The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been attending Al-anon pretty regularly for almost a year (still haven't gotten a sponsor or shared much). My main struggle has been the idea of a HP. I grew up around a lot of religion, not necessarily spirituality - I believe there is a BIG difference. The idea of the God I grew up with in many ways is very off-putting for me. However, last night I think I saw a powerful "sign" that something is calling - hopefully it was an experience both of us felt.
AH had agreed to some sort of cleaning demo last night to start right after his meeting (started again even though he's still drinking). They came late and went on and on and on ... BUT after the main guy left and I was putting the girls to bed upstairs, I heard him talking to the younger guy as I was in/out of their rooms. Turns out he's in AA and sober about 6 mos. I didn't hear as much as my nosy self might have liked (and really fought to keep myself from eavesdropping lol!), but they spent quite a bit of time downstairs talking, and I noticed that he left his number.
What are the odds? I started out annoyed at the interruption in the evening but maybe there was a reason after all ... We'll see if he does anything with this gift.
I for one am a little closer to settling with my HP ghosts of the past and am taking it as a gift and a sign.
Powerful awareness Chips are falling I found when I keptt an open mind, I could easily see my HP's message in many of my interactions.
As the second steps state: We came (to meetings) , We came to ( we became aware) and we came to believe in a power greater than ourselves . It is a process and keeping a open mind is the key.
Chips - I too grew up with organized religion and I too believe religion and spirituality are different. For some, they are intertwined, but for many, that's not always the case.
I wrestled with the concept of HP for a while when I first found recovery. Like Betty says, I was told to keep an open mind and look for small miracles. I began to 'see', 'hear' and/or 'experience' things and chose to believe that they were HP working in my life.
The seed has been planted with your AH. When he's ready, he'll have a number and know where to go. That's a great thing, for when he's ready!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Chips, thank you for your share. I can relate to your feelings of struggle with the God/HP concept, as I too wrestled with that early on. I commented on a thread in May 17, Is God Really Necessary for Recovery, and shared more on how AlAnon helped me gradually find my way through.
Good to hear that you haven't let that hold you back from benefitting from the program, good for you! I actively participated in Alanon meetings and reading for over a year before I was able to construct my hp and incorporate it with the rest of my recovery efforts. There is so much wisdom in the concepts, slogans, and daily readings that I was able to experience change in my life even before developing an hp of my understanding and acceptance.
Courage p. 117 has a pages that really helped me, reminding me there is much value in the program even if I wasn't ready or interested in particular areas of it. Daily meditation and reading in Courage to Change, One Day at a Time in Alanon, and Hope for Today were crucial parts of my recovery, as was working hard to keep the focus on myself and not my qualifier. When I finally identified an hp that worked for me, it only added to the depth and effectiveness of my recovery.
Hang in there, keep coming back, take what you like and leave the rest...I'm glad you're here
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Mahalo Chips and I relate very well to your post and how it has come out for me is in the knowledge that HP...Higher Power...is a Power Greater than myself and should be the lead in my growth in the relationship. Like so many others I was born into and raise within organized religion. I participated in it in many ways and up to that point had a religion and not a Higher Power until I got within the family of recovery...so many experiences, so many beliefs, so much to listen to and look at and then I arrived at where my Higher Power was...same place, same time. Only one of the very powerful experiences was listening to a Blackfoot Indian named John close one of my home group meetings after he failed at begging off of that experience because he wasn't Christian. I am so grateful that he took the courage to do it and so grateful that I was able to listen to his "face to face" conversation with his Creator Father. It was a powerful, personal conversation which I have learned to duplicate myself...more will be revealed and as Al-Anon says it..."If you keep and open mind; you will find help". (((((hugs)))))
Thanks for sharing such an inspirational story. We say "When the student is ready, the teacher will come." Time will reveal who is the receiver of the lesson.
I know these spiritual awakenings really helped to strengthen my faith in a power greater than myself. And despite the fact that things happen in hp's time and not my own, after a numberof these hp moments, I was able to open my mind to the possibility that there just might be a positive energy force at work in my life.
Hoping with you that your ah is getting ready for sobriety. Glad you keep coming back to recover with us. ((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
HP works in very mysterious ways. I too had a hard time with the concept of a HP....even when I grew up Catholic and thought that praying was going to be easy. Come to find out that praying for some reason was very hard in the beginning but the more I left it up to my HP and gave up trying to control my husband's disease, the more signs I saw that his HP and mine were working. That is great to hear about the worker leaving his number for your husband. I hope that he reaches out. Best wishes to you and your family.
