The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welcome to MIP! Glad you found us and so glad you posted.
The program of Al-Anon will give you the tools and steps needed to detach with love and make boundaries that allow you to enjoy your life in spite of this disease. I am so sorry that you're touched by it, but there is hope and solutions in recovery.
You can look online to find local Al-Anon meetings. I suggest you try 6 meetings before you decide if it's what you want/need in your efforts to understand and live with this disease.
We have two meetings online here twice daily. If you look to the top left, you'll see the schedule and the link to the meeting/chat room.
Know that you are not alone - 2 of my qualifiers are my sons. One is currently in recovery and the other is not - he's in active addiction.
(((Hugs))) to you - keep coming back - we're just a post away!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((Annoner ))) I so understand the pain and anxiety that you are expereincing as you attempt to deal with the dreadful disease of alcoholism in your child . I too am a parent of a child with alcoholism and have struggled to detach and let go even though i thought it would kill me.
We are really powerless over people, places and things and once I accepted this fully, I came to understand that alcoholism was a poweerful disease and that I needed to take care of my own mental health before I crashed from the concern for my child. Alanon meetings, tools and members all helped .
((Anonner)) Welcome. I too am the parent of an alcoholic child. My daughter is currently abusing substances and refuses to get help. She avoids us and basically shuts us out of her life. It is very very painful and I have struggled immensely as all parents do to let go of her and not cushion her fall. Some days are better then others, my job is to get through them the best way I can. One particular thing that helps me is to remind myself she has her own hp. I am not it. I also have my own and we will both be taken care of. Somehow this comforts me a little when my imagination runs wild about all the terrible things that may can or will happen to her. I have found a great deal of wisdom strength and good old fashioned common sense on this message board and the online meetings. I hope you do to.
I have a 30 year old son that has alcohol and substance issues - he has untreated depression issues, too, I believe - I am embarrassed and ashamed at the length of time that I tried to run his life, make his decisions for him, and fix what I thought was wrong with his life - I was playing God in his life for so long - one day, while sitting in an Al Anon meeting, I experienced a moment of clarity (God talking to me) and realized that not one thing I had done to fix my son's broken life had made any difference - not one bit of difference at all - and because of that, I had robbed him of the chance to experience his life on life's terms and learn from his mistakes - I had been praying for the strength to do what I knew I needed to do, and THAT realization brought me to where I needed to be - I finally detached with love, and wonder of all wonders, after a year, my adult son is still alive, living his own life, and making his own decisions, good and bad - he's learning how to figure it all out - one thing I am certain of - I can't do it for him, or anyone else.
Ask your HP for guidance and strength - and keep asking - LOL, in my case, the guidance came long before I found the strength to do what I needed to do - I still feel pain that my son is where he is right now, but I feel right that I did what I needed to do - better late than never.
