Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading comes from the perspective of a long-term Al-Anon member. The member reflects on her program, her experience and the power of how HP (Higher Power) has carried the message and the member. Through the program, the member has gathered a large supply of healthy positive experiences....

Iamhere · Iamhere

As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit.... Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions Today's Reminder...

andromeda · andromeda

My son and I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and his 2 young girls. My boyfriend is former military (6 years in the Army and he had commanded 300 recruits at one point while he served: I believe he was a Captain)....anyway, he has a mentality that is: boys should be raised by their fathers to be me...

RKTreats · RKTreats

After reading today's reading that speaks about expectations and resentment, I find myself questioning a lot of things. I know we can apply the Al-Anon principles to all aspects of our lives, so I find myself asking....."If I am not supposed to have expectations, then does that mean I have to settle f...

lookingup · lookingup

Here's a few of my facts that I've found of the alcoholic/addict: their master manupulaters,they lie,cheat, And please do add your facts that you have found???? I'm sure there's more . Thanks for listening just felt like I needed to post this......hugs lu

El · El

Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desi...

OpheliasBabyDoll · OpheliasBabyDoll

So here I am. It's ten o'clock at night on Wednesday, a time I would normally either be texting my alcoholic ex goodnight or just leaving his house. Sometimes, I feel lost. It's only been a few days that I've wandered various support sites, including this one. I've read quite a few stories, some more dra...

Emily W · Emily W

Hello All...this post is a long time coming. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for 8.5 years, 3 trips to rehab, hours and hours of meetings, YEARS of aftercare, countless visits to the hospital, a D.U.I., and yet here I still am. My ABF has been in and out of AA for most of our relationship and has ha...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

After another night of constant disruptions due to my AH drinking, I have decided today to prepare our guest room for a treasured guest...ME!! I am going to convert that guest room in to an oasis of relaxing comfort for myself for these times when sleeping in my own room is not serving me well. I am buyi...

lookingup · lookingup

I had read someone's post where they mentioned they needed to be vulnerable and desperate,in their situation in order to recover,I'm not understanding this for when I was vulnerable and desper I was at my also scariest also of being weak to another bad relationship,so that being where I don't want to...

Aerin · Aerin

Anyone else feel this way? I am so sick and tired of how they portray beer in commercials (even the Whiskey ones with Mila Kunis now! Like its all sexy for your man to be downing a few) In a new Light one they are obviously targeting 20 somethings, showing happy, super fit girls in bikinis holding a be...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP family, I am currently in Maui, Hawaii on a "vacation of a lifetime" and (after a quite rocky start) enjoying myself to the best of my ability. I am struggling with some things though and have been trying to use my program to help me with them. First, a family member (the one footing the majo...

Paintballer · Paintballer

Hi everyone. New member here. My Wife has been struggling with alcoholism for about 4 years now. She did a 30 day inpatient 4 years ago and has been going off and on to AA meetings. She just got caught at work (medical field)stealing meds and using them at work. Ive been told shes done this for about a year....

BetterBunny · BetterBunny

Hi Everyone, I'm been reading through page after page here and am finally ready to head to my first f2f meeting tonight. I'm both pleased to be going and scared at the same time. After years of trying to force life into a mold of my design and pretending to everyone around me that I'm really successful at i...

gabigail · gabigail

hi everyone- My A has been sober 18 days, but has been in the hospital the last week. My mind has been in a virtual fog the last week, trying to run my spouse's business and working my job and juggling everything. I'm exhausted. And today a bit emotional. I was talking to my A on the phone to see what she ne...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

My AH is two months sober in AA and our home environment is much improved. He is working hard and I can see the big changes. This past weekend we were invited to stay with my sister and her fiancee. My AH, sister, nephew and dad (along with a few others) attended the Indy 500 to celebrate my Dad's birthday. T...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...

Ddw7415 · Ddw7415

I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and rea...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Good morning MIP Family, My hope is that all of you are doing well. I haven't been here for a few days, and wanted to check in. First, I want to say thank you to any of you who might have lost a loved one as they served our country. A young man I used to babysit, who grew up in my neighborhood, was kidded in Afghan...

sweeetr · sweeetr

for those that dont know me .. a brief catch up. I adopted a neglected precious 22 month old child that is now 11 years old. Detaching, even with love. I cant seem to do, I feel I am still raising/parenting him. I let him face consequences for his actions. The loss this child has faced ....... He lost his bi...

Overcome · Overcome

I'm wondering where the Al-anon chat/meeting room has gone, and the home page. Does anyone know? This is the only page I can access. I have had several members from the chat room message me to ask.

Iamhere · Iamhere

On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in...

runi · runi

like i said, i am new here. my first qualifier was my father. seems to me the people I've observed in al-anon seem to work much harder to get healthy and live with the alcoholic than the alcoholic does in AA. when is enough enough.??

Nix · Nix

Hello! I became aware of Al-Anon back in 2013. I was going through a devastating separation from my partner of nearly 11 years, and the resulting fallout led me to crawl on hands and knees to several different 12 step groups focusing on dysfunction in relationships. This fellowship and others like it...

RKTreats · RKTreats

This evening, after several weeks of peace, my greatest fear was realized....or at least has reared it's ugly head in my mind again. My Abf who is seven weeks into his recovery and has told me he is interested in no one else, received a phone call from one of the women he found on a dating site several month...

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Face to face meetings are nearly impossible for me to get to right now & I'm in the thick of some things I need to write out. May is hard for me, in general. Where I live, we have race for the cure (komen breast cancer walk) the weekend of mother's day, then mother's day (my mom died a few years ago of breas...

RKTreats · RKTreats

Today is my one-week anniversary (counting every milestone right now) of attending my first Al-Anon meeting. I attended three meetings last week and am preparing to go into my fourth meeting tonight. I'm still struggling with how to know when any progress is being made. I know I want a resolution now...

Rinn · Rinn

I am a nursing student. I had this crazy idea that I could do something noble and use my experience gained married to an addict, to help patients with addiction issues. So after working med/surg and seeing the enormous amount of patients that come in with meth addictions. I finally had one. I can sa...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I attended an Alanon meeting this week where the topic was the Alanon Concepts. The Concepts are not often a suggested topic and I was so grateful someone rather new to the program chose to explore the meaning of each of the Concepts and share what they'd learned with the rest of us. It was a gift to recei...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Well I finally did it and went back to a ftf meeting! I actually enjoyed the experience very much and felt as if I was in the right place...finally! It has been a long and arduous process to get back to the rooms and I am very glad I made the effort. I sincerely hope to continue meetings and to learn from my f...

WhoDat4Life · WhoDat4Life

Long story short: my Mom is an alcoholic and pain pill addict who will not stay sober. She has her moments where she does well, but for the most part the longest she can go is about 2 weeks without a relapse. She has been through 2 VERY expensive rehab stints funded by my Dad to no avail. When she came home th...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Choppy waters, a bit of unsteadyness but Had a dream 3 day cruise with boyfriend !!!! won on slots,yummy food,very romantic etc Feel grateful,blessed and special. Have 3-4 job interviews this week lined up. Hope all of you are blessed with good things coming into your lives A :]

cm2772 · cm2772

Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I *can* change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of the concept of being gentle with ourselves, and how very foreign and strange that seems after living with alcoholism and hating ourselves for our shortcomings. The writer says they first managed this by imagining a kitten and the gentle and caring feelings a kitten would evoke...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Such a strange, new but not new place that my partner and I are at. He is working, comes to visit with the nicest of intentions, says he is so very sorry for the horrors that occurred in the past and, they will never happen again. The goal, according to him, is to work towards living together again. Which w...

Crochet mama · Crochet mama

My husband had been working his program and doing better, but it's been going the other way for a while, and has become unmanageable. After having consulted with addiction professionals, today I told him he cannot return to live in our home until he has completed 90 documented meetings in 90 days. He t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I've finally decided I'm ready to date which has been a major learning curve however all part of my recovery for which I'm very grateful for, I seriously have learned a lot about myself and I know what I want in a relationship. I sure know what I don't!!! It's one of those things that has been very inter...

cbehr · cbehr

Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.

NteacherJ · NteacherJ

I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship. I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning. I've b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will tell you why! God is blessing me & working in my life today. I am not the center of the universe. I know who holds the future & he is already there. I don't know what is to come but it looks bright in my little world. The world may be messy but I don't have to engage! That's the whole story. I am...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 28th, speaks about the habit of "comparing" which often leads to finding "ourselves lacking" and therefore to despairing. The reading goes on to say the only valid comparison we should make is to compare ourselves from yesterday to who we are today. We look at how w...

hotrod · hotrod

If you encountered the message:"The site has stepped out", when you attempted to log on, I am glad you found an alternate sign on route as John has been notified and it should be corrected soon.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Yesterdays Courage to Change reminded us that We dont see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Furthering that line of thought, the author of todays ODAT reading states that with the help of our higher power, we can see beyond what seems to be.We do this by lifting ourselves from the fog of our pro...

HITM · HITM

Hi all! I just started attending Al Anon meeting a few weeks ago and I've been reading "Hope for Today". I find it very helpful and insightful, even calming, but I need something to read to help me get started in the program. I don't have a sponsor yet so I'm hoping to get some tips for a good first book to rea...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 29th speaks about the two huge stumbling blocks of fear and worry. The reading points out that these painful feelings can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality. Many focuses on the future and this causes unrealistic worry.If we can learn to stay in the presen...

Operjay · Operjay

Hi everyone, and thanks for your advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months and she was very open with me about struggles with alcohol, having gone to AA, asking if I might be interested in joining her at some point, mentioning that this group might be beneficial for me to understand mor...

hotrod · hotrod

How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62207004/alano...

Dlove · Dlove

Since I am still so new to the program I am still a little shaky on setting boundaries so that me and my kids can have some sort of normalcy in this crazy life we are now living. My AH doesn't feel he has to tell me anything about what he's doing or where he's going. When before we told each other everything....

runi · runi

i'm new here. how long does someone stay with an alcoholic? what boundaries are realistic under our roof?

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death & I need to write out some of this clotted brain matter. So, my father was an A, and he started drinking when he was really young. After joining a church that required abstinence, he became dry for a while, obv without ever dealing with his stuff. In the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much to say cause things have been great. All things are working together for the good.Good things happen when I help others. Simple as that!

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.The author noted:· We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwa...

roxy · roxy

My husband is an alcoholic. For years I dealt with emotional abuse from his drinking. And I was an enabler because I constantly supported him financially because I knew he would have ended up dead and I couldn't let that happen. I was the only one there for him when things got bad and when I finally ran out...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, This topic sounds like the title of a LIfetime Movie haha... I'm still here - reading, contributing when I can and trying to 'listen and learn'. I havent' been able to get to a live meeting in 3 weeks now, and I'm feeling it. Everything is done with my ex boyfriend. I sent him a one line, do...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, I have been enmeshed in the insanity of my exBF emailing me all week, challenging me, wanting to 'discuss' this and that. I tried a 'no response' tactic to his initial email a week ago, but that prompted him to check up on me on Facebook and discover that I am doing quite well, looking healthy and...

gen4 · gen4

My husband is a dry drunk that uses anger as a way to stimulate himself (I'm guessing). I know it's some kind of rageaholic thing b/c I've seen him go into a rage about a typo in the newspaper by a columnist that he otherwise loves. He'll choose ANYTHING to rage about...whatever is handy, even if someti...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading comes from the perspective of a long-term Al-Anon member. The member reflects on her program, her experience and the power of how HP (Higher Power) has carried the message and the member. Through the program, the member has gathered a large supply of healthy positive experiences....	Iamhere	3	402	Jun 3, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/3/16 (Preview) As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit.... Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions Today's Reminder...	Iamhere	3	400	Jun 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	My son...... (Preview) My son and I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and his 2 young girls. My boyfriend is former military (6 years in the Army and he had commanded 300 recruits at one point while he served: I believe he was a Captain)....anyway, he has a mentality that is: boys should be raised by their fathers to be me...	andromeda	19	781	Jun 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) After reading today's reading that speaks about expectations and resentment, I find myself questioning a lot of things. I know we can apply the Al-Anon principles to all aspects of our lives, so I find myself asking....."If I am not supposed to have expectations, then does that mean I have to settle f...	RKTreats	4	418	Jun 3, 2016 by hotrod
	The facts of alcoholic/addict (Preview) Here's a few of my facts that I've found of the alcoholic/addict: their master manupulaters,they lie,cheat, And please do add your facts that you have found???? I'm sure there's more . Thanks for listening just felt like I needed to post this......hugs lu	lookingup	7	476	Jun 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Examing motive (Preview) Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desi...	El	2	411	Jun 3, 2016 by El
	My First Official Night as a Member of the Club (Preview) So here I am. It's ten o'clock at night on Wednesday, a time I would normally either be texting my alcoholic ex goodnight or just leaving his house. Sometimes, I feel lost. It's only been a few days that I've wandered various support sites, including this one. I've read quite a few stories, some more dra...	OpheliasBabyDoll	12	545	Jun 2, 2016 by RKTreats
	First time poster---How do you know when you're done? (Preview) Hello All...this post is a long time coming. I have been with my alcoholic boyfriend for 8.5 years, 3 trips to rehab, hours and hours of meetings, YEARS of aftercare, countless visits to the hospital, a D.U.I., and yet here I still am. My ABF has been in and out of AA for most of our relationship and has ha...	Emily W	2	418	Jun 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Another way to take care of me... (Preview) After another night of constant disruptions due to my AH drinking, I have decided today to prepare our guest room for a treasured guest...ME!! I am going to convert that guest room in to an oasis of relaxing comfort for myself for these times when sleeping in my own room is not serving me well. I am buyi...	Bethany66	5	461	Jun 2, 2016 by Freetime
	Vulnerable and desperate (Preview) I had read someone's post where they mentioned they needed to be vulnerable and desperate,in their situation in order to recover,I'm not understanding this for when I was vulnerable and desper I was at my also scariest also of being weak to another bad relationship,so that being where I don't want to...	lookingup	0	311	Jun 2, 2016 by lookingup
	DOES ANYONE ELSE HATE BEER COMMERCIALS!!!??? (Preview) Anyone else feel this way? I am so sick and tired of how they portray beer in commercials (even the Whiskey ones with Mila Kunis now! Like its all sexy for your man to be downing a few) In a new Light one they are obviously targeting 20 somethings, showing happy, super fit girls in bikinis holding a be...	Aerin	10	556	Jun 2, 2016 by Aerin
	On vacation - nerves getting me - struggling with taking care of ME! (Preview) Hello my MIP family, I am currently in Maui, Hawaii on a "vacation of a lifetime" and (after a quite rocky start) enjoying myself to the best of my ability. I am struggling with some things though and have been trying to use my program to help me with them. First, a family member (the one footing the majo...	Doingmybest	6	580	Jun 2, 2016 by Doingmybest
	How much is too much? (Preview) Hi everyone. New member here. My Wife has been struggling with alcoholism for about 4 years now. She did a 30 day inpatient 4 years ago and has been going off and on to AA meetings. She just got caught at work (medical field)stealing meds and using them at work. Ive been told shes done this for about a year....	Paintballer	3	489	Jun 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	New, Scared and Embarrassed. Q re: Anonymity (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm been reading through page after page here and am finally ready to head to my first f2f meeting tonight. I'm both pleased to be going and scared at the same time. After years of trying to force life into a mold of my design and pretending to everyone around me that I'm really successful at i...	BetterBunny	9	790	Jun 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Insanity- all things old are new again (Preview) hi everyone- My A has been sober 18 days, but has been in the hospital the last week. My mind has been in a virtual fog the last week, trying to run my spouse's business and working my job and juggling everything. I'm exhausted. And today a bit emotional. I was talking to my A on the phone to see what she ne...	gabigail	2	469	Jun 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel angry and embarrassed? (Preview) My AH is two months sober in AA and our home environment is much improved. He is working hard and I can see the big changes. This past weekend we were invited to stay with my sister and her fiancee. My AH, sister, nephew and dad (along with a few others) attended the Indy 500 to celebrate my Dad's birthday. T...	CoopsMom	7	674	Jun 1, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 1/6 (Preview) Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...	missmeliss	4	439	Jun 1, 2016 by sweetness34
	New to forum...married to an emotionally abusive dry drunk and need advice (Preview) I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...	Ddw7415	11	908	May 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Hope for Today May 31 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and rea...	yanksfan51	3	536	May 31, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	So grateful (Preview) Good morning MIP Family, My hope is that all of you are doing well. I haven't been here for a few days, and wanted to check in. First, I want to say thank you to any of you who might have lost a loved one as they served our country. A young man I used to babysit, who grew up in my neighborhood, was kidded in Afghan...	sweetness34	3	415	May 31, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	My adopted son ... behaviour ... family full of addictions (graphic warning) (Preview) for those that dont know me .. a brief catch up. I adopted a neglected precious 22 month old child that is now 11 years old. Detaching, even with love. I cant seem to do, I feel I am still raising/parenting him. I let him face consequences for his actions. The loss this child has faced ....... He lost his bi...	sweeetr	5	559	May 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	Where has the MIP Main Page gone? (Preview) I'm wondering where the Al-anon chat/meeting room has gone, and the home page. Does anyone know? This is the only page I can access. I have had several members from the chat room message me to ask.	Overcome	4	656	May 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	Road Trip - Through the Month End....Call me Crazy or Call me Courageous? (Preview) On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in...	Iamhere	21	703	May 31, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	advise (Preview) like i said, i am new here. my first qualifier was my father. seems to me the people I've observed in al-anon seem to work much harder to get healthy and live with the alcoholic than the alcoholic does in AA. when is enough enough.??	runi	6	534	May 31, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Introducing Myself (Preview) Hello! I became aware of Al-Anon back in 2013. I was going through a devastating separation from my partner of nearly 11 years, and the resulting fallout led me to crawl on hands and knees to several different 12 step groups focusing on dysfunction in relationships. This fellowship and others like it...	Nix	6	610	May 31, 2016 by tiredtonite
	My greatest fear... (Preview) This evening, after several weeks of peace, my greatest fear was realized....or at least has reared it's ugly head in my mind again. My Abf who is seven weeks into his recovery and has told me he is interested in no one else, received a phone call from one of the women he found on a dating site several month...	RKTreats	2	470	May 30, 2016 by Mattie
	expectations vs ? (Preview) Face to face meetings are nearly impossible for me to get to right now & I'm in the thick of some things I need to write out. May is hard for me, in general. Where I live, we have race for the cure (komen breast cancer walk) the weekend of mother's day, then mother's day (my mom died a few years ago of breas...	cloverleaf	2	477	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not sure where I go from here (Preview) Today is my one-week anniversary (counting every milestone right now) of attending my first Al-Anon meeting. I attended three meetings last week and am preparing to go into my fourth meeting tonight. I'm still struggling with how to know when any progress is being made. I know I want a resolution now...	RKTreats	8	731	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	thought I could use my experience with addict in role as a nurse WRING WRONG WRONG! (Preview) I am a nursing student. I had this crazy idea that I could do something noble and use my experience gained married to an addict, to help patients with addiction issues. So after working med/surg and seeing the enormous amount of patients that come in with meth addictions. I finally had one. I can sa...	Rinn	16	769	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Grateful for In Person Alanon Meetings (Preview) I attended an Alanon meeting this week where the topic was the Alanon Concepts. The Concepts are not often a suggested topic and I was so grateful someone rather new to the program chose to explore the meaning of each of the Concepts and share what they'd learned with the rest of us. It was a gift to recei...	tiredtonite	2	450	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Went back! (Preview) Well I finally did it and went back to a ftf meeting! I actually enjoyed the experience very much and felt as if I was in the right place...finally! It has been a long and arduous process to get back to the rooms and I am very glad I made the effort. I sincerely hope to continue meetings and to learn from my f...	Doingmybest	4	601	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Going Crazy (Preview) Long story short: my Mom is an alcoholic and pain pill addict who will not stay sober. She has her moments where she does well, but for the most part the longest she can go is about 2 weeks without a relapse. She has been through 2 VERY expensive rehab stints funded by my Dad to no avail. When she came home th...	WhoDat4Life	4	696	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back from AWESOME CRUISE (Preview) Choppy waters, a bit of unsteadyness but Had a dream 3 day cruise with boyfriend !!!! won on slots,yummy food,very romantic etc Feel grateful,blessed and special. Have 3-4 job interviews this week lined up. Hope all of you are blessed with good things coming into your lives A :]	YARNCRAZY	7	768	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	First time poster--looking for some advice when spouse says I'm not supportive (Preview) Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...	cm2772	7	434	May 30, 2016 by xeno59
	Love of the Program (Preview) As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...	unbroken13	7	552	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	This would have upset me, before. (Preview) Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...	missmeliss	3	520	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	ESH on "the wisdom to know the difference"? (Preview) Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I can change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...	oceanpine	9	840	May 30, 2016 by oceanpine
	Courage to Change 30/5 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the concept of being gentle with ourselves, and how very foreign and strange that seems after living with alcoholism and hating ourselves for our shortcomings. The writer says they first managed this by imagining a kitten and the gentle and caring feelings a kitten would evoke...	missmeliss	4	468	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Mr Hyde Costume in the Trunk. (Preview) Such a strange, new but not new place that my partner and I are at. He is working, comes to visit with the nicest of intentions, says he is so very sorry for the horrors that occurred in the past and, they will never happen again. The goal, according to him, is to work towards living together again. Which w...	missmeliss	12	3076	May 30, 2016 by vorpal
	Gave ultimatum today - 90 in 90 (Preview) My husband had been working his program and doing better, but it's been going the other way for a while, and has become unmanageable. After having consulted with addiction professionals, today I told him he cannot return to live in our home until he has completed 90 documented meetings in 90 days. He t...	Crochet mama	4	598	May 30, 2016 by pinkchip
	Relationships/Dating (Preview) So I've finally decided I'm ready to date which has been a major learning curve however all part of my recovery for which I'm very grateful for, I seriously have learned a lot about myself and I know what I want in a relationship. I sure know what I don't!!! It's one of those things that has been very inter...	SerenityRUS	3	577	May 30, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Feeling lost and alone (Preview) Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.	cbehr	10	854	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Just want to introduce myself (Preview) I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship. I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning. I've b...	NteacherJ	4	488	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Why am I so positive? (Preview) I will tell you why! God is blessing me & working in my life today. I am not the center of the universe. I know who holds the future & he is already there. I don't know what is to come but it looks bright in my little world. The world may be messy but I don't have to engage! That's the whole story. I am...	Hoot Nanny	4	413	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change Reading 5-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 28th, speaks about the habit of "comparing" which often leads to finding "ourselves lacking" and therefore to despairing. The reading goes on to say the only valid comparison we should make is to compare ourselves from yesterday to who we are today. We look at how w...	hotrod	5	3004	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Site message (Preview) If you encountered the message:"The site has stepped out", when you attempted to log on, I am glad you found an alternate sign on route as John has been notified and it should be corrected soon.	hotrod	8	493	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	ODAT 5-27 ~ Seeing Beyond What Seems to Be (Preview) Yesterdays Courage to Change reminded us that We dont see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Furthering that line of thought, the author of todays ODAT reading states that with the help of our higher power, we can see beyond what seems to be.We do this by lifting ourselves from the fog of our pro...	Enigmatic	4	663	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Which Al Anon book should I read as a newbie? (Preview) Hi all! I just started attending Al Anon meeting a few weeks ago and I've been reading "Hope for Today". I find it very helpful and insightful, even calming, but I need something to read to help me get started in the program. I don't have a sponsor yet so I'm hoping to get some tips for a good first book to rea...	HITM	4	4387	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 5-29-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 29th speaks about the two huge stumbling blocks of fear and worry. The reading points out that these painful feelings can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality. Many focuses on the future and this causes unrealistic worry.If we can learn to stay in the presen...	hotrod	4	1108	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do I allow a recovering alcoholic to have a drink in front of me? (Preview) Hi everyone, and thanks for your advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months and she was very open with me about struggles with alcohol, having gone to AA, asking if I might be interested in joining her at some point, mentioning that this group might be beneficial for me to understand mor...	Operjay	29	975	May 29, 2016 by Rinn
	Step 10 posted (Preview) How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62207004/alano...	hotrod	0	348	May 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Setting boundaries (Preview) Since I am still so new to the program I am still a little shaky on setting boundaries so that me and my kids can have some sort of normalcy in this crazy life we are now living. My AH doesn't feel he has to tell me anything about what he's doing or where he's going. When before we told each other everything....	Dlove	9	615	May 27, 2016 by lookingup
	boundaries, how long stay with alcoholic (Preview) i'm new here. how long does someone stay with an alcoholic? what boundaries are realistic under our roof?	runi	3	492	May 27, 2016 by runi
	dad's suicide and family complications (Preview) Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death & I need to write out some of this clotted brain matter. So, my father was an A, and he started drinking when he was really young. After joining a church that required abstinence, he became dry for a while, obv without ever dealing with his stuff. In the...	cloverleaf	1	439	May 27, 2016 by missmeliss
	Miss being on here but... (Preview) Not much to say cause things have been great. All things are working together for the good.Good things happen when I help others. Simple as that!	Hoot Nanny	2	379	May 26, 2016 by milkwood
	C2C 5-26 How Flexibility Helps in Recovery (Preview) Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.The author noted:· We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwa...	Enigmatic	3	391	May 26, 2016 by Enigmatic
	so confused (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. For years I dealt with emotional abuse from his drinking. And I was an enabler because I constantly supported him financially because I knew he would have ended up dead and I couldn't let that happen. I was the only one there for him when things got bad and when I finally ran out...	roxy	6	597	May 26, 2016 by Mattie
	An Unmanageable Life (Preview) Hi everyone, This topic sounds like the title of a LIfetime Movie haha... I'm still here - reading, contributing when I can and trying to 'listen and learn'. I havent' been able to get to a live meeting in 3 weeks now, and I'm feeling it. Everything is done with my ex boyfriend. I sent him a one line, do...	CyndiODAT	1	499	May 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	How to NOT pick up the rope (Preview) Hi all, I have been enmeshed in the insanity of my exBF emailing me all week, challenging me, wanting to 'discuss' this and that. I tried a 'no response' tactic to his initial email a week ago, but that prompted him to check up on me on Facebook and discover that I am doing quite well, looking healthy and...	CyndiODAT	3	1109	May 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why can't i figure out what to do or say during one of my husband's dry drunk rages/rants dry drunk rageaholic assertiveness effective communication maturity alanon codependency rage (Preview) My husband is a dry drunk that uses anger as a way to stimulate himself (I'm guessing). I know it's some kind of rageaholic thing b/c I've seen him go into a rage about a typo in the newspaper by a columnist that he otherwise loves. He'll choose ANYTHING to rage about...whatever is handy, even if someti...	gen4	6	7946	May 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.