The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
reading JSHOLL,s post got me thinking about my own new relationship. When I was with the XAH the last 2 yrs id learn how to use Alanon to deal with fights and anger. It came to me that it was like my X was setting a fire in a way and i used to make it bigger by adding more fuel[ my reactions,bad language,threats etc] So when i stopped doing that, the fire would just kinda peter out. Id try to remove myself and detach with some music, a book, journal etc or try to go for a walk or got out for a coffee.
However, ive noticed that with my new guy[we have been together over 7mths] we dont really argue.. one of us might get irritable but nothing really erupts. Is this a good thing ? Are we still in the honeymoon phase of being together or am i lucky and found someone i can work things out with ??????
Alyce I think it is a good thing You have been practicing your program for a few years and your tools are part of how you interact in the relationship. No doubt you have let go of many former illusions and the desire to control so that your program is showing.
What popped in my brain Alyce is "More will be Revealed"......we know not what the future brings, but when we stay in the present, life is typically pretty darn sweet!!
Keep doing what your doing - trust your HP - it is what it is supposed to be!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
