closest with most selection is off an exit on the highway that I have never wanted to use again, because it is the exit of where my son was in jai...

Overcome · Overcome

June 12, 2018TUESDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: growth and obstacles to growth The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is i...

Lyne · Lyne

Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is trul...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Yes, I first went to an AlAnon meeting about 27 years ago in London. I have gone off and on. I have gone for spells of a few months then gaps of years, like 10 or more years. I've never worked the program or actively done the steps or had a sponsor. On reflection I think the main stumbling block, for me, was tha...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yesterday, my schedule, our Kid's and the STBXRAH's schedules all coalesced... finally! So my RAH picked up sandwiches, and I brought the blanket, Kid and dog. This was his first visit with the dog. Not that I am withholding visitation, just that I am not comfortable having him over to my new home, and...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet. He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today. Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, a comparison is made between the flight instructions one receives (put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else) and what Alanon can do for us. The message of caring for oneself FIRST- before others, is such an important one and I know for my...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My X has decided to act out with our oldest and let me tell you how hard it is for me not to blast him because he's seriously just that fecking stupid. You know you want to mess with me .. you do that .. he already knows what that gets him .. mess with my kids .. you would think he would realize that it would be 100...

Holly73 · Holly73

Good afternoon! Iâm upset with myself for my behavior today. My husband strolled in at 7am this morning after a night on the town...and at 11am I had my proverbial gloves on ready to tell him what a terrible person he was. I ranted, I raved, I threatened empty threats, I name called, I told him exactly wha...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Its only been a couple days since my AH has come home from detox. He has not made any of the recommended meetings and as you all know he has decided that he doesn't need to go to inpatient and says he is just trying to sort things out and has the list of meetings that he plans to start "tomorrow." He had a doct...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I was able to finally get some sleep, of course after I yelled and cried a lot which has no effect on my AH. He slept on the couch and acts like he is not at all bothered by anything and that hurts even more. He woke me up this morning saying he was going to the bank to make things right and that he thought I shou...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading or June 9th speaks of the 7 th step which suggests that we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings." The reading focuses on the word humble and explains that it does not mean begging for mercy, because real humility is discovered by our ability to see our true relationship to God and to...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family ... Welp. Its Been Way to Long... Seems Life takes over sometimes and I Forget were I got our Footing to Carry on... I Love that even after all this time, I can Come back and still see Sooo Much Recovery here... My Recovery Road is Still Carrying On at a Rather Steady Wonderful Pace :) Thi...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So I am really trying to work on things, go to meetings, vent here.... but what can I do to immediately know out the anxiety, obsessive thoughts etc when he drinks and gets loud and then I can't concentrate. So not like I haven't used up energy--worked at the hospital for 6 hours. then did gym for 2 hours...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I still so confused and don't understand things. So many things AH does when he drinks still bother me. Like being loud and tuning out others. So I am suppose to "accept" this or ignore it and just concentrate on me. It's hard--his smell and loudness hard to do--and I feel resentful having to move my...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Many of us find that we our defects have become habit, and we may even cling to them as they give pleasure or comfort. Consider revenge - many of us spend tons of time creating mental scenarios where w...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

While I was posting the update earlier I got the dreaded call to come and pick up my AH from detox. I have worked the last 5 nights (busy), lost sleep and finally had a moment of peace and in an instant I feel that coming unraveled because I instantly had a meltdown and lost it. I have had all this anger and h...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I went to a f2f meeting tonight and I am glad I did. It was so nice to hear other's stories and know that I am not alone. I have only been a few times before and like with this on-line group I know I need to keep going. My AH has made no efforts to go to any meetings and he is still behaving the same so I am keeping...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Trying to sort out what is hormonal and what is actual since my perceptions are a little skewed at the moment. I'm watching things play out around me at the moment through work and some friendships I have .. I'm trying to put boundaries up and not make them walls it's just hard when it seems others won't l...

sakina · sakina

I'm sick of going through this cycle. My AH is an alcoholic and addict. he thinks alcohol is not "as bad" and says stuff like at least he's just drinking. Or at least it's "just beer" instead of hard liquor. Or at least it's "just marijuana" instead of hard drugs. And he keeps saying over and over how he's g...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 5 - Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The writer realizes there is a reason and purpose that God is first in this step. In theory and practice, God does know who we are, where we are going, where we have been and will lead and g...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, Been trying to keep to my side of the street as best I can but assert myself when needed. Yesterday brought a new incident with my supervisor. She wanted me to grant her access to my work email so when I'm out, she could respond to work related requests. She assured me she would not read any pe...

Lyne · Lyne

Tonight I'm celebrating with another group member, our 5th anniversary in Alanon. We are having a cake and receiving 5 yr Alanon coins. I'm psyched! I'm so grateful, healthier, and so much better able to cope with all the grief in my life. I want to thank all of you, for listening and supporting me....

MizzB · MizzB

Today my overwhelming emotion is anger. I want to throw thing. I want to break things. ABF has been off alcohol a week now with the help of medication. And in that week, he just wants to brush everything that happened, all the hurts he's caused under the rug like it never happened. THis is his usual defaul...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Give it away. My heart and head is feeling numb and bruised and I am trying to increased the hopefulness that comes from being a long time member of the AFG. Still it bothers the hell out of me and brings out the negative emotions that our disease seems to thrive on. I am a dual member and recently spok...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I had my attorney appointment today and I felt sad at first and by the end of it I felt mad at my situation. I still haven't heard from my AH who I assume is still in detox, but I was painted a very bleak picture of how hard and expensive it can be legally to separate the AH from my life. The attorney seemed to t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fourth step. The author shares that it can be easy to justify our own unacceptable behavior, but the fourth step helps us to overcome this with courage and self-discipline. When we freely acknowledge who we have been, we can make positive changes and c...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am back! I was out there for awhile believing that things had gotten better. You would think with my years of exposure to the alcoholics tricks, lies and empty promises I would know better. My AH has been drinking vodka every day, even on his driving job putting himself, our families financial sec...

pixie · pixie

Been awhile since I've been on. Hope all is ok with everyone. Seems like I only get on when things have gotten bad. Looks like things have changed on here or am I just not signing on right? So I hope I'm doing this right. In March my alcoholic father in law died, he was 84 and living in a nursing home. He was al...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So, dealing with some craziness this weekend, but I am thankful that I have my Anon-tools that I can use when necessary! Kid is graduating on Wed. Last month I reached out to his father to let him know the date and that each graduate gets ONLY 6 tickets. We could split them in half. He could decide who gets h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C22C reading for June 5 speaks about the 3rd Step-- Turning our will and lives over to the care of a Power Greater than ourselves. . The reading goes on to clearly remind us that this HP is filled with compassion and loves us unconditionally.i When we pray for guidance and become willing to turn o...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Yesterday I had prepared a bbq to bring to my parents. My dad had also prepared a good bit of stuff. This was all for the BIL and three kids. When I got there I got the message that they weren't coming as the oldest wanted to catch the 6pm bus to Dublin. There should be no big surprise there as there are always c...

Bodhismom · Bodhismom

My husband was sober for the first 5 years of our relationship. I never saw him use and we started dating at around 6 or 7 months sober. I didn't know the signs or any reason to look for signs. Last year he relapsed around this time. We had alot of life changes and I think he freaked and his fear brought him bac...

Maresie · 2143

Hello, I've been a lurker on here for the last few months. My husband was an alcoholic and we have struggled so much with his drinking. Ive tried so hard to work the steps and detach and last night he shot himself in the head while we were watching a movie together in our bed. He was extremely intoxicated af...

Lyne · Lyne

Possibility and Hope: Step two says we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to this possibility. A source of assistance may be able to do for us what we have not been able to do for ourselves . The writer says we don't have to belie...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone I have a friend who has been struggling with alcohol, and has had the issues of countless DUI, going to rehab and drinking shortly after, etc. His wife is a good friend of mine and weve gone to Al-Anon and shared our experiences to help each other. While shes out of town, hes been on his drinkin...

DavidG · DavidG

hi y'all... ... [kia ora koutou... he mihi ana... ]... ah were always set up against "city hall", and the gummint, as i used to call it. fact is- I lived in a valley that was flooded to provide electric power- in the 80's and 90's. As as an adult child i was always going to have issues with authority. No...

Dottie5 · Dottie5

hello! i am excited to get started with this program. In person meetings would be awesome, but are not possible for me at this time. Im looking forward to being part of the online al anon group!

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how coming into Alanon is a life changer for so many reasons. Like many others when I first came to the program I figured it would help me change the behavior of my then AH; I soon realized that the help in alanon was for me. As this reading describes, many of...

hotrod · hotrod

Hello all Good News Tanin has turned off the Community fund request on each message Board. The Community Funding solicitation. was extremely successful as we received enough to cover. about 20 months at $17.98 per month.We are now paid up until l April 2019. Thank you all for your generosi...

lookingup · lookingup

C2C reading for today reminds us of the benefits that we obtain from working the alanon program it suggests that by facing the many problems that life brings, using the program tools we become convinced that HP will never abandon us or let us down. Life may be difficult and we may not get what we want...

WestMan · WestMan

The kids and I will start moving this weekend. It has been beyond stressful. I've had to downsize and pack up a four-bedroom house almost single-handedly. I will be moving into a nice tiny little two-bedroom place back in town close to their school. Once we get through this part I think life will be a lot...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Courage shares one member's take that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment", and therefore, a felt resentment has expectation as a likely source.In a situation where a pattern of behavior in another is known, say habitual tardiness, resentment may be avoided by scheduling a meet...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Pinch hitting today for IAH...Today's Courage to Change reading refers to one of the two stories told by man: Hero goes on a journey, overcoming great challenges on the way to claiming treasure or something of great value.Our recovery path in AlAnon often follows this story along spiritual lines as...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So a little update on me... I have finally finished my schooling. I am graduating at the top of my class tomorrow! There were times that I just didn't think I could emotionally get through this... but my goal of independently supporting my kid was a strong one! For the last two months, in addition to scho...

MizzB · MizzB

I'm about to pop with stress. The ExABF is sleeping on my couch atm because his treatment is down here. He's been clean for a week now but keeps pushing and pushing back at work which is his trigger. It's stressful as I can't move on while he's there. His treatment is important which is why he's here. My u...

a4l · a4l

Well it's one foot in front of the other over here. I am having to battle with that familiar companion, depression, and try to stay in the moment. The kids are good and for that I'm grateful. School is going well and already that's a half year gone with some good interim grades. My last exam for the semes...

Tude · Tude

Hi everyone. I have an online friend who is hooked on pain pills.........and started using Kratum...Kratom(sp?) to get away from them...... I won't get into the what is legal and what is natural and all that. To me, anything that changes the way I feel/act is an issue. Lately she's been lying, A LOT, th...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "Be gentle with yourself". The author shares that this concept was a foreign one. What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating oneself when perfection was not achieved. The author struggled to understand how to be gentle with th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feel awful (Preview) HI AH has just admitted to drinking again. I was pleased he told me and i had compassion. However later he was watching a humorous programme on tv. I don't know why but I asked him if he was really unhappy. He said he was and it really upset me. I went upstairs not knowing what to do. I later came down and I was a...	ling	11	2240	Jun 15, 2018 by Finding grace
	Courage to Change 6/14/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family - Happy Thursday....Today's reading talks about Step 12 and all that is received as one works recovery. Al-Anon gives us an understanding of this disease, tools to change our lives, courage to use them and a safe place to share and hear ESH. Many of us want recovery for our fam...	Iamhere	4	808	Jun 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	I really need someone to talk to. (Preview) It has been a longtime since I have posted on here. My life was going pretty good. My ex-a still is not drinking and that is great. Now, I am having a big problem with my son. He met a woman who is a drug addict. They got engaged and are living together only after 2 weeks of seeing each other. He had dated her a co...	shrnp	7	824	Jun 14, 2018 by Bo
	other people's illnesses getting the best of me (Preview) I am finding that other people's illnesses are getting to me and I'm trying to control. My AH had a drunken episode this weekend that sent me reeling. His drinking has been bad and the more he drinks the more I focus on him until I lose sight of my own life. I shared about this at my meeting and got some gre...	KT2015	6	2499	Jun 14, 2018 by Lyne
	Detachment/ defusing slogans/ESH (Preview) Hi everyone- So, Ive been helping my friend who is deep in the struggles of her AH, and she finally has reached out to me in help. Things blew up when I stopped by last night. Her husband was so drunk and asking me why I was there (I told him visiting), and he immediately got suspicious, yelling, etc. I did no...	gabigail	4	1429	Jun 14, 2018 by Bo
	thank you for your support (Preview) It's definetly been a rough few weeks. Coming on here and finding a f2f meeting has kept me going. My AH and I have decided together to try marriage counseling in addition to his recovery program and mine through Al-anon. We both have the understanding that we may come out on the other side and decide...	mamakat71	2	2674	Jun 13, 2018 by mamakat71
	ODAT reading 6-12-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 12 speaks about having a sense of humor and suggests that it would be great if we could go to the market and purchase a huge supply of humor so that we can use that to lighten our view of many situations and life in general. The reading goes on to recommend that the next time we r...	hotrod	8	3340	Jun 13, 2018 by hotrod
	feeling frustrated (Preview) I am feeling so frustrated today. We had a nice day yesterday and then we tried to talk about fixing some things with the moving of "our" bank accounts to only be told that I need to earn back his trust and he needs to take things one day at a time?????? Wait a minute here, I am confused. I thought things ha...	mamakat71	15	985	Jun 13, 2018 by Bo
	Working Step One with out a sponsor? (Preview) I'm not new to alanon but its the first time in years that I have put my foot forward to try and work the program consistantly. I would say I'm past the first three steps but I've decided to do a worksheet I've found online for step one. I will be attending a local meeting tonight but I feel it will probably no...	Pol	9	1162	Jun 13, 2018 by Jozie
	Depressed (Preview) Hi...its been awhile since i have posted last...I have a sponsor that I will be talking too however the last couple days between work and my AH i have been feeling like i am a kid again. Its like I am being talked to either that i don't know my job (like a mom would talk) or that i didn't do something (like put a...	Godsdaughter	6	1163	Jun 13, 2018 by Jozie
	Courage to Change June 13 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Step 11: seeking to improve my conscious connection with HP through prayer and meditation. The author reminds us that how we go about improving this connection is up to each of us individually, and mentions some different approaches, including: lookin...	Skorpi	2	2196	Jun 13, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Ala-Miracles & Jail story (Preview) Today I have been counting the miracles big and small: So I am the mother of the groom in September. I have to go out shopping for my mother of groom dress. The place closest with most selection is off an exit on the highway that I have never wanted to use again, because it is the exit of where my son was in jai...	luv123	9	995	Jun 12, 2018 by luv123
	Tuesday morning meeting starting in chat room (Preview) June 12, 2018TUESDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM EST (6AM PACIFIC)Topic: growth and obstacles to growth The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is i...	Overcome	2	621	Jun 12, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 6/11 (Preview) Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is trul...	Lyne	3	796	Jun 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	I feel ready to start working the program - 27 years after first going to an AlAnon meeting!!! (Preview) Yes, I first went to an AlAnon meeting about 27 years ago in London. I have gone off and on. I have gone for spells of a few months then gaps of years, like 10 or more years. I've never worked the program or actively done the steps or had a sponsor. On reflection I think the main stumbling block, for me, was tha...	Faintly Falling	10	965	Jun 11, 2018 by Faintly Falling
	Yesterday was a good day (Preview) Yesterday, my schedule, our Kid's and the STBXRAH's schedules all coalesced... finally! So my RAH picked up sandwiches, and I brought the blanket, Kid and dog. This was his first visit with the dog. Not that I am withholding visitation, just that I am not comfortable having him over to my new home, and...	PosiesandPuppies	3	780	Jun 11, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	One day at a time (Preview) Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet. He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today. Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make t...	mamakat71	5	788	Jun 11, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today June 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, a comparison is made between the flight instructions one receives (put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else) and what Alanon can do for us. The message of caring for oneself FIRST- before others, is such an important one and I know for my...	yanksfan51	7	805	Jun 11, 2018 by DavidG
	Send is not my friend .. (Preview) My X has decided to act out with our oldest and let me tell you how hard it is for me not to blast him because he's seriously just that fecking stupid. You know you want to mess with me .. you do that .. he already knows what that gets him .. mess with my kids .. you would think he would realize that it would be 100...	SerenityRUS	4	786	Jun 10, 2018 by mamakat71
	When we slip... (Preview) Good afternoon! Iâm upset with myself for my behavior today. My husband strolled in at 7am this morning after a night on the town...and at 11am I had my proverbial gloves on ready to tell him what a terrible person he was. I ranted, I raved, I threatened empty threats, I name called, I told him exactly wha...	Holly73	11	1010	Jun 9, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	knowing what to do isn't easy (Preview) Its only been a couple days since my AH has come home from detox. He has not made any of the recommended meetings and as you all know he has decided that he doesn't need to go to inpatient and says he is just trying to sort things out and has the list of meetings that he plans to start "tomorrow." He had a doct...	mamakat71	7	919	Jun 9, 2018 by Bo
	Got some sleep. so maybe I can think clearly (Preview) I was able to finally get some sleep, of course after I yelled and cried a lot which has no effect on my AH. He slept on the couch and acts like he is not at all bothered by anything and that hurts even more. He woke me up this morning saying he was going to the bank to make things right and that he thought I shou...	mamakat71	7	836	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C,,,6/9 (Preview) The C2C reading or June 9th speaks of the 7 th step which suggests that we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings." The reading focuses on the word humble and explains that it does not mean begging for mercy, because real humility is discovered by our ability to see our true relationship to God and to...	lookingup	3	619	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	Dipping my Toes in the Recovery of Life... (Preview) Hello MIP Family ... Welp. Its Been Way to Long... Seems Life takes over sometimes and I Forget were I got our Footing to Carry on... I Love that even after all this time, I can Come back and still see Sooo Much Recovery here... My Recovery Road is Still Carrying On at a Rather Steady Wonderful Pace :) Thi...	Jozie	6	664	Jun 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	any quick fixes for the anxiety ? (Preview) So I am really trying to work on things, go to meetings, vent here.... but what can I do to immediately know out the anxiety, obsessive thoughts etc when he drinks and gets loud and then I can't concentrate. So not like I haven't used up energy--worked at the hospital for 6 hours. then did gym for 2 hours...	Dancer66	9	911	Jun 8, 2018 by Dancer66
	not sure if I am crazy or obsessed or normal. definitely frustrated and confused , angry and resentful (Preview) I still so confused and don't understand things. So many things AH does when he drinks still bother me. Like being loud and tuning out others. So I am suppose to "accept" this or ignore it and just concentrate on me. It's hard--his smell and loudness hard to do--and I feel resentful having to move my...	Dancer66	6	1788	Jun 8, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 6/8/18 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Many of us find that we our defects have become habit, and we may even cling to them as they give pleasure or comfort. Consider revenge - many of us spend tons of time creating mental scenarios where w...	Iamhere	3	580	Jun 8, 2018 by andromeda
	got the dreaded call (Preview) While I was posting the update earlier I got the dreaded call to come and pick up my AH from detox. I have worked the last 5 nights (busy), lost sleep and finally had a moment of peace and in an instant I feel that coming unraveled because I instantly had a meltdown and lost it. I have had all this anger and h...	mamakat71	6	700	Jun 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	F2F meeting was much needed. Glad I went (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting tonight and I am glad I did. It was so nice to hear other's stories and know that I am not alone. I have only been a few times before and like with this on-line group I know I need to keep going. My AH has made no efforts to go to any meetings and he is still behaving the same so I am keeping...	mamakat71	3	618	Jun 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Growing up? (Preview) Trying to sort out what is hormonal and what is actual since my perceptions are a little skewed at the moment. I'm watching things play out around me at the moment through work and some friendships I have .. I'm trying to put boundaries up and not make them walls it's just hard when it seems others won't l...	SerenityRUS	4	633	Jun 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	Newcomer and depressed (Preview) I'm sick of going through this cycle. My AH is an alcoholic and addict. he thinks alcohol is not "as bad" and says stuff like at least he's just drinking. Or at least it's "just beer" instead of hard liquor. Or at least it's "just marijuana" instead of hard drugs. And he keeps saying over and over how he's g...	sakina	15	834	Jun 7, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 6/7/18 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 5 - Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The writer realizes there is a reason and purpose that God is first in this step. In theory and practice, God does know who we are, where we are going, where we have been and will lead and g...	Iamhere	1	572	Jun 7, 2018 by hotrod
	Update about Work (Preview) Hi Everyone, Been trying to keep to my side of the street as best I can but assert myself when needed. Yesterday brought a new incident with my supervisor. She wanted me to grant her access to my work email so when I'm out, she could respond to work related requests. She assured me she would not read any pe...	tiredtonite	12	949	Jun 6, 2018 by tiredtonite
	5th anniversary (Preview) Tonight I'm celebrating with another group member, our 5th anniversary in Alanon. We are having a cake and receiving 5 yr Alanon coins. I'm psyched! I'm so grateful, healthier, and so much better able to cope with all the grief in my life. I want to thank all of you, for listening and supporting me....	Lyne	10	915	Jun 6, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Anger (Preview) Today my overwhelming emotion is anger. I want to throw thing. I want to break things. ABF has been off alcohol a week now with the help of medication. And in that week, he just wants to brush everything that happened, all the hurts he's caused under the rug like it never happened. THis is his usual defaul...	MizzB	16	1497	Jun 6, 2018 by el-cee
	Got compassion and empathy? (Preview) Give it away. My heart and head is feeling numb and bruised and I am trying to increased the hopefulness that comes from being a long time member of the AFG. Still it bothers the hell out of me and brings out the negative emotions that our disease seems to thrive on. I am a dual member and recently spok...	Jerry F	12	844	Jun 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	update on been awhile (Preview) I had my attorney appointment today and I felt sad at first and by the end of it I felt mad at my situation. I still haven't heard from my AH who I assume is still in detox, but I was painted a very bleak picture of how hard and expensive it can be legally to separate the AH from my life. The attorney seemed to t...	mamakat71	0	588	Jun 6, 2018 by mamakat71
	Courage to Change June 6 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fourth step. The author shares that it can be easy to justify our own unacceptable behavior, but the fourth step helps us to overcome this with courage and self-discipline. When we freely acknowledge who we have been, we can make positive changes and c...	Skorpi	3	686	Jun 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	Been awhile (Preview) I am back! I was out there for awhile believing that things had gotten better. You would think with my years of exposure to the alcoholics tricks, lies and empty promises I would know better. My AH has been drinking vodka every day, even on his driving job putting himself, our families financial sec...	mamakat71	8	674	Jun 6, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Another ruined week/summer (Preview) Been awhile since I've been on. Hope all is ok with everyone. Seems like I only get on when things have gotten bad. Looks like things have changed on here or am I just not signing on right? So I hope I'm doing this right. In March my alcoholic father in law died, he was 84 and living in a nursing home. He was al...	pixie	6	678	Jun 6, 2018 by el-cee
	Family Craziness (Preview) So, dealing with some craziness this weekend, but I am thankful that I have my Anon-tools that I can use when necessary! Kid is graduating on Wed. Last month I reached out to his father to let him know the date and that each graduate gets ONLY 6 tickets. We could split them in half. He could decide who gets h...	PosiesandPuppies	9	753	Jun 6, 2018 by Tude
	C2C Reading 6-5 (Preview) The C22C reading for June 5 speaks about the 3rd Step-- Turning our will and lives over to the care of a Power Greater than ourselves. . The reading goes on to clearly remind us that this HP is filled with compassion and loves us unconditionally.i When we pray for guidance and become willing to turn o...	hotrod	4	590	Jun 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Heavy physical depression after a disappointment - then lifts (Preview) Yesterday I had prepared a bbq to bring to my parents. My dad had also prepared a good bit of stuff. This was all for the BIL and three kids. When I got there I got the message that they weren't coming as the oldest wanted to catch the 6pm bus to Dublin. There should be no big surprise there as there are always c...	Faintly Falling	7	747	Jun 5, 2018 by Jerry F
	When will I have some relief from this paranoia if ever..... (Preview) My husband was sober for the first 5 years of our relationship. I never saw him use and we started dating at around 6 or 7 months sober. I didn't know the signs or any reason to look for signs. Last year he relapsed around this time. We had alot of life changes and I think he freaked and his fear brought him bac...	Bodhismom	10	932	Jun 5, 2018 by lookingup
	Need help (Preview) Hello, I've been a lurker on here for the last few months. My husband was an alcoholic and we have struggled so much with his drinking. Ive tried so hard to work the steps and detach and last night he shot himself in the head while we were watching a movie together in our bed. He was extremely intoxicated af...	2143	11	872	Jun 4, 2018 by Maresie
	C2C, 6/4 (Preview) Possibility and Hope: Step two says we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We are asked to open our minds to this possibility. A source of assistance may be able to do for us what we have not been able to do for ourselves . The writer says we don't have to belie...	Lyne	6	682	Jun 4, 2018 by Iamhere
	Situation with friend quickly escalated (Preview) Hi everyone I have a friend who has been struggling with alcohol, and has had the issues of countless DUI, going to rehab and drinking shortly after, etc. His wife is a good friend of mine and weve gone to Al-Anon and shared our experiences to help each other. While shes out of town, hes been on his drinkin...	gabigail	7	672	Jun 4, 2018 by Bo
	Me... now... (Preview) hi y'all... ... [kia ora koutou... he mihi ana... ]... ah were always set up against "city hall", and the gummint, as i used to call it. fact is- I lived in a valley that was flooded to provide electric power- in the 80's and 90's. As as an adult child i was always going to have issues with authority. No...	DavidG	8	819	Jun 4, 2018 by ginnyc
	New comer (Preview) hello! i am excited to get started with this program. In person meetings would be awesome, but are not possible for me at this time. Im looking forward to being part of the online al anon group!	Dottie5	11	680	Jun 3, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Hope for Today June 3 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how coming into Alanon is a life changer for so many reasons. Like many others when I first came to the program I figured it would help me change the behavior of my then AH; I soon realized that the help in alanon was for me. As this reading describes, many of...	yanksfan51	6	612	Jun 3, 2018 by DavidG
	Funding of the MIP Boards (Preview) Hello all Good News Tanin has turned off the Community fund request on each message Board. The Community Funding solicitation. was extremely successful as we received enough to cover. about 20 months at $17.98 per month.We are now paid up until l April 2019. Thank you all for your generosi...	hotrod	5	617	Jun 3, 2018 by Jen61
	CTC-6-2 (Preview) C2C reading for today reminds us of the benefits that we obtain from working the alanon program it suggests that by facing the many problems that life brings, using the program tools we become convinced that HP will never abandon us or let us down. Life may be difficult and we may not get what we want...	lookingup	4	515	Jun 2, 2018 by Iamhere
	Metaphors (Preview) The kids and I will start moving this weekend. It has been beyond stressful. I've had to downsize and pack up a four-bedroom house almost single-handedly. I will be moving into a nice tiny little two-bedroom place back in town close to their school. Once we get through this part I think life will be a lot...	WestMan	14	997	Jun 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	6/1/18 C2C - Expectations -> Resentments (Preview) Today's Courage shares one member's take that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment", and therefore, a felt resentment has expectation as a likely source.In a situation where a pattern of behavior in another is known, say habitual tardiness, resentment may be avoided by scheduling a meet...	Enigmatic	8	582	Jun 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	5/31/18 C2C - Hero Goes on Journey (Preview) Pinch hitting today for IAH...Today's Courage to Change reading refers to one of the two stories told by man: Hero goes on a journey, overcoming great challenges on the way to claiming treasure or something of great value.Our recovery path in AlAnon often follows this story along spiritual lines as...	Enigmatic	6	592	Jun 1, 2018 by Enigmatic
	A By-Product (Preview) So a little update on me... I have finally finished my schooling. I am graduating at the top of my class tomorrow! There were times that I just didn't think I could emotionally get through this... but my goal of independently supporting my kid was a strong one! For the last two months, in addition to scho...	PosiesandPuppies	11	615	May 31, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	A need to vent (Preview) I'm about to pop with stress. The ExABF is sleeping on my couch atm because his treatment is down here. He's been clean for a week now but keeps pushing and pushing back at work which is his trigger. It's stressful as I can't move on while he's there. His treatment is important which is why he's here. My u...	MizzB	8	780	May 31, 2018 by Tude
	Life...sometimes you just have to keep living it. (Preview) Well it's one foot in front of the other over here. I am having to battle with that familiar companion, depression, and try to stay in the moment. The kids are good and for that I'm grateful. School is going well and already that's a half year gone with some good interim grades. My last exam for the semes...	a4l	3	814	May 30, 2018 by Iamhere
	Kratum (Preview) Hi everyone. I have an online friend who is hooked on pain pills.........and started using Kratum...Kratom(sp?) to get away from them...... I won't get into the what is legal and what is natural and all that. To me, anything that changes the way I feel/act is an issue. Lately she's been lying, A LOT, th...	Tude	8	1106	May 30, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change May 30 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "Be gentle with yourself". The author shares that this concept was a foreign one. What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating oneself when perfection was not achieved. The author struggled to understand how to be gentle with th...	Skorpi	6	801	May 30, 2018 by Tude
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.