Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

somersas · somersas

Sorry in advance for the long post. My mother is an alcoholic and has been since I was in high school. I moved across the country from my parents after college and only visit them/they visit once a year. Every visit was riddled with anxiety and turmoil, before and during because I never knew if she would b...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hmmmm, well, payday is tomorrow. Just like last month, I told my wife while I was at work that I was scheduling payment on bills, etc. She hates this, because once I pay the bills, she has "no money" left to "live on" - whatever that means. It used to mean not enough money to go buy as m...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

pulling my hair out here though not as much as 15 months ago when i began ALANON. I know we are supposed to give AH dignity etc but he gets such a sense of entitlement. He thinks it ok that he keeps me from sleeping and it ruins my heath but if he is sleeping off a wicked binge, everthing has to be quiet and anyth...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Dave's pigeon analogy reminded me of this analogy. The story has helped me over and over again on my journey. "There once was a woman who, upon coming home one late evening saw a snake laying in the snow. It looked frozen to death - but to her surprise it lifted it's head and smiled weakly. It sa...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have an active A 35 yr old daughter,who has a history of illegal drug use and currently abuses prescription drus when she "needs" them for anxiety or whatever. For the past few years, despite my telling her I do not want to hear about people's (her friends, people in the news, books or movi...

Debb · Debb

Willingness is a readiness to change ones perception, the essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better.The definition of perception, for me, is how I personally view, sense and experience my world. We all have tendencies, especially when scared, angry and resentful, to perceiv...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just thought I would post because I don't get a chance to often anymore. I am basically the same as I have been lately. I still struggle w/ my vision but in just two short weeks I will get my eye at least one, fixed hopefully permanently but chances are it won't last forever. I am kind of pessimistic when it c...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am trying to sit still and embrace my new life With All the changes In it. Accept what is and try to heal and grow at my own pace. God will heal me as long as i do my part. I keep trying to take baby steps outside of my comfort zone. Thank you all for your love and support during my difficult times. My Thinki...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I'm back after more than 6 months away (believing I had "graduated".)..had my tools and no longer needed the program. And here I am again...Someone in a meeting told me "No one graduates- you always need to come back." They were right. I'm going through a divorce with my AH. I ne...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone! todays reading is about the importance of self-care. For many of us it is the last thing we do- truly put ourselves first. In fact, there is a sentence in the reading about how the writer would sometimes care for him/herself, but somehow still keep the focus on others! That reso...

daze · daze

My husband of 36 years has relapsed after 10 years of sobriety. He lost his coal mining job last year around this time due to failing a drug test. He had smoked a joint after a softball game and as luck would have it he was tested the next day. I have been caring for my Mother who is in a nursing home for Alzheim...

Mistral · Mistral

Hi all, I'm glad to have found this message board tonight, for I am at my wit's end. My boyfriend is an alcoholic who recently became a non-functional one. We've only been together for two years, much of which he's been drunk during, and the weight of all the chaos is coming down hard right now. This be...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Whenever there is change I get a bit stressed. My oldest is starting her high school senior year tomorrow and my baby is starting second grade, I am starting my last semester of nursing school which will be the hardest and longest semester yet. I know to take this one day at a time and no matter what I will b...

Debb · Debb

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results ~ Albert Einstein I read that basically insanity is, your mind writing checks that your body cant cash (Growing Yourself Back Up: Understanding Emotional Regression ~ John Lee), interesting way at looking at the...

littlelionman · littlelionman

Are there any "old slogans" that everyone is grateful to let go of? Here's a few of mine: An eye for an eye Fight fire with fire (although there may be a time and place, perhaps) And the one that I found to be one of the most damaging slogans in my life: If you can't beat em, join em.

missmeliss · missmeliss

We've been having a bit of a run of crappy luck lately, daughter and I, I'm kind of in 'batten down the hatches" mode. Daughter expressed to me the other day that she feels she and I "never get a break" and I hadn't realised she felt that way. Sad face. Anyway I ended up stacking and rolling...

Debb · Debb

Responsible = I want to be able to respond, not react. We are ultimately responsible for how we perceive and react to what we are exposed to and hear. If we react too quickly, then we sometimes end up saying and/or doing things in response, that we are sorry for later. You know, that feeling that duri...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah and I are separated and I think I screwed up somewhere and need some advise. I kicked him out bc he was drinking again and I just couldn't live with it anymore. Well when I kicked him out he took his paycheck with him and I am stuck with everything the house mortgage the dogs the kid everything. Well he i...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page acknowledges that family situations can get to the point where we are maxed out, done, ready to catch the first wagon train heading anywhere. There are times when we must act, particularly if safety is an issue (C2C p. 73). Outside of these extreme cases, however, AlAnon suggests that we...

Pln · Pln

i recently started therapy... Because I'm having so much anxiety dealing with my life. I am married to a functioning alcoholic.. he works for days at a time ( stays at work 3 & 4) days at a time. He comes home in evening and brings home 3 24oz beers 2 shots of whatever.... To relax from being gone. I liv...

joker · joker

I have been still reading this board and its like I am seeing I am settling for less than I deserve. I find I have a hard time accepting that my abf has been legally married and divorced 3 times and now he wants us to get married. I just can not let go of the fact he has been legally married and divorced 3 times al...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I am one who functions best when I am structured. Needless to say, my day has been way different than planned. I woke up almost 2 hours later than usual. That, by itself, can cause me stress as I always have this nagging pull that I should be up, active, etc. So, when I rolled out of bed and stood uprig...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and it felt sooo normal and usual. I got a meeting tonight and can't wait. What did I do? A driver wasn't reading the signs and has poor information and a huge truck and in the process of denying me the right of way I honked my horn to get his attention. I got the attention of all in the truck and heads p...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

My AH has been working his program for a little over 90 days. I thought everything has been getting more positive over the last few weeks. We even made love which hasnt happened in over 90 days. We were starting to enjoy eachother's company again....until last night when I stumbled upon his supply of be...

PaulF · PaulF

Quick update. I'm moving away from the area I did rehab in to go home. I'm excited and nervous. My female friend is now sober but relying quite heavily on Valium and is understandably depressed. Aside from a couple of texts there's been no other contact. Trying to detach with love! Sadly one of the guys I...

Debb · Debb

HOPE: Happy. Our. Program. Exists.The first gift a newcomer receives from contact with Al-Anon is hope. Seeing how other rise above their problems, listening to situations worse than their own, absorbing the atmosphere of love and goodwill, send them home with a new lease on life. (One Day At a...

texas yankee · texas yankee

One of my Al Anon friends that's struggling with an adult child situation (like me), told me a story the other day that I just had to share with everyone - her story gave me an instant shot of faith and hope - perhaps someone here can use a bit of that, too . . . Her son is in his early 30s, lives across the countr...

lafox48 · lafox48

Hi, all! I'm new to the forum, however not so new to dealing with a recovering alcoholic. As a little bit of background, I began my relationship with the RA in my life two years ago. It was my first experience dealing with an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise. What an experience. In two years' time, I'v...

Debb · Debb

The Three Cs - You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!Codependency No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself~Melody BeattieMs. Beattie writes: When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 30 speaks about making daily gratitude lists as well as other Al-Anon tools that can offer many positive results in our attitude and therefore our lives. It points out that when we are unhappy we should take a moment and realize that much of our own happiness is due to negati...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for August 31, highlights the importance of keeping the focus on ourselves, honestly examining our motives so that we do not attempt to change other people to suit our desires. It points out that prior to program we may have chosen someone who we felt would always be there for us but wou...

hiraeth · hiraeth

My mother is in a binge and has been having full blown hallucinations. One night she was in her lounge room and suddenly felt like she was in a jungle. She could see the jungle, feel it, smell it - in her reality, she was there. And she was all tangled in the foliage. Another night she hallucinated that she...

bailyboo · bailyboo

I been out of an alcoholic relationship for over 30 yrs I was married at 16 to an alcoholic and stayed 14 yrs l left work on myself married a wonderful man happy healthy marriage for 25 yrs he passed away over 2 yrs ago .I am in another healthy relationship and we our happy I live in fl .I Never bother anyone up...

joker · joker

I have been reading a lot about alcoholism and I have been pondering why do I stay with ABF and not move on...I was in deep thought today and the answer came to me like this...I am not afraid of being alone, living alone...in fact I enjoy living alone and spending time alone. What I am afraid of is men and the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Gah. I mentioned I'd picked up a new delivery job that was meant to pay pretty well for pleb work. The guy said, basically, it would take me about 1 hour to stack and roll the material and then 2 hours to deliver it, for a weekly amount of $60-70. Add in driving to pick the stuff up and $2 for rubber bands and th...

catlover26 · catlover26

So I have been feeling upset that my A boyfriend has been depressed and won't seem to get out of it. I have to try to remember that with our relationship in particular it must be difficult at times and he has told me because it is all really new to him because of years he was an Alcoholic and didn't deal with li...

bebe_bethany · bebe_bethany

I joined this group to try to get other people's perspective on my situation. I was married to an alcoholic for almost 10 years. I truly love him more than anything, and we had 3 kids together. I divorced after his drinking became progressive and he started to become verbally violent. The past 6 years, I...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I see the tropical storm is just on top of you, we all hope everything turns out OK. HP is in control!! Kenny

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 29 speaks about our regrets as we review our memories of past mistakes or mimissedjudgments. It points out that in Step Eight we will discover a means to release ourselves from unrelenting guilt. The reading suggests that the step asks us to make a list of all people we had h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 28 speaks about finding a sponsor in Al-Anon. It suggests that many of us have never dared to trust another person so that having the courage to reach out and ask someone to sponsor us is a huge step towards our recovery. As the result of living with this disease, many feel we...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

As I learn more about this disease of mine and my AH I realize a pattern of thought and action. He wants to take the path of least resistance, do the work 1/2 way and or half a**. He wants HP to just show up in his life like a magic gene where he will then list off everything he wants (more than 3 wishes ) and Wa...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

(wink wink). I wanted to share something happy and uplifting and less "curious" than my last post. Several weeks ago my AH and I were scrambling to find a new home. Two offers fell through last minute and we had no where to go. I mean truthfully couldn't even find an apartment. On fathers...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

...not sure who wrote this.. but I printed it and have been carrying it around reading it frequently throughout the past week...1. Pain is part of growing.Sometimes life closes doors because its time to move forward. And thats a good thing because we often wont move unless circumstances force us...

laurab · laurab

A son, who is also bi polar, is in the 9th day of his cycle. He keeps texting me. His partner and their 3 month old went to a friends. He is alone in their house. He texted that she is going to the police to get him out of the house. He has missed this whole week of the best job he has ever had. I don't know if the job w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

PPPHHHHHFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's about how I feel about that!! I keep telling myself that no news could possibly be good news and there is one more interview .. which kind of sucks because she was in such a hurry when she interviewed me I didn't feel like I had any time to...

Debb · Debb

FEAR: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. In Al-Anon, the answer to What if? Is: Dont project! Dont imagine the worst; deal with your problems as they arise. Live one day at a time. I cannot do anything about things that havent happened; I will not let the past experiences make me dread the unknown...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

I could probably start a million different threads about the million different things running through my head, but I'll try to keep this one focused. I know one of the tenets of Al Anon is to let go of expectations...expectations lead to disappointment and resentment...etc. I think I'm having troub...

maire rua · maire rua

Unfortunately I am getting in there again and failing to detach. Forgetting all the things I need to in order to have a serene life. Not letting go and not letting God and its doing me immense damage. Going to cancel a few things this weekend and give myself some space to think of me.

JukuVee · JukuVee

The other night I caught my husband of 22 years in a compromising position. Some people had been saying things to me about an ex flame of his chasing him. I wasn't worried because he has never been a cheater, at least as far as I know, but things have gotten bad between us since I told him I was done putting up...

Billie · Billie

I went to the dentist this afternoon. My teeth have felt sensitive. Dentist told me I am grinding my teeth so much that they are cracking. He had to repair one. He told me to go to Florida and sit by a pool! This put me in touch with my anger - at my AH. Of course it is HIS fault this is happening. Then the recept...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I received a job offer last week and am still in the process of negotiating. In the meantime, I had another interview the same week for another position. I have interest in that position also. They will be offering second interviews. The timing isn't very good. I will likely have to ac...

hiraeth · hiraeth

For example, I once knew an alcoholic who was refused service from the liquor store at a trailer park out in the middle of nowhere. He went home and ruminated on the injustice, then in the dead of night, drunk off his mind, drove his truck straight through the windows of the liquor store in a dual act of rev...

joker · joker

I have just had an oh my moment of realization. I have been working on cleaning the clutter in my house. I do mean cleaning. Taking loads of STUFF to the dump and even had a garage sale. I have found letting go of the junk around the house has been helping me learn the concept of LETTING GO and how free I feel af...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ex husband calls my phone tonight. I hand it to daughter to answer. I have already spoken to him this week, already made arrangements and compromises so that she can spend fathers day with him next week and I'm quite sure we are all in agreement and satisfied with arrangements. I don't want or need to tal...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about attending our first Al-Anon meeting. Many of us were disappointed because we were not given a list telling us "how to fix the alcoholic". Instead we are given the 12 steps with the suggestion that we focus on ourselves and use the steps to recover...

Debb · Debb

HALT if youre : Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Be aware when these four physical or emotion conditions arise. When these do arise we are in a vulnerable position to have a severe emotional react.Realizing that to react to quickly only puts me in a defensive position, which is not a healthy place...

carewithann · carewithann

I stumbled across this today, thought I should share it.. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think because the way you think determines how you feel and the way you act. If you want to change your life, change what you are thinking about. This involves a deli...

Kab915 · Kab915

So, this is my first time posting--I only found this forum two days ago after a Google search. I wasn't sure if I should post a comment on a similar board or make a new post. A lot of the other threads helped me, but I want to share my own...story? I need help. I'm 26, and my partner has been sober 3 and a half mon...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone, Update portion: last weekend, I went to my hometown to help my sister move. My AW came with, and that was incredibly helpful. My sister is going through a divorce, and that is not easy. We had one day to pack and get her things out, and we did it! My parents have a garage full, a friend of hers ha...

Fairlee · Fairlee

lately on social media I have been reading a lot of positive, encouraging devotional-type articles, dealing with kids, marriage and life in general. I have a couple that I follow, who do marriage workshops, and their posts are always very uplifting but I always say in my mind after I read them "b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Establishing Boundaries with Your Parents (for your children) (Preview) Sorry in advance for the long post. My mother is an alcoholic and has been since I was in high school. I moved across the country from my parents after college and only visit them/they visit once a year. Every visit was riddled with anxiety and turmoil, before and during because I never knew if she would b...	somersas	3	744	Sep 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	Meaning what I say... (Preview) Hmmmm, well, payday is tomorrow. Just like last month, I told my wife while I was at work that I was scheduling payment on bills, etc. She hates this, because once I pay the bills, she has "no money" left to "live on" - whatever that means. It used to mean not enough money to go buy as m...	Skorpi	12	903	Sep 2, 2015 by JukuVee
	sense of entitlement (Preview) pulling my hair out here though not as much as 15 months ago when i began ALANON. I know we are supposed to give AH dignity etc but he gets such a sense of entitlement. He thinks it ok that he keeps me from sleeping and it ruins my heath but if he is sleeping off a wicked binge, everthing has to be quiet and anyth...	YARNCRAZY	7	1955	Sep 2, 2015 by JukuVee
	One of my favorite stories. (Preview) Dave's pigeon analogy reminded me of this analogy. The story has helped me over and over again on my journey. "There once was a woman who, upon coming home one late evening saw a snake laying in the snow. It looked frozen to death - but to her surprise it lifted it's head and smiled weakly. It sa...	LedfootJenny	9	802	Sep 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	True Confessions (Preview) I have an active A 35 yr old daughter,who has a history of illegal drug use and currently abuses prescription drus when she "needs" them for anxiety or whatever. For the past few years, despite my telling her I do not want to hear about people's (her friends, people in the news, books or movi...	lgnutah	13	961	Sep 2, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	Definition for 9/2/15 - Willingness (Preview) Willingness is a readiness to change ones perception, the essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better.The definition of perception, for me, is how I personally view, sense and experience my world. We all have tendencies, especially when scared, angry and resentful, to perceiv...	Debb	1	1123	Sep 2, 2015 by hotrod
	really don't know what to say... (Preview) Just thought I would post because I don't get a chance to often anymore. I am basically the same as I have been lately. I still struggle w/ my vision but in just two short weeks I will get my eye at least one, fixed hopefully permanently but chances are it won't last forever. I am kind of pessimistic when it c...	Hoot Nanny	4	934	Sep 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	Being still (Preview) I am trying to sit still and embrace my new life With All the changes In it. Accept what is and try to heal and grow at my own pace. God will heal me as long as i do my part. I keep trying to take baby steps outside of my comfort zone. Thank you all for your love and support during my difficult times. My Thinki...	Mirandac	7	711	Sep 1, 2015 by Mirandac
	Here I am...back again (Preview) I'm back after more than 6 months away (believing I had "graduated".)..had my tools and no longer needed the program. And here I am again...Someone in a meeting told me "No one graduates- you always need to come back." They were right. I'm going through a divorce with my AH. I ne...	alexmaui	8	885	Sep 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for today sept 1 (Preview) good morning everyone! todays reading is about the importance of self-care. For many of us it is the last thing we do- truly put ourselves first. In fact, there is a sentence in the reading about how the writer would sometimes care for him/herself, but somehow still keep the focus on others! That reso...	yanksfan51	3	615	Sep 1, 2015 by Debb
	How do you stop hating?? (Preview) My husband of 36 years has relapsed after 10 years of sobriety. He lost his coal mining job last year around this time due to failing a drug test. He had smoked a joint after a softball game and as luck would have it he was tested the next day. I have been caring for my Mother who is in a nursing home for Alzheim...	daze	26	1153	Sep 1, 2015 by daze
	New and reaching out (Preview) Hi all, I'm glad to have found this message board tonight, for I am at my wit's end. My boyfriend is an alcoholic who recently became a non-functional one. We've only been together for two years, much of which he's been drunk during, and the weight of all the chaos is coming down hard right now. This be...	Mistral	9	696	Sep 1, 2015 by Mistral
	Change is in the air....update on me (Preview) Whenever there is change I get a bit stressed. My oldest is starting her high school senior year tomorrow and my baby is starting second grade, I am starting my last semester of nursing school which will be the hardest and longest semester yet. I know to take this one day at a time and no matter what I will b...	Breakingfree	9	799	Sep 1, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Definition for 9/1/15 - Insanity (Preview) Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results ~ Albert Einstein I read that basically insanity is, your mind writing checks that your body cant cash (Growing Yourself Back Up: Understanding Emotional Regression ~ John Lee), interesting way at looking at the...	Debb	3	5340	Sep 1, 2015 by The1975jen
	Old Slogans (Preview) Are there any "old slogans" that everyone is grateful to let go of? Here's a few of mine: An eye for an eye Fight fire with fire (although there may be a time and place, perhaps) And the one that I found to be one of the most damaging slogans in my life: If you can't beat em, join em.	littlelionman	9	730	Sep 1, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Ugh. (Preview) We've been having a bit of a run of crappy luck lately, daughter and I, I'm kind of in 'batten down the hatches" mode. Daughter expressed to me the other day that she feels she and I "never get a break" and I hadn't realised she felt that way. Sad face. Anyway I ended up stacking and rolling...	missmeliss	18	991	Sep 1, 2015 by Debb
	Definition for 8/31/15 - Responsible (Preview) Responsible = I want to be able to respond, not react. We are ultimately responsible for how we perceive and react to what we are exposed to and hear. If we react too quickly, then we sometimes end up saying and/or doing things in response, that we are sorry for later. You know, that feeling that duri...	Debb	5	752	Aug 31, 2015 by Debb
	Separated but still controlled?? (Preview) My ah and I are separated and I think I screwed up somewhere and need some advise. I kicked him out bc he was drinking again and I just couldn't live with it anymore. Well when I kicked him out he took his paycheck with him and I am stuck with everything the house mortgage the dogs the kid everything. Well he i...	Helpangel	7	684	Aug 31, 2015 by Helpangel
	ODAT 8-30 Making Important Decisions: What AlAnon Recommends... (Preview) Today's page acknowledges that family situations can get to the point where we are maxed out, done, ready to catch the first wagon train heading anywhere. There are times when we must act, particularly if safety is an issue (C2C p. 73). Outside of these extreme cases, however, AlAnon suggests that we...	Enigmatic	5	1370	Aug 31, 2015 by Enigmatic
	New here...need advice. (Preview) i recently started therapy... Because I'm having so much anxiety dealing with my life. I am married to a functioning alcoholic.. he works for days at a time ( stays at work 3 & 4) days at a time. He comes home in evening and brings home 3 24oz beers 2 shots of whatever.... To relax from being gone. I liv...	Pln	7	700	Aug 31, 2015 by milkwood
	awareness comming (Preview) I have been still reading this board and its like I am seeing I am settling for less than I deserve. I find I have a hard time accepting that my abf has been legally married and divorced 3 times and now he wants us to get married. I just can not let go of the fact he has been legally married and divorced 3 times al...	joker	1	659	Aug 31, 2015 by Debb
	I Woke Up Sick......Darn It!!! (Preview) So - I am one who functions best when I am structured. Needless to say, my day has been way different than planned. I woke up almost 2 hours later than usual. That, by itself, can cause me stress as I always have this nagging pull that I should be up, active, etc. So, when I rolled out of bed and stood uprig...	Iamhere	28	916	Aug 31, 2015 by Debb
	Yes I really did that!! (Preview) and it felt sooo normal and usual. I got a meeting tonight and can't wait. What did I do? A driver wasn't reading the signs and has poor information and a huge truck and in the process of denying me the right of way I honked my horn to get his attention. I got the attention of all in the truck and heads p...	Jerry F	7	954	Aug 31, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Relapse (Preview) My AH has been working his program for a little over 90 days. I thought everything has been getting more positive over the last few weeks. We even made love which hasnt happened in over 90 days. We were starting to enjoy eachother's company again....until last night when I stumbled upon his supply of be...	EarlyBird	6	826	Aug 31, 2015 by RealitySucker
	Update - still sane(ish) (Preview) Quick update. I'm moving away from the area I did rehab in to go home. I'm excited and nervous. My female friend is now sober but relying quite heavily on Valium and is understandably depressed. Aside from a couple of texts there's been no other contact. Trying to detach with love! Sadly one of the guys I...	PaulF	3	617	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/29/15 ... H.O.P.E. (Preview) HOPE: Happy. Our. Program. Exists.The first gift a newcomer receives from contact with Al-Anon is hope. Seeing how other rise above their problems, listening to situations worse than their own, absorbing the atmosphere of love and goodwill, send them home with a new lease on life. (One Day At a...	Debb	11	904	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Two for one special - FAITH and HOPE !!! (Preview) One of my Al Anon friends that's struggling with an adult child situation (like me), told me a story the other day that I just had to share with everyone - her story gave me an instant shot of faith and hope - perhaps someone here can use a bit of that, too . . . Her son is in his early 30s, lives across the countr...	texas yankee	19	925	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Need some hope and help... (Preview) Hi, all! I'm new to the forum, however not so new to dealing with a recovering alcoholic. As a little bit of background, I began my relationship with the RA in my life two years ago. It was my first experience dealing with an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise. What an experience. In two years' time, I'v...	lafox48	6	712	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Wisdom for today 8/30/15 – The Three C’s (Preview) The Three Cs - You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!Codependency No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself~Melody BeattieMs. Beattie writes: When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled...	Debb	4	809	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 30 speaks about making daily gratitude lists as well as other Al-Anon tools that can offer many positive results in our attitude and therefore our lives. It points out that when we are unhappy we should take a moment and realize that much of our own happiness is due to negati...	hotrod	3	640	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-31 (Preview) C2C reading for August 31, highlights the importance of keeping the focus on ourselves, honestly examining our motives so that we do not attempt to change other people to suit our desires. It points out that prior to program we may have chosen someone who we felt would always be there for us but wou...	hotrod	2	574	Aug 31, 2015 by Enigmatic
	hallucinations - alcoholism or something else? (Preview) My mother is in a binge and has been having full blown hallucinations. One night she was in her lounge room and suddenly felt like she was in a jungle. She could see the jungle, feel it, smell it - in her reality, she was there. And she was all tangled in the foliage. Another night she hallucinated that she...	hiraeth	16	1911	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	oh it never ends (Preview) I been out of an alcoholic relationship for over 30 yrs I was married at 16 to an alcoholic and stayed 14 yrs l left work on myself married a wonderful man happy healthy marriage for 25 yrs he passed away over 2 yrs ago .I am in another healthy relationship and we our happy I live in fl .I Never bother anyone up...	bailyboo	3	673	Aug 31, 2015 by bailyboo
	Realization why (Preview) I have been reading a lot about alcoholism and I have been pondering why do I stay with ABF and not move on...I was in deep thought today and the answer came to me like this...I am not afraid of being alone, living alone...in fact I enjoy living alone and spending time alone. What I am afraid of is men and the...	joker	6	704	Aug 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	Sigh, what would you guys do? (Preview) Gah. I mentioned I'd picked up a new delivery job that was meant to pay pretty well for pleb work. The guy said, basically, it would take me about 1 hour to stack and roll the material and then 2 hours to deliver it, for a weekly amount of $60-70. Add in driving to pick the stuff up and $2 for rubber bands and th...	missmeliss	8	642	Aug 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hard to remember that he 'numbed' himself of all emotions (Preview) So I have been feeling upset that my A boyfriend has been depressed and won't seem to get out of it. I have to try to remember that with our relationship in particular it must be difficult at times and he has told me because it is all really new to him because of years he was an Alcoholic and didn't deal with li...	catlover26	4	692	Aug 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	Remarrying a recovering alcoholic (Preview) I joined this group to try to get other people's perspective on my situation. I was married to an alcoholic for almost 10 years. I truly love him more than anything, and we had 3 kids together. I divorced after his drinking became progressive and he started to become verbally violent. The past 6 years, I...	bebe_bethany	10	1033	Aug 30, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Batten down the hatches JerryF! (Preview) I see the tropical storm is just on top of you, we all hope everything turns out OK. HP is in control!! Kenny	KennyFenderjazz	5	598	Aug 29, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2C 8-29 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 29 speaks about our regrets as we review our memories of past mistakes or mimissedjudgments. It points out that in Step Eight we will discover a means to release ourselves from unrelenting guilt. The reading suggests that the step asks us to make a list of all people we had h...	hotrod	2	643	Aug 29, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 8-26 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 28 speaks about finding a sponsor in Al-Anon. It suggests that many of us have never dared to trust another person so that having the courage to reach out and ask someone to sponsor us is a huge step towards our recovery. As the result of living with this disease, many feel we...	hotrod	9	757	Aug 29, 2015 by Debb
	Curious disease... why do A's want a magic wand? (Preview) As I learn more about this disease of mine and my AH I realize a pattern of thought and action. He wants to take the path of least resistance, do the work 1/2 way and or half a**. He wants HP to just show up in his life like a magic gene where he will then list off everything he wants (more than 3 wishes ) and Wa...	LedfootJenny	14	897	Aug 29, 2015 by Skorpi
	HP has a "wicked" sense of humor! (Preview) (wink wink). I wanted to share something happy and uplifting and less "curious" than my last post. Several weeks ago my AH and I were scrambling to find a new home. Two offers fell through last minute and we had no where to go. I mean truthfully couldn't even find an apartment. On fathers...	LedfootJenny	4	718	Aug 29, 2015 by Jerry F
	so I hit a rough patch... (Preview) ...not sure who wrote this.. but I printed it and have been carrying it around reading it frequently throughout the past week...1. Pain is part of growing.Sometimes life closes doors because its time to move forward. And thats a good thing because we often wont move unless circumstances force us...	Mari1978	2	836	Aug 28, 2015 by Debb
	I am waiting (Preview) A son, who is also bi polar, is in the 9th day of his cycle. He keeps texting me. His partner and their 3 month old went to a friends. He is alone in their house. He texted that she is going to the police to get him out of the house. He has missed this whole week of the best job he has ever had. I don't know if the job w...	laurab	4	797	Aug 28, 2015 by laurab
	Hurry up and wait .. (Preview) PPPHHHHHFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's about how I feel about that!! I keep telling myself that no news could possibly be good news and there is one more interview .. which kind of sucks because she was in such a hurry when she interviewed me I didn't feel like I had any time to...	SerenityRUS	8	818	Aug 28, 2015 by andromeda
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/28/15 ... F.E.A.R. (Preview) FEAR: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. In Al-Anon, the answer to What if? Is: Dont project! Dont imagine the worst; deal with your problems as they arise. Live one day at a time. I cannot do anything about things that havent happened; I will not let the past experiences make me dread the unknown...	Debb	7	1192	Aug 28, 2015 by andromeda
	Differentiating between hope and expectation (Preview) I could probably start a million different threads about the million different things running through my head, but I'll try to keep this one focused. I know one of the tenets of Al Anon is to let go of expectations...expectations lead to disappointment and resentment...etc. I think I'm having troub...	RealitySucker	16	4035	Aug 28, 2015 by Maine Girl
	I'm getting in there again.... (Preview) Unfortunately I am getting in there again and failing to detach. Forgetting all the things I need to in order to have a serene life. Not letting go and not letting God and its doing me immense damage. Going to cancel a few things this weekend and give myself some space to think of me.	maire rua	3	584	Aug 28, 2015 by Jozie
	I think he's cheating (Preview) The other night I caught my husband of 22 years in a compromising position. Some people had been saying things to me about an ex flame of his chasing him. I wasn't worried because he has never been a cheater, at least as far as I know, but things have gotten bad between us since I told him I was done putting up...	JukuVee	16	893	Aug 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	In my head (Preview) I went to the dentist this afternoon. My teeth have felt sensitive. Dentist told me I am grinding my teeth so much that they are cracking. He had to repair one. He told me to go to Florida and sit by a pool! This put me in touch with my anger - at my AH. Of course it is HIS fault this is happening. Then the recept...	Billie	7	762	Aug 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	Work Decision (Preview) Hi Everyone, I received a job offer last week and am still in the process of negotiating. In the meantime, I had another interview the same week for another position. I have interest in that position also. They will be offering second interviews. The timing isn't very good. I will likely have to ac...	tiredtonite	16	961	Aug 27, 2015 by tiredtonite
	What's the craziest thing your alcoholic person has ever done? (Preview) For example, I once knew an alcoholic who was refused service from the liquor store at a trailer park out in the middle of nowhere. He went home and ruminated on the injustice, then in the dead of night, drunk off his mind, drove his truck straight through the windows of the liquor store in a dual act of rev...	hiraeth	18	1029	Aug 27, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	attitude changing as I let go (Preview) I have just had an oh my moment of realization. I have been working on cleaning the clutter in my house. I do mean cleaning. Taking loads of STUFF to the dump and even had a garage sale. I have found letting go of the junk around the house has been helping me learn the concept of LETTING GO and how free I feel af...	joker	6	679	Aug 27, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	One foot in front of the other. (Preview) Ex husband calls my phone tonight. I hand it to daughter to answer. I have already spoken to him this week, already made arrangements and compromises so that she can spend fathers day with him next week and I'm quite sure we are all in agreement and satisfied with arrangements. I don't want or need to tal...	missmeliss	11	692	Aug 27, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 8-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about attending our first Al-Anon meeting. Many of us were disappointed because we were not given a list telling us "how to fix the alcoholic". Instead we are given the 12 steps with the suggestion that we focus on ourselves and use the steps to recover...	hotrod	3	636	Aug 27, 2015 by Broken513
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/27/15 ... H.A.L.T. (Preview) HALT if youre : Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Be aware when these four physical or emotion conditions arise. When these do arise we are in a vulnerable position to have a severe emotional react.Realizing that to react to quickly only puts me in a defensive position, which is not a healthy place...	Debb	2	2573	Aug 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Reduce Stress, live in Peace (Preview) I stumbled across this today, thought I should share it.. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think because the way you think determines how you feel and the way you act. If you want to change your life, change what you are thinking about. This involves a deli...	carewithann	4	688	Aug 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	First-time poster and struggling (Preview) So, this is my first time posting--I only found this forum two days ago after a Google search. I wasn't sure if I should post a comment on a similar board or make a new post. A lot of the other threads helped me, but I want to share my own...story? I need help. I'm 26, and my partner has been sober 3 and a half mon...	Kab915	5	675	Aug 27, 2015 by a4l
	Unsure of what to do... (Preview) Hi Everyone, Update portion: last weekend, I went to my hometown to help my sister move. My AW came with, and that was incredibly helpful. My sister is going through a divorce, and that is not easy. We had one day to pack and get her things out, and we did it! My parents have a garage full, a friend of hers ha...	Skorpi	8	828	Aug 26, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	...but not if you are married to an alcoholic... (Preview) lately on social media I have been reading a lot of positive, encouraging devotional-type articles, dealing with kids, marriage and life in general. I have a couple that I follow, who do marriage workshops, and their posts are always very uplifting but I always say in my mind after I read them "b...	Fairlee	10	791	Aug 26, 2015 by andromeda
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.