The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for August 22 speaks about examining our motives so as we can truly uncover -why we say what we say and do what we do . It points out that once we engage in this activity,we may find that" fear" has ruled our lives. We were afraid to say" no"-, We were afraid to stand up for ourselves, We were afraid to be angry.
Because of this pervasive fear many of us find the slogans truly help us when fear overcomes us. The simple statement "Came to believe" is recommended as a powerful slogan to combat fear as is the serenity prayer. It suggests that before taking any action we need only remind ourselves that we are in the care of HP and that we will be guided.
The quote is from Alateen day at a time; We turn our will and life over to the care of God as we understood him. A Higher Power is like a friend really cares about us and wants to share our problems.
I know before I knew how to look within and discover myself, find my drivers and destructive thoughts- I believed that I had a great deal of courage and never felt fear. Wrong, what I found was, I felt fear- converted it to anger at others and blamed them and their actions.
Alanon explained that feeling fear was necessary- it kept me safe in unsafe situations and prompted me to act responsibility . Alanon gave me the tools to act in a responsible fashion with courage in spite of the fear . I found that :"Courage is fear that has said it's prayers"
Examining my motives is now a daily activity as it keeps me growing.
I Love this reading and relate a ton to what you wrote Betty. I thought I was strong, independent and self-sufficient. What I learned during my step work is that I am strong, independent and self-sufficient....but fear makes me take those and other assets and magnify them or diminish them to the point where I am crazy/insane. I too when I looked back at what possessed me in many situation to act as I did and be as I was, and it was always, I repeat always fear based.
When my feelings were hurt, I should have been sad. Instead - I showed anger.
When my children blew off curfew, I showed anger. I was actually extremely worried.
When my AH would disappear for days, I showed anger, and often times I was worried and also felt abandoned, afraid and lonely.
Fear is such a huge element from my inventory that I have to consider often when I am disturbed.
I love the Courage is Fears.... - that's such a great and profound reality!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
