The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the practice some of us have of doing the same thing over and over again and somehow expecting different results. The writer describes reacting to different situations in an impulsive way, eventually noticing that it was habitual and not founded in thoughtfulness. The strategy that was suggested to the writer really resonated with me: when there is a situation that elicits a strong reaction (crying, getting angry, feeling low), rather than an immediate reaction, the writer was suggested to try and visualize two doors. One marked same old, same old or my will and the other marked new and different or Gods will. Just the visualization creates a few beats of thoughtfulness rather than being reactive, and a healthy detachment from the emotionally charged part of the situation. The writer paid attention to what might be behind the door of Gods will, including the idea that there could be nothing behind it (and maybe that signifies the behavior/words of others belongs to them and we dont need to react to it).
I am a work in progress in this and all other scenarios- but taking a moment to think rather than react always puts any situation I am working on into a perspective I can manage. The thought for the day is a great reminder: Practicing detachment before I react allows me to maintain self-esteem by choosing my response.
Good Morning Everyone. This is a great topic and helps me reflect with gratitude how AlAnon tools kept me in-sanity this past week. My spouse told me Monday he needed to go to the hospital due to symptoms of his mental health. Instead of panicking, I thanked him for sharing and we went to emergency. The wait time was going to be long, and he decided to leave. I did not admonish him for leaving and instead put myself in his shoes and expressed how frustrating it must be for him to be in mental anguish and unable to get immediate relief. Instead, I held his hand and as we walked on the hospital grounds, I changed the topic and focused on the gorgeous sky, fall colours, smell of fresh cut grass...We walked to a restaurant and had a tremendous meal then returned home. He felt much better. The hospital called to follow up and it was agreed that excercise/therapy would help more than tweaking medication. Furthermore, my spouse reached out to his therapist/physician without my prompting (okay, nagging). In short, everything worked out better than previous times because I listened, did not interfere in the process, and throughout used the Serenity Prayer and gave credit to my HP for putting the right people in place to guide us to a solution. Thank you all for being gracious in listening and sharing. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you Mary for your service today. I must say, I am much better at utilizing The Pause, now that I have some years of Al-Anon under my belt. For too many years I had been used to reacting. Many times I just had to - to keep the proverbial sh*t from hitting the fan. So it was a coping mechanism gone terribly wrong, and one that was kind of hard to change for sure!
I really like the visual this reading gave: 2 doors ('same old' - therefore same results; or a new way, one filled with possibilities). This reading also reminds me of the definition of Insanity (that I learned during a visit to a AA speaker meeting) Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Thank you Debb and Daffodils for your shares on this topic!
Daffodils - What a scary day for you! Yet, you used your Al-Anon tools and made it through. This is a very good example of just how Al-Anon can help the loved one living with an addicted person. Thank you for sharing this ESH, and keep it up... program looks good on you!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
