Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Aerin · Aerin

I am obviously on this board to understand my Abf and his actions. I am still baffled that they say hurtful things while drinking but next day seem to forget or play down what happen.( i no longer bring it up) Do they truly not see how they act and how can they possibly not be thinking in ths moment, omg I am ac...

Ninobeli · Ninobeli

I'm new to this . My AH went through an inpatient and the outpatient program. Things were great for awhile, now he is back to sneaking drinks and lying. My question / dilemma is ... I don't know how to react or what to do when he drinks. He tends to say " I'm sorry" and acts like it's back to life as normal . I fee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

It's a new month! Today's reading talks about coming to the program in the hopes of fixing our qualifier. We came often to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that our lives would then return to normal once they were 'fixed'. In the Al-Anon program, we come to understand that we di...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Happened upon a hidden bottle of gin yesterday, which answers my question about how my AH is nodding off in the evenings though I've not seen him have more than one drink. He was drifting off late yesterday afternoon (head thrown straight back), and we had plans to go to a concert later. I prayed for my HP...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I was in al anon for 10 years from 30 - 40 and then moved to a small city in Canada and there not many meetings and they cross talk and gossip so I have been white knuckling my recovery for 13 years!! (I had a child at age 40) I have been in a bit of a dark night of the soul after a separation and my elde...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I got honest with myself yesterday and addressed emotions I have been feeling off and on and off and on for the past 6 - 8 months or so about full retirement. I've been working for 60 years or so at various trades successfully owning my own business and such and I've been married 3 times w...

carlyrodgers · carlyrodgers

Hello all! My name is Carly Rodgers and I am conducting a study on ACOAs, alcoholism, and levels of hope and attachment. If you would like to participate, you can click on the link below. Attached is the informed consent if you so wish to look it over. Thank you! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/a...

Sara in CO · Sara in CO

I just hit a point with my AH in which I suggested divorce. We have not even been married a year. The truth is, the last thing I want is a divorce. I want him to get better! To try! To think of anyone besides himself. I want my best friend. :( He started this "plan" three weeks ago that he swore up and down would...

Iwmlb · Iwmlb

Hi. I was just told I am an adult child. that explains a lot. I am not in a current relationship rhe last one was very painful, I have a history of abuse. I want to get better. I keep hearing people say 'take care of yourself'. They talk about being healthy and young looking and so on. Cmound anyone tell me wha...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 31 speaks about tackling a job a little bit at a time. It points out that housekeeping sometimes is overwhelming, but if we do one small task and get something accomplished we feel that it is possible to keep moving forward. That is what one day at a time is all about. If we take o...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hotrod (Betty) is having a birthday tomorrow and plans to have a great day! So that she can start her tomorrow off with love and blessings from our MIP Family, I wanted to reach out one day early and say - Happy Birthday Betty!!! You are the gift that keeps on giving. Each day, every day - no matter my mood...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Thanks in advance

Dswat · Dswat

My current gf over the last year I have found out is a pretty strong alcoholic. I think shes finally getting herself straight and this is shown by her behavior. Its tough for her but he had a divorce a few years back where she lost everything and is now living in her moms basement. She stopped drinking and w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

In our daily reader, it discusses happiness as an 'inside job'. It suggests that I can be as happy as I decide to be. Living with this disease and life issues, we often get distracted and find our happiness fleeting. It's not realistic to be happy all the time, yet we might achieve this goal more often...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

I posted this as a thread of my intro post, but realized it might better serve as a solo thread lol.AH was caught for his first DUI on Tuesday. I've been dealing with some pretty intense emotions, anger, embarrassment, resentment, and frustration. I've told him while I happily support his seeking h...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

I'm having trouble trusting my perceptions of what's going on with my high functioning AH. He had cut back on drinking but slipping back to drinking more and is nodding off again at night, though I only see him have one drink when usually he nods off after three drinks. At first I thought he was just tired...

El · El

Well, I can see some progress on my part. Feels like 2 steps back and 1 forward some days, but I can pause before responding and decide whether I will use my al-non tools or not. AH has been in a lazy mode lately. Drinking is up and down. Some productive days around the house or errands (he's retired with no...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

Hello everyone - haven't been on in a long time (OP as LadyM, but old email is discontinued and I can't remember my info lol), but am happy to see this community still is supporting each other. :) My AH has been caught this wweek with his first OUI and am so angry. He is asking for my support as he goes throu...

knit2thepoint · knit2thepoint

The spouse of an AA friend in my AH fellowship apparently heard of my struggles with finding an Al Anon group. She reached out in a very amazing way and shared this with me. I do not know if this is allowed or not but I felt like I needed to pass it on.

a4l · a4l

Half way through another year and my marbles are together for the most part, except for fear of the future. My boy will be 6 next year and off to full time special needs school. I'm sad but realistic about it. Its where he has to be as he is non verbal and has high sensory input needs and still isn't toiletin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading suggests that the Al-Anon program is a spiritual program, not a religious program. No religious belief is required and we each get to choose any power greater than ourselves as our spiritual being. If anyone has had LTP (Less Than Perfect) life experiences with organized re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from courage to change talks about patience with program, self and growth. It opens with the story about a stonecutter who strikes a stone 99 times with no impact - no split, no chip - no apparent effect whatsoever! Yet, with the 100th strike on the stone, it splits in two. It was NOT t...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hello lovely Al-anoners I was a member here a couple years ago, working my Al-anon program. Been away working on outside issues. Glad to now be home in Al-anon again. Looking forward to my him group on Monday. I couldn't remember my old username. Feels good to be back.

KT2015 · KT2015

As of this month I have been in the program for a full year. I attended my first Al Anon meeting one year ago. It was the C2C reading today that made me realize that I read it a year ago and that is how I remembered. So this morning I have been reflecting on how the program has been over the past year. I went f...

knit2thepoint · knit2thepoint

My AH has been sober for 6 months and I am feeling more and more lost. Our marriage has been great and honestly it was pretty good before he decided to get sober. He calls himself a "high bottom drunk" and there was never any type of consequence because of his drinking, he just decided that he was done wit...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I just needed to connect today and share! I am going to try to get on a nighttime PHONE meeting but have called and some are not happening. If someone knows of a good nighttime meeting say 8pm that would be great. I am in my 50s and I had a son later in life - he is 13. My father is now 85 and dyin...

helpless mom · helpless mom

I found out for sure that my adult daughter is drinking again. I'm in total shock because she was doing so well. She has been going to meetings and talking regularly to her sponsor. She lives in another state and I need some advice. Should I confront her and tell her I want nothing to do with her anymore? Or...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 27 speaks about the habit of gossip and criticism. It points out that Al-Anon suggests that there be "no gossip or criticism of one another" and that we leave our judgmental attitude outside the doors. When we" practice these principles" in the meetings.it is important to...

Searching Lady · Searching Lady

I'm new to this and need answers so here goes. My wife drinks everyday until she goes to bed. On work days she starts as soon as she gets home from work and on her days off she usually starts between 2-4 pm. She is high functioning and is not abusive but her personality changes and I don't like the drinking he...

Searching Lady · Searching Lady

I'm new to this and need answers so here goes. My wife drinks everyday until she goes to bed. On work days she starts as soon as she gets home from work and on her days off she usually starts between 2-4 pm. She is high functioning and is not abusive but her personality changes and I don't like the drinking he...

terrygrace · terrygrace

I have attended many Alanon meetings in the past. I have also attended many OA and AA meetings. I can't say that I am a member of any 12 step program because I haven't had a sponsor in years and I haven't worked the steps for years. I have been in emotional and spiritual relapse for about 10 years now. Ever si...

gabigail · gabigail

My A lost her job this weekend. I have been relying on this income to pay bills. Now that medical bills are piling up, Im in over my head. I checked and saw that Im eligible for food stamps. I have a college degree, and used to work in my field. Now, Im doing what I did in high school and have lost myself an...

Nightingale · Nightingale

So last year my "sober" Abh started treatment for Hep C. It was a long year of really bad side affects and him being too sick to do anything....including work. He had been self employed so no disability. Anyway.....it was a Hugh strain but we got through it and thankfully it worked. The hep C is gone! On...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

reading JSHOLL,s post got me thinking about my own new relationship. When I was with the XAH the last 2 yrs id learn how to use Alanon to deal with fights and anger. It came to me that it was like my X was setting a fire in a way and i used to make it bigger by adding more fuel[ my reactions,bad language,threats...

andromeda · andromeda

I was reading a few blogs recently about love and codependency. I'm finally starting to learn that I can never really 'know' if someone loves me just because they say so or just because they act like they do. But, just because of this, it won't prevent me from risking and falling in love and giving love...

Jshollinger · Jshollinger

My h and I are stuck in a cycle. The next morning he is full of guilt. He says sorry, loves me, and becuase i am ready for normal, I accept his apology, fear if I don't it will just cause him animosity and reason to drink. So we sweep aside the issue. Kiss and make up.....lather...rinse.... repeat. I am not a...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

At my f2f meeting on the 7th tradition, we had a really nice discussion of what it means to be self supporting. Someone shared about deciding to volunteer for an event and just doing it without anyone els's approval or hoping for someone to come along - self supporting our own desires and interests. I re...

LeahC · LeahC

It's been a few years since I have posted here. My husband went away to rehab to make amends to me and my 2 small children. It started out as a 30 day stay, I was excited that there was a half way program for him to stay in for transitional housing to get him used to being sober after rehab, and work the program,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about how difficult it can be for those of us affected by alcoholism to communicate our ideas clearly and directly. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home and not being encouraged to share viewpoints. My case was slightly different but also...

Wiggity · Wiggity

A friend of mine is currently in treatment. She has one week left. I was SO happy when she finally agreed to go to treatment. This was after about three months of urging her to get help after watching her decline to the point of looking like Skeletor. She has been an alcoholic for years, but in the last...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well I guess my birthday is not over. I am sitting @ the coffee shop where I have two gift certificates from two friends. I prefer to have tea. I have already treated one of my friends to coffee. I know that I will pass on more unselfish acts. Have a great Tuesday!

humm122988 · humm122988

Hello! I am new to al anon and have several questions. What do I do if there's not a meeting any where close to me? How do I locate the material for step work? Would you recommend me getting a sponsor immediately? Any and all info for a new person is greatly appreciated!

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I was in al anon for 10 years when I lived in New York and then I moved to Canada to a very small city and frankly the meetings had tons of cross talk and it did not feel safe for me. I have been in therapy and "white knuckling it" I am SO in need of RECOVERY!! My emotional recovery is in a bad spac...

Gina M · Gina M

I am new to Al-Anon. But it seems like a place that will help me be a better me. I have been verbally abused, controlled, and manipulated by an alcoholic for five and half years. We have been married almost 4 years. We have a beautiful son together. From another relationship, I have a daughter who is 16. Sh...

ThreeCmom · ThreeCmom

As a parent we all have fears, hopes and dreams for our children. As a parent with an alcoholic (soon to be ex) spouse, my fear has always been that one or all three of my children would follow the path of alcoholism/addiction like their father and his father. Today the reality that my 17 year old son is an a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just thought I would say HI to everyone. Having a good day! On the computer not on my tablet or cell phone. It is so much easier to type on here at the library.

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C talks about saying yes when we mean no, and how many of us, at the outset, have the wish to be able to speak up for our true desires but lack the courage to do so and so instead we agree to things we do not want and end up resentful and tired of our own relentless people pleasing. The reading suggest...

Aerin · Aerin

I notice a trend and hopefully others have experienced it so I don't think it is some fault in me. (not trying to be snobby, but I am a fit attractive social woman) My ABF (we are both 45 btw) has definitely decreased his drinking in the last 6months of our 4yrs together. He has I would say one or two slight sl...

likeaboss · likeaboss

Hi everyone, After twelve years with my AH, I've decided it's the best for both of us and our infant daughter to separate. The problem is that I can't get up the courage or put the proper words and thoughts together to actually talk to him about it. He's actively drinking right now (after being hospitali...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

i have discovered in past that somehow i am attracting towards me only men who are needy and needs saving or something and not finding those normal healthy responsible men... so i am wondering how al anon might help to find healthy partner or friend... maybe some older members can share their esh.

Rollingstones248 · Rollingstones248

Hello I've been having trouble with my mother's drinking problems since I was probably 6 or 7. I never know what to do. she's been in therapy. she has a dui . In all honesty here I am just lost. I am depressed . I don't know what to do. Can somebody please help. She lashes out, she says horrible things my fam...

Hope floats · Hope floats

Just having a hard time trying to understand why I get upset at my Ah for going out with his Sponser every night to a meeting then going out after the meeting to get ice cream or dinner or go to see cars and not coming home until 11 at night . This all brings me back to the last time he was in recovery but the only t...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for July 24 speaks about the 11th step. This is the Step where we pray for the knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out. The reading points out that doing God's will doesn't mean that we perform heroic acts . It can simply mean we can be smelling a rose or washing the car or cleanin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was blessed to celebrate my 50th birthday w friend & family. My sister & bro in law drove about 900 miles just to be here for me. They surprised me. What a special visit! Some of my al anon friends helped greatly & did things for me that I had trouble doing for myself. Gifts & cards in abun...

helpless mom · helpless mom

Not sure where to start. My adult daughter has been to rehab 4 times. She has been an alcoholic since she was a teenager. She has been sober for the past couple of years but I fear she has relapsed Again. As a single woman, she socializes with drinkers. She seems to get along okay, then all of sudden she deci...

hotrod · hotrod

I hope you have a "Hoot" on your 50 th Birthday and that your party is filled with joy.

WorriedSick · WorriedSick

My brother (62) lives in KY. He lives with his girlfriend. About 2 months ago, she texted me asking me to get him out of her house as his drinking has become too much. In my calls to him over the past year, we have spoken much about his disease. Also, his drinking has become much worse. I did start looki...

Thinkngal · Thinkngal

hi everyone, new here but not to Alanon. I attend 2 ftf meetings a week but feeling low all the same and at tonight's step meeting I couldn't even share, the only time this has happened since I walked through the doors 20 years ago. Been married 46 years and of those years my hb who No longer drinks but uses l...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hi strangers! I have been gone a while...summer is always so busy :) Nothing has changed in my situation. AH is actively drinking daily, all day, managing to work (self-employed) and still in deep denial that his alcoholism is hurting anyone other than himself. He admits he is an alcoholic. I guess th...

Melenzt13 · Melenzt13

Hi everyone, I'm new this forum and was seeking some advice and support. My husband is a recovering alcoholic for 7 years. I met him when he was 3 years sober. When we met, he discussed his sobriety saying he was comfortable with being around alcohol and others drinking. I was at the time, and still am, a s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	If Alcoholics say hurtful things, don't they regret it? (Preview) I am obviously on this board to understand my Abf and his actions. I am still baffled that they say hurtful things while drinking but next day seem to forget or play down what happen.( i no longer bring it up) Do they truly not see how they act and how can they possibly not be thinking in ths moment, omg I am ac...	Aerin	14	2556	Aug 2, 2016 by milkwood
	How to react to relapse (Preview) I'm new to this . My AH went through an inpatient and the outpatient program. Things were great for awhile, now he is back to sneaking drinks and lying. My question / dilemma is ... I don't know how to react or what to do when he drinks. He tends to say " I'm sorry" and acts like it's back to life as normal . I fee...	Ninobeli	5	696	Aug 1, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/1/16 (Preview) It's a new month! Today's reading talks about coming to the program in the hopes of fixing our qualifier. We came often to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that our lives would then return to normal once they were 'fixed'. In the Al-Anon program, we come to understand that we di...	Iamhere	1	418	Aug 1, 2016 by hotrod
	Used the tools -- they worked!! Boundaries taking care of myself (Preview) Happened upon a hidden bottle of gin yesterday, which answers my question about how my AH is nodding off in the evenings though I've not seen him have more than one drink. He was drifting off late yesterday afternoon (head thrown straight back), and we had plans to go to a concert later. I prayed for my HP...	Mcat54	4	4789	Jul 31, 2016 by likeaboss
	Can we TURN OVER our Depression and Anxiety to HP? I would like to try it... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I was in al anon for 10 years from 30 - 40 and then moved to a small city in Canada and there not many meetings and they cross talk and gossip so I have been white knuckling my recovery for 13 years!! (I had a child at age 40) I have been in a bit of a dark night of the soul after a separation and my elde...	Charlotte22	5	473	Jul 31, 2016 by savingmyself
	In negotiations with HP (Preview) Aloha Family...I got honest with myself yesterday and addressed emotions I have been feeling off and on and off and on for the past 6 - 8 months or so about full retirement. I've been working for 60 years or so at various trades successfully owning my own business and such and I've been married 3 times w...	Jerry F	3	457	Jul 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Participate in a study on ACOAs/alcoholism and hope!!!!! (Preview) Hello all! My name is Carly Rodgers and I am conducting a study on ACOAs, alcoholism, and levels of hope and attachment. If you would like to participate, you can click on the link below. Attached is the informed consent if you so wish to look it over. Thank you! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/a...	carlyrodgers	0	270	Jul 31, 2016 by carlyrodgers
	So beyond frustrated and hurt (Preview) I just hit a point with my AH in which I suggested divorce. We have not even been married a year. The truth is, the last thing I want is a divorce. I want him to get better! To try! To think of anyone besides himself. I want my best friend. :( He started this "plan" three weeks ago that he swore up and down would...	Sara in CO	9	587	Jul 31, 2016 by knit2thepoint
	Sort of new to alanon. Hi and question (Preview) Hi. I was just told I am an adult child. that explains a lot. I am not in a current relationship rhe last one was very painful, I have a history of abuse. I want to get better. I keep hearing people say 'take care of yourself'. They talk about being healthy and young looking and so on. Cmound anyone tell me wha...	Iwmlb	7	474	Jul 31, 2016 by el-cee
	C2C Reading 7-31-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 31 speaks about tackling a job a little bit at a time. It points out that housekeeping sometimes is overwhelming, but if we do one small task and get something accomplished we feel that it is possible to keep moving forward. That is what one day at a time is all about. If we take o...	hotrod	2	382	Jul 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOTROD (Tomorrow - so we're early) (Preview) Hotrod (Betty) is having a birthday tomorrow and plans to have a great day! So that she can start her tomorrow off with love and blessings from our MIP Family, I wanted to reach out one day early and say - Happy Birthday Betty!!! You are the gift that keeps on giving. Each day, every day - no matter my mood...	Iamhere	23	619	Jul 31, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Is there an Alanon online meeting today UK time (Preview) Thanks in advance	Barbs45	1	335	Jul 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Found out my gf is alcoholic (Preview) My current gf over the last year I have found out is a pretty strong alcoholic. I think shes finally getting herself straight and this is shown by her behavior. Its tough for her but he had a divorce a few years back where she lost everything and is now living in her moms basement. She stopped drinking and w...	Dswat	3	455	Jul 30, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/30/16 (Preview) In our daily reader, it discusses happiness as an 'inside job'. It suggests that I can be as happy as I decide to be. Living with this disease and life issues, we often get distracted and find our happiness fleeting. It's not realistic to be happy all the time, yet we might achieve this goal more often...	Iamhere	1	398	Jul 30, 2016 by hotrod
	The journey through his first DUI (Preview) I posted this as a thread of my intro post, but realized it might better serve as a solo thread lol.AH was caught for his first DUI on Tuesday. I've been dealing with some pretty intense emotions, anger, embarrassment, resentment, and frustration. I've told him while I happily support his seeking h...	LadyM1	5	447	Jul 30, 2016 by Mattie
	How do I trust my perceptions? (Preview) I'm having trouble trusting my perceptions of what's going on with my high functioning AH. He had cut back on drinking but slipping back to drinking more and is nodding off again at night, though I only see him have one drink when usually he nods off after three drinks. At first I thought he was just tired...	Mcat54	11	822	Jul 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress (Preview) Well, I can see some progress on my part. Feels like 2 steps back and 1 forward some days, but I can pause before responding and decide whether I will use my al-non tools or not. AH has been in a lazy mode lately. Drinking is up and down. Some productive days around the house or errands (he's retired with no...	El	5	410	Jul 30, 2016 by blindsided
	Hi again (Preview) Hello everyone - haven't been on in a long time (OP as LadyM, but old email is discontinued and I can't remember my info lol), but am happy to see this community still is supporting each other. :) My AH has been caught this wweek with his first OUI and am so angry. He is asking for my support as he goes throu...	LadyM1	4	424	Jul 30, 2016 by LadyM1
	Funny how things work (Preview) The spouse of an AA friend in my AH fellowship apparently heard of my struggles with finding an Al Anon group. She reached out in a very amazing way and shared this with me. I do not know if this is allowed or not but I felt like I needed to pass it on.	knit2thepoint	8	480	Jul 29, 2016 by milkwood
	Just musing. (Preview) Half way through another year and my marbles are together for the most part, except for fear of the future. My boy will be 6 next year and off to full time special needs school. I'm sad but realistic about it. Its where he has to be as he is non verbal and has high sensory input needs and still isn't toiletin...	a4l	3	444	Jul 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/29/16 (Preview) Today's daily reading suggests that the Al-Anon program is a spiritual program, not a religious program. No religious belief is required and we each get to choose any power greater than ourselves as our spiritual being. If anyone has had LTP (Less Than Perfect) life experiences with organized re...	Iamhere	1	303	Jul 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/28/16 (Preview) Today's reading from courage to change talks about patience with program, self and growth. It opens with the story about a stonecutter who strikes a stone 99 times with no impact - no split, no chip - no apparent effect whatsoever! Yet, with the 100th strike on the stone, it splits in two. It was NOT t...	Iamhere	4	674	Jul 28, 2016 by LaurieA
	Hello again (Preview) Hello lovely Al-anoners I was a member here a couple years ago, working my Al-anon program. Been away working on outside issues. Glad to now be home in Al-anon again. Looking forward to my him group on Monday. I couldn't remember my old username. Feels good to be back.	Calm Lady	9	467	Jul 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	I've been in Al Anon for one year (Preview) As of this month I have been in the program for a full year. I attended my first Al Anon meeting one year ago. It was the C2C reading today that made me realize that I read it a year ago and that is how I remembered. So this morning I have been reflecting on how the program has been over the past year. I went f...	KT2015	10	656	Jul 28, 2016 by Mirandac
	Confused (Preview) My AH has been sober for 6 months and I am feeling more and more lost. Our marriage has been great and honestly it was pretty good before he decided to get sober. He calls himself a "high bottom drunk" and there was never any type of consequence because of his drinking, he just decided that he was done wit...	knit2thepoint	13	474	Jul 28, 2016 by Kcsnooze
	Feeling SUPER Sad trying to LET go of my alcoholic father and my expectations (Preview) Hi Everyone, I just needed to connect today and share! I am going to try to get on a nighttime PHONE meeting but have called and some are not happening. If someone knows of a good nighttime meeting say 8pm that would be great. I am in my 50s and I had a son later in life - he is 13. My father is now 85 and dyin...	Charlotte22	4	529	Jul 28, 2016 by kadriliisa
	Relapse confirmed (Preview) I found out for sure that my adult daughter is drinking again. I'm in total shock because she was doing so well. She has been going to meetings and talking regularly to her sponsor. She lives in another state and I need some advice. Should I confront her and tell her I want nothing to do with her anymore? Or...	helpless mom	5	576	Jul 28, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change reading 7-27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 27 speaks about the habit of gossip and criticism. It points out that Al-Anon suggests that there be "no gossip or criticism of one another" and that we leave our judgmental attitude outside the doors. When we" practice these principles" in the meetings.it is important to...	hotrod	2	632	Jul 28, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Searching for answers (Preview) I'm new to this and need answers so here goes. My wife drinks everyday until she goes to bed. On work days she starts as soon as she gets home from work and on her days off she usually starts between 2-4 pm. She is high functioning and is not abusive but her personality changes and I don't like the drinking he...	Searching Lady	3	448	Jul 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Searching for answers (Preview) I'm new to this and need answers so here goes. My wife drinks everyday until she goes to bed. On work days she starts as soon as she gets home from work and on her days off she usually starts between 2-4 pm. She is high functioning and is not abusive but her personality changes and I don't like the drinking he...	Searching Lady	2	477	Jul 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	I've Been Trying to Do This Alone (Preview) I have attended many Alanon meetings in the past. I have also attended many OA and AA meetings. I can't say that I am a member of any 12 step program because I haven't had a sponsor in years and I haven't worked the steps for years. I have been in emotional and spiritual relapse for about 10 years now. Ever si...	terrygrace	8	531	Jul 28, 2016 by terrygrace
	Hitting rock bottom (Preview) My A lost her job this weekend. I have been relying on this income to pay bills. Now that medical bills are piling up, Im in over my head. I checked and saw that Im eligible for food stamps. I have a college degree, and used to work in my field. Now, Im doing what I did in high school and have lost myself an...	gabigail	19	900	Jul 28, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Slug.... (Preview) So last year my "sober" Abh started treatment for Hep C. It was a long year of really bad side affects and him being too sick to do anything....including work. He had been self employed so no disability. Anyway.....it was a Hugh strain but we got through it and thankfully it worked. The hep C is gone! On...	Nightingale	4	459	Jul 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	RELATING (Preview) reading JSHOLL,s post got me thinking about my own new relationship. When I was with the XAH the last 2 yrs id learn how to use Alanon to deal with fights and anger. It came to me that it was like my X was setting a fire in a way and i used to make it bigger by adding more fuel[ my reactions,bad language,threats...	YARNCRAZY	3	406	Jul 27, 2016 by Jaclyn
	How to know if someone really loves you.... (Preview) I was reading a few blogs recently about love and codependency. I'm finally starting to learn that I can never really 'know' if someone loves me just because they say so or just because they act like they do. But, just because of this, it won't prevent me from risking and falling in love and giving love...	andromeda	14	3477	Jul 27, 2016 by hotrod
	How to stop sweeping (Preview) My h and I are stuck in a cycle. The next morning he is full of guilt. He says sorry, loves me, and becuase i am ready for normal, I accept his apology, fear if I don't it will just cause him animosity and reason to drink. So we sweep aside the issue. Kiss and make up.....lather...rinse.... repeat. I am not a...	Jshollinger	11	765	Jul 27, 2016 by KT2015
	Trying something new (Preview) At my f2f meeting on the 7th tradition, we had a really nice discussion of what it means to be self supporting. Someone shared about deciding to volunteer for an event and just doing it without anyone els's approval or hoping for someone to come along - self supporting our own desires and interests. I re...	Taraxacum	10	781	Jul 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Heartbroken (Preview) It's been a few years since I have posted here. My husband went away to rehab to make amends to me and my 2 small children. It started out as a 30 day stay, I was excited that there was a half way program for him to stay in for transitional housing to get him used to being sober after rehab, and work the program,...	LeahC	9	659	Jul 27, 2016 by milkwood
	Hope for Today July 26 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about how difficult it can be for those of us affected by alcoholism to communicate our ideas clearly and directly. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home and not being encouraged to share viewpoints. My case was slightly different but also...	yanksfan51	8	847	Jul 27, 2016 by milkwood
	Having To Tough Love It... (Preview) A friend of mine is currently in treatment. She has one week left. I was SO happy when she finally agreed to go to treatment. This was after about three months of urging her to get help after watching her decline to the point of looking like Skeletor. She has been an alcoholic for years, but in the last...	Wiggity	14	987	Jul 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	It is the gift... (Preview) Well I guess my birthday is not over. I am sitting @ the coffee shop where I have two gift certificates from two friends. I prefer to have tea. I have already treated one of my friends to coffee. I know that I will pass on more unselfish acts. Have a great Tuesday!	Hoot Nanny	1	365	Jul 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	New...lots of questions... (Preview) Hello! I am new to al anon and have several questions. What do I do if there's not a meeting any where close to me? How do I locate the material for step work? Would you recommend me getting a sponsor immediately? Any and all info for a new person is greatly appreciated!	humm122988	7	637	Jul 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help With Sick Elderly Alcoholic Father - Dying of liver disease (Preview) Hi Everyone, I was in al anon for 10 years when I lived in New York and then I moved to Canada to a very small city and frankly the meetings had tons of cross talk and it did not feel safe for me. I have been in therapy and "white knuckling it" I am SO in need of RECOVERY!! My emotional recovery is in a bad spac...	Charlotte22	10	2197	Jul 26, 2016 by Charlotte22
	Confused (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon. But it seems like a place that will help me be a better me. I have been verbally abused, controlled, and manipulated by an alcoholic for five and half years. We have been married almost 4 years. We have a beautiful son together. From another relationship, I have a daughter who is 16. Sh...	Gina M	3	446	Jul 26, 2016 by Jozie
	Trying to stay strong (Preview) As a parent we all have fears, hopes and dreams for our children. As a parent with an alcoholic (soon to be ex) spouse, my fear has always been that one or all three of my children would follow the path of alcoholism/addiction like their father and his father. Today the reality that my 17 year old son is an a...	ThreeCmom	7	609	Jul 26, 2016 by ThreeCmom
	just stopped by to say HI! (Preview) Just thought I would say HI to everyone. Having a good day! On the computer not on my tablet or cell phone. It is so much easier to type on here at the library.	Hoot Nanny	2	2015	Jul 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 25/7 (Preview) Today's C2C talks about saying yes when we mean no, and how many of us, at the outset, have the wish to be able to speak up for our true desires but lack the courage to do so and so instead we agree to things we do not want and end up resentful and tired of our own relentless people pleasing. The reading suggest...	missmeliss	4	525	Jul 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	SEX & STUFF (Preview) I notice a trend and hopefully others have experienced it so I don't think it is some fault in me. (not trying to be snobby, but I am a fit attractive social woman) My ABF (we are both 45 btw) has definitely decreased his drinking in the last 6months of our 4yrs together. He has I would say one or two slight sl...	Aerin	7	738	Jul 25, 2016 by pinkchip
	Detaching with love and separating from AH (Preview) Hi everyone, After twelve years with my AH, I've decided it's the best for both of us and our infant daughter to separate. The problem is that I can't get up the courage or put the proper words and thoughts together to actually talk to him about it. He's actively drinking right now (after being hospitali...	likeaboss	7	810	Jul 25, 2016 by SDB
	how al anon has helped you to find healthy partner friend? (Preview) i have discovered in past that somehow i am attracting towards me only men who are needy and needs saving or something and not finding those normal healthy responsible men... so i am wondering how al anon might help to find healthy partner or friend... maybe some older members can share their esh.	kadriliisa	11	733	Jul 25, 2016 by Bethany66
	Child needing help with mother (Preview) Hello I've been having trouble with my mother's drinking problems since I was probably 6 or 7. I never know what to do. she's been in therapy. she has a dui . In all honesty here I am just lost. I am depressed . I don't know what to do. Can somebody please help. She lashes out, she says horrible things my fam...	Rollingstones248	3	586	Jul 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do patterns ever change (Preview) Just having a hard time trying to understand why I get upset at my Ah for going out with his Sponser every night to a meeting then going out after the meeting to get ice cream or dinner or go to see cars and not coming home until 11 at night . This all brings me back to the last time he was in recovery but the only t...	Hope floats	5	773	Jul 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change reading for 7-24-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for July 24 speaks about the 11th step. This is the Step where we pray for the knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out. The reading points out that doing God's will doesn't mean that we perform heroic acts . It can simply mean we can be smelling a rose or washing the car or cleanin...	hotrod	2	2716	Jul 24, 2016 by Charlotte22
	party was a blast! (Preview) I was blessed to celebrate my 50th birthday w friend & family. My sister & bro in law drove about 900 miles just to be here for me. They surprised me. What a special visit! Some of my al anon friends helped greatly & did things for me that I had trouble doing for myself. Gifts & cards in abun...	Hoot Nanny	4	596	Jul 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Possible relapse (Preview) Not sure where to start. My adult daughter has been to rehab 4 times. She has been an alcoholic since she was a teenager. She has been sober for the past couple of years but I fear she has relapsed Again. As a single woman, she socializes with drinkers. She seems to get along okay, then all of sudden she deci...	helpless mom	5	548	Jul 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	Happy Birthday Kathleen (Preview) I hope you have a "Hoot" on your 50 th Birthday and that your party is filled with joy.	hotrod	8	700	Jul 24, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Not sure how to help brother who is 1000 miles away (Preview) My brother (62) lives in KY. He lives with his girlfriend. About 2 months ago, she texted me asking me to get him out of her house as his drinking has become too much. In my calls to him over the past year, we have spoken much about his disease. Also, his drinking has become much worse. I did start looki...	WorriedSick	11	646	Jul 24, 2016 by Maresie
	Feeling low after 20 years of alanon recovery (Preview) hi everyone, new here but not to Alanon. I attend 2 ftf meetings a week but feeling low all the same and at tonight's step meeting I couldn't even share, the only time this has happened since I walked through the doors 20 years ago. Been married 46 years and of those years my hb who No longer drinks but uses l...	Thinkngal	6	778	Jul 24, 2016 by Thinkngal
	Words are a joke and the joke's on me (Preview) Hi strangers! I have been gone a while...summer is always so busy :) Nothing has changed in my situation. AH is actively drinking daily, all day, managing to work (self-employed) and still in deep denial that his alcoholism is hurting anyone other than himself. He admits he is an alcoholic. I guess th...	Fairlee	12	760	Jul 23, 2016 by Aerin
	New and looking for support (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new this forum and was seeking some advice and support. My husband is a recovering alcoholic for 7 years. I met him when he was 3 years sober. When we met, he discussed his sobriety saying he was comfortable with being around alcohol and others drinking. I was at the time, and still am, a s...	Melenzt13	7	696	Jul 23, 2016 by Mirandac
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.