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New here...need advice.
(Preview)
i recently started therapy... Because I'm having so much anxiety dealing with my life. I am married to a functioning alcoholic.. he works for days at a time ( stays at work 3 & 4) days at a time. He comes home in evening and brings home 3 24oz beers 2 shots of whatever.... To relax from being gone. I liv...
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Pln
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7
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658
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awareness comming
(Preview)
I have been still reading this board and its like I am seeing I am settling for less than I deserve. I find I have a hard time accepting that my abf has been legally married and divorced 3 times and now he wants us to get married. I just can not let go of the fact he has been legally married and divorced 3 times al...
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joker
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1
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610
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I Woke Up Sick......Darn It!!!
(Preview)
So - I am one who functions best when I am structured. Needless to say, my day has been way different than planned. I woke up almost 2 hours later than usual. That, by itself, can cause me stress as I always have this nagging pull that I should be up, active, etc. So, when I rolled out of bed and stood uprig...
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Iamhere
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28
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865
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Yes I really did that!!
(Preview)
and it felt sooo normal and usual. I got a meeting tonight and can't wait. What did I do? A driver wasn't reading the signs and has poor information and a huge truck and in the process of denying me the right of way I honked my horn to get his attention. I got the attention of all in the truck and heads p...
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Jerry F
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7
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902
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Relapse
(Preview)
My AH has been working his program for a little over 90 days. I thought everything has been getting more positive over the last few weeks. We even made love which hasnt happened in over 90 days. We were starting to enjoy eachother's company again....until last night when I stumbled upon his supply of be...
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EarlyBird
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6
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781
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Update - still sane(ish)
(Preview)
Quick update. I'm moving away from the area I did rehab in to go home. I'm excited and nervous. My female friend is now sober but relying quite heavily on Valium and is understandably depressed. Aside from a couple of texts there's been no other contact. Trying to detach with love! Sadly one of the guys I...
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PaulF
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3
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561
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Al-Anon Acronym For 8/29/15 ... H.O.P.E.
(Preview)
HOPE: Happy. Our. Program. Exists.The first gift a newcomer receives from contact with Al-Anon is hope. Seeing how other rise above their problems, listening to situations worse than their own, absorbing the atmosphere of love and goodwill, send them home with a new lease on life. (One Day At a...
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Debb
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11
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851
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Two for one special - FAITH and HOPE !!!
(Preview)
One of my Al Anon friends that's struggling with an adult child situation (like me), told me a story the other day that I just had to share with everyone - her story gave me an instant shot of faith and hope - perhaps someone here can use a bit of that, too . . . Her son is in his early 30s, lives across the countr...
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texas yankee
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19
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870
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Need some hope and help...
(Preview)
Hi, all! I'm new to the forum, however not so new to dealing with a recovering alcoholic. As a little bit of background, I began my relationship with the RA in my life two years ago. It was my first experience dealing with an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise. What an experience. In two years' time, I'v...
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lafox48
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6
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661
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Wisdom for today 8/30/15 – The Three C’s
(Preview)
The Three Cs - You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!Codependency No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself~Melody BeattieMs. Beattie writes: When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled...
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Debb
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4
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765
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C2C 8-30
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 30 speaks about making daily gratitude lists as well as other Al-Anon tools that can offer many positive results in our attitude and therefore our lives. It points out that when we are unhappy we should take a moment and realize that much of our own happiness is due to negati...
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hotrod
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3
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594
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C2C 8-31
(Preview)
C2C reading for August 31, highlights the importance of keeping the focus on ourselves, honestly examining our motives so that we do not attempt to change other people to suit our desires. It points out that prior to program we may have chosen someone who we felt would always be there for us but wou...
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hotrod
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2
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526
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hallucinations - alcoholism or something else?
(Preview)
My mother is in a binge and has been having full blown hallucinations. One night she was in her lounge room and suddenly felt like she was in a jungle. She could see the jungle, feel it, smell it - in her reality, she was there. And she was all tangled in the foliage. Another night she hallucinated that she...
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hiraeth
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16
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1865
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oh it never ends
(Preview)
I been out of an alcoholic relationship for over 30 yrs I was married at 16 to an alcoholic and stayed 14 yrs l left work on myself married a wonderful man happy healthy marriage for 25 yrs he passed away over 2 yrs ago .I am in another healthy relationship and we our happy I live in fl .I Never bother anyone up...
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bailyboo
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3
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623
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Realization why
(Preview)
I have been reading a lot about alcoholism and I have been pondering why do I stay with ABF and not move on...I was in deep thought today and the answer came to me like this...I am not afraid of being alone, living alone...in fact I enjoy living alone and spending time alone. What I am afraid of is men and the...
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joker
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6
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660
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Sigh, what would you guys do?
(Preview)
Gah. I mentioned I'd picked up a new delivery job that was meant to pay pretty well for pleb work. The guy said, basically, it would take me about 1 hour to stack and roll the material and then 2 hours to deliver it, for a weekly amount of $60-70. Add in driving to pick the stuff up and $2 for rubber bands and th...
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missmeliss
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8
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596
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Hard to remember that he 'numbed' himself of all emotions
(Preview)
So I have been feeling upset that my A boyfriend has been depressed and won't seem to get out of it. I have to try to remember that with our relationship in particular it must be difficult at times and he has told me because it is all really new to him because of years he was an Alcoholic and didn't deal with li...
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catlover26
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4
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645
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Remarrying a recovering alcoholic
(Preview)
I joined this group to try to get other people's perspective on my situation. I was married to an alcoholic for almost 10 years. I truly love him more than anything, and we had 3 kids together. I divorced after his drinking became progressive and he started to become verbally violent. The past 6 years, I...
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bebe_bethany
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10
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981
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Batten down the hatches JerryF!
(Preview)
I see the tropical storm is just on top of you, we all hope everything turns out OK. HP is in control!! Kenny
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KennyFenderjazz
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5
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540
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C2C 8-29
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 29 speaks about our regrets as we review our memories of past mistakes or mimissedjudgments. It points out that in Step Eight we will discover a means to release ourselves from unrelenting guilt. The reading suggests that the step asks us to make a list of all people we had h...
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hotrod
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2
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597
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C2C 8-26
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 28 speaks about finding a sponsor in Al-Anon. It suggests that many of us have never dared to trust another person so that having the courage to reach out and ask someone to sponsor us is a huge step towards our recovery. As the result of living with this disease, many feel we...
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hotrod
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9
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703
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Curious disease... why do A's want a magic wand?
(Preview)
As I learn more about this disease of mine and my AH I realize a pattern of thought and action. He wants to take the path of least resistance, do the work 1/2 way and or half a**. He wants HP to just show up in his life like a magic gene where he will then list off everything he wants (more than 3 wishes ) and Wa...
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LedfootJenny
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14
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843
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HP has a "wicked" sense of humor!
(Preview)
(wink wink). I wanted to share something happy and uplifting and less "curious" than my last post. Several weeks ago my AH and I were scrambling to find a new home. Two offers fell through last minute and we had no where to go. I mean truthfully couldn't even find an apartment. On fathers...
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LedfootJenny
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4
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669
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so I hit a rough patch...
(Preview)
...not sure who wrote this.. but I printed it and have been carrying it around reading it frequently throughout the past week...1. Pain is part of growing.Sometimes life closes doors because its time to move forward. And thats a good thing because we often wont move unless circumstances force us...
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Mari1978
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2
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771
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I am waiting
(Preview)
A son, who is also bi polar, is in the 9th day of his cycle. He keeps texting me. His partner and their 3 month old went to a friends. He is alone in their house. He texted that she is going to the police to get him out of the house. He has missed this whole week of the best job he has ever had. I don't know if the job w...
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laurab
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4
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746
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Hurry up and wait ..
(Preview)
PPPHHHHHFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's about how I feel about that!! I keep telling myself that no news could possibly be good news and there is one more interview .. which kind of sucks because she was in such a hurry when she interviewed me I didn't feel like I had any time to...
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SerenityRUS
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8
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767
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Al-Anon Acronym For 8/28/15 ... F.E.A.R.
(Preview)
FEAR: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. In Al-Anon, the answer to What if? Is: Dont project! Dont imagine the worst; deal with your problems as they arise. Live one day at a time. I cannot do anything about things that havent happened; I will not let the past experiences make me dread the unknown...
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Debb
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7
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1128
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Differentiating between hope and expectation
(Preview)
I could probably start a million different threads about the million different things running through my head, but I'll try to keep this one focused. I know one of the tenets of Al Anon is to let go of expectations...expectations lead to disappointment and resentment...etc. I think I'm having troub...
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RealitySucker
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16
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3815
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I'm getting in there again....
(Preview)
Unfortunately I am getting in there again and failing to detach. Forgetting all the things I need to in order to have a serene life. Not letting go and not letting God and its doing me immense damage. Going to cancel a few things this weekend and give myself some space to think of me.
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maire rua
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3
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534
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I think he's cheating
(Preview)
The other night I caught my husband of 22 years in a compromising position. Some people had been saying things to me about an ex flame of his chasing him. I wasn't worried because he has never been a cheater, at least as far as I know, but things have gotten bad between us since I told him I was done putting up...
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JukuVee
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16
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844
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In my head
(Preview)
I went to the dentist this afternoon. My teeth have felt sensitive. Dentist told me I am grinding my teeth so much that they are cracking. He had to repair one. He told me to go to Florida and sit by a pool! This put me in touch with my anger - at my AH. Of course it is HIS fault this is happening. Then the recept...
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Billie
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7
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709
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Work Decision
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I received a job offer last week and am still in the process of negotiating. In the meantime, I had another interview the same week for another position. I have interest in that position also. They will be offering second interviews. The timing isn't very good. I will likely have to ac...
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tiredtonite
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16
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905
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What's the craziest thing your alcoholic person has ever done?
(Preview)
For example, I once knew an alcoholic who was refused service from the liquor store at a trailer park out in the middle of nowhere. He went home and ruminated on the injustice, then in the dead of night, drunk off his mind, drove his truck straight through the windows of the liquor store in a dual act of rev...
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hiraeth
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18
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980
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attitude changing as I let go
(Preview)
I have just had an oh my moment of realization. I have been working on cleaning the clutter in my house. I do mean cleaning. Taking loads of STUFF to the dump and even had a garage sale. I have found letting go of the junk around the house has been helping me learn the concept of LETTING GO and how free I feel af...
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joker
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6
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629
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One foot in front of the other.
(Preview)
Ex husband calls my phone tonight. I hand it to daughter to answer. I have already spoken to him this week, already made arrangements and compromises so that she can spend fathers day with him next week and I'm quite sure we are all in agreement and satisfied with arrangements. I don't want or need to tal...
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missmeliss
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11
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640
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C2C 8-27
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about attending our first Al-Anon meeting. Many of us were disappointed because we were not given a list telling us "how to fix the alcoholic". Instead we are given the 12 steps with the suggestion that we focus on ourselves and use the steps to recover...
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hotrod
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3
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583
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Al-Anon Acronym For 8/27/15 ... H.A.L.T.
(Preview)
HALT if youre : Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Be aware when these four physical or emotion conditions arise. When these do arise we are in a vulnerable position to have a severe emotional react.Realizing that to react to quickly only puts me in a defensive position, which is not a healthy place...
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Debb
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2
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2433
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Reduce Stress, live in Peace
(Preview)
I stumbled across this today, thought I should share it.. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think because the way you think determines how you feel and the way you act. If you want to change your life, change what you are thinking about. This involves a deli...
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carewithann
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4
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640
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First-time poster and struggling
(Preview)
So, this is my first time posting--I only found this forum two days ago after a Google search. I wasn't sure if I should post a comment on a similar board or make a new post. A lot of the other threads helped me, but I want to share my own...story? I need help. I'm 26, and my partner has been sober 3 and a half mon...
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Kab915
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5
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631
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Unsure of what to do...
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Update portion: last weekend, I went to my hometown to help my sister move. My AW came with, and that was incredibly helpful. My sister is going through a divorce, and that is not easy. We had one day to pack and get her things out, and we did it! My parents have a garage full, a friend of hers ha...
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Skorpi
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8
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770
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...but not if you are married to an alcoholic...
(Preview)
lately on social media I have been reading a lot of positive, encouraging devotional-type articles, dealing with kids, marriage and life in general. I have a couple that I follow, who do marriage workshops, and their posts are always very uplifting but I always say in my mind after I read them "b...
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Fairlee
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10
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739
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C2C 8-26
(Preview)
The C2C reading for August 26 speaks in great detail about the negative tool of :"Denial". It points out that denial is one of the chief symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism. Some of us can deny our participation in the problem and either s blame the alcoholic for all our problem...
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hotrod
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4
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648
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More learning experiences
(Preview)
When I decided to start this program I realized how isolated I had become and one of my goals was to develop friendships.I have a neighbor who I talked to occasionally,we started doing things together,going out to lunch,etc.Her son and daughter also work at the same place my daughter works at.She cam...
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mjferg
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9
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668
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Make your life great
(Preview)
These are random musings from what I have learned over several years in recovery : Choose happiness. Don't settle for less than you want in life. Accept things you can't change, but don't forget to change the things you can and want to. Remember you have choices and can choose to not be miserable. You...
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pinkchip
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18
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1007
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Need to vent
(Preview)
I am reading the posts again and I can so relate to everyone's story. I have been working hard on focusing on me and my wants and needs. I feel regret for getting myself mixed up with an alcoholic. Its been a year and 3 months now and alcoholic bf has been sober for only 1 month in that time period. He knows abo...
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joker
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2
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890
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I'm Sorry???
(Preview)
So I have been very distant with my AH the last couple weeks. When he drinks and says rude things to me he never apologizes and like I have said before I have built a wall. Anyhow, today he texts me asking me what he has done? I told him that I have been quiet because I don't want to argue and that the things t...
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confused2015
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19
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872
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Born into Alcoholism and Drug Addicts
(Preview)
I am 54 years old and have been around alcoholics my whole life, I was picked on all through school until I hit highschool and would come home and be verbally abused by my Mother, I was married to an alcoholic for 18 yrs, then met a Drug Addict and was with him for 8 yrs and then 7 yrs ago I met a man online, we wou...
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Mystery
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7
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479
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Al-Anon Acronym For 8/26/15 ... L.O.V.E.
(Preview)
L.O.V.E. Let. Others. Voluntarily. Evolve.The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island) Pure and simply, L.O.VE. means no mani...
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Debb
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5
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1102
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weathering the storm
(Preview)
Well,I have posted before about a situation in my life that was causing problems,basically it was an issue with my daughter's boyfriend moving in and taking advantage of me,To explain, the night he came to my house,his father was drunk and they were fighting so I felt sorry for him and I ended up being m...
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mjferg
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7
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712
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Lost serenity but gained a little clarity.
(Preview)
I realized today that I need to spit out the damn Kool-Aid I'm drinking. I have this idea in my head that just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean we won't be great "co-parents" together. My ex buys it (more like sells it) too, and hands me the sunny looking pamphlet about what...
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littlelionman
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5
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519
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Al-Anon Acronym For 8/25/15 ... HOW
(Preview)
HOW . Honest. Open. Willing.Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness are the three primary principles in laying down a solid foundation for recovery. Honest with oneself. Being open to Power Greater than our selves and willing to take certain steps Three, important personality traits, ne...
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Debb
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13
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3335
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it is doable
(Preview)
I am trying a new thing today; changing my font size. It just seems logical to make it easier for myself to communicate on here. So, I am doing better just sitting here. So, the latest is my mom came & went real quick. I am not sure how well it went because I think she was at her best & that made me uncom...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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525
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New Life ..
(Preview)
It's not all roses I'm going to say that .. it is so much better than it was and the kids and I are literally living one day at a time. I can't begin to tell you all what it has meant to us. It is totally scary, thrilling and full of wonder every day .. so much better than dealing with the XAH .. lol .. and probabl...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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634
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Hope for Today August 25
(Preview)
This reading speaks about the result of growing up in an alcoholic home - the traits that were nourished because of growing up in an environment in which the writer felt very alone. The writer mentions the tendency to limit awareness of people and circumstances, to look only straight ahead and not a...
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yanksfan51
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6
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800
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Friend Situation ..
(Preview)
My friends son is out of the hospital however he's not ok. OMGOSH it is sooo hard not to say something and just listen. She got a big reality shock when he came home to recover for a few days. He's much more into the drinking than she knew because after all she could control if he was getting alcohol or not...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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496
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Update
(Preview)
I just came to check in and see how everyone is doing????
I have been a little busy (the good kind) .... Focusing on eating healthy, and exercise
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Truth
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10
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731
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negativity
(Preview)
For as long as I can remember, I have been referred to as being negative. I have often argued that truth is truth and therefore not positive or negative and I still believe/agree with this to some degree. My perception of truth has changed though and I pray for the better. What I have noticed is that my &...
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Doingmybest
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5
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795
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Delightfully Humbled...
(Preview)
I have a Dear Sweet Al-Anon Friend that called me to her Home because she felt She owed me an Amends... Now mind you I have been Racking my Brain All day trying to figure out what that may be... And I'm Humbled to Say... She is Just Amazing, Just so graceful, Kind, and Even when She was Telling me of Her Short C...
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Jozie
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3
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640
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Still Learning ;)
(Preview)
Hello Family <3 I want to Thank you All for Lifting Me Up from Last week, I Feel More balanced today even tho still struggling with everyday Stuff... My Son Gave a Surprise (I have Laundry) Visit this Weekend, and After Sitting down with him and Spending some time Listening about his First Week as a Co...
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Jozie
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6
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690
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New to board- for my kids
(Preview)
I am new to this board and going to my first meeting on Tuesday. I have been married to an alcoholic for 7 years. He has been sober for most of our marriage with two short relapses. This one was the worst and he left the house Sunday. We have 3 kids under the age of 6. If it wasn't for them I would never have him ba...
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Luna22
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9
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620
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