Good morning, MIP! Thank you for your service, Betty

I like today's reading. I have tended to take everything too seriously. And certainly, there are serious situations, but not every situation is serious. Many of my teachers over the years have talked about how important it is to not take ourselves too seriously, and promoted the heath of fun and laughter. One important thing I note is that humor or laughter or fun, when done as I would consider "correctly" is gentle and builds people up. We might be laughing about someone falling out of a canoe, but there is no malice, no putting someone down. We laugh because we've all experienced the same thing, or can picture ourselves doing it, and the humor binds us together. I try to keep this idea of supportive humor in mind when I look for the humor in things. I've found it easy to slip into negative or destructive humor because it is easier, and then I like to remind myself that humor doesn't need to be biting, harsh, or negative. It doesn't need to make anyone the "butt of the joke" and it doesn't need to belittle anyone or anything. It can be positive and constructive, and in that way, truly enjoyable.

I hope you make today great!

Good Tuesday morning, MIP! Thank you Betty for this important reminder.

I tend to be on the serious side, and with living with addiction/alcoholism, my humor had all but vanished! Even though my Kid teased me all the time about watching AFV, I never dared to tell him that I NEEDED that humor to keep me going! MY father was a very funny man... the man I married was a very funny man... I guess subconsciously I knew how I needed that to balance the serious side of me.

I still watch AFV, but now I am a little better at finding the humor in life. Honestly, having this program helps you to laugh at the absurdity of many of the things you live with as you move through life with your qualifier. When I had first come back to seeking help, there was another board I also check in with... they have an ongoing post called "Quackers." I read that thing every darn day! I laughed and I cried. It was cathartic somehow. I still love to read new posts there... so absurd!

Hot one, today. Make it a great one!

Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thanks to you and all above me for ESH and shares. I tend to get more serious and misplace my grace and humor when feeling overwhelmed. I got a ton going on and we had storms so Layla and I both missed a bunch of sleep last night. I finally was 'done' with all sleep super early and felt that I should skip golf....

I then had a battle within my own mind - I do golf to relax, meet new people, be active - self care. Yet, I do know me well enough that when I am tired and stretched, my ability to 'have fun' is challenged. As you can imagine, I decided to go, and didn't play well and then was angry at myself for not staying home and ... insane circle of 'me thoughts'!! I had to take a hole off, walk to a far-away restroom and lean into my HP as I was just not doing/coping/accepting well at all. It did help and I was able to regroup a bit and enjoy the rest of the outing. I can accept not golfing well - I struggle to accept when my will re-enters, and I believe I have all the reasons/answers as to why I am struggling...the real answer for me is that I am having a hard time, and I am not expected to hold it in, be anyone beyond who I am and having an off-day or quiet day is OK - it's human.

So - I'm a huge believer in using humor and laughter in the right setting and love what you suggested freetime - taking things lightly and laughing at/with self! While we were sitting in the snack shop after golf, a woman was backing up her golf-cart and ran right into a pole. There were 5 of us (all women) sitting there and we all saw it and she saw that we saw. We did not laugh at her but each did 'our own thing' to let her know it happens and isn't any big thing. Well - about 10 minutes later, she came in, came right over and we all had a huge laugh and suggested 'it' was just between us girls.

I was in awe of her - now gracefully she owned the issue and the mishap. I loved that shoe had the courage to come in and laugh with all of us over what had happened. And - we now have another gal golfer to attend/play next week! I aspire to be as free with my errors as she was each day - always. When I'm spiritually fit, I would like to think I'd be 'like her'. Yet, on a day like today, it's possible I might have waived from outside, driven to my car and driven home....

Betty.... when you talk about sense of humor within our program, my mind immediately goes to the egg story

 

 

The wonderful wife of an active A decides she wants to please her husband, so she gets up early and makes him two eggs for breakfast, sunny side up.  She awaits him downstairs, and he comes down - looks at his breakfast, and is visibly angry.  She asks him what is wrong, and he snarls "I wanted scrambled".

Not to be out done, the wonderful wife wakes up early the next morning, and makes him two eggs for breakfast - scrambled.  She awaits him downstairs, and he comes down - looks at his breakfast, and once again is visibly angry.  She asks him what is wrong, and he snarls "today I wanted sunny side up".

The wonderful wife is beside herself with angst, but comes up with a brilliant, fail-safe idea.  The next morning, she wakes up early and makes him two eggs for breakfast - one scrambled, and one sunny side up.  She is quite proud of herself, and eagerly awaits the arrival of her active A.  He comes down - looks at his breakfast, and once again is visibly angry.  She asks him, incredulously - "how can you possibly be angry, I cooked you one of each!!!", to which her AH replies "you scrambled the wrong one".

 

Humorous story, but all too true.  There is often no pleasing an active A, and we need to stop trying to make "sense out of nonsense"; need to stop expecting "sick and irrational people to behave in healthy and rational ways"; and need to see our active A's with a large SSS on their foreheads, that stands for "sick, sick, sick".

 

Tom