The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about "feelings". It points out that many of us make choices based on our" feelings," thinking, incorrectly that feelings are facts.
For example, . If we're frightened about taking an action then we have avoided it. By so doing we leave no room for more than one feeling at a time and there is no middle ground.
Part of recovery in Al-Anon involves learning and accepting that feelings are not facts. That we are human beings with complex wide-ranging emotions experiences and thoughts. . We are a wealth of contradictions and can value our feelings without allowing them to dictate our actions.
The reading goes on to suggest that today we can feel anger towards someone and still love them to be afraid of an experience. and still walk through it We can survive being hurt without giving up on love and experience sadness and still be confident that we can be happy.
The quote is from Rose Macauley; "life, for all its agonies-- is exciting and beautiful, amusing and artful and endearing-- and whatever is to come after it we shall not have this life again."
I'm so glad that Al-Anon has given me the tools to be able to live life in the present moment with courage serenity and wisdom. I can now feel my feeling, own them, not react to them but pause and process the situation and then respond. What a gift
I'm so glad that Al-Anon has given me the tools to be able to live life in the present moment with courage serenity and wisdom. I can now feel my feeling, own them, not react to them but pause and process the situation and then respond. What a gift
Thank you for this..I am practicing taking off my cape and trying to save the world lol..When you leave things to your HP they have a way of working out
Good morning all and happy Friday!!! Feelings are not facts was a new concept to me, as in counseling many years ago, I had been told feelings are real - it's your thinking that is often incorrect. So, I had to think about and figure out how to manage and process my feelings by working the steps and the program.
What I've uncovered is that no matter the 'real feeling', by the time it went from my heart to my brain, it was often outwardly expressed as anger. Fear >>> Anger. Sadness >>> Anger. Disappointment >>> Anger. I could go on, but you get the drift.
What Al-Anon has taught me is to Pause, assess the situation and the true feeling, and then decide if it's logical or illogical. I do agree that until I process, I am kind of stuck in that moment. If it's an unpleasant feeling/moment, I need to work any step/tool possible to go through it. When it's a positive feeling, I need to embrace it as well...
Living one day at a time, and staying in the present is such a gift to 'be real'. Before this program, I was a jumbled ball of anger who reacted often and rarely in a proper manner. I now have the tools to pause, feel, process and get real.
Thanks Betty for the daily and your ESH!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Before this program, I was a jumbled ball of anger who reacted often and rarely in a proper manner. I now have the tools to pause, feel, process and get real.
ceewi - the good news, we installed our Pause button.....we did not install those other buttons that often get pushed. Someone recently posted about deactivating 'the other' so I have visualized that many, many times as I push my pause button.....
I do have to laugh, when I am being talked at or told off or ..... I often visual the Charlie Brown parent talking - all sounds and no words!
I'll take any tool I can beg, borrow or 'steal' to have and keep my serenity!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
ceewi I agree leaving things alone and trusting HP works. IAMHERE i do understand that my "Heart", feelings regarding a situation are true and real. Growing up with the disease I learned how to translate these feelings into ones that I could express or manage . Such as anger, resentment ,fear , blame and these were not facts. When I take the time to pause, feeling the true feeling that exist, I can shoose how to respond to situations in an appropriate manner. My still small voice within is powerful and I must take time to listen and process.
Thank you Betty. I have worked at remembering feelings are feelings, not facts. Sometimes my inner Sicilian takes over and I find myself reacting, not living in the present moment.
