The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading speaks about the result of growing up in an alcoholic home - the traits that were nourished because of growing up in an environment in which the writer felt very alone. The writer mentions the tendency to limit awareness of people and circumstances, to look only straight ahead and not all around. The reading goes on to say how the Traditions are an encouragement to look all around ourselves, and specifically with Tradition One in mind-that we have all come together as family and friends of alcoholics in search of help and recovery. In the last paragraph the writer mentions how much the 12th step helped - in carrying the message to others in need, so much is gained in terms of wider vision and acceptance of others.
For me this reading made me think of the traits that help us in survival mode moving toward the assets that help us when we are thriving. Only able to look straight ahead, living with a tunnel vision=survival; the ability to consider those around us with a wider vision=thriving. The inability to care for ourselves=barely surviving; being able to share experience, strength and hope with others=health and recovery.
Overall this reading is about widening awareness. Today I will work on seeing what is all around me. I hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday!
Thank you Mary, such an inspiring post. I did not grow up in an alcoholic home, so when I married my AH at 55 years old, it took quiet a while for me to figure out what was causing the chaos/drama, took about 13 years to to find Al-anon and the answers and help I needed. I can definitely see the steps and progression from survival, to thriving and then to health and recovery. Al-anon is amazing and so happy to be healthy again!!
xoxoxo
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
HI Mary , Thanks for posting this meditation today I never really thought about this and now I see how that "tunnel vision", refusing to truly see, was one of my most powerful survival tools that served me well as I grew up.
Learning how to use the Steps and Traditions in an all encompassing manner, enabled me to think, know and feel reality so I could let go of my denial and pretend tools and actually live life on life's terms with trust in HP an the ability to share the journey with other like minded people.
Thanks alanon .
Thanks for your service Mary .
Hi Mary,
Thank you for sharing. I am relatively new to my program and muddling through steps 1-3 as I attend meetings and seek a sponsor. I've heard a lot of talk about Step work, I've followed the steps board and I am reading Paths to Recovery. Can someone please explain how we go about 'working' the traditions? Does that come after the steps?
Thanks again for sharing. I definitely grew up with tunnel vision and am just starting to look around.
i can only speak for me in answering your question about steps and traditions: it took me a little over one year to work the steps with a sponsor. After about 6 months we decided to work through traditions in a similar way. In my case we used the book Paths to Recovery as a guide for both the steps and traditions.
Stillsmillin, the traditions focus on the Al-anon membership and you can work
the steps first and familiarize yourself with the traditions (they are good to know)
at the same time, especially at meetings and when you post to the board.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
I too thank you for the daily and your ESH! I did not grow up in an alcoholic home, but the disease was active in both Grandfathers, so my parents were. It's amazing to me as I look back how their experience and upbringing contributed to the way our home functioned/felt. This disease is so far reaching that even with a generational skip, many of the characteristics/behaviors were still present.
I too can relate to that tunnel-vision approach to life and survival. At that phase, it all appeared ok.....It is in hind-sight that I realize how much of the world/others I truly missed. I am so grateful for this program that shows me how to look at me, how to understand me and how to improve me. I still at times stand in awe at the changes I make and how it affects my world, my home, etc. - larger than me!
My sponsor explained to me that the traditions intend to help the fellowship 'be' and the steps intend to help the participant 'be'. Both are guidelines for healthy living and recovery - just the target audience is a bit different. That helped me to understand how what I do as an individual can affect the group....and let me know that there is no 'president', etc. but rather trusted servants who serve for the good of the whole.
Thanks to all for your shares and ESH!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
