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September 2 - Intimacy Book - Trust
(Preview)
Continuing with the second chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, "Building and Rebuilding Trust," the member on page 40 shares about learning to "act as if." In her family of origin, showing love was seen as a weakness and could be used against her. She was unable to show love to her hus...
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Freetime
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3
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1938
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Courage to Change September 1
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author speaks to how important it can be for an Al-Anon group to use a group conscience to address challenges they may be facing. The author shares that their home group had gotten into a rut. They hadn't had new members in a very long time, and seemed to cycle through t...
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Skorpi
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4
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297
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Sept. 2, ODAT - Rewards
(Preview)
Today's reading promises rewards. With a changed attitude (concern, love, and kindness for others), I can expect the circumstances of my life to change for the better. If I expect good, it will surely come in some form for me. And, if I offer others a "tolerant uncritical awareness" and focus my viewp...
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Bbrave
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4
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331
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Program work is always needed!
(Preview)
Hi all! I still get on to read and rarely post anymore, but had to share an update! I had the most interesting not shocking things hit my awareness. So I went to al-anon meetings for years and had my old wise sponsor whom helped me do my first step work and pushed me to grow and do amazing things! Fast forward...
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Breakingfree
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5
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1600
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8/31/21 C2C
(Preview)
Today's contributor admits the tendency to try changing others to fit self desires, and to blame the failure to meet those desires on the shortfalls of others. A wish for others to always be there for them, but not ask for much in return...more like a pet than a human relationship. Not surprisingly, re...
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Enigmatic
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3
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251
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Many kinds of Addictions
(Preview)
I think it was 2017 since I was last here. At that time my son was my qualifier. He since has married, had a child and quit alcohol and drugs cold turkey totally. Without a program, I am not sure how he is doing emotionally and spiritually and not sure if he has been affected by "arrested development". He no...
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LinSC
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4
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1261
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C2C, Monday, 8/30, attitude
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 8/30, talks about how ones attitude dictates the way we experience the world. This came about through the members sponsor asking them to use a grievance list, and then gratitude lists when feeling low, unhappy about family, and/or when feeling fine. The member was surpris...
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Lyne
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8
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1955
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Hope for Today Aug 29
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the important role detachment has in recovery. The writer describes learning to detach from her mother. In alanon, the writer learned that she had become so focused on her mother and the disease of alcoholism that she didnt know where her mother ended...
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yanksfan51
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4
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1318
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August 28th Hope for Today Self Knowledge
(Preview)
Today's reading touches on what it was like for an Alanon member to grow up in a home with two parents affected by alcoholism. Their father being an alcoholic and their mother having been raised in a home with alcoholism; the member feels neither was able to give them attention they needed as a child. Th...
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tiredtonite
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6
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2391
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August 28th, C2C - Trusting enough to work with a sponsor
(Preview)
In today's reading, the author talks about the trust they felt in working with their first sponsor. They describe how they felt before they asked them - a mess, questioning whether the sponsor would accept them, thinking they would be turned down because they were not worth saving. The sponsor gent...
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Bettertomorrow
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3
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862
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August 27 - Intimacy Book - Trust
(Preview)
The second chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships is titled "Building and Rebuilding Trust." It mentions that living with alcoholism has made us unable to be open and honest, because we came to doubt ourselves and mistrust others. We did not to let anyone know the "real me," sometimes as a...
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Freetime
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6
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277
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Aug. 26, ODAT - According to my will
(Preview)
Today's story tells of a man's struggle with his spouse's occasional program lapses. Al-Anon reminds him to instead rejoice in her successful periods of sobriety, to appreciate her effort, and not to take on her problems with alcohol. TODAY'S REMINDER: When we slip into responsibility or fixing m...
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Bbrave
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7
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1685
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I see big and subtle improvements
(Preview)
Sometimes, I don't always recognize my own growth, or I am critical of the pace of my growth. Today was an emotional , stressful day. My daughters boyfriend whom we have come to love and appreciate relapsed/slipped. Upon hearing the news, I did not sleep at all well last night and found myself feelin...
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serenity47
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5
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293
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8/24 ODAT – Honesty > Lifetime of Growth
(Preview)
At some point in our Alanon journey, our appreciation deepens for the role of honesty and candor in our recovery. This often is accompanied by acknowledgement that our behavior at times, like the alcoholic's, has been neither sane or rational; progress...This may not be the end of the Alanon journe...
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Enigmatic
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8
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1157
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Alcoholic Brother
(Preview)
I buried a memory from when I was 12 years old. I saw my brother hiding liquor bottles in his room. He was also smoking marijuana. I was asleep at night when he came into my room and stuck his hand down my nightgown. My life has been a rollercoaster ever since. It ruined my marriage and caused me a lot of harm....
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annt
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3
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1131
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Courage to Change August 25
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on how students learn to play the piano - they start with just a few keys and one hand, eventually adding a second hand and more keys, until they are using all the keys on the piano from the low bass to the high treble. The author considers how in Al-Anon,...
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Skorpi
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3
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287
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C2C, 8/23, making mistakes
(Preview)
In the reading for Monday, 8/23, the member talks about the fear of making mistakes. This could bring accusations and abuse from the alcoholic, as well as themself. The slightest error felt huge which they could not let go of. Yet the member struggled to give the appearance of perfect self-contro...
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Lyne
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7
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680
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Hope for Today Aug 22
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about how we might seek answers, changes, self worth, from people and/or situations outside of ourselves. The writer describes coming to al-anon looking for answers. The writer looked to parents, friends, partners etc: looking everywhere except Highe...
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yanksfan51
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2
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238
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Aug. 19, ODAT - Compassion
(Preview)
Today's reading is about the consequences of my attitude, and calls for compassion for our qualifiers. Our behaviour (contempt, indignation, neglect) is ego-destroying, and the ego of the drinker is already painfully battered by guilt and fear. TODAY'S REMINDER: My spouse is a child of God, and...
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Bbrave
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9
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1828
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Help understanding: Keep the focus on me
(Preview)
I would love words of wisdom here from members as to how this phrase keep the focus on me relates to them/how it is used in their relationships with their Q. New mantra to consider for me. I think it will be helpful as I will shift the focus from Why did my ABF do/not do x,y,z? ... I am beginning to understand i...
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Im
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6
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319
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August 21st, C2C, Live and let live
(Preview)
In today's reading the author talks about struggling to understand the slogan, "Live and Let Live". They asked themselves the question "how do I turn my eyes on myself and 'live' for the first time in my life?" Their sponsor asked them a question in turn - "what have you done earlier today?" Although t...
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Bettertomorrow
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5
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268
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August 21 Hope for Today - Decision Making
(Preview)
In today's reading an Alanon member recalls reacting negatively as a child when their parents told them what to do. Examples of how they responded as a child were with angry compliance or rebellious refusal. They felt controlled. As an adult and member of Alanon they volunteer for service to their Al...
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tiredtonite
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3
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218
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progress not perfection
(Preview)
There (for me) is no way of measuring perfection and so I stay away from the subject. I am certainly not qualified to discuss that subject but then how do I handle progress? I can inventory honestly the recovery attributes of in this case my significant (very) other, Al-Anon spouse with my Higher Po...
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JerryF
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8
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352
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Back again - hitting meeting tomorrow
(Preview)
I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart. We spoke...
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Im
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3
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250
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August 20 - Intimacy Book
(Preview)
The first chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships has members' shares about various experiences about how someone else's alcoholism affected their feelings about their own value, their sexual relationships, and their need for closeness and intimacy. On page 24, a member shares that i...
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Freetime
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2
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227
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Aug. 12, ODAT - Old habits die hard
(Preview)
In today's reading we receive some pretty direct advice about how to manage (not manage) our alcoholic. We must overcome our habit of setting standards for them and expecting those standards to be followed (whether or not this person is still drinking or sober or in AA). Expecting what we believe sho...
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Bbrave
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5
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909
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8/17/21 C2C – Defects of Character…
(Preview)
...unhealthy survival mechanisms we developed in a difficult environment, but have outgrown? Assets that have lost proportion? Perhaps...regardless of how we feel about them, Alanon allows us to face them honestly, but without feeling we are responsible for removing them all ourselves. We are...
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Enigmatic
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5
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1841
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Courage to Change August 18
(Preview)
Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Six: Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. The author describes how they deal with requests for endo...
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Skorpi
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5
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1194
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ODAT in alanon, harsh words
(Preview)
In the reading for Monday, August 16th, the writer shares that harsh words and accusations can be used against the alcoholic. This can cause damage, and asks why we risk hurting someone who is already hurting? The author also asks if they are punishing the drinker or relieving their own pent-up fee...
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Lyne
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4
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663
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Dry Drunk spouse
(Preview)
Hello everyone! I stumbled on this forum today when googling something and realized I created an account here about five years ago right before DH overdosed and got sober. I am so grateful to have found this again. Im back in al anon and loving it. So many useful tools to remind me to keep in my lane. im wo...
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Prissykitty
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10
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327
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Hope for Today Aug 15
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the role fear can play in our lives. The writer describes fear as a catalyst for any character defects that may have been lying dormant. The writer describes the defects as seeming to be powered off, but when fear comes into play they are charged and get m...
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yanksfan51
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3
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1194
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Growth and gratitude
(Preview)
I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I have to be grateful for. I am so delighted that it is true what they say about an attitude of gratitude and how it continues to multiply. When I step into gratitude, life gives me more to be grateful for. It is whale season where I am, and every time I see a moth...
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a4l
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10
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1009
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August 14th Hope for Today - Feelings
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses and offers tools for acknowledging feelings and processing them. In this reading, the Al-anon member recalls making choices in reaction to uncomfortable emotions. Examples given are confusion, fear, anger. The person found that these unresolved feelings were a poor...
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tiredtonite
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7
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906
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August 14th, C2C, choices
(Preview)
in today's reading the author talks about since coming to Al-Anon, that they have become more aware of choices they never knew they had. If they are uncomfortable about doing something, they have learned that they don't necessarily have to do it, but instead look into their heart and discover their t...
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Bettertomorrow
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6
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217
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August 13 - Al-Anon's Intimacy Book
(Preview)
Hello MIP friends! For this Friday's daily reading, I wanted to try something different. Please let me know your feedback. There is a relatively new CAL book, Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships. I bought this book as soon as Al-Anon published it a couple of years ago -- but I haven't had the cou...
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Freetime
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5
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858
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Saturday Service - Literature Daily Volunteer
(Preview)
Greetings MIP...Long story short, we need a member to volunteer to be of service on Saturdays. It can be 2 folks rotating, 4 folks rotating, 1 folk weekly, etc. I've tried to fill in and have not done a great job. I golf most days and in summer, we're out the door with coffee in hand early - called dewsweep...
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Iamhere
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8
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1382
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Thank you
(Preview)
I just felt compelled to extend my thankfulness to all whom have been a part of this board in one way or the other, whether it be in a service position or simply as a contributing member. When I stumbled upon it 7 years ago, my life seemed to be very chaotic and i was feeling hopeless and overwhelmed dealin...
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serenity47
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6
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1483
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manic behavior from drinking?
(Preview)
I am listening to my Q who is downstairs on a zoom meeting and he's acting in a manner unusual for him - he's super hyped up. If you didn't know him you wouldn't notice it, but I feel like it's unnaturally hyper "up" behavior. I wonder if he's had some booze; normally it makes him flatter but I'm wondering .....
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Fedora
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12
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1835
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Courage to Change August 11
(Preview)
In today's reading, the author shares about how they handle depression. Some days, the author feels that they just cannot face the world. They would prefer to hide their head under the covers and avoid the world. In these times, the author recognizes just how much they need an Al-Anon meeting. Breaki...
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Skorpi
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4
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1422
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8/10/21 ODAT – Weigh Thy Words in a Balance…
(Preview)
...and make a bar and door for thy mouth.' So advises a passage in Ecclesiastes, due to the potential damage we may cause to others and ourselves by our own words.Reminder: Reflect on damage I may deliver blasting out my unfiltered first thoughts; such words spoken in the moment likely can cause harm t...
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Enigmatic
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4
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242
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Board Moderation.
(Preview)
Hi MIP family. It has come to attention that the board is: -Short of moderators; -Webhelper is listed as a moderator; -WebHelper is supposed to be technical support. When I volunteered for the service position of Webmaster, it was on the understanding that it was technical support at the request...
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WebHelper
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17
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1735
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C2C, 8/9, outward appearances
(Preview)
In the reading for Monday, 8/9, the writer expresses not being able to be themself around others. They were too busy trying to be what others wanted, assuming they would not be acceptable as they were. In F2F meetings, the writer learned that they were not crazy. Other people had also been affected b...
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Lyne
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4
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272
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Hope for Today Aug 8
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about our ability to speak openly about emotions; when we can do this at meetings it helps give us the courage to do the same in other situations in our lives. The writer describes feeling disappointed when his/her father cancels a trip they had planned toget...
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yanksfan51
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7
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1597
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Thought I would share
(Preview)
I had an opportunity today, to share with AH the fact that if it hadn't been for Al-Anon over the past eight years, that I probably would not still be with him. He did not seem to be surprised!! We have a cat that has allergies and if he sleeps on anything that is not 100% cotton he gets ear infections. I ha...
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DM2021
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19
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1401
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Taking a break from this grouo
(closed)
(Preview)
Please note like other members I have been really alarmed by the amount of chaos there has been in this group This weeks edition with Audrey was all orchestrated by one person That person is of course out to cause maximum disruption and they succeed over and over again . I am an essential worker out in t...
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Maresie888
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11
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1377
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Courage to Change August 4
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about self-worth. The author stresses that we each have value because we each breathe the breath of humanity. Learning from criticism and being open to what others say is important to the author, but popularity and the ability to please those aroun...
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Skorpi
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6
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2409
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August 6 - C2C - Walking Through the Fire
(Preview)
Today's author had a dream about being in a burning room, gasping for breath, and the only exit was blocked by smoke and flames -- but they saw a hand beckoning them from the other side of the flames. They knew that freedom, light, and air were on the other side of the flames, and that to escape certain dea...
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Freetime
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8
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1014
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Aug. 5, ODAT - working for myself
(Preview)
"What we get from our association with Al-Anon depends pretty much on what we put into it." We must put effort into reading, listening and using Al-Anon tools to reap the rewards of the program. TODAY'S REMINDER: Do ALL the "things." Read the lessons, apply them to our lives, help others and ourselves...
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Bbrave
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5
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1780
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Boundaries redax
(Preview)
Xxxx -- Edited by Maresie888 on Tuesday 3rd of August 2021 02:27:59 PM
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Maresie888
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4
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1535
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3 AUG_Alanon forum Magazine_working thru the past
(Preview)
Gratitude One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. -Sigmund Freud When I am struggling with something today, it is so easy for me to get caught up in my fears and suffering and start questioning why me? As I have grown and progressed in recovery, I have recen...
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mamalioness
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2
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1099
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8/3/21 ODAT – I can Change Nothing but Myself
(Preview)
Today's writer notes the result of focusing on the what/where/whys of others: inner turmoil. Improvement and progress depend upon the changes I make in my own perceptions and thinking.Reminder: I can change nothing but myself. By accepting that the main source of unhappiness lies within me, I beg...
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Enigmatic
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5
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1419
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have you ever? dream(feedback please)
(Preview)
I had a dream a few night's ago that really startled me. It wasn't a drunk dream for me but a dream where my AH was drunk & drinking. Mind you I have never really seen him drunk. He has been sober for almost 15 years. I have never dreamt of him actually being drunk either. I don't know why I did. It is very od...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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1606
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ODAT in alanon, 8/2, Live and Let Live
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 8/2, examines Live and Let Live. The writer says if we could put all the slogans together, wed be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human beings. With Live and Let Live, it is suggested to live life fully, richly, happily, and fulfill our destiny with joy from what we do. ...
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Lyne
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10
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1534
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Two Bettyisms
(Preview)
Last night in my home group zoom, I shared two things that Betty taught me. It helped me to remember them, and the group seemed to like them, so I thought I would just post them here this morning. She actually taught me many things that live on inside my head and heart, but I want to keep it short. -Dont hav...
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Lyne
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6
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1318
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Hope for Today Aug 1
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of sharing and the positive effect it has for us in recovery. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home in which he/she did not have a voice in anything. This carried forward to adulthood in Alanon where it was extremely diffic...
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yanksfan51
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8
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2314
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1 AUG_Alanon_forum_seeing the good
(Preview)
Seeing the good. The beauty of our souls shines in many ways. The greatest of these is love. In the spirit of loving kindness, every day a little ugliness is removed; our perspective on life grows broader and deeper. In the spirit of love, our lives become fresher, our souls humbler; evil seems to dis...
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mamalioness
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2
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1166
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Caregiving
(Preview)
I wouldn't have said that my caregiving of others was an issue except I have had to look at my role in the relationship with the qualifier. My caregiving of him. That is in particular the financial caregiving took ne to the point of bankruptcy. In fact my credit was ruined for over 7 years Neverthele...
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Maresie888
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7
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1632
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Courage to Change July 28
(Preview)
In today's share, the author reminds us of the work of a stone cutter. A stone cutter may hit the same rock 99 times without any apparent effect, but on the 100th blow, the rock may split in two. Our work in Al-Anon can be like this as well. Whatever we are working on through the program (acceptance that alc...
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Skorpi
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4
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1530
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JUL 30_Alanon_Forum_Playing the hand we got
(Preview)
What happens to us is not as important as how we respond. The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We did not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the age in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do no...
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mamalioness
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2
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843
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July 29, ODAT - Be QUIET!
(Preview)
Sorry I am late posting today, if only I had read and committed to the reading for today!! We are asked to provide the element of quiet to our home, rather than add to the turmoil. AND, it's not the grumbling, I am giving you the "silent treatment" type. "True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance...
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Bbrave
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6
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1084
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