The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone! Today's page speaks about the state of mind we are in when we first come into these rooms. We are preoccupied with someone else's drinking. The author discusses Step One in two parts. The first part, that we are powerless over alcohol, is very hard for us to accept. It is much easier for us to recognize the second part, that our lives have become unmanageable, but at this time we don't know what to do about it.
Today's quote: "The first step suggests a radical change in me -- in my way of thinking about the alcoholic and my attitude toward him and his illness. Old destructive habit patterns must be replaced."
I very much relate to this reading. I came to the point that I knew my life was unmanageable but did not know why -- except that it was my husband's fault -- or what to do about it. I remember a time before I came into Al-Anon. I could see that my husband was becoming sicker, and realized that I might have to become his caregiver. This idea was overwhelming to me, so I decided to see a therapist. The therapist suggested that I could look for a support group for families of people with the disease my husband had. The problem was, I did not know the name of the disease. He hadn't been diagnosed with a disease I had heard of, like Parkinson's or cancer, so I had no idea how to look for a support group.
Eventually, it became clear that neither I nor my husband could control his drinking. He was an alcoholic. That was my rock bottom, my despair. The blessing was that now I had a name for the disease, and I could find the right support group. Still, I thought that when my husband realized I "had to" go to Al-Anon -- because of him -- that this would make him stop drinking.
That was almost four years ago. It would take time for my thinking to change, and to realize that I was in Al-Anon for me. Now I can see how radically I have changed my thinking, and I am grateful that my despair brought me to the support group for people like me.
Hello Freetime great topic The first Step is certainly a challenge I do appreciate your explaining that the reading breaks down the Step into two parts . First we admit we are powerless over the disease and then that our lives have become unmanageable .
When i first entered program -Admitting my powerlessness was extremely difficult however the more I kept attending meetings, reading the literature I was able to finally admit i was powerless over this dreadful disease and that my life was unmanageable. Extremely important Step.
I think that first step is one of the hardest for a newcomer to hear because so many of us show up in alanon to learn how to fix the person we love who is suffering from the disease of alcoholism. Most of us don't even realize how sick we have become from being exposed to the family disease of alcoholism. I am still learning and have only been to a several f2f meetings and coming on this board off and on for the last couple of months, but things are starting to click and I am realizing that I need to stay with this program if I am to survive and get myself to a better state of mental and emotional health. Thank you for sharing today's reading and have a blessed day.
Thank you , FreeTime for the daily, and to Betty and Kat for your ESH above.
I too knew my life w/ my qualifier was unmanageable. It was hard to accept powerlessness. Like most here on this board, I got used to my role as "fixer."
Important ESH today, thank you again!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks for your service FT and all the shares. The share about coming to alanon for my A is my story too, and how I realized over time the only one I could change is me. I wasted years, and sunk into an emotional hole, focusing on all the wrong things. Without program I can't imagine where or how I would be. All the steps and slogans are necessary reminders for me to keep my head over my feet ODAT. Grateful member, Lyne
I too thank you Freetime for the daily and your service.....thanks to all above me for your ESH. I can so relate - was angry that I had to go to Al-Anon when another was the problem (issue, cause, fault, etc.) I was deeper in denial about my own role and insanity than perhaps my A(s).
I accepted alcoholism as a disease and knew I was powerless over 'it'....it took me longer to find the grace, forgiveness and empathy to accept, see and be willing to work on the insanity in me. I too am grateful for the program, those who came before me and the courage from HP to continue this journey AND accept help and change as it unfolds.
I hope everyone makes today great. I've been golfing and am now off to visit my friend in the hospital. I'm glad it's the weekend.....(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
