The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Give it away. My heart and head is feeling numb and bruised and I am trying to increased the hopefulness that comes from being a long time member of the AFG. Still it bothers the hell out of me and brings out the negative emotions that our disease seems to thrive on. I am a dual member and recently spoke with a new member of AA who was hurting and crying and unable to get her mind and emotions under control. We talked and I heard the need for the Al-Anon Family Groups as she kept referring to harms and hurts from her up bringing along with harms and hurts that have attached themselves to her daughter...addiction and insanity. It has progress to physical harm complete with a large set of bruises. It is that part that makes my stomach sick because my memory of that also being a part of the disease in my life. There was nothing we could do about what had already happened and while she teared up and wept and was locked within the insanity of it I thought of just one little Al-Anon tool which she might be able to learn and hand on to...The 3 Cs and I handed those to her with love until she confirmed she could remember it and use it.
I've sent her up to HP with hope and have locked her spirit next to mine cause it needed company. Mahalo for being here for us. ((((hugs))))
It sounds as if it was a blessed encounter for both of you. Hp brings people together for a reason. Thank you for sharing with such courage and honesty. Recovery is such a gift. I like the way you're working the 12th step (((jerry))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
((Jerry)) HP certainly directed her in your direction-- How fortunate she is to have found you and been introduced to program with your ability to express compassion, program and empathy Prayers for us all
I loved the "giving away" part of this post!
You were there for her in her time of need.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((Jerry))) - healing prayers and positive thoughts for you, your group, the newcomer and all of us in recovery. This disease does not rest, is bigger than life and there are days where I do believe it has 'won'....yet, I do as I was taught - go to bed, review my day, look for my part and the miracles provided, go to sleep and wake up with a renewed spirit and a trust in a power greater than I....feeling as if I am a warrior ready to 'fight' the good fight, just for this day.
We've had 5 deaths in my recovery groups in a short period of time. 3 are confirmed suicides, 1 is an over-dose - not certain if intentional or not and the last was a sudden onset illness unrelated to this disease yet fatal. It's been a lot and many are feeling it, yet we keep coming together and leaning into our program and our HP feeling hopeful yet sad.
My kids are running on self-will and it's painful to bear witness to, my mother is sick again and my friend with cancer is having an extensive surgery tomorrow. I too am feeling a bit tired, stressed, overwhelmed and sad. Yet, because others who came before me keep coming back and reminding me - there is hope always and still. So long as there is breath, there is hope. So - keep doing what works and trust in what has worked before. I've turned my life and will over a few times (a few hundred maybe) in the last xx days, and continue to do so as it's provided me with relief, grace and serenity in the past.
(((Hugs))) to you my brother....you are loved and I felt the grace you shared with your newcomer!! We are far apart for 'that' to happen so it must be working!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((((Sis)))) This at my morning AA group I was reminded of how I was like when I first got into recovery thru the doors of the Al-Anon Family Groups and I sat in amazement at the spiritual echo I was getting and my cell phone went off. Bleah!! Part of her story included physical abuse and other abuses and I was able to tell her I was sorry for her being hit as an amends for the physical abuse I carried out on my wife when the disease raged in our life. I told her how I needed to hear what she said and how she said it because it reminded me of the Al-Anon door I entered by and she said she wanted to check our program out also. Another female member was walking by and stopped to ask if I had literature she could look over because she was also interested so tomorrow morning I am taking the up-dated Al-Anon meeting schedule with me and sharing the message...outside of the AA meeting.
Climb up into the palms of HP's hands and lay down and rest, there is no more surer comfort than that. ((((hugs))))
Aloha my friend.... I read your post, and the first thing that came to mind was "Anyway". Not 100% sure who wrote it, or which version is the original, but it certainly is timeless, and speaks volumes.
I seldom quote Mother Teresa, as none of us are quite that, lol, but there is a fantastic poem called Anyway the first one was written by a guy named Kent M. Keith, the second one was apparently found on a wall in Mother Teresas Calcutta home believed to be one and the same, but they are so absolutely beautiful and true..
Anyway
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, they may cheat you; Be forthright anyway. What you spent years building, they may destroy overnight; Build anyway. The good you do today, they often will forget tomorrow Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it will never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them, Anyway.
ANYWAY People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, LOVE THEM ANYWAY If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives, DO GOOD ANYWAY If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies, SUCCEED ANYWAY The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow, DO GOOD ANYWAY Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable, BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight, BUILD ANYWAY People really need help but may attack you if you help them, HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY Give the world the best you have And you'll get kicked in the teeth, GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY.
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Tom that is one of my "go to" practices when I am believing that I am beset by the egos and behaviors of others. It is difficult because I am so practice and quick at judging and going after the behaviors of others who I instantly feel are violating the rules of the universe and of which I am the universal sheriff for. Offering myself compassion and empathy is a full time endeavor...practice, practice, practice. (((hugs)))
My brother - I needed a chuckle and so got one on your description of 'us' - quick at judging and going after the behaviors of others who I instantly feel are violating the rules of the universe and of which I am the universal sheriff for...
I had to laugh as I can so, so relate! And Thank you Tom - great share no matter who authored - it's just what I needed as I've got some mayhem/chaos nipping at the outer edge of my hula-hoop and it's threatening my serenity. I am reminded to just keep doing me - imperfectly perfect with a ton of work in progress.
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I will for sure my brother(s) - I tell you.....I'm holding on over here and am really determined to let others do/be and just 'stay on my side of the street'. I know I am far from unique but it does always seem that I can't just have one 'incident' at a time....my friend is going to loose her fight with cancer and we don't know how long she has. My mother is sick again/still and doesn't have the energy to get out of bed most days (in another state across the darn country) and my son's are each having issues that I am powerless over. I am all over the board with my serenity and my routine which I am 'on' for today. Even some of 'that' has been thrown off by outside forces/things.
I am grateful for my program and my program friends - I don't know where I'd be without! (((Hugs)))
PS - Tom - you are now also my brother in case you missed the plural above!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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