Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

I'm coming to realize what 'codependent' truly means, and it resonates so much. I don't suffer with alcohol addiction, like so many of my family and friends (how crazy it all links together!)... But I have an addiction of my own. My mother and I both have always said that we're codependent on one anoth...

Nikkosity · Nikkosity

Hello Everyone, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He takes such good care of me; leaves me sweet notes, supports me with any issues, makes me dinner, and always makes sure I know that I am loved. He wakes up at 5 am everyday, eats a healthy breakfast, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and an hour and a half...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Some say that our clutter desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Others will say that a clean desk is a sign of sick mind. So which is it? What does my clutter say about my serenity? Perhaps, nothing at all...Todays reading in C2C reminds us that we all do things differently, but what is more important are the r...

a4l · a4l

I am a flake. I don't know when this happened exactly, maybe it doesn't matter, but I dislike it. A very dear friend who I haven't seen for seven years...who wrote me a song when I left our country, well she's having major brain surgery tomorrow morning and her daughter, who grew up with my first sons, is i...

andromeda · andromeda

Hello friends. I am just tired this week. Working extra hours as I've been home alone for the week as my son is traveling and the bf took his kids on a summer trip, as well. I am feeling overwhelmed with worry and fear about my financial situation. I have too much debt from credit cards and a car loan tha...

NteacherJ · NteacherJ

Hi, My girlfriend lives out of state. Well, we actually broke up yesterday and she is apparently drinking all day today. I have been in touch with her friend who has been in touch with her and she told her friend that she has been drinking and can't stop. Her friend was around when she had her first maj...

Rinn · Rinn

I haven't had contact with my alcoholic dad in 6 years or his family. I didn't meet them until I was in my 20's, then flew across the country to meet my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins several times. I really miss my family. But my dad being the alcoholic, and me with a overworked defense mechani...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Yes, so I am living with two difficult persons. My Al-anon tools has really helped a lot, and the posts I read in this Group. Just a pouring of my heart: I do my best to detach, use the slogans but I guess I just have to live with the sad and lonely feeling. (((Hugs)) to everyone on this journey!

Greenvalleygal · Greenvalleygal

I think I have finally realized that I can no longer deal with my son who lives in our apartment next to our house. He is suppose to pay rent and utilities but has not held a job for more than a week or two in the last six months. I have allowed him to just give me the money for his utilities for the past two mont...

joker · joker

I still have not gone home to the alcoholic. I am staying with my sister and I have talked to the alcoholic and he was somewhat normal yesterday, sick as can be, from a hangover. I just talked briefly with him and hung up. This morning I called him and he was sick as can be. I told him he needs help and I can not d...

winnie1 · winnie1

Please excuse me. I am testing to see if I am registered correctly. Thank you, Winnie1

Overcome · Overcome

RobinKS, long time member here on the message board and in the chat room, lost her husband last Saturday in a boating accident.. I would like to ask for prayer for her and her family, at her request. Anyone that would like to send cards or such can pm me and I can give you an address for her.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about concept five, -'assuring that the voices of the minority be heard'. The writer goes on to say that the concept had particular importance since he/she suffered with low self esteem and general unworthiness at the hands of the disease. I think that for...

joker · joker

Its been awhile since I posted. I have been doing a lot of detachment from active alcoholic. I went on a holiday with him (wrong idea), for 3 weeks to go home to his hometown, 5 days drive away, across the country. It was hell. I managed to get away from him when it became unbearable. I even slept in my car one...

NSBlue · NSBlue

Hi My name is Melanie, I am a grateful member of Truro Al-Anon Family Group in Nova Scotia. I have been a member since April 5th of this year. I was thrilled when I seen this on-line message board; another recovery tool to work my program. I am blessed to have my local Al-Anon fellowship and now an on-line...

Jerry F · Jerry F

about your ESH because this is a cunning powerful and baffling disease and it will take most every opportunity to prove that too you. I got triggered...big time. It hurt and it got me again. I went to a meeting last evening with a sponsee and it was a speaker meeting though the speaker didn't show up....

jocelgp · jocelgp

hi everyone, it's been a while. Though I've not been posting, I still go and read posts from here. My husband has not been drinking, at least for a while (was that because I told him he could could seek help because I believe he has drinking problem and that he wants to prove that he's not), he denies he'...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All, It as been a few months since my last post. I am still extremely physically ill - with no answers. I spend my days in bed, unless I am going from doctor to doctor, holistic practitioner to holistic practitioner. Emotionally, I did a good job of staying away (absolutely no contact) from ex-A fian...

emptysky · emptysky

Hi I'm new here and having a really difficult day. To sum it up I am the daughter of an alcoholic mother and the wife of a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for eight years. I have a major panic disorder, depression, PTSD and I am a grateful breast cancer survivor. I have been miserable and unhap...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone: There may be a few of you here that remember me, but I've seen quite a lot of new names and faces. I am a recovering co-dependent who was in a relationship with an A for several years, up until about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The A's father passed away after a sudden illness 3 weeks ago, and the family w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about Steps 10, 11,12. The reading points out that many consider those maintenance Steps, but we don't want to maintain where we are when we complete step nine. This is no time to stagnate., Instead we should really consider these Step growth Steps. No matter how o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I just need some prayers .. LOL .. it is so good I have moved so far away. It is now apparent that the XAH's wife is into playing games as he is which is fine .. it's like these people don't get I'm not going away. The kids go back to school on the 22nd .. we have a lot to accomplish between now and then .. kids nee...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Good Morning. I back in program again after 10 years! UG!! I needed it. My father is now 85 and dying of liver disease (lifetime alcoholic) and I 'thought" that we had reached a peaceful place of forgiveness a few years back but in the recent year he has become abusive to me again. He lives in New york...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP Friends, i was wondering if anyone would be willing to share some esh on the first two to three years with a RAH. Mine is at the16 month mark this week and we are getting along wonderfully, however, I do find that we still have serious intimacy issues, Many are related to the medical issue he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know if I should be impressed with myself or scared as all get out. I have a very active schedule at the moment and the magic word seems to be no .. not no thank you .. just NO. LOL! The whole dating thing has been entertaining is putting it mildly .. I'm coming to a point where I feel like I need to take...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Pinkchip's perspective on boundaries in another post was helpful to me. Makes sense that what we tolerate shows what our true boundaries are and also that what other people do or allow to happen is evidence of their boundaries. My boundary has been to leave the room when my A falls asleep after too ma...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

Hi, newbie here, been going to Alanon for three short months, long enough for the program to have changed my life, but not long enough for me to understand the difference between my defects and insanity and the reality. My parter is a sober member of AA, dry drunk for most of our relationship, controll...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about step 6 and how daunting the prospect of change can be. Many of us find ourselves reluctant to let go of any more of ourselves for fear of "what will be left?" Yet if we consider how far we have come since beginning our journey, we can see how much willingness to change we alreay have....

gabigail · gabigail

I am so lost, confused, guilty, and other emotions I can't describe right now. As many of you know my spouse and I took a "break" this last week and I have been on a meeting marathon working on myself. I had been overwhelmed with the caregiving aspect and not taking care of me. So, now my spouse ended up in th...

lookingup · lookingup

Trying to move forward after all the drama and chaos of dealing with my addict sister isn't as easy as I thought it should be,feeling sad and greiveing the loss of a what use to be tons of years ago a very close sister,as painful as it may be I've got to pick myself up and forget the past so that I can move on......

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today discusses resentments and how poisonous they are to our recovery. Before Al-Anon, many of us spent most of our waking hours poisoned by or obsessing over our resentments. We could hold on to them and keep them burning for day, for years or longer. Many of us nu...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

Hi everyone, I am so thankful for Alanon and have just recently discovered this program. I have moved from Melbourne to the country for work purposes and gone from one meeting a day ( two sometimes) to not having any meetings for weeks now! I kind of knew how much I had come to depend on meetings but now I R...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about the times that we feel as if we are unable to take an action or face the challenges that are within our lives. Even when our position is hopeless and HP is beckoning us to take the risk, we hesitate, hoping for a miracle so that we do not have to act. . We forget th...

cc1960 · cc1960

Hi All, I apologize for jumping right in with a question that would probably be answered if I had started the steps or established a sponsor. I'm in a relationship with an addict. He is highly functioning, very intelligent, and a successful business owner. He recently admitted himself into a rehab p...

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

I need some support you guys! I actually posted a long and heartfelt message last night, but it didn't post! Here's take 2.... My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We've been together only for about two months, but he sincerely is one of my best friends and I love him. We went through some difficult stuf...

Serenity75 · Serenity75

I have asked my AH not to talk to me when he is drinking. But I can't get away from him. He follows me around relentlessly. If I leave he calls and texts to no end. It is soooo emotionally draining. I try not to react. I pray to be able to hold on to myself. To maintain a level of respect for him. But sometimes h...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

Talked with my husband's uncle yesterday - he said to call anytime to vent or ask questions. I had a really rough day at work yesterday and was looking forward to the treat of getting my hair cut. When I left the salon AH sent a text - 'kids are awesome, please bring home ginger ale and beer.' I called him...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Good morning all Wanting to share my gratitude for our program. I have had a rather long issue with a company that owes me some money. I admit to being rude and sarcastic when dealing with them by phone and email over it quite a few times. I got a mail from them last night that today i need to respond to. With m...

Crau · Crau

After 6 months of watching my exAbf go to treatment, relapse, be sober, relapse again and now having 3 months of sobriety under his belt, we finally are having open conversations about his disease. He will say "it's my disease talking". Maybe it's an excuse maybe it's an explaination but whatever it i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to laugh during the crazy meeting I had with my x and the attorney's, it was brought up that X provided 1 paystub in which I asked my attorney later if that was ok or not. LOL! Of course you are not going to process child support off of 1 paystub. My attorney contacted me back and said she would work on...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I've been processing several things this week and have wanted to write but just was stuck. Stuck in sadness, stuck in uncertainty and perhaps fear. At times, each of these has been worse/stronger than the other but these and possible more feelings have been present. One of my dearest friends who is...

Groo · Groo

So AH started at 8AM, I get home at 6PM and ignore the fact that he has been drunk all day. I was pleasant and we had a fairly decent conversation up until I slipped. I sort of joked about something that was a sensitive subject for him and all hell broke loose. I tried to apologize and leave the room, but he...

gabigail · gabigail

hi everyone- Its a possibility that my A will be coming back home today. I've been very anxious about it, because I've had this freedom the last few days where I'm not constantly being questioned about my coming and my going, asked to do everything for my recovering A and being able to breathe and do stuf...

el-cee · el-cee

This leaflet is from the other side of the family and one of the views is from an alcoholic. Powerful letter, thought Id share. Open Letter from the Alcoholic I am an alcoholic. I need your help.Don't lecture, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry with me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a...

lookingup · lookingup

As most of you know I've been trying to get my sister out of my home,well it finally happened she left on her own after I called the police she scrammed ,saved me 70 dollars for eviction notice,now I'm got my home back no addicts what so ever living here,it seemed so very strange and awkward all the silence...

ataloss · ataloss

I'm really struggling. Been separated for 3 years. My husband left me for a younger woman who he works with. I know he doesn't deserve me and that I deserve better. He is an alcoholic who is about 90 days sober. I acted like a nut for too long after I found out he was cheating. I was totally blindsided, scare...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I feel like I am drowning right now. Between pressures at work, guilt feelings for not enough time spent with extended family and dealing with the insanity of active alcoholism in my home, I am ready to run for the hills and hide out. I have a friend who is on holiday in Europe and told me I could stay at th...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I got the job .. I'm so happy. I have been working at a non profit company since March of this year after the whole Justin ordeal and it has been a sheer blessing we well as joy. I get to help families who are in worse off situations than I have been in and it truly feels good to be a part of something bigger tha...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Difficult time this morning, AH got it into his head that he wanted me to buy him a car. Just like that. He thought this reasonable and that he is entitled to it. He knows I will NEVER be driven by him. He wanted a car for his amusement. To put it into context, we got rid of his previous car years ago as he is too i...

Kcsnooze · Kcsnooze

My AH has one day left of outpatient therapy and he has relapsed. He called me a couple times today, slurring his words, needing me for mundane things. He has fallen twice since I have gotten home from work. I am working so hard to detach, let him be and focus on me. I go to two F2F meetings a week. I read the li...

123456abcdef · 123456abcdef

My alcoholic has been struggling since December with recovery, in and out of rehabs and always relapsing. Whether it is him just doing the programs to make others happy and to say look I graduated or what. I don't really know what he is thinking, if he truely wants to recover and break-up with alcohol (a...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

it all started because i ordered some bras ...lol. They were delivered to my old house where xah lives. So i had to call him and call to send them to me...which opened a line of communication that has virtually been sealed for 9 mths . Now, he has lots of questions about the house, his doctor,bills etc that...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I just realized my plans tomorrow are a bit earlier than I planned for, so am posting the daily for tomorrow tonight. The reading tomorrow discusses how we change, grow and expand in recovery. We are able to learn from criticism from others, and we can remain open to hearing what others have to say. We...

Groo · Groo

I arrived 15 min early and no one was there. I went around the block a few times thinking it was a sign that this just wasn't meant to be when finally I saw two cars in the lot. Told myself that I should do one thing today that terrifies me, parked the car and went in. Apparently the look on my face said it all...

savingmyself · savingmyself

Hello All, I'm new here and looking for support and knowledge of alcoholism. -savingmyself

Littlesister7 · Littlesister7

Hi, I am in an a great relationship with man dedicated to his recovery. We have been together for two years. He has been sober for 5 years after a relapse that destroyed his marriage, his career and a somewhat fancy lifestyle. As our relationship progressed he has become more and more open with me about h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 3 speaks about the tool of" denial" that many of us use, in order to cope with the disease. We try to say that alcoholism does not exist in our family. that we are normal and everything is fine. We use "minimizing "on huge issues and deny our feelings. and reality. Today, aft...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

It has been awhile since I have been on Al-anon. Revisiting my past it seems, which is still so much a part of me. Just wanted to give an update I guess and hear from you all. I have been doing well and after leaving my ex boyfriend who drank in November, I am healing back to my old self and met someone new afte...

Wendy8 · Wendy8

My son is 24. He is an alcoholic. Lives at home. Court ordered to complete evaluation and counseling he hasn't started counseling yet. Tonight I looked in his room and found a full bottle of vodka. He is drinking. He is furious I looked in his room. But it's our house and our boundary was no drinking here....

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been so caught up for the last week so focused on my AH's drinking. It came up somehow. I can't remember the circumstances but I saw that he didn't believe me about the accuracy of how much he drinks. Since that day I have been so caught up in focusing on it myself. I told him how much I estimate that...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ooohhhh.... So that's what it's called (Preview) I'm coming to realize what 'codependent' truly means, and it resonates so much. I don't suffer with alcohol addiction, like so many of my family and friends (how crazy it all links together!)... But I have an addiction of my own. My mother and I both have always said that we're codependent on one anoth...	OptimisticPi	3	618	Aug 11, 2016 by gabigail
	1st time; my boyfriend is trying to quit drinking (Preview) Hello Everyone, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He takes such good care of me; leaves me sweet notes, supports me with any issues, makes me dinner, and always makes sure I know that I am loved. He wakes up at 5 am everyday, eats a healthy breakfast, goes to the gym for an hour before work, and an hour and a half...	Nikkosity	7	590	Aug 11, 2016 by OptimisticPi
	C2C 8/10 What Does Our Clutter Say About Us? (Preview) Some say that our clutter desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. Others will say that a clean desk is a sign of sick mind. So which is it? What does my clutter say about my serenity? Perhaps, nothing at all...Todays reading in C2C reminds us that we all do things differently, but what is more important are the r...	Enigmatic	8	494	Aug 10, 2016 by Enigmatic
	bad friend. (Preview) I am a flake. I don't know when this happened exactly, maybe it doesn't matter, but I dislike it. A very dear friend who I haven't seen for seven years...who wrote me a song when I left our country, well she's having major brain surgery tomorrow morning and her daughter, who grew up with my first sons, is i...	a4l	5	419	Aug 10, 2016 by el-cee
	Overwhelmed, overworked, and just plain tired (Preview) Hello friends. I am just tired this week. Working extra hours as I've been home alone for the week as my son is traveling and the bf took his kids on a summer trip, as well. I am feeling overwhelmed with worry and fear about my financial situation. I have too much debt from credit cards and a car loan tha...	andromeda	25	1146	Aug 10, 2016 by andromeda
	emergency question (Preview) Hi, My girlfriend lives out of state. Well, we actually broke up yesterday and she is apparently drinking all day today. I have been in touch with her friend who has been in touch with her and she told her friend that she has been drinking and can't stop. Her friend was around when she had her first maj...	NteacherJ	6	581	Aug 10, 2016 by Jen61
	Hit me with some ALANON magic... (Preview) I haven't had contact with my alcoholic dad in 6 years or his family. I didn't meet them until I was in my 20's, then flew across the country to meet my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins several times. I really miss my family. But my dad being the alcoholic, and me with a overworked defense mechani...	Rinn	8	859	Aug 9, 2016 by Jen61
	living with AH and a controlling mom (Preview) Yes, so I am living with two difficult persons. My Al-anon tools has really helped a lot, and the posts I read in this Group. Just a pouring of my heart: I do my best to detach, use the slogans but I guess I just have to live with the sad and lonely feeling. (((Hugs)) to everyone on this journey!	jocelgp	2	464	Aug 9, 2016 by jocelgp
	Verbally abusive Adult A son (Preview) I think I have finally realized that I can no longer deal with my son who lives in our apartment next to our house. He is suppose to pay rent and utilities but has not held a job for more than a week or two in the last six months. I have allowed him to just give me the money for his utilities for the past two mont...	Greenvalleygal	10	3206	Aug 9, 2016 by hotrod
	I did it (Preview) I still have not gone home to the alcoholic. I am staying with my sister and I have talked to the alcoholic and he was somewhat normal yesterday, sick as can be, from a hangover. I just talked briefly with him and hung up. This morning I called him and he was sick as can be. I told him he needs help and I can not d...	joker	5	539	Aug 9, 2016 by Mattie
	test (Preview) Please excuse me. I am testing to see if I am registered correctly. Thank you, Winnie1	winnie1	4	579	Aug 9, 2016 by milkwood
	Prayers for RobinKS (Preview) RobinKS, long time member here on the message board and in the chat room, lost her husband last Saturday in a boating accident.. I would like to ask for prayer for her and her family, at her request. Anyone that would like to send cards or such can pm me and I can give you an address for her.	Overcome	17	755	Aug 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about concept five, -'assuring that the voices of the minority be heard'. The writer goes on to say that the concept had particular importance since he/she suffered with low self esteem and general unworthiness at the hands of the disease. I think that for...	yanksfan51	2	518	Aug 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	a getting worse (Preview) Its been awhile since I posted. I have been doing a lot of detachment from active alcoholic. I went on a holiday with him (wrong idea), for 3 weeks to go home to his hometown, 5 days drive away, across the country. It was hell. I managed to get away from him when it became unbearable. I even slept in my car one...	joker	8	608	Aug 9, 2016 by Thinkngal
	Hello, My name is Melanie (Preview) Hi My name is Melanie, I am a grateful member of Truro Al-Anon Family Group in Nova Scotia. I have been a member since April 5th of this year. I was thrilled when I seen this on-line message board; another recovery tool to work my program. I am blessed to have my local Al-Anon fellowship and now an on-line...	NSBlue	12	2972	Aug 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Be careful what and how you share (Preview) about your ESH because this is a cunning powerful and baffling disease and it will take most every opportunity to prove that too you. I got triggered...big time. It hurt and it got me again. I went to a meeting last evening with a sponsee and it was a speaker meeting though the speaker didn't show up....	Jerry F	8	742	Aug 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	detached, still denying, couldn't love, lonely (Preview) hi everyone, it's been a while. Though I've not been posting, I still go and read posts from here. My husband has not been drinking, at least for a while (was that because I told him he could could seek help because I believe he has drinking problem and that he wants to prove that he's not), he denies he'...	jocelgp	6	602	Aug 8, 2016 by Bethany66
	Trying Not to Give Up (Preview) Hi All, It as been a few months since my last post. I am still extremely physically ill - with no answers. I spend my days in bed, unless I am going from doctor to doctor, holistic practitioner to holistic practitioner. Emotionally, I did a good job of staying away (absolutely no contact) from ex-A fian...	Jaclyn	35	1492	Aug 8, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Miserable (Preview) Hi I'm new here and having a really difficult day. To sum it up I am the daughter of an alcoholic mother and the wife of a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for eight years. I have a major panic disorder, depression, PTSD and I am a grateful breast cancer survivor. I have been miserable and unhap...	emptysky	12	605	Aug 8, 2016 by Mirandac
	A bitter emptiness (Preview) Hello everyone: There may be a few of you here that remember me, but I've seen quite a lot of new names and faces. I am a recovering co-dependent who was in a relationship with an A for several years, up until about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The A's father passed away after a sudden illness 3 weeks ago, and the family w...	Raven Juniper	10	683	Aug 8, 2016 by Jen61
	Courage to Change 8-7-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about Steps 10, 11,12. The reading points out that many consider those maintenance Steps, but we don't want to maintain where we are when we complete step nine. This is no time to stagnate., Instead we should really consider these Step growth Steps. No matter how o...	hotrod	3	527	Aug 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying to keep my sense of humor at the moment (Preview) I just need some prayers .. LOL .. it is so good I have moved so far away. It is now apparent that the XAH's wife is into playing games as he is which is fine .. it's like these people don't get I'm not going away. The kids go back to school on the 22nd .. we have a lot to accomplish between now and then .. kids nee...	SerenityRUS	4	407	Aug 7, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Confused about Self Protection from Rageful Alcoholic Father and How to Forgive From a Distance? (Preview) Good Morning. I back in program again after 10 years! UG!! I needed it. My father is now 85 and dying of liver disease (lifetime alcoholic) and I 'thought" that we had reached a peaceful place of forgiveness a few years back but in the recent year he has become abusive to me again. He lives in New york...	Charlotte22	4	582	Aug 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Question for those who stayed and AH is/was in recovery (or double winners) (Preview) Hello my MIP Friends, i was wondering if anyone would be willing to share some esh on the first two to three years with a RAH. Mine is at the16 month mark this week and we are getting along wonderfully, however, I do find that we still have serious intimacy issues, Many are related to the medical issue he...	Doingmybest	6	584	Aug 7, 2016 by knit2thepoint
	Things I have learned while dating .. (Preview) I don't know if I should be impressed with myself or scared as all get out. I have a very active schedule at the moment and the magic word seems to be no .. not no thank you .. just NO. LOL! The whole dating thing has been entertaining is putting it mildly .. I'm coming to a point where I feel like I need to take...	SerenityRUS	14	807	Aug 7, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Perspective needed (Preview) Pinkchip's perspective on boundaries in another post was helpful to me. Makes sense that what we tolerate shows what our true boundaries are and also that what other people do or allow to happen is evidence of their boundaries. My boundary has been to leave the room when my A falls asleep after too ma...	Mcat54	4	494	Aug 7, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Relationships, what's real &I what my illness?? (Preview) Hi, newbie here, been going to Alanon for three short months, long enough for the program to have changed my life, but not long enough for me to understand the difference between my defects and insanity and the reality. My parter is a sober member of AA, dry drunk for most of our relationship, controll...	Hopeful2112	4	615	Aug 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 8/8 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about step 6 and how daunting the prospect of change can be. Many of us find ourselves reluctant to let go of any more of ourselves for fear of "what will be left?" Yet if we consider how far we have come since beginning our journey, we can see how much willingness to change we alreay have....	missmeliss	1	559	Aug 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Caregiving for sick and sober (Preview) I am so lost, confused, guilty, and other emotions I can't describe right now. As many of you know my spouse and I took a "break" this last week and I have been on a meeting marathon working on myself. I had been overwhelmed with the caregiving aspect and not taking care of me. So, now my spouse ended up in th...	gabigail	10	611	Aug 6, 2016 by missmeliss
	Going forward (Preview) Trying to move forward after all the drama and chaos of dealing with my addict sister isn't as easy as I thought it should be,feeling sad and greiveing the loss of a what use to be tons of years ago a very close sister,as painful as it may be I've got to pick myself up and forget the past so that I can move on......	lookingup	3	461	Aug 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/5/16 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today discusses resentments and how poisonous they are to our recovery. Before Al-Anon, many of us spent most of our waking hours poisoned by or obsessing over our resentments. We could hold on to them and keep them burning for day, for years or longer. Many of us nu...	Iamhere	6	503	Aug 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hey all! New and grateful (Preview) Hi everyone, I am so thankful for Alanon and have just recently discovered this program. I have moved from Melbourne to the country for work purposes and gone from one meeting a day ( two sometimes) to not having any meetings for weeks now! I kind of knew how much I had come to depend on meetings but now I R...	Hopeful2112	7	541	Aug 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading for 8-6-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about the times that we feel as if we are unable to take an action or face the challenges that are within our lives. Even when our position is hopeless and HP is beckoning us to take the risk, we hesitate, hoping for a miracle so that we do not have to act. . We forget th...	hotrod	1	865	Aug 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Newbie with Question (Preview) Hi All, I apologize for jumping right in with a question that would probably be answered if I had started the steps or established a sponsor. I'm in a relationship with an addict. He is highly functioning, very intelligent, and a successful business owner. He recently admitted himself into a rehab p...	cc1960	11	611	Aug 6, 2016 by milkwood
	Breakup with a new RA breakup with recovering addict addiction support (Preview) I need some support you guys! I actually posted a long and heartfelt message last night, but it didn't post! Here's take 2.... My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We've been together only for about two months, but he sincerely is one of my best friends and I love him. We went through some difficult stuf...	OptimisticPi	4	7241	Aug 5, 2016 by OptimisticPi
	Trying to have boundaries (Preview) I have asked my AH not to talk to me when he is drinking. But I can't get away from him. He follows me around relentlessly. If I leave he calls and texts to no end. It is soooo emotionally draining. I try not to react. I pray to be able to hold on to myself. To maintain a level of respect for him. But sometimes h...	Serenity75	7	733	Aug 5, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Denial (Preview) Talked with my husband's uncle yesterday - he said to call anytime to vent or ask questions. I had a really rough day at work yesterday and was looking forward to the treat of getting my hair cut. When I left the salon AH sent a text - 'kids are awesome, please bring home ginger ale and beer.' I called him...	LadyM1	11	646	Aug 5, 2016 by knit2thepoint
	Gentle (Preview) Good morning all Wanting to share my gratitude for our program. I have had a rather long issue with a company that owes me some money. I admit to being rude and sarcastic when dealing with them by phone and email over it quite a few times. I got a mail from them last night that today i need to respond to. With m...	Calm Lady	4	468	Aug 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	An open and honest conversation... (Preview) After 6 months of watching my exAbf go to treatment, relapse, be sober, relapse again and now having 3 months of sobriety under his belt, we finally are having open conversations about his disease. He will say "it's my disease talking". Maybe it's an excuse maybe it's an explaination but whatever it i...	Crau	3	514	Aug 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	My responses to wared thinking (Preview) I had to laugh during the crazy meeting I had with my x and the attorney's, it was brought up that X provided 1 paystub in which I asked my attorney later if that was ok or not. LOL! Of course you are not going to process child support off of 1 paystub. My attorney contacted me back and said she would work on...	SerenityRUS	0	446	Aug 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Every Body's Got Something.... (Preview) I've been processing several things this week and have wanted to write but just was stuck. Stuck in sadness, stuck in uncertainty and perhaps fear. At times, each of these has been worse/stronger than the other but these and possible more feelings have been present. One of my dearest friends who is...	Iamhere	20	673	Aug 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Too Old for This (Preview) So AH started at 8AM, I get home at 6PM and ignore the fact that he has been drunk all day. I was pleasant and we had a fairly decent conversation up until I slipped. I sort of joked about something that was a sensitive subject for him and all hell broke loose. I tried to apologize and leave the room, but he...	Groo	15	886	Aug 4, 2016 by IAmStrong
	Setting boundaries and sticking to them (Preview) hi everyone- Its a possibility that my A will be coming back home today. I've been very anxious about it, because I've had this freedom the last few days where I'm not constantly being questioned about my coming and my going, asked to do everything for my recovering A and being able to breathe and do stuf...	gabigail	8	615	Aug 4, 2016 by pinkchip
	3 Views of Al-anon (Preview) This leaflet is from the other side of the family and one of the views is from an alcoholic. Powerful letter, thought Id share. Open Letter from the Alcoholic I am an alcoholic. I need your help.Don't lecture, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry with me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a...	el-cee	18	3993	Aug 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Update (Preview) As most of you know I've been trying to get my sister out of my home,well it finally happened she left on her own after I called the police she scrammed ,saved me 70 dollars for eviction notice,now I'm got my home back no addicts what so ever living here,it seemed so very strange and awkward all the silence...	lookingup	12	555	Aug 4, 2016 by lookingup
	Struggling (Preview) I'm really struggling. Been separated for 3 years. My husband left me for a younger woman who he works with. I know he doesn't deserve me and that I deserve better. He is an alcoholic who is about 90 days sober. I acted like a nut for too long after I found out he was cheating. I was totally blindsided, scare...	ataloss	4	533	Aug 4, 2016 by milkwood
	A packed bag (Preview) I feel like I am drowning right now. Between pressures at work, guilt feelings for not enough time spent with extended family and dealing with the insanity of active alcoholism in my home, I am ready to run for the hills and hide out. I have a friend who is on holiday in Europe and told me I could stay at th...	Bethany66	8	537	Aug 4, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Finally .. (Preview) I got the job .. I'm so happy. I have been working at a non profit company since March of this year after the whole Justin ordeal and it has been a sheer blessing we well as joy. I get to help families who are in worse off situations than I have been in and it truly feels good to be a part of something bigger tha...	SerenityRUS	7	631	Aug 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Grateful (Preview) Difficult time this morning, AH got it into his head that he wanted me to buy him a car. Just like that. He thought this reasonable and that he is entitled to it. He knows I will NEVER be driven by him. He wanted a car for his amusement. To put it into context, we got rid of his previous car years ago as he is too i...	Calm Lady	9	552	Aug 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	He is at it again (Preview) My AH has one day left of outpatient therapy and he has relapsed. He called me a couple times today, slurring his words, needing me for mundane things. He has fallen twice since I have gotten home from work. I am working so hard to detach, let him be and focus on me. I go to two F2F meetings a week. I read the li...	Kcsnooze	12	669	Aug 4, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Unsure of Everything (Preview) My alcoholic has been struggling since December with recovery, in and out of rehabs and always relapsing. Whether it is him just doing the programs to make others happy and to say look I graduated or what. I don't really know what he is thinking, if he truely wants to recover and break-up with alcohol (a...	123456abcdef	3	563	Aug 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Sneaky Old Habits (Preview) it all started because i ordered some bras ...lol. They were delivered to my old house where xah lives. So i had to call him and call to send them to me...which opened a line of communication that has virtually been sealed for 9 mths . Now, he has lots of questions about the house, his doctor,bills etc that...	YARNCRAZY	5	703	Aug 4, 2016 by Bethany66
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/4/16 (Preview) I just realized my plans tomorrow are a bit earlier than I planned for, so am posting the daily for tomorrow tonight. The reading tomorrow discusses how we change, grow and expand in recovery. We are able to learn from criticism from others, and we can remain open to hearing what others have to say. We...	Iamhere	1	403	Aug 4, 2016 by hotrod
	So I went to my first f2f meeting... (Preview) I arrived 15 min early and no one was there. I went around the block a few times thinking it was a sign that this just wasn't meant to be when finally I saw two cars in the lot. Told myself that I should do one thing today that terrifies me, parked the car and went in. Apparently the look on my face said it all...	Groo	7	531	Aug 4, 2016 by Hopeful2112
	New (Preview) Hello All, I'm new here and looking for support and knowledge of alcoholism. -savingmyself	savingmyself	14	736	Aug 3, 2016 by pinkchip
	Newbie (Preview) Hi, I am in an a great relationship with man dedicated to his recovery. We have been together for two years. He has been sober for 5 years after a relapse that destroyed his marriage, his career and a somewhat fancy lifestyle. As our relationship progressed he has become more and more open with me about h...	Littlesister7	5	531	Aug 3, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change Reading 8-3-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 3 speaks about the tool of" denial" that many of us use, in order to cope with the disease. We try to say that alcoholism does not exist in our family. that we are normal and everything is fine. We use "minimizing "on huge issues and deny our feelings. and reality. Today, aft...	hotrod	4	758	Aug 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	update after leaving Aexbf (Preview) It has been awhile since I have been on Al-anon. Revisiting my past it seems, which is still so much a part of me. Just wanted to give an update I guess and hear from you all. I have been doing well and after leaving my ex boyfriend who drank in November, I am healing back to my old self and met someone new afte...	giraffe13	6	578	Aug 2, 2016 by hotrod
	Help (Preview) My son is 24. He is an alcoholic. Lives at home. Court ordered to complete evaluation and counseling he hasn't started counseling yet. Tonight I looked in his room and found a full bottle of vodka. He is drinking. He is furious I looked in his room. But it's our house and our boundary was no drinking here....	Wendy8	1	396	Aug 2, 2016 by hotrod
	A resentment about drinking (Preview) I've been so caught up for the last week so focused on my AH's drinking. It came up somehow. I can't remember the circumstances but I saw that he didn't believe me about the accuracy of how much he drinks. Since that day I have been so caught up in focusing on it myself. I told him how much I estimate that...	KT2015	16	620	Aug 2, 2016 by 2ez24get
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.