Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

notsureanymore · notsureanymore

Hi My husband is an alcoholic. We have been through many issues with this problem. It was so bad a few years ago that he lost his job and was not interested in anything except getting drunk. I finally gave him an ultimatum, either stop drinking and get a job or leave. He chose to get a job. He is now work...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for December 6 speaks about anger. It points out that the feeling of anger did give us the illusion of power for a little while but that kind of false security always was short lived and then pain of the guilt and shame followedI must point out that when I worked my first 4th step I discovered t...

GypsyGirl · GypsyGirl

my husband has been clean and sober for 25 years. He claims our sex issues have always been a problem for him (ED, Low libido, other problems). Is that common with recovered alcoholics? Does the years of alcohol abuse ruin the way your body reacts and performs sexually. I don't know much about alcoholi...

OceanTide · OceanTide

XA just emailed me. Like a status update of his life and how some of his past caught up with him. Totally irrelevant to my life...part of me wants to reply and say sorry to hear, too bad on that, and congrats on another chip. I MUST NOT REPLY. My side of the street is quiet and life is calm. Grief is hard, but no...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for December 5 is a powerful reading that points out the value of "gratitude." It suggests that many of us are so busy looking at the negative happenings of our lives that we neglect to look at what is good and rewarding these include our family, friends, children and furry crea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I just wanted to pause and tell each of you that I hope you have a great day! I also wanted to wish you each a peaceful and serene weekend! Some of you know that I took a risk, and went to the lake for a girls weekend with High School friends. Mind you, I've been out of High School for 35+ years, so it was a bit sc...

joker · joker

I am so grateful for this board. I feel I belong now and can so relate to all the stories. I have work to do on myself. I have been working on my 4th step and its been good, I have work to do on myself. My Abf by the grace of god is now going on 3 months sobriety. This is a man that could not stay sober for more than 3 da...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Divirce papers should be ready in a week. Im feeling odd. I dont belong anywhere. Im staying at house until something is legally binding. . In about another week. I have everything moved but me, my clothes and wellmy daughter. Sges not helping. . Didnt expect she would. . Jyst not sure how to proceed on T...

KT2015 · KT2015

So my AH really wanted to come to my work holiday party. I would rather go on my own to be honest. I have always felt that way about work events. Anyway, he insisted so I am bringing him tonight. So this afternoon I was working from home. He has taken the afternoon off. I go into the kitchen after somet...

OhioWriter · OhioWriter

My AH stopped drinking 3 months ago. I'm proud of him for stopping (health reasons) but what a change in him. I know he's knew at sobriety, but on a typical day he comes home and goes to bed to watch Shark Tank. Every day. He rarely leaves the bedroom. We've only been married a few years and most of our free t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

make living with an alcoholic addict seem mind heh? Is the foreign spammer being put to boundary? I would do it and don't know how....I'm powerless.

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about "feelings". It points out that many of us make choices based on our" feelings," thinking, incorrectly that feelings are facts.For example, . If we're frightened about taking an action then we have avoided it. By so doing we leave n...

a4l · a4l

I tried. I really, really tried. But I could not be the better person. For most of my adult life, I have been determined not to be the one who blamed her parents for her shortcomings. And I still do not hold her responsible for my choices. I own those. Yet, when I cast an eye back, I didn't have too much of...

Mink · Mink

Hi Everyone! I am new here and new to al-anon. Im not sure how to go about all this.. So I will start with telling a bit of my history. I have been married to a high functioning alcoholic for 25 years. He has a very good job and supports his family well. His drinking never affects his job. However, the m...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Thanksgiving weekend for AH was an epic bender that ended with me threatening to call the police if he came back to the house (from a day at the bars). He had been horrible and intoxicated since Tuesday and was now threatening to throw our house guests to the curb because my brother-in-law used AH's favo...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello everyone, I had a conversation with my AH in which I told him basically that I was done. I would like him to get treatment, gave him the names and tel numbers of some good inpatient rehab detox centers and then said I hoped that he would go. I did not issue any ultimatum but told him the kids and I are a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It is that time of the year when reflection on our recovery tools is practiced. The readings for December 1 in both books for me is right on and brought a lot of gratitude I have for the program with memories of how it all started. If you have the readers I invite you to review the writings from our other m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 3 speaks about meditation. The reading points out that Al-Anon does not tell us how to meditate but suggests that we can draw on the experiences of other Al-Anon members to find out what would work for us. It points out that some people practice meditation by remember...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I pulled my phone out in an AA meeting today. In this particular meeting, it's not unusual to see people doing this though in other meetings around town, I would not. Anyhow, this person new to the meeting with 30 days sober took it upon themselves to lecture me about it and then I overheard him going up to...

missmeliss · missmeliss

ABF and I are getting along like a house on fire. It's super romantic and sweet. I love you SO much. I miss you. He comes to stay for maybe 5 days each month now and we are all over each other. And I have to be real and honest with myself; it's all of the good stuff and none of the bad. There is no reality; our relat...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hello, it's been awhile since I posted. My ah moved out in July and has been taking meds and seeing specialist and maybe has been sober two months this time. Before the holidays my family where all going to be in different places and I was going to run up to the mountains by myself. Then my ah and I were getti...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

hi there, I have been in al-anon for about 1 1/2 years. My qualifiers are many, but my most frustrating issue to deal with is setting boundaries with my addict son. My husband does not attend al-anon so he does not have the same insight as I do.... Thanks to al-anon. my addict son is clearly not working a pr...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

um. Yeah... My ex Abf of 4 years decided to start AA. Stopped drinking. We had moved in together in August. Deep breaths here, lol. Ended badly this week. As it goes, he slowly stopped meetings due to his work schedule and started telling me he wasn't an A and didn't want to go to meetings and this 90 days t...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I found out today that my ABF has been checking to see if I am where I say I am. As far as I know he has never done that before. I have never given him a reason to think I might lie. The only thing I can think is he thinks I'm seeing someone else. However that is not the case I am very much in love with my boyfriend....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for 12- 2 speaks about the slogan "Let it begin with me" It points out that instead of spending time blaming, judging, critiquing others, we could turn our attention and focus back on to ourselves and see what in me needs changing. That by changing ourselves we truly...

lookingup · lookingup

I do have many atutile problems and bad behavior patterns left without any trust after several relationship breakups,I know it's got to be me not all them,I love the man I'm with now but he has his issues ,but my idea of a relationship should be ,isn't what I get I'm thinking a knight in shineing armor,ha...

lgnutah · lgnutah

On Sunday, at church the pastor preached on "Hope". Hope is such a wonderful, uplifting concept. But is hope sometime just a fantasy created by me? I realized that hope; my hope, my wish, my desire, my fantasy that my A will stop being an A, and will somehow turn back into that sweet, gentle...

wp · wp

I haven't posted here for a very long time. Today I'm working hard to stay calm and let go of small resentments. The A has been sober for a couple of years for which I'm super grateful. Without a program his old ways pop up now and then especially at his former "down time" 5 oclock! ...

AnnM · AnnM

I was awakened this morning by my mother calling. She almost never calls and she has recently been having some health issues, so my first thought was that something had happened to her and her husband was using her phone to let me know. (I like him, but he wasn't the man who raised me, so feel a little weird...

marie57 · marie57

I regularly attended alanon years ago. Besides reading here regularly, I am considering attending local meetings again. I have been with my husband for 30 years. He has been an active drinker for as long as I have known him and I learned detachment a long time ago. In the past year he has developed quite...

a4l · a4l

So my mother is coming to visit from overseas. She asked if that will be alright, and that she misses us. I have already said I'm not going to discuss family, men and a few other things. But I was happy to talk about kids, outsiders, work and life in general. I feel sad though. Its funny when you redefine a re...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I have been overwhelmed with anxiety today. I'm trying very hard to clear my head and breath but its hard. Being in love with an addict is a heavy thing. It does not help that I am not well enough to know how to deal with this and the uncertainty in my life. I know I have to give it over to my HP but sometimes the t...

Broken513 · Broken513

I thought I was doing good! I thought I used my tools well last week after my dog was killed. However I have realized I am still blaming both myself and my AH for what happened. I had to make a choice that day, go to the grocery store which would have taken me maybe an hour...or go see my mother who I had not seen...

Kate19 · Kate19

I attended an AA meeting with my husband last night where he picked up his second white chip. His first was last year about this time and he was sober for 3 months before he relapsed. This last period of drinking had progressed very quickly. For the first time in our marriage A became a serious problem. I s...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Here we go back on the merrygoround again.....I know advice is not usually given on these boards but I was just wodering if anyone has any experience having a spouse removed from the home without having them arrested or a restraining order which is permanent. I moved out with my two girls a year ago due t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sometimes difficult concept of detachment with love. Just as the writer acknowledged, when I first came into the program I also thought about detachment as cold, uncaring, the opposite of love. As I have worked my own recovery and understood mor...

cspwil · cspwil

So my ah has been sober for about 2 weeks. Today he exploded on me....which I was able to use my boundaries and remove myself from the situation. Well he ended up going out and I am pretty sure he went to the liquor store and bought himself something to drink. Hes home now and being distant which I'm letti...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm finding myself picking arguments with my mate or ab,he don't drink very much anymore since he has gotten some health issues but as I was thinking it was all him my sister pointed out to me that my ab can't do nothing right that I don't fuss on him everyday ,I've since caught myself doing this very thing...

Smama · Smama

I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore. I am a mother of 3 little girls and another one on the way. I home school my children and do not work. My husband of 7 years is an alcoholic mostly at night during weekdays and starts drinking in the noon on weekends, maybe once in a while he will have a day here...

OceanTide · OceanTide

I thought I would put a message out to the universe to get it off my chest and to HP. From there it is not mine anymore... Dear XABF, I was thinking of you and I hope you got your three-month chip today. I know 2015 has been a challenging year, but I hope you are gaining ground. I know you have struggled and I kno...

Seeking22 · Seeking22

Hi Everyone! I just signed up. DH left for inpatient treatment this weekend. We have a 10 month old. We met in recovery, I have almost 10 years sobriety. However, DH decided he could drink and smoke pot a few years ago and it has pretty much destroyed our marriage. There's no intimacy or trust. I don't kn...

bdlmom · bdlmom

Hello everyone....Newbie here! I am not a newbie to Al-Anon, as I do attend meetings when I can, but i'm a newbie here. I am wondering if anyone has had my experience and if so,would you please share so I can maybe get some guidance? I know we cannot give advice, but we can share our own experiences and tha...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Its midnight. I just had a very disturbing phone call from my husband last affair of two.years of which i found out about a month ago. We have been working with a mediator to avoid a drawn out ugly battle. . He claims of course he will change. . Not a chance. This woman, who was a family friend( who has been ha...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 30 speaks about learning from everyone who enters our lives. It points out that we are all connected and that is our great strength. Each person we meet can be a reflection of our better or worse qualities and there to enable us to work through conflicts that in the past w...

GypsyGirl · GypsyGirl

Greetings. I am new to the group. I a married a recovered alcoholic 2 yrs ago. He is a good man and we have a good marriage but I don't really understand how a recovered alcoholic thinks, or what they feel. He has some controlling tendencies and other issues that I've heard are linked to being a recovered a...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Love and thanks in advance to this wonderful group. My ah has been sober for 5 years, but he has had a slip about once per year. In those times, he has increased meeting attendance, immersed himself with extra meetings with sponsor, etc. but the slips have been huge, once involving violence toward me an...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 29 speaks about our incorrect ideas and opinions. It points out for example that many of us thought that being an adult meant we were in control, rigid, looking good on the outside, and not feeling what was going on inside and doing for others until we dropped. Al-Ano...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I spoke (quietly and firmly) to my AH almost a week ago now about a day when he went AWOL and ditched on a promise to one of the kids. I know it's the alcohol but he is still a parent here and I needed him to know that he dropped the ball on this one. I encouraged my son to talk with me about it, I validated his fee...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61255818/alanon...

lf · lf

My husband had bypass surgery almost two years ago. While recovering he started playing slots online. I didn't even know he was doing it until the bank called about something. When I looked at our bank account, I could not believe the damage he has caused. I brought it to his attention and he said it was n...

joker · joker

I started my 4th step and I am coming to a lot of realizations about my self and my behaviors. I have a lot of work to do to improve myself. What I have come to see is I am a very negative person, see the world as black and white, and I am very controlling and that I am very hard on myself and others!! I expect and e...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I came here looking for guidance nearly 5 years ago and then attended Al-Anon meetings briefly in my town but did not continue and I cannot remember why. Here I am now, 25 years in the same marriage with my AH and he has now started to change physically. He was a functional alcoholic for many y...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 28 speaks about working step four. It points out that as we list our character traits we become amazed to find that we often have mistaken destructive behavior for positive ones . For example,I know that I thought that taking care of everyone around me, worrying about oth...

AnnM · AnnM

I am new here and have only attended one al-anon meeting - years ago - and several meetings for family/loved ones of people who were in rehab (a previous relationship). I don't quite know how to start. I have been trying to leave the current relationship almost since I became involved with him. I hav...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

NORMALLY, I DONT LIKE TO GO INTO DETAIL BUT THE BONEHEAD INCIDENT AH IS INTO TONITE ALMOST TOPS HIS TOP BONEHEAD INCIDENTS IN THE PAST AH DRINKS CONTINUIALLY BUT HAD TO DO SOME BANK BUSINESS TODAY SO HE WAS SOMEWHAT SOBER. HE TAKES HIS CAR[HE HAS NO INSURANCE ON, NO PUFFER DEVICE AND RESTRICTED LISCENSE...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 27 speaks about being a survivor. It points out that we have faced many troubles in order to be where we are today.We must acknowledge that we are more than our troubles. We are human beings with dignity and with a wealth of experience, that we can use for sharing it with thos...

oceanpine · oceanpine

First of all, happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate Thanksgiving. And, to all of you, I want to express my gratitude for YOU. You are each a shining light, a fellow traveller on this often confusing journey of life, and so many of you selflessly give of your ESH over and over... I am truly grateful fo...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm so fed up don't no where to begin . I got back with my ex husband he seamed different I could tell he was working his steps he was going to meetings the house was at pease then he lost his job and things went down hill we were evicted from his appartment our house is in forcloser .time he wake up in the mornin...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well as im in the process of divorcing my ah. . .The days just get worse. . I could launch into the tactics he tries for keeping me, the hate he throws at me and the contiuned lies but many if you know the drill all too weell. So today we did seperate thanksgivings. . He went to friends my daughter and i to famil...

likemyheart · likemyheart

This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	what to do (Preview) Hi My husband is an alcoholic. We have been through many issues with this problem. It was so bad a few years ago that he lost his job and was not interested in anything except getting drunk. I finally gave him an ultimatum, either stop drinking and get a job or leave. He chose to get a job. He is now work...	notsureanymore	2	511	Dec 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 12-6 (Preview) C2C reading for December 6 speaks about anger. It points out that the feeling of anger did give us the illusion of power for a little while but that kind of false security always was short lived and then pain of the guilt and shame followedI must point out that when I worked my first 4th step I discovered t...	hotrod	3	509	Dec 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	do recovered alcoholics have trouble with sex (Preview) my husband has been clean and sober for 25 years. He claims our sex issues have always been a problem for him (ED, Low libido, other problems). Is that common with recovered alcoholics? Does the years of alcohol abuse ruin the way your body reacts and performs sexually. I don't know much about alcoholi...	GypsyGirl	4	497	Dec 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Help friends! (Preview) XA just emailed me. Like a status update of his life and how some of his past caught up with him. Totally irrelevant to my life...part of me wants to reply and say sorry to hear, too bad on that, and congrats on another chip. I MUST NOT REPLY. My side of the street is quiet and life is calm. Grief is hard, but no...	OceanTide	16	768	Dec 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-5 (Preview) C2C reading for December 5 is a powerful reading that points out the value of "gratitude." It suggests that many of us are so busy looking at the negative happenings of our lives that we neglect to look at what is good and rewarding these include our family, friends, children and furry crea...	hotrod	3	620	Dec 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Happy Friday MIP Family & Road Trip (Preview) I just wanted to pause and tell each of you that I hope you have a great day! I also wanted to wish you each a peaceful and serene weekend! Some of you know that I took a risk, and went to the lake for a girls weekend with High School friends. Mind you, I've been out of High School for 35+ years, so it was a bit sc...	Iamhere	11	720	Dec 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	alcoholic distant (Preview) I am so grateful for this board. I feel I belong now and can so relate to all the stories. I have work to do on myself. I have been working on my 4th step and its been good, I have work to do on myself. My Abf by the grace of god is now going on 3 months sobriety. This is a man that could not stay sober for more than 3 da...	joker	5	623	Dec 6, 2015 by tiredtonite
	feeling out of sorts (Preview) Divirce papers should be ready in a week. Im feeling odd. I dont belong anywhere. Im staying at house until something is legally binding. . In about another week. I have everything moved but me, my clothes and wellmy daughter. Sges not helping. . Didnt expect she would. . Jyst not sure how to proceed on T...	Theoceancalls	2	430	Dec 5, 2015 by hotrod
	Not sure what to do or say (Preview) So my AH really wanted to come to my work holiday party. I would rather go on my own to be honest. I have always felt that way about work events. Anyway, he insisted so I am bringing him tonight. So this afternoon I was working from home. He has taken the afternoon off. I go into the kitchen after somet...	KT2015	7	540	Dec 5, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	He stopped drinking...doesn't seem to like me anymore (Preview) My AH stopped drinking 3 months ago. I'm proud of him for stopping (health reasons) but what a change in him. I know he's knew at sobriety, but on a typical day he comes home and goes to bed to watch Shark Tank. Every day. He rarely leaves the bedroom. We've only been married a few years and most of our free t...	OhioWriter	5	631	Dec 4, 2015 by ChipsAreFalling
	Our friend from Inja (Preview) make living with an alcoholic addict seem mind heh? Is the foreign spammer being put to boundary? I would do it and don't know how....I'm powerless.	Jerry F	4	399	Dec 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 12-4 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about "feelings". It points out that many of us make choices based on our" feelings," thinking, incorrectly that feelings are facts.For example, . If we're frightened about taking an action then we have avoided it. By so doing we leave n...	hotrod	7	592	Dec 4, 2015 by Yankeerose
	implosion (Preview) I tried. I really, really tried. But I could not be the better person. For most of my adult life, I have been determined not to be the one who blamed her parents for her shortcomings. And I still do not hold her responsible for my choices. I own those. Yet, when I cast an eye back, I didn't have too much of...	a4l	9	641	Dec 4, 2015 by Mirandac
	Newbie to Al-anon (Preview) Hi Everyone! I am new here and new to al-anon. Im not sure how to go about all this.. So I will start with telling a bit of my history. I have been married to a high functioning alcoholic for 25 years. He has a very good job and supports his family well. His drinking never affects his job. However, the m...	Mink	12	636	Dec 4, 2015 by milkwood
	I had to set the dreaded boundary (Preview) Thanksgiving weekend for AH was an epic bender that ended with me threatening to call the police if he came back to the house (from a day at the bars). He had been horrible and intoxicated since Tuesday and was now threatening to throw our house guests to the curb because my brother-in-law used AH's favo...	CoopsMom	4	728	Dec 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hopeful and detached from the outcome (Preview) Hello everyone, I had a conversation with my AH in which I told him basically that I was done. I would like him to get treatment, gave him the names and tel numbers of some good inpatient rehab detox centers and then said I hoped that he would go. I did not issue any ultimatum but told him the kids and I are a...	newleaf66	5	484	Dec 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	One Day at a Time and Courage to Change (Preview) It is that time of the year when reflection on our recovery tools is practiced. The readings for December 1 in both books for me is right on and brought a lot of gratitude I have for the program with memories of how it all started. If you have the readers I invite you to review the writings from our other m...	Jerry F	6	581	Dec 3, 2015 by newleaf66
	Courage to Change 12-3 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 3 speaks about meditation. The reading points out that Al-Anon does not tell us how to meditate but suggests that we can draw on the experiences of other Al-Anon members to find out what would work for us. It points out that some people practice meditation by remember...	hotrod	2	388	Dec 3, 2015 by Jerry F
	Angry and disgusted with self. Bleh. (Preview) I pulled my phone out in an AA meeting today. In this particular meeting, it's not unusual to see people doing this though in other meetings around town, I would not. Anyhow, this person new to the meeting with 30 days sober took it upon themselves to lecture me about it and then I overheard him going up to...	pinkchip	17	846	Dec 3, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need to remember to stop forgetting. (Preview) ABF and I are getting along like a house on fire. It's super romantic and sweet. I love you SO much. I miss you. He comes to stay for maybe 5 days each month now and we are all over each other. And I have to be real and honest with myself; it's all of the good stuff and none of the bad. There is no reality; our relat...	missmeliss	4	530	Dec 3, 2015 by Mattie
	Finding strength (Preview) Hello, it's been awhile since I posted. My ah moved out in July and has been taking meds and seeing specialist and maybe has been sober two months this time. Before the holidays my family where all going to be in different places and I was going to run up to the mountains by myself. Then my ah and I were getti...	Helpangel	2	485	Dec 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Need help with boundries (Preview) hi there, I have been in al-anon for about 1 1/2 years. My qualifiers are many, but my most frustrating issue to deal with is setting boundaries with my addict son. My husband does not attend al-anon so he does not have the same insight as I do.... Thanks to al-anon. my addict son is clearly not working a pr...	Sallygcoe	5	598	Dec 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	fighting with an alcoholic (Preview) um. Yeah... My ex Abf of 4 years decided to start AA. Stopped drinking. We had moved in together in August. Deep breaths here, lol. Ended badly this week. As it goes, he slowly stopped meetings due to his work schedule and started telling me he wasn't an A and didn't want to go to meetings and this 90 days t...	giraffe13	13	910	Dec 2, 2015 by texas yankee
	Have to get it out I messed up (Preview) I found out today that my ABF has been checking to see if I am where I say I am. As far as I know he has never done that before. I have never given him a reason to think I might lie. The only thing I can think is he thinks I'm seeing someone else. However that is not the case I am very much in love with my boyfriend....	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	514	Dec 2, 2015 by OceanTide
	Courage to Change 12 -2 (Preview) The C2C reading for 12- 2 speaks about the slogan "Let it begin with me" It points out that instead of spending time blaming, judging, critiquing others, we could turn our attention and focus back on to ourselves and see what in me needs changing. That by changing ourselves we truly...	hotrod	3	593	Dec 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Me problems (Preview) I do have many atutile problems and bad behavior patterns left without any trust after several relationship breakups,I know it's got to be me not all them,I love the man I'm with now but he has his issues ,but my idea of a relationship should be ,isn't what I get I'm thinking a knight in shineing armor,ha...	lookingup	1	433	Dec 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Letting go.....of who your A used to be but isn't anymore (Preview) On Sunday, at church the pastor preached on "Hope". Hope is such a wonderful, uplifting concept. But is hope sometime just a fantasy created by me? I realized that hope; my hope, my wish, my desire, my fantasy that my A will stop being an A, and will somehow turn back into that sweet, gentle...	lgnutah	7	790	Dec 2, 2015 by giraffe13
	sober and at times irritating (Preview) I haven't posted here for a very long time. Today I'm working hard to stay calm and let go of small resentments. The A has been sober for a couple of years for which I'm super grateful. Without a program his old ways pop up now and then especially at his former "down time" 5 oclock! ...	wp	3	430	Dec 2, 2015 by Jill
	Grief, f2f meeting, and counting days (Preview) I was awakened this morning by my mother calling. She almost never calls and she has recently been having some health issues, so my first thought was that something had happened to her and her husband was using her phone to let me know. (I like him, but he wasn't the man who raised me, so feel a little weird...	AnnM	8	596	Dec 2, 2015 by AnnM
	Wanting a change (Preview) I regularly attended alanon years ago. Besides reading here regularly, I am considering attending local meetings again. I have been with my husband for 30 years. He has been an active drinker for as long as I have known him and I learned detachment a long time ago. In the past year he has developed quite...	marie57	4	428	Dec 1, 2015 by tiredtonite
	approaching visit. (Preview) So my mother is coming to visit from overseas. She asked if that will be alright, and that she misses us. I have already said I'm not going to discuss family, men and a few other things. But I was happy to talk about kids, outsiders, work and life in general. I feel sad though. Its funny when you redefine a re...	a4l	8	699	Dec 1, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Having a hard day (Preview) I have been overwhelmed with anxiety today. I'm trying very hard to clear my head and breath but its hard. Being in love with an addict is a heavy thing. It does not help that I am not well enough to know how to deal with this and the uncertainty in my life. I know I have to give it over to my HP but sometimes the t...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	1	345	Dec 1, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Having a hard time letting go of blame (Preview) I thought I was doing good! I thought I used my tools well last week after my dog was killed. However I have realized I am still blaming both myself and my AH for what happened. I had to make a choice that day, go to the grocery store which would have taken me maybe an hour...or go see my mother who I had not seen...	Broken513	13	798	Dec 1, 2015 by Yankeerose
	White Chip (Preview) I attended an AA meeting with my husband last night where he picked up his second white chip. His first was last year about this time and he was sober for 3 months before he relapsed. This last period of drinking had progressed very quickly. For the first time in our marriage A became a serious problem. I s...	Kate19	4	553	Dec 1, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Trying to get him out of the house.... (Preview) Here we go back on the merrygoround again.....I know advice is not usually given on these boards but I was just wodering if anyone has any experience having a spouse removed from the home without having them arrested or a restraining order which is permanent. I moved out with my two girls a year ago due t...	Hopefull15	2	531	Dec 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today dec 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sometimes difficult concept of detachment with love. Just as the writer acknowledged, when I first came into the program I also thought about detachment as cold, uncaring, the opposite of love. As I have worked my own recovery and understood mor...	yanksfan51	4	496	Dec 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	bad day today (Preview) So my ah has been sober for about 2 weeks. Today he exploded on me....which I was able to use my boundaries and remove myself from the situation. Well he ended up going out and I am pretty sure he went to the liquor store and bought himself something to drink. Hes home now and being distant which I'm letti...	cspwil	4	594	Nov 30, 2015 by Jerry F
	My argueing (Preview) I'm finding myself picking arguments with my mate or ab,he don't drink very much anymore since he has gotten some health issues but as I was thinking it was all him my sister pointed out to me that my ab can't do nothing right that I don't fuss on him everyday ,I've since caught myself doing this very thing...	lookingup	3	571	Nov 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	SAHM and Homeschoolingmom with Alcoholic husband (Preview) I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore. I am a mother of 3 little girls and another one on the way. I home school my children and do not work. My husband of 7 years is an alcoholic mostly at night during weekdays and starts drinking in the noon on weekends, maybe once in a while he will have a day here...	Smama	5	562	Nov 30, 2015 by Smama
	Putting it out to the universe (Preview) I thought I would put a message out to the universe to get it off my chest and to HP. From there it is not mine anymore... Dear XABF, I was thinking of you and I hope you got your three-month chip today. I know 2015 has been a challenging year, but I hope you are gaining ground. I know you have struggled and I kno...	OceanTide	2	419	Nov 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	New on here (Preview) Hi Everyone! I just signed up. DH left for inpatient treatment this weekend. We have a 10 month old. We met in recovery, I have almost 10 years sobriety. However, DH decided he could drink and smoke pot a few years ago and it has pretty much destroyed our marriage. There's no intimacy or trust. I don't kn...	Seeking22	5	549	Nov 30, 2015 by lgnutah
	I'VE BEEN GIVEN A CHOICE B/TWEEN MY GRANDKIDS OR MY SON..... (Preview) Hello everyone....Newbie here! I am not a newbie to Al-Anon, as I do attend meetings when I can, but i'm a newbie here. I am wondering if anyone has had my experience and if so,would you please share so I can maybe get some guidance? I know we cannot give advice, but we can share our own experiences and tha...	bdlmom	10	575	Nov 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	please help (Preview) Its midnight. I just had a very disturbing phone call from my husband last affair of two.years of which i found out about a month ago. We have been working with a mediator to avoid a drawn out ugly battle. . He claims of course he will change. . Not a chance. This woman, who was a family friend( who has been ha...	Theoceancalls	15	754	Nov 30, 2015 by Mattie
	Courage to Change 11-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 30 speaks about learning from everyone who enters our lives. It points out that we are all connected and that is our great strength. Each person we meet can be a reflection of our better or worse qualities and there to enable us to work through conflicts that in the past w...	hotrod	1	544	Nov 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to group- husband is sober for 25 yrs (Preview) Greetings. I am new to the group. I a married a recovered alcoholic 2 yrs ago. He is a good man and we have a good marriage but I don't really understand how a recovered alcoholic thinks, or what they feel. He has some controlling tendencies and other issues that I've heard are linked to being a recovered a...	GypsyGirl	5	541	Nov 30, 2015 by Jerry F
	HOW or DO you address a relapse? (Preview) Love and thanks in advance to this wonderful group. My ah has been sober for 5 years, but he has had a slip about once per year. In those times, he has increased meeting attendance, immersed himself with extra meetings with sponsor, etc. but the slips have been huge, once involving violence toward me an...	3littlekittens	4	678	Nov 29, 2015 by AnnM
	Courage to Change Reading 11-29 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 29 speaks about our incorrect ideas and opinions. It points out for example that many of us thought that being an adult meant we were in control, rigid, looking good on the outside, and not feeling what was going on inside and doing for others until we dropped. Al-Ano...	hotrod	1	1815	Nov 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to detach from the phony baloney... (Preview) I spoke (quietly and firmly) to my AH almost a week ago now about a day when he went AWOL and ditched on a promise to one of the kids. I know it's the alcohol but he is still a parent here and I needed him to know that he dropped the ball on this one. I encouraged my son to talk with me about it, I validated his fee...	newleaf66	5	569	Nov 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Step 10 (Preview) Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61255818/alanon...	hotrod	0	438	Nov 29, 2015 by hotrod
	I am new to this. Online Gambling Addiction (Preview) My husband had bypass surgery almost two years ago. While recovering he started playing slots online. I didn't even know he was doing it until the bank called about something. When I looked at our bank account, I could not believe the damage he has caused. I brought it to his attention and he said it was n...	lf	3	651	Nov 29, 2015 by lf
	Come to see how lonely I really am (Preview) I started my 4th step and I am coming to a lot of realizations about my self and my behaviors. I have a lot of work to do to improve myself. What I have come to see is I am a very negative person, see the world as black and white, and I am very controlling and that I am very hard on myself and others!! I expect and e...	joker	3	624	Nov 29, 2015 by hotrod
	I feel stuck - worried for my children (Preview) Hello all, I came here looking for guidance nearly 5 years ago and then attended Al-Anon meetings briefly in my town but did not continue and I cannot remember why. Here I am now, 25 years in the same marriage with my AH and he has now started to change physically. He was a functional alcoholic for many y...	newleaf66	16	791	Nov 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage 2 Change Reading for 11-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 28 speaks about working step four. It points out that as we list our character traits we become amazed to find that we often have mistaken destructive behavior for positive ones . For example,I know that I thought that taking care of everyone around me, worrying about oth...	hotrod	1	657	Nov 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to leave my abf (Preview) I am new here and have only attended one al-anon meeting - years ago - and several meetings for family/loved ones of people who were in rehab (a previous relationship). I don't quite know how to start. I have been trying to leave the current relationship almost since I became involved with him. I hav...	AnnM	6	653	Nov 28, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	UNBELIEVABLE!! (Preview) NORMALLY, I DONT LIKE TO GO INTO DETAIL BUT THE BONEHEAD INCIDENT AH IS INTO TONITE ALMOST TOPS HIS TOP BONEHEAD INCIDENTS IN THE PAST AH DRINKS CONTINUIALLY BUT HAD TO DO SOME BANK BUSINESS TODAY SO HE WAS SOMEWHAT SOBER. HE TAKES HIS CAR[HE HAS NO INSURANCE ON, NO PUFFER DEVICE AND RESTRICTED LISCENSE...	YARNCRAZY	4	438	Nov 28, 2015 by missmeliss
	Courage to Change 11-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 27 speaks about being a survivor. It points out that we have faced many troubles in order to be where we are today.We must acknowledge that we are more than our troubles. We are human beings with dignity and with a wealth of experience, that we can use for sharing it with thos...	hotrod	5	515	Nov 28, 2015 by RavenGirl
	Praying and visualizing serenity (Preview) First of all, happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate Thanksgiving. And, to all of you, I want to express my gratitude for YOU. You are each a shining light, a fellow traveller on this often confusing journey of life, and so many of you selflessly give of your ESH over and over... I am truly grateful fo...	oceanpine	7	628	Nov 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	We moved and drinking begins (Preview) I'm so fed up don't no where to begin . I got back with my ex husband he seamed different I could tell he was working his steps he was going to meetings the house was at pease then he lost his job and things went down hill we were evicted from his appartment our house is in forcloser .time he wake up in the mornin...	Wisdom67	3	593	Nov 27, 2015 by hotrod
	awful day awful night (Preview) Well as im in the process of divorcing my ah. . .The days just get worse. . I could launch into the tactics he tries for keeping me, the hate he throws at me and the contiuned lies but many if you know the drill all too weell. So today we did seperate thanksgivings. . He went to friends my daughter and i to famil...	Theoceancalls	6	626	Nov 27, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Peaceful Thanksgiving (Preview) This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I...	likemyheart	8	539	Nov 27, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.