The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is...
"Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood
Today's reminder says:
"Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of self-love, not as a weapon to use against myself. When I begin to accept myself exactly as I am, life will feel a lot more gentle."
The general text talks about a billboard in town that reads, "Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink. Some come to gargle." The writer then compares their pre-program self to her way of being with the program.
The pre-program self would have analyzed which they were - a drinker or a gargler. Life was either black or white and knowing which was necessary for comfort. Either choice still did not feel right, so then the desire to fix/control came forward.
For the writer, the program allows flexibility in that assessment and the realization that sometimes she's a gargler and other times, she's a drinker. The writer also shares that every now and then, she stubs her toe on the way to the fountain. The ultimate message - we don't have to do better or differently. The best we have and can do is good enough. We can relax and enjoy life on life's terms.
I so relate to the way the writer discusses her growth and change. Before this program, things were either right/wrong or black/white - I did not know how to think or process with shades of gray. I am so grateful that this program offers me shades of gray that are often much better outcomes that I ever would have considered before.
Between my HP, the steps, a great sponsor and a marvelous fellowship, I can be me and let those around me be them. We will not align and we will not always gel but this program has taught me that I can still love someone even if I don't like or respect elements of their path. What a great gift!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
One of the most difficult things for me to do, accept myself exactly as I am. I find, as you well know my friend, I worry that I am not reacting in a loving and compassionate way. Fixing and controlling me sometimes is stressful, accepting that I don't have to be better or different doesn't occur to me! Doing good enough and relaxing, can I actually do that? LOL Shades of gray sounds perfect. I too am so grateful that Al-anon showed me how to still love my AH, even though I don't like the drinking or the way he acts when he drinks, it is a gift indeed. Thank you for a very insightful post today!!! {{HUGS}}
-- Edited by Debb on Thursday 20th of August 2015 07:53:50 PM
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
I must clarify (humor here family) that Shades of Gray in my thinking DO NOT ALIGN WITH SHADES OF GRAY - the book(s) and movie!!! Ha.ha.ha.ha.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I knew that!!! Ya know I did try to read that book, got it from my 81 year old mother!! Got through the first five chapters and abandon it. Don't care if it had a good story behind the reasons for that S&M stuff, not my thing at all!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
I didn't even try to read it....I figured it was so popular that it was a fad thing and opted out!!!
Not my thing either girl!! Just thought I'd add a funny!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
