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how al anon has helped you to find healthy partner friend?
(Preview)
i have discovered in past that somehow i am attracting towards me only men who are needy and needs saving or something and not finding those normal healthy responsible men... so i am wondering how al anon might help to find healthy partner or friend... maybe some older members can share their esh.
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kadriliisa
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11
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671
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Child needing help with mother
(Preview)
Hello I've been having trouble with my mother's drinking problems since I was probably 6 or 7. I never know what to do. she's been in therapy. she has a dui . In all honesty here I am just lost. I am depressed . I don't know what to do. Can somebody please help. She lashes out, she says horrible things my fam...
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Rollingstones248
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3
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506
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Do patterns ever change
(Preview)
Just having a hard time trying to understand why I get upset at my Ah for going out with his Sponser every night to a meeting then going out after the meeting to get ice cream or dinner or go to see cars and not coming home until 11 at night . This all brings me back to the last time he was in recovery but the only t...
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Hope floats
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5
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697
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Courage to Change reading for 7-24-2016
(Preview)
C2C reading for July 24 speaks about the 11th step. This is the Step where we pray for the knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out. The reading points out that doing God's will doesn't mean that we perform heroic acts . It can simply mean we can be smelling a rose or washing the car or cleanin...
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hotrod
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2
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2282
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party was a blast!
(Preview)
I was blessed to celebrate my 50th birthday w friend & family. My sister & bro in law drove about 900 miles just to be here for me. They surprised me. What a special visit! Some of my al anon friends helped greatly & did things for me that I had trouble doing for myself. Gifts & cards in abun...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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513
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Possible relapse
(Preview)
Not sure where to start. My adult daughter has been to rehab 4 times. She has been an alcoholic since she was a teenager. She has been sober for the past couple of years but I fear she has relapsed Again. As a single woman, she socializes with drinkers. She seems to get along okay, then all of sudden she deci...
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helpless mom
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5
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478
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Happy Birthday Kathleen
(Preview)
I hope you have a "Hoot" on your 50 th Birthday and that your party is filled with joy.
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hotrod
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8
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480
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Not sure how to help brother who is 1000 miles away
(Preview)
My brother (62) lives in KY. He lives with his girlfriend. About 2 months ago, she texted me asking me to get him out of her house as his drinking has become too much. In my calls to him over the past year, we have spoken much about his disease. Also, his drinking has become much worse. I did start looki...
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WorriedSick
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11
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571
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Feeling low after 20 years of alanon recovery
(Preview)
hi everyone, new here but not to Alanon. I attend 2 ftf meetings a week but feeling low all the same and at tonight's step meeting I couldn't even share, the only time this has happened since I walked through the doors 20 years ago. Been married 46 years and of those years my hb who No longer drinks but uses l...
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Thinkngal
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6
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690
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Words are a joke and the joke's on me
(Preview)
Hi strangers! I have been gone a while...summer is always so busy :) Nothing has changed in my situation. AH is actively drinking daily, all day, managing to work (self-employed) and still in deep denial that his alcoholism is hurting anyone other than himself. He admits he is an alcoholic. I guess th...
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Fairlee
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12
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678
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New and looking for support
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm new this forum and was seeking some advice and support. My husband is a recovering alcoholic for 7 years. I met him when he was 3 years sober. When we met, he discussed his sobriety saying he was comfortable with being around alcohol and others drinking. I was at the time, and still am, a s...
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Melenzt13
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7
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615
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healthy kids after an alcoholic dad?
(Preview)
I finally left my alcoholic husband after 18 long years. What can I do now to repair the damage to my kids? My ex has been living out of state now for 4 years, and I have dated a little, but I shy away when someone gets seriousI don't want to be alone forever, but I also want to show my kids that we don't need anyo...
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Rainy
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7
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576
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Courage to Change Reading 7-23-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 23 speaks about discovering our sense of humor as we are working the Al-Anon program. It notes that when we first enter program we find it difficult to smile and could not understand the laughter at meetings. We saw life as tragic and serious. When we first learn to laugh at...
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hotrod
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2
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498
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Dumbfounded
(Preview)
Last night after a long day at work 12 hours plus I took Uber home.
I use the Uber pool option (in that I share the ride)
Sure enough since it was late there was another person sharing the ride.
I take Uber pretty often so I am used to sharing the ride. Most of the time the other person isn't an issue besid...
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Maresie
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2
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314
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Trying to remain strong
(Preview)
I have been dating a guy who I believe has an issue with alcohol. He will not admit he has a problem- other than admitting that he sometimes drinks too much. He drinks every day. I use to count and then I stopped because of how frustrated and upset it made me. I think he drinks anywhere between 4-8 drink...
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dazedandconfused
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5
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667
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Visiting son n wife
(Preview)
I'm currently at my sons and his wife's for the weekend Im grateful for all they do for me and allow me to do for them in return,we have been having such a great time they want me to spend the weekend with them so I agreed,I've been having problems with my fb messenger being down for days now,and my fb Ive acci...
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lookingup
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2
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424
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newcomer seeking support with SO
(Preview)
Hi everyone,I'm new to this and seeking support. my SO is a recovering alcoholic, he's a great friend and a fellow book nerd and he's been doing really well, going to AA/therapy and all that. He relapsed recently and he tells me it's pretty bad this ...
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littlewing88
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2
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4312
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Courage to Change (C2C) 7/22/16
(Preview)
Today's reading is all about keeping an open mind in the Al-Anon program, and forever placing principles above personalities. If you've been to an Al-Anon meeting, and stayed through the closing, you've most likely heard, "though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the s...
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Iamhere
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2
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440
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it is going to be fine
(Preview)
I am a little anxious but excited. For some reason I couldn't reply to my last post. It was frustrating but I am OK. I will post tomorrow after the party. Just want to make sure I thank the ones that posted. I will keep your supportive comments in mind. Thanks to all of you for supporting me all these years. I...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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410
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ISOLATION
(Preview)
Ive heard that alcoholics/addicts want to isolate their families. What is this about, what is the theory/idea of it? Why does it work? Linsc
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LinSC
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7
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717
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Courage to Change (C2C) 7/21/16
(Preview)
Today's reading is about Let Go and Let God! Before program, many of us thoughts others would cease to exist if we didn't help them, take care of them, lead them, etc. We often interfered in everyone's business and put our own needs to the side. We were willing to follow others around, clean up their m...
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Iamhere
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12
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621
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counting down...
(Preview)
OK so I am not in the moment projecting & making plans. I am so excited about my 50th birthday party. I hope that all this planning isn't too much for me. The party is on Saturday July 23rd. I have been planning for so long that it actually effected my sleep. I already have insomnia. But here is the kicke...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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423
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who banned my tablet ip some hours ago?
(Preview)
somehow after standing for myself and explaining myself to one of those moderators here why removing my posts from qouting older topics and forcing to start new topic of it, i discovered that my ip of my tablet is banned and i could not read this forum from my tablet....seriously does message of Al-An...
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kadriliisa
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12
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709
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HELP! AH actively drinking & don't know how to detach.
(Preview)
So my AH is back to actively drinking. I've been going to F2F Al-Anon meetings weekly for the last 7 months. My AH has been attending AA on and off since January as well. He went about 3 months without drinking and then there'd be a slip here and there. The slips are happening more frequently in the past few...
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SDB
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13
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5981
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Alcoholic Father Help Me
(Preview)
I am a 18 year old kid feeling so many emotions. I have grown up in middle class suburban household with both my parents and a sibling a few years older than me. My "father" (I don't consider him my dad anymore, I will refer to him as Jason) is an alcoholic. My mom works part time and is a stay at home mom. Jason...
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thedot1
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9
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1558
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Transitioning alone
(Preview)
I am "thinking" of moving to west coast of florida. Getting a trailer in a 55 + park. My life here is starting to unfold and i see an opening up ahead. I plan on keep working but i would like to travel and rv it. I will be 60 this year. I like it out west a lot Too. My mother still looms over my head, thats a great...
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Mirandac
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18
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762
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Losing "couple" friends
(Preview)
I am very sad to see that over time it has become more and more difficult to get together with friends and family that we have hung with as couples or groups. My AH with enough alcohol becomes sarcastic and insulting especially to the women. In my confronting days I would frequently tell him that he just...
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El
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14
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915
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ACoA sourcebook
(Preview)
I am currently reading the complete ACOA source book by Woititz. I have ended up reading it not only wiht a pen in my hand, but a highlighter.... wow... I have notes and highlights and I have devoured half it in a week!!!!! Has this woman been following me around??? The chapter on the Myths is just ammaa...
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Lindaoakford
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7
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703
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Posting into older topics?
(Preview)
Quite new here- but not new to al anon or acoa - and got into quoting answering into older topics what interested me and maybe possibly someone else in future and one moderstor deleted them....which is very rude ....in order to wasting MY time in future where are the rules to posting into older topic...
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kadriliisa
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2
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478
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9 Months Pregnant and Facing the Lowest Time
(Preview)
Hi, This is my first post to any addiction forum, but I would love some insight and perspective from others who are going through similar situations or have already been through these tough times. My husband is currently in rehab for his Oxycontin/Heroin addiction, and is 6 weeks in. This is his first...
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graceforlove
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12
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705
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Surprise gifts and stuff.
(Preview)
So last weekend sir drinksalot took us out for our birthday and he was really pretty awesome. He kept himself nice, didn't drink a lot all weekend, and then went home with the obvious intent of getting hammered, which is not my business as long as he isn't doing it at my house. It was kind of a big deal as in 1...
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missmeliss
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18
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966
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Courage to change 20/7
(Preview)
Today's C2C speaks of joy, and how difficult it is for many of us to enjoy when it makes it's infrequent appearances in our lives. Many of us are desperate to cling on to happy moments when they come around- afraid they will be snatched away- and start obsessing over ways to 'freeze time" or make it a repea...
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missmeliss
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2
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488
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Rough Night
(Preview)
So last night my husband came home angrier than ever. He would speak to noone and left after taking a shower. While he was gone a friend of ours stopped by and shared a secret he has been keeping since June. My husband cheated on me during a school trip with my son. I was instantly hurt and mad. I knew the mom a...
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Getbacktome19
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2
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384
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the ins & outs
(Preview)
Just want to say that marriage is a roller coaster ride. Just for today I am finding the reconciliation process has been slow in coming.
We have to work on ourselves & each other. Went to the ER on Saturday over very sensitive issues. I am recovering from that & stress caused by my lack of sleep....
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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409
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a family of addicts and a mother that enables
(Preview)
Our relationship is up and down and all around. When it is good it is everything i have ever wanted....but when it is not....well it is pure hell. Not only am i dealing with an alcoholic who i try to keep in a calm state of mind so he only drinks moderately for the day but i am up against his hateful crazy fa...
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lisad67
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7
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639
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Telling the children??
(Preview)
Any advice on how to tell my 10 and 7 year olds their dad is an alcoholic? We separated almost a year ago and he has been in a downward spiral ever since. He is now in a hospital after attempted suicide. They don't know anything and don't ask much about him as he wasn't able to stay sober to make the visits. I al...
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frogswim
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2
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412
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Detaching
(Preview)
Long story short, I have been in recovery from alcohol for 9 years and also an adult child of an alcoholic. Recently, I met a member of Aa who went on to become a dear friend, someone I learned to trust which has been huge for me. Our friendship took a romantic path shortly after I discovered some repressed...
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Startanew86
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7
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447
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Setting boundaries what is acceptable and what is not?
(Preview)
I find myself coming back..
Thank you again to all of you that offered service to me recently..
Following a day of quiet with my children yesterday I resolved my day by thinking about how I can change the things that are pressing at the moment. What is it that is causing me most frustration and why.. He...
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Anastasia
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9
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581
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... Whether to walk away or try harder.
(Preview)
"One of the hardest decision you'll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder."
I feel the need to share my story with somebody who understands. I will try to make it as short as possible. Even though I am sure each of our stories could make a novel, if not a trilogy. I would appreci...
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Tivi123
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30
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3332
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Hope for Today 7/19
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the expectation we have that other people (or one other person) will be able to meet all of our needs-- without us even having to ask! It reminds me of the argument we have seen played out in sitcoms over the years: a couple is arguing and one (usually the ma...
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yanksfan51
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2
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452
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I am worried my husband is texting with AA women in his group at rehab
(Preview)
I have been married for 37 years, and my husband is addicted to anything and everything. Alcohol, cigarettes, porn, internet, sex chatting and who knows what else. He has been in rehab for 8 weeks ... and I don't know what is going on. He came home for the weekend and I noticed on his phone that he was texti...
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Frannie
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10
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2885
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New to Recovery
(Preview)
My AH is just starting down the road to recovery, and so am I. I know there are a lot of things that I need to focus on within myself as I am a broken version of what I once was. I am a work in progress. I am working on detaching from my husband as I know that this disease is his problem and I cant fix it for him, bu...
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Getbacktome19
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6
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498
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Serenity
(Preview)
To be serene is to be calm and untroubled. Please send me some of that :) wp
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wp
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3
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435
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why am i so honest lol ?
(Preview)
hey there alanon pals, i just talked myself out of $100 for a market research survey by being truthful and telling them i worked in m.r. 20 yrs ago.....striving to be honest all my life doesnt always pay off lol...could have used $100..well all of us could a
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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390
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Had to Share
(Preview)
I started Al-anon a few weeks ago. I want to share a wonderful moment from yesterday and hope that others will find inspiration too. I have been struggling with Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. How will I know when I truly surrendered a...
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Kcsnooze
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3
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371
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Courage to Change reading 7-18-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 18 speaks about our feelings and life prior to arriving at the doors of Al-Anon. It is then that many may have believed that if something works, it will work even better and faster, if we try harder. Al-Anon involves a long-term process of growth and change and our efforts...
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hotrod
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1
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604
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Husband relapsed after 8 years of sobriety
(Preview)
My husband relapsed after almost 8 years of sobriety. He picked up again 18 months ago. We moved home and country 4 years ago (escaped to the country - a joint dream for our family). He took up work as a long distance lorry driver, away from home all week, living alone in his cab. While I kept the self suffic...
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Anastasia
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10
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559
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ODAT 7-16 Labeling the Behavior of Others
(Preview)
Great page today that calls on me to remember what AlAnon is for: focus on myself. A tendency to label the behavior of someone with the disease as immature, inconsiderate, etc. may be accurate from a behavioral standpoint, but does not help, and actually harms, both of us. Labeling others admittedl...
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Enigmatic
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4
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460
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How did you go about selecting a sponsor?
(Preview)
I attend a couple of different local Al-anon meetings. Each one is very different in format and group culture. But it seems like a lot of the people know one another really well. I keep hearing that getting a sponsor is important as you work through your steps. But I am a bit unsure of how to go about choos...
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Kcsnooze
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4
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371
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Question about opiate addiction
(Preview)
can anyone enlighten me on the success of buprenorphine treatment to help get off opiates. And do theses treatment centers usually incorporate 12 step work? Please help so I can be more informed.
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Sallygcoe
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2
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286
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Recovery\sobriety\Hope
(Preview)
I thought I would post an update as have not posted for quite a while. It has been about 8 months since AD entered into a program of recovery. She is doing very well. Seems to have really embraced the 12 step program. She attends meetings, has a sponsor, has returned to school and generally is carving...
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serenity47
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3
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355
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I really need to vent
(Preview)
I have lost all serenity right now and I know my life is out of control. Luckily with my spouse admitting the addiction, I have people coming out of the woodwork to help me. I just desperately need time to get back to a f2f mtg. My AS has been in and out of the hospital. Although Ive completely detached with l...
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gabigail
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7
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477
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Courage to Change reading 7-17-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about being enmeshed with other people's activities and behavior. When we do this, we lose sight of the idea that we could be happy even if others are depressed or unhappy. When we finally realize that we will have to learn to make it even if the alcoholic does not, th...
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hotrod
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2
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472
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Am I doing this wrong?
(Preview)
this is my first time here and I've only been to one alanon meeting so please forgive if this isn't appropriate. I don't have a support system since I've separated myself from family and friends because of shame over my husbands drinking. Ive been married 20 years to an addict. Pills, drugs, now alcoho...
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Tinyhouse
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9
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525
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Feeling very lonely tonight need to get it out
(Preview)
This evening my AH had more than one too many and was behaving erratically and I guess the best way to describe it was he was acting out. This has happened once every year or so he drinks way more than his usual too much and acts in very bizarre ways and it's almost as if he is completely gone. It's like the...
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KT2015
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14
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555
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I don't wanna play.
(Preview)
My husband has been sober for 4 months and he has done it all on his own. He was actively drinking for over 25 years! Aside from going through basic training, he would consume between 18-24 beers daily. So, now he is sober and I don't even know who he is! We have been married for 25 years. I have always known h...
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GoingNuts
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14
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509
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Worrying issue
(Preview)
My son and I are staying at a summer house we have. Last year we had a group of guests stay for a week and one of them brought a bottle of bourbon. I guess somebody had some, though I didn't keep track, because it was missing about two inches after they all left. I hardly drink at all and never drink bourbon,...
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Mattie
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10
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780
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Courage to Change Reading 7-16-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 16 talks about learning how to relax while using the Al-Anon program. It goes on to suggests that, before program our lives were spent in the frenzy of activity such as : work projects and family obligations. These all helped us to focus outward and in that way we didn't hav...
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hotrod
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2
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310
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Gratitude and me
(Preview)
Today I need to remember that gratitude is one of our best tools. When feelings and personalities and illnesses seem too much, when I stop and get quiet and reflect on all that I can be grateful for, life is better and I can breathe. At least for now. TY alanon. wp
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wp
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2
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329
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Update on Me
(Preview)
Almost 7 months on my own out here in the big world.Things have been interesting away from the marriage of 25 yrs. I filed for divorce and it should be final in dec. XAH is out of rehab and I just recently spoke to him. I dont know if he is sober but he cries alot on the phone. I detach and try to stick to taking c...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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414
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