The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about Let Go and Let God! Before program, many of us thoughts others would cease to exist if we didn't help them, take care of them, lead them, etc. We often interfered in everyone's business and put our own needs to the side. We were willing to follow others around, clean up their messes and offer advice in an effort to improve their lives!
When we came to Al-Anon, we learned we had other options. We could Let Go and Let God. We are taught and practice the theory of a natural order to life. There is a master plan from a Higher Power, and our efforts interrupt that flow when we try to fix or change others. When we let go of a situation, we allow life to unfold as it should. When we open our minds and let other ways of thinking or acting enter, we are allowing others to do the same. Everyone has the right to live their life as they desire, as well as the resulting outcomes.
A HP exists for us AND all others. Our obsessive interference disrupts not only my connection with them, but also my connection with HP and my spiritual self.
Today's reminder --- "I am my top priority. By keeping the focus on myself, I let go of other people's problems and can better cope with my own. What can I do for myself today?"
Today's quote --- "I will remind myself . . . that I am powerless over anyone else, that I can live no life but my own. Changing myself for the better is the only way I can find peace and serenity." -- from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
I know in my home, I had created an illusion that I was 'in charge'. Well - that did not work out too well because others had their own plans, lives, thoughts and values! Needless to say, they rebelled against the power position and the disease was ripe for the picking. The more I tried to change others to conform to my reality, the worse it got.
When I came to Al-Anon with an open mind, and listened to how others had found peace and joy by practicing the program, I wanted that. I was told to keep my focus on me, and to let others do the same. It was very hard but practicing this one day at a time, made it appear possible. I continued to practice each day, and it got easier.
I know that there is a plan which doesn't include me being in charge of anything but me. I believe that God has the ability to lead us all where we need to go. Today, I am headed to the golf course and spending time with my sponsor! Have a super day everyone - Let Go and Let God!!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
How important is this reminder!!!! I know that prior to program I too felt it was a loving and kind act to give people my "unsolicited advise", help them solve their problems (even if they did no ask) and over all ,in general, interfere in their lives. This kept me very busy and unable to focus on myself Naturally I felt if I spent all my time caring for others it was their job to take care of me.
Not true!! Alanon changed that attitude and taught me to keep the focus on myself, love myself, solve my own problems and then I could reach out and support others in a constructive loving manner.
Have a great time today IAM and thanks for your service.
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 12:53:05 PM
Love this lesson. Learning that not only can people manage just fine on their own, but that I am actually stopping them from doing that by interfering was a eye opener!! Realsing how much I despise being "managed" by others and yet seeing how I dit it to other people was very confronting. I too am much happier since I resigned as 'manager of the universe". Happy golfing IAM -)
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 12:53:23 PM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
My golf game needs improvement. This is a constructive way of saying, if I were NOT playing golf with my sponsor, I would walk away from the baffling, freaking, nut-inducing game....I curse more on the golf course than at many other things......and I am not proud of that at all!!
It's hotter than blazes here in the midwest - it was 98 when I got into my car to come home. (((Hugs))) all - stay safe and thanks for the well wishes!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Oh Betty - you have more faith in me than I do at this point! My sponsor says I am improving - just not at the pace I WANT to!!!
Thanks for the support - learning new skills for me is not often so difficult but I do like a challenge...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Mirandac - she does giggle each time I curse....it's kind of funny and I did tell her that if it weren't for her, I'd have thrown my clubs into the lake and left a few weeks ago - never to return!!!!
I'll keep at it for a while....what else am I going to do - right? (Read a book, take a nap, go shopping, pray, meditate...lolol)
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I don't golf- no hand eye coordination over here. But if I had to in the name of al-anon, I think I'd write all of my worries and woes on golf balls and belt them to kingdom come.
(Or more likely throw a Happy Gilmore style tantrum when I fail to hit them after multiple swings, lol).
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
MissMel - that's a great idea!!! Writing my worries on the balls and driving them - super cool......of course, I might have to let my sponsor or husband drive them - they can hit the small ball wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy further than I!!! Ha.ha.ha.ha.
Mirandac - I hear you....I hit a ball that went perfectly sideways one day. From then on, I try to make sure nobody is close to me in all directions - yet another point of anxiety I have!!
Mini golf is certainly a better fit for me and my skills at this time, but I keep on trying...
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I like softball i use to play in my 20's. I Could hit and run,
Throwng and catching wasnt my strong points. Sports are
Fun i have tried so many in my younger years now i don't.
I need to get into shape again, that i do need to do sports
Or no sports. HUGS
Start small and you'll be amazed at how much more energy you have.....even just walking each day or something similar - works wonders mentally and physically!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
i know that with Practice,you will become a star,