The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Making amends: The writer questions if making amends to those she had injured, might cause further injury, how is she to know whether or not to take that action? She realized that she can ask HP to let her know if her decision is inappropriate . Otherwise, if the 8th Step has been worked and she is truly willing to make amends, she believed the opportunities will arise when she is ready.
Today's Reminder: My Higher Power does not put any challenges before me that I am unable to face. The comfort I find in that knowledge can overcome my fears.
Quote from John Burroughs: The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.
I found making amends to be a scary idea, until having done so, which then filled me with a sense of peace. I feel fortunate that I have not had any bad experiences in taking this Step. In the case of my son I have apologized several times, both F2F and once or twice in a note or card. I made amends recently to a childhood friend, and she told me it wasn't necessary. One thing I have learned is that now and then I realize I need to make an amend to someone I previously had not thought of. So I don't know if I will truly ever be finished, but ODAT I want to make amends to those I feel I have harmed . It is important to make amends to myself, and honestly, I am still working on this one. Although I have forgiven myself for many things, one or two issues are hanging in tight. Progress not perfection, Lyne
Making amend is an interesting topic . I had no difficuity saying"I am sorry " before program as I never really meant it and it was my automatic response to situations where I was uncomfortable. my sponsor indicated that truly making anends was more than saying "I am sorry " I needed to examine my part in the situation, honestly own it, decide to not repeat it and change my behavior going forward.
I made amends to myself by attending meetings and adopting principles that would allow me to live with courage, serentiy and wisdom.
Thanks for your service Lyne
Good morning, MIP! And thanks for your service, Lyne!
The things that stand out to me most about today's reading are the reminder and quote. First, I can trust that HP won't put more in my path than I can take on, and second, I do not need to worry about how I will make amends, I have to be willing, and when the time is right, I will know. I don't need to be afraid to make amends just because doing so seems scary, or because I'm not sure how to do it. That part will take care of itself when the time is right. I just need to today focus on doing the next right thing, and trusting that it will lead in the right direction.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good day MIP - guess I am used to saying Good morning and that's not my reality, just for today (and tomorrow). I recall the first time I read the 12 Steps, and each step seemed so out of reach, especially this one. I had more fear that I would forget someone and make them feel bad vs. fear of owning my wrongs and trying to make it right. Of course, I clearly had no idea in the moment that I would be graced with a spiritual journey that helped me stop fearing everyone and everything and a HP that does lead/guide/direct my thinking and actions when I let him.
I learned the hard way that forcing another to listen to an amends when they aren't ready is about as effective as forcing an alcoholic to have a discussion when they are altered. It's just not effective....at least not for me. Each of these steps and each action I take goes much, much better for me when I am aligned with my HP. I am truly amazed at how amends have unfolded for me and this process, just by suiting up, showing up and being willing each day.
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thanks to all above me for your shares and ESH. I am off to early dinner with program friends in a while and am excited for Taco Monday! We've not done it in a while so I am craving some awesome fellowship and food. Enjoy your afternoon/evening all - (((Hugs))).
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
