Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

cc1960 · cc1960

Hi All, I apologize for jumping right in with a question that would probably be answered if I had started the steps or established a sponsor. I'm in a relationship with an addict. He is highly functioning, very intelligent, and a successful business owner. He recently admitted himself into a rehab p...

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

I need some support you guys! I actually posted a long and heartfelt message last night, but it didn't post! Here's take 2.... My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We've been together only for about two months, but he sincerely is one of my best friends and I love him. We went through some difficult stuf...

Serenity75 · Serenity75

I have asked my AH not to talk to me when he is drinking. But I can't get away from him. He follows me around relentlessly. If I leave he calls and texts to no end. It is soooo emotionally draining. I try not to react. I pray to be able to hold on to myself. To maintain a level of respect for him. But sometimes h...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

Talked with my husband's uncle yesterday - he said to call anytime to vent or ask questions. I had a really rough day at work yesterday and was looking forward to the treat of getting my hair cut. When I left the salon AH sent a text - 'kids are awesome, please bring home ginger ale and beer.' I called him...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Good morning all Wanting to share my gratitude for our program. I have had a rather long issue with a company that owes me some money. I admit to being rude and sarcastic when dealing with them by phone and email over it quite a few times. I got a mail from them last night that today i need to respond to. With m...

Crau · Crau

After 6 months of watching my exAbf go to treatment, relapse, be sober, relapse again and now having 3 months of sobriety under his belt, we finally are having open conversations about his disease. He will say "it's my disease talking". Maybe it's an excuse maybe it's an explaination but whatever it i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to laugh during the crazy meeting I had with my x and the attorney's, it was brought up that X provided 1 paystub in which I asked my attorney later if that was ok or not. LOL! Of course you are not going to process child support off of 1 paystub. My attorney contacted me back and said she would work on...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I've been processing several things this week and have wanted to write but just was stuck. Stuck in sadness, stuck in uncertainty and perhaps fear. At times, each of these has been worse/stronger than the other but these and possible more feelings have been present. One of my dearest friends who is...

Groo · Groo

So AH started at 8AM, I get home at 6PM and ignore the fact that he has been drunk all day. I was pleasant and we had a fairly decent conversation up until I slipped. I sort of joked about something that was a sensitive subject for him and all hell broke loose. I tried to apologize and leave the room, but he...

gabigail · gabigail

hi everyone- Its a possibility that my A will be coming back home today. I've been very anxious about it, because I've had this freedom the last few days where I'm not constantly being questioned about my coming and my going, asked to do everything for my recovering A and being able to breathe and do stuf...

el-cee · el-cee

This leaflet is from the other side of the family and one of the views is from an alcoholic. Powerful letter, thought Id share. Open Letter from the Alcoholic I am an alcoholic. I need your help.Don't lecture, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry with me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a...

lookingup · lookingup

As most of you know I've been trying to get my sister out of my home,well it finally happened she left on her own after I called the police she scrammed ,saved me 70 dollars for eviction notice,now I'm got my home back no addicts what so ever living here,it seemed so very strange and awkward all the silence...

ataloss · ataloss

I'm really struggling. Been separated for 3 years. My husband left me for a younger woman who he works with. I know he doesn't deserve me and that I deserve better. He is an alcoholic who is about 90 days sober. I acted like a nut for too long after I found out he was cheating. I was totally blindsided, scare...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I feel like I am drowning right now. Between pressures at work, guilt feelings for not enough time spent with extended family and dealing with the insanity of active alcoholism in my home, I am ready to run for the hills and hide out. I have a friend who is on holiday in Europe and told me I could stay at th...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I got the job .. I'm so happy. I have been working at a non profit company since March of this year after the whole Justin ordeal and it has been a sheer blessing we well as joy. I get to help families who are in worse off situations than I have been in and it truly feels good to be a part of something bigger tha...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Difficult time this morning, AH got it into his head that he wanted me to buy him a car. Just like that. He thought this reasonable and that he is entitled to it. He knows I will NEVER be driven by him. He wanted a car for his amusement. To put it into context, we got rid of his previous car years ago as he is too i...

Kcsnooze · Kcsnooze

My AH has one day left of outpatient therapy and he has relapsed. He called me a couple times today, slurring his words, needing me for mundane things. He has fallen twice since I have gotten home from work. I am working so hard to detach, let him be and focus on me. I go to two F2F meetings a week. I read the li...

123456abcdef · 123456abcdef

My alcoholic has been struggling since December with recovery, in and out of rehabs and always relapsing. Whether it is him just doing the programs to make others happy and to say look I graduated or what. I don't really know what he is thinking, if he truely wants to recover and break-up with alcohol (a...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

it all started because i ordered some bras ...lol. They were delivered to my old house where xah lives. So i had to call him and call to send them to me...which opened a line of communication that has virtually been sealed for 9 mths . Now, he has lots of questions about the house, his doctor,bills etc that...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I just realized my plans tomorrow are a bit earlier than I planned for, so am posting the daily for tomorrow tonight. The reading tomorrow discusses how we change, grow and expand in recovery. We are able to learn from criticism from others, and we can remain open to hearing what others have to say. We...

Groo · Groo

I arrived 15 min early and no one was there. I went around the block a few times thinking it was a sign that this just wasn't meant to be when finally I saw two cars in the lot. Told myself that I should do one thing today that terrifies me, parked the car and went in. Apparently the look on my face said it all...

savingmyself · savingmyself

Hello All, I'm new here and looking for support and knowledge of alcoholism. -savingmyself

Littlesister7 · Littlesister7

Hi, I am in an a great relationship with man dedicated to his recovery. We have been together for two years. He has been sober for 5 years after a relapse that destroyed his marriage, his career and a somewhat fancy lifestyle. As our relationship progressed he has become more and more open with me about h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 3 speaks about the tool of" denial" that many of us use, in order to cope with the disease. We try to say that alcoholism does not exist in our family. that we are normal and everything is fine. We use "minimizing "on huge issues and deny our feelings. and reality. Today, aft...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

It has been awhile since I have been on Al-anon. Revisiting my past it seems, which is still so much a part of me. Just wanted to give an update I guess and hear from you all. I have been doing well and after leaving my ex boyfriend who drank in November, I am healing back to my old self and met someone new afte...

Wendy8 · Wendy8

My son is 24. He is an alcoholic. Lives at home. Court ordered to complete evaluation and counseling he hasn't started counseling yet. Tonight I looked in his room and found a full bottle of vodka. He is drinking. He is furious I looked in his room. But it's our house and our boundary was no drinking here....

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been so caught up for the last week so focused on my AH's drinking. It came up somehow. I can't remember the circumstances but I saw that he didn't believe me about the accuracy of how much he drinks. Since that day I have been so caught up in focusing on it myself. I told him how much I estimate that...

andream · andream

Hi! I am new to the message boards. I am glad I found this group! Well, I have a pressing problem. My brother is four years younger than me and growing up I was very bossy and know that at times I still am to him. I'm working on it though. He has been known to be sort of grumpy though. He got upset with me the oth...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

So AH this week has connected with his uncle who is 12 years sober as of today (yea for him! ) and he had some great descriptors of alcoholism and insights which he shared with both of us. He told AH that when your actions go so far against your value system (i.e. driving drunk when it's never anything you...

helpless mom · helpless mom

I always feel like I'm being taken advantage of, not only by my AD, but also my other children. Does anyone else feel like the only time they hear from someone is for money or a favor? Unfortunately my sponsor died a couple of months ago. I would be talking to her about this.

LaurenMarie4 · LaurenMarie4

Hi, may name is Lauren and I am very new to all of this. My husband has been home for about 4 months and all was great, until recently. He seems to be demonstrating some dry drunk symtoms. Just not as positive and restless. He did relapse about a month ago, and has realized what he did wrong. He wants to be sob...

Leyla · Leyla

Hi, I'm pretty new to all this, and I am searching for support and to learn more about alcoholism. It took me a long time to admit that my husband is an alcoholic. We are married for almost 2 years now, and I didn't know about his drinking problem until we got married. He didn't drink while we were dating, he...

knit2thepoint · knit2thepoint

As a woman I feel like I am always caring and giving. I am at the age right now where every other weekend is a wedding shower or a baby shower. While I do not resent this life that I find myself in I cannot help but wonder what things would be like if I went down a different path. The last 5 years of my life I have...

hotrod · hotrod

Birthday celebration was great. Here are pictures as promised.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the power of prayer. We can communicate with our HP at anytime, and prayer may take many different forms. Some of us may have formal prayers that we learned and use those to communicate. Others may just have more of a conversation with our HP, some of us...

judy1234 · judy1234

hi my partner currently suffering he has lost his direction after 9 years in recovery, he had a detox six weeks ago now is back to square one, he was staying with me but it has got too much for me he lives 50miles away. feel so sad i have let him down, dont know if i have done the right thing how to help, or if ther...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

LOL .. I have not posted in forever and there is a LOT going on at the moment. Kids went for a visit to Illinois which had a mixed bag of results. I had to deal with attorney's and X .. UGH. OMGOSH .. funniest thing ever though. Ummm .. gotta love someone else paying their attorney to take your agenda. It...

Aerin · Aerin

I am obviously on this board to understand my Abf and his actions. I am still baffled that they say hurtful things while drinking but next day seem to forget or play down what happen.( i no longer bring it up) Do they truly not see how they act and how can they possibly not be thinking in ths moment, omg I am ac...

Ninobeli · Ninobeli

I'm new to this . My AH went through an inpatient and the outpatient program. Things were great for awhile, now he is back to sneaking drinks and lying. My question / dilemma is ... I don't know how to react or what to do when he drinks. He tends to say " I'm sorry" and acts like it's back to life as normal . I fee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

It's a new month! Today's reading talks about coming to the program in the hopes of fixing our qualifier. We came often to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that our lives would then return to normal once they were 'fixed'. In the Al-Anon program, we come to understand that we di...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Happened upon a hidden bottle of gin yesterday, which answers my question about how my AH is nodding off in the evenings though I've not seen him have more than one drink. He was drifting off late yesterday afternoon (head thrown straight back), and we had plans to go to a concert later. I prayed for my HP...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I was in al anon for 10 years from 30 - 40 and then moved to a small city in Canada and there not many meetings and they cross talk and gossip so I have been white knuckling my recovery for 13 years!! (I had a child at age 40) I have been in a bit of a dark night of the soul after a separation and my elde...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I got honest with myself yesterday and addressed emotions I have been feeling off and on and off and on for the past 6 - 8 months or so about full retirement. I've been working for 60 years or so at various trades successfully owning my own business and such and I've been married 3 times w...

carlyrodgers · carlyrodgers

Hello all! My name is Carly Rodgers and I am conducting a study on ACOAs, alcoholism, and levels of hope and attachment. If you would like to participate, you can click on the link below. Attached is the informed consent if you so wish to look it over. Thank you! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/a...

Sara in CO · Sara in CO

I just hit a point with my AH in which I suggested divorce. We have not even been married a year. The truth is, the last thing I want is a divorce. I want him to get better! To try! To think of anyone besides himself. I want my best friend. :( He started this "plan" three weeks ago that he swore up and down would...

Iwmlb · Iwmlb

Hi. I was just told I am an adult child. that explains a lot. I am not in a current relationship rhe last one was very painful, I have a history of abuse. I want to get better. I keep hearing people say 'take care of yourself'. They talk about being healthy and young looking and so on. Cmound anyone tell me wha...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 31 speaks about tackling a job a little bit at a time. It points out that housekeeping sometimes is overwhelming, but if we do one small task and get something accomplished we feel that it is possible to keep moving forward. That is what one day at a time is all about. If we take o...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hotrod (Betty) is having a birthday tomorrow and plans to have a great day! So that she can start her tomorrow off with love and blessings from our MIP Family, I wanted to reach out one day early and say - Happy Birthday Betty!!! You are the gift that keeps on giving. Each day, every day - no matter my mood...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Thanks in advance

Dswat · Dswat

My current gf over the last year I have found out is a pretty strong alcoholic. I think shes finally getting herself straight and this is shown by her behavior. Its tough for her but he had a divorce a few years back where she lost everything and is now living in her moms basement. She stopped drinking and w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

In our daily reader, it discusses happiness as an 'inside job'. It suggests that I can be as happy as I decide to be. Living with this disease and life issues, we often get distracted and find our happiness fleeting. It's not realistic to be happy all the time, yet we might achieve this goal more often...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

I posted this as a thread of my intro post, but realized it might better serve as a solo thread lol.AH was caught for his first DUI on Tuesday. I've been dealing with some pretty intense emotions, anger, embarrassment, resentment, and frustration. I've told him while I happily support his seeking h...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

I'm having trouble trusting my perceptions of what's going on with my high functioning AH. He had cut back on drinking but slipping back to drinking more and is nodding off again at night, though I only see him have one drink when usually he nods off after three drinks. At first I thought he was just tired...

El · El

Well, I can see some progress on my part. Feels like 2 steps back and 1 forward some days, but I can pause before responding and decide whether I will use my al-non tools or not. AH has been in a lazy mode lately. Drinking is up and down. Some productive days around the house or errands (he's retired with no...

LadyM1 · LadyM1

Hello everyone - haven't been on in a long time (OP as LadyM, but old email is discontinued and I can't remember my info lol), but am happy to see this community still is supporting each other. :) My AH has been caught this wweek with his first OUI and am so angry. He is asking for my support as he goes throu...

knit2thepoint · knit2thepoint

The spouse of an AA friend in my AH fellowship apparently heard of my struggles with finding an Al Anon group. She reached out in a very amazing way and shared this with me. I do not know if this is allowed or not but I felt like I needed to pass it on.

a4l · a4l

Half way through another year and my marbles are together for the most part, except for fear of the future. My boy will be 6 next year and off to full time special needs school. I'm sad but realistic about it. Its where he has to be as he is non verbal and has high sensory input needs and still isn't toiletin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading suggests that the Al-Anon program is a spiritual program, not a religious program. No religious belief is required and we each get to choose any power greater than ourselves as our spiritual being. If anyone has had LTP (Less Than Perfect) life experiences with organized re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from courage to change talks about patience with program, self and growth. It opens with the story about a stonecutter who strikes a stone 99 times with no impact - no split, no chip - no apparent effect whatsoever! Yet, with the 100th strike on the stone, it splits in two. It was NOT t...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hello lovely Al-anoners I was a member here a couple years ago, working my Al-anon program. Been away working on outside issues. Glad to now be home in Al-anon again. Looking forward to my him group on Monday. I couldn't remember my old username. Feels good to be back.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Newbie with Question (Preview) Hi All, I apologize for jumping right in with a question that would probably be answered if I had started the steps or established a sponsor. I'm in a relationship with an addict. He is highly functioning, very intelligent, and a successful business owner. He recently admitted himself into a rehab p...	cc1960	11	497	Aug 6, 2016 by milkwood
	Breakup with a new RA breakup with recovering addict addiction support (Preview) I need some support you guys! I actually posted a long and heartfelt message last night, but it didn't post! Here's take 2.... My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We've been together only for about two months, but he sincerely is one of my best friends and I love him. We went through some difficult stuf...	OptimisticPi	4	5903	Aug 5, 2016 by OptimisticPi
	Trying to have boundaries (Preview) I have asked my AH not to talk to me when he is drinking. But I can't get away from him. He follows me around relentlessly. If I leave he calls and texts to no end. It is soooo emotionally draining. I try not to react. I pray to be able to hold on to myself. To maintain a level of respect for him. But sometimes h...	Serenity75	7	623	Aug 5, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Denial (Preview) Talked with my husband's uncle yesterday - he said to call anytime to vent or ask questions. I had a really rough day at work yesterday and was looking forward to the treat of getting my hair cut. When I left the salon AH sent a text - 'kids are awesome, please bring home ginger ale and beer.' I called him...	LadyM1	11	531	Aug 5, 2016 by knit2thepoint
	Gentle (Preview) Good morning all Wanting to share my gratitude for our program. I have had a rather long issue with a company that owes me some money. I admit to being rude and sarcastic when dealing with them by phone and email over it quite a few times. I got a mail from them last night that today i need to respond to. With m...	Calm Lady	4	354	Aug 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	An open and honest conversation... (Preview) After 6 months of watching my exAbf go to treatment, relapse, be sober, relapse again and now having 3 months of sobriety under his belt, we finally are having open conversations about his disease. He will say "it's my disease talking". Maybe it's an excuse maybe it's an explaination but whatever it i...	Crau	3	386	Aug 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	My responses to wared thinking (Preview) I had to laugh during the crazy meeting I had with my x and the attorney's, it was brought up that X provided 1 paystub in which I asked my attorney later if that was ok or not. LOL! Of course you are not going to process child support off of 1 paystub. My attorney contacted me back and said she would work on...	SerenityRUS	0	324	Aug 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Every Body's Got Something.... (Preview) I've been processing several things this week and have wanted to write but just was stuck. Stuck in sadness, stuck in uncertainty and perhaps fear. At times, each of these has been worse/stronger than the other but these and possible more feelings have been present. One of my dearest friends who is...	Iamhere	20	566	Aug 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Too Old for This (Preview) So AH started at 8AM, I get home at 6PM and ignore the fact that he has been drunk all day. I was pleasant and we had a fairly decent conversation up until I slipped. I sort of joked about something that was a sensitive subject for him and all hell broke loose. I tried to apologize and leave the room, but he...	Groo	15	743	Aug 4, 2016 by IAmStrong
	Setting boundaries and sticking to them (Preview) hi everyone- Its a possibility that my A will be coming back home today. I've been very anxious about it, because I've had this freedom the last few days where I'm not constantly being questioned about my coming and my going, asked to do everything for my recovering A and being able to breathe and do stuf...	gabigail	8	496	Aug 4, 2016 by pinkchip
	3 Views of Al-anon (Preview) This leaflet is from the other side of the family and one of the views is from an alcoholic. Powerful letter, thought Id share. Open Letter from the Alcoholic I am an alcoholic. I need your help.Don't lecture, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry with me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a...	el-cee	18	3390	Aug 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Update (Preview) As most of you know I've been trying to get my sister out of my home,well it finally happened she left on her own after I called the police she scrammed ,saved me 70 dollars for eviction notice,now I'm got my home back no addicts what so ever living here,it seemed so very strange and awkward all the silence...	lookingup	12	462	Aug 4, 2016 by lookingup
	Struggling (Preview) I'm really struggling. Been separated for 3 years. My husband left me for a younger woman who he works with. I know he doesn't deserve me and that I deserve better. He is an alcoholic who is about 90 days sober. I acted like a nut for too long after I found out he was cheating. I was totally blindsided, scare...	ataloss	4	423	Aug 4, 2016 by milkwood
	A packed bag (Preview) I feel like I am drowning right now. Between pressures at work, guilt feelings for not enough time spent with extended family and dealing with the insanity of active alcoholism in my home, I am ready to run for the hills and hide out. I have a friend who is on holiday in Europe and told me I could stay at th...	Bethany66	8	416	Aug 4, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Finally .. (Preview) I got the job .. I'm so happy. I have been working at a non profit company since March of this year after the whole Justin ordeal and it has been a sheer blessing we well as joy. I get to help families who are in worse off situations than I have been in and it truly feels good to be a part of something bigger tha...	SerenityRUS	7	520	Aug 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Grateful (Preview) Difficult time this morning, AH got it into his head that he wanted me to buy him a car. Just like that. He thought this reasonable and that he is entitled to it. He knows I will NEVER be driven by him. He wanted a car for his amusement. To put it into context, we got rid of his previous car years ago as he is too i...	Calm Lady	9	443	Aug 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	He is at it again (Preview) My AH has one day left of outpatient therapy and he has relapsed. He called me a couple times today, slurring his words, needing me for mundane things. He has fallen twice since I have gotten home from work. I am working so hard to detach, let him be and focus on me. I go to two F2F meetings a week. I read the li...	Kcsnooze	12	544	Aug 4, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Unsure of Everything (Preview) My alcoholic has been struggling since December with recovery, in and out of rehabs and always relapsing. Whether it is him just doing the programs to make others happy and to say look I graduated or what. I don't really know what he is thinking, if he truely wants to recover and break-up with alcohol (a...	123456abcdef	3	432	Aug 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Sneaky Old Habits (Preview) it all started because i ordered some bras ...lol. They were delivered to my old house where xah lives. So i had to call him and call to send them to me...which opened a line of communication that has virtually been sealed for 9 mths . Now, he has lots of questions about the house, his doctor,bills etc that...	YARNCRAZY	5	603	Aug 4, 2016 by Bethany66
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/4/16 (Preview) I just realized my plans tomorrow are a bit earlier than I planned for, so am posting the daily for tomorrow tonight. The reading tomorrow discusses how we change, grow and expand in recovery. We are able to learn from criticism from others, and we can remain open to hearing what others have to say. We...	Iamhere	1	298	Aug 4, 2016 by hotrod
	So I went to my first f2f meeting... (Preview) I arrived 15 min early and no one was there. I went around the block a few times thinking it was a sign that this just wasn't meant to be when finally I saw two cars in the lot. Told myself that I should do one thing today that terrifies me, parked the car and went in. Apparently the look on my face said it all...	Groo	7	422	Aug 4, 2016 by Hopeful2112
	New (Preview) Hello All, I'm new here and looking for support and knowledge of alcoholism. -savingmyself	savingmyself	14	625	Aug 3, 2016 by pinkchip
	Newbie (Preview) Hi, I am in an a great relationship with man dedicated to his recovery. We have been together for two years. He has been sober for 5 years after a relapse that destroyed his marriage, his career and a somewhat fancy lifestyle. As our relationship progressed he has become more and more open with me about h...	Littlesister7	5	420	Aug 3, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change Reading 8-3-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 3 speaks about the tool of" denial" that many of us use, in order to cope with the disease. We try to say that alcoholism does not exist in our family. that we are normal and everything is fine. We use "minimizing "on huge issues and deny our feelings. and reality. Today, aft...	hotrod	4	617	Aug 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	update after leaving Aexbf (Preview) It has been awhile since I have been on Al-anon. Revisiting my past it seems, which is still so much a part of me. Just wanted to give an update I guess and hear from you all. I have been doing well and after leaving my ex boyfriend who drank in November, I am healing back to my old self and met someone new afte...	giraffe13	6	468	Aug 2, 2016 by hotrod
	Help (Preview) My son is 24. He is an alcoholic. Lives at home. Court ordered to complete evaluation and counseling he hasn't started counseling yet. Tonight I looked in his room and found a full bottle of vodka. He is drinking. He is furious I looked in his room. But it's our house and our boundary was no drinking here....	Wendy8	1	281	Aug 2, 2016 by hotrod
	A resentment about drinking (Preview) I've been so caught up for the last week so focused on my AH's drinking. It came up somehow. I can't remember the circumstances but I saw that he didn't believe me about the accuracy of how much he drinks. Since that day I have been so caught up in focusing on it myself. I told him how much I estimate that...	KT2015	16	517	Aug 2, 2016 by 2ez24get
	New Here! Brother's anger aimed often at me! :( (Preview) Hi! I am new to the message boards. I am glad I found this group! Well, I have a pressing problem. My brother is four years younger than me and growing up I was very bossy and know that at times I still am to him. I'm working on it though. He has been known to be sort of grumpy though. He got upset with me the oth...	andream	3	420	Aug 2, 2016 by hotrod
	It's not the drinking, it's just.... (Preview) So AH this week has connected with his uncle who is 12 years sober as of today (yea for him! ) and he had some great descriptors of alcoholism and insights which he shared with both of us. He told AH that when your actions go so far against your value system (i.e. driving drunk when it's never anything you...	LadyM1	2	374	Aug 2, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Resentful (Preview) I always feel like I'm being taken advantage of, not only by my AD, but also my other children. Does anyone else feel like the only time they hear from someone is for money or a favor? Unfortunately my sponsor died a couple of months ago. I would be talking to her about this.	helpless mom	3	440	Aug 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dry Husband (Preview) Hi, may name is Lauren and I am very new to all of this. My husband has been home for about 4 months and all was great, until recently. He seems to be demonstrating some dry drunk symtoms. Just not as positive and restless. He did relapse about a month ago, and has realized what he did wrong. He wants to be sob...	LaurenMarie4	10	587	Aug 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	NEW (Preview) Hi, I'm pretty new to all this, and I am searching for support and to learn more about alcoholism. It took me a long time to admit that my husband is an alcoholic. We are married for almost 2 years now, and I didn't know about his drinking problem until we got married. He didn't drink while we were dating, he...	Leyla	10	416	Aug 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do when an ugly cry doesn't help? (Preview) As a woman I feel like I am always caring and giving. I am at the age right now where every other weekend is a wedding shower or a baby shower. While I do not resent this life that I find myself in I cannot help but wonder what things would be like if I went down a different path. The last 5 years of my life I have...	knit2thepoint	10	524	Aug 2, 2016 by milkwood
	Birthday pictures (Preview) Birthday celebration was great. Here are pictures as promised.	hotrod	19	740	Aug 2, 2016 by a4l
	Hope for Today Aug 2 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the power of prayer. We can communicate with our HP at anytime, and prayer may take many different forms. Some of us may have formal prayers that we learned and use those to communicate. Others may just have more of a conversation with our HP, some of us...	yanksfan51	2	287	Aug 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	where to start (Preview) hi my partner currently suffering he has lost his direction after 9 years in recovery, he had a detox six weeks ago now is back to square one, he was staying with me but it has got too much for me he lives 50miles away. feel so sad i have let him down, dont know if i have done the right thing how to help, or if ther...	judy1234	3	213	Aug 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Meeting (Preview) LOL .. I have not posted in forever and there is a LOT going on at the moment. Kids went for a visit to Illinois which had a mixed bag of results. I had to deal with attorney's and X .. UGH. OMGOSH .. funniest thing ever though. Ummm .. gotta love someone else paying their attorney to take your agenda. It...	SerenityRUS	4	467	Aug 2, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	If Alcoholics say hurtful things, don't they regret it? (Preview) I am obviously on this board to understand my Abf and his actions. I am still baffled that they say hurtful things while drinking but next day seem to forget or play down what happen.( i no longer bring it up) Do they truly not see how they act and how can they possibly not be thinking in ths moment, omg I am ac...	Aerin	14	2400	Aug 2, 2016 by milkwood
	How to react to relapse (Preview) I'm new to this . My AH went through an inpatient and the outpatient program. Things were great for awhile, now he is back to sneaking drinks and lying. My question / dilemma is ... I don't know how to react or what to do when he drinks. He tends to say " I'm sorry" and acts like it's back to life as normal . I fee...	Ninobeli	5	633	Aug 1, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/1/16 (Preview) It's a new month! Today's reading talks about coming to the program in the hopes of fixing our qualifier. We came often to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that our lives would then return to normal once they were 'fixed'. In the Al-Anon program, we come to understand that we di...	Iamhere	1	366	Aug 1, 2016 by hotrod
	Used the tools -- they worked!! Boundaries taking care of myself (Preview) Happened upon a hidden bottle of gin yesterday, which answers my question about how my AH is nodding off in the evenings though I've not seen him have more than one drink. He was drifting off late yesterday afternoon (head thrown straight back), and we had plans to go to a concert later. I prayed for my HP...	Mcat54	4	4260	Jul 31, 2016 by likeaboss
	Can we TURN OVER our Depression and Anxiety to HP? I would like to try it... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I was in al anon for 10 years from 30 - 40 and then moved to a small city in Canada and there not many meetings and they cross talk and gossip so I have been white knuckling my recovery for 13 years!! (I had a child at age 40) I have been in a bit of a dark night of the soul after a separation and my elde...	Charlotte22	5	426	Jul 31, 2016 by savingmyself
	In negotiations with HP (Preview) Aloha Family...I got honest with myself yesterday and addressed emotions I have been feeling off and on and off and on for the past 6 - 8 months or so about full retirement. I've been working for 60 years or so at various trades successfully owning my own business and such and I've been married 3 times w...	Jerry F	3	394	Jul 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Participate in a study on ACOAs/alcoholism and hope!!!!! (Preview) Hello all! My name is Carly Rodgers and I am conducting a study on ACOAs, alcoholism, and levels of hope and attachment. If you would like to participate, you can click on the link below. Attached is the informed consent if you so wish to look it over. Thank you! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/a...	carlyrodgers	0	231	Jul 31, 2016 by carlyrodgers
	So beyond frustrated and hurt (Preview) I just hit a point with my AH in which I suggested divorce. We have not even been married a year. The truth is, the last thing I want is a divorce. I want him to get better! To try! To think of anyone besides himself. I want my best friend. :( He started this "plan" three weeks ago that he swore up and down would...	Sara in CO	9	525	Jul 31, 2016 by knit2thepoint
	Sort of new to alanon. Hi and question (Preview) Hi. I was just told I am an adult child. that explains a lot. I am not in a current relationship rhe last one was very painful, I have a history of abuse. I want to get better. I keep hearing people say 'take care of yourself'. They talk about being healthy and young looking and so on. Cmound anyone tell me wha...	Iwmlb	7	413	Jul 31, 2016 by el-cee
	C2C Reading 7-31-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 31 speaks about tackling a job a little bit at a time. It points out that housekeeping sometimes is overwhelming, but if we do one small task and get something accomplished we feel that it is possible to keep moving forward. That is what one day at a time is all about. If we take o...	hotrod	2	320	Jul 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOTROD (Tomorrow - so we're early) (Preview) Hotrod (Betty) is having a birthday tomorrow and plans to have a great day! So that she can start her tomorrow off with love and blessings from our MIP Family, I wanted to reach out one day early and say - Happy Birthday Betty!!! You are the gift that keeps on giving. Each day, every day - no matter my mood...	Iamhere	23	561	Jul 31, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Is there an Alanon online meeting today UK time (Preview) Thanks in advance	Barbs45	1	288	Jul 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Found out my gf is alcoholic (Preview) My current gf over the last year I have found out is a pretty strong alcoholic. I think shes finally getting herself straight and this is shown by her behavior. Its tough for her but he had a divorce a few years back where she lost everything and is now living in her moms basement. She stopped drinking and w...	Dswat	3	395	Jul 30, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/30/16 (Preview) In our daily reader, it discusses happiness as an 'inside job'. It suggests that I can be as happy as I decide to be. Living with this disease and life issues, we often get distracted and find our happiness fleeting. It's not realistic to be happy all the time, yet we might achieve this goal more often...	Iamhere	1	341	Jul 30, 2016 by hotrod
	The journey through his first DUI (Preview) I posted this as a thread of my intro post, but realized it might better serve as a solo thread lol.AH was caught for his first DUI on Tuesday. I've been dealing with some pretty intense emotions, anger, embarrassment, resentment, and frustration. I've told him while I happily support his seeking h...	LadyM1	5	387	Jul 30, 2016 by Mattie
	How do I trust my perceptions? (Preview) I'm having trouble trusting my perceptions of what's going on with my high functioning AH. He had cut back on drinking but slipping back to drinking more and is nodding off again at night, though I only see him have one drink when usually he nods off after three drinks. At first I thought he was just tired...	Mcat54	11	696	Jul 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress (Preview) Well, I can see some progress on my part. Feels like 2 steps back and 1 forward some days, but I can pause before responding and decide whether I will use my al-non tools or not. AH has been in a lazy mode lately. Drinking is up and down. Some productive days around the house or errands (he's retired with no...	El	5	358	Jul 30, 2016 by blindsided
	Hi again (Preview) Hello everyone - haven't been on in a long time (OP as LadyM, but old email is discontinued and I can't remember my info lol), but am happy to see this community still is supporting each other. :) My AH has been caught this wweek with his first OUI and am so angry. He is asking for my support as he goes throu...	LadyM1	4	377	Jul 30, 2016 by LadyM1
	Funny how things work (Preview) The spouse of an AA friend in my AH fellowship apparently heard of my struggles with finding an Al Anon group. She reached out in a very amazing way and shared this with me. I do not know if this is allowed or not but I felt like I needed to pass it on.	knit2thepoint	8	433	Jul 29, 2016 by milkwood
	Just musing. (Preview) Half way through another year and my marbles are together for the most part, except for fear of the future. My boy will be 6 next year and off to full time special needs school. I'm sad but realistic about it. Its where he has to be as he is non verbal and has high sensory input needs and still isn't toiletin...	a4l	3	377	Jul 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/29/16 (Preview) Today's daily reading suggests that the Al-Anon program is a spiritual program, not a religious program. No religious belief is required and we each get to choose any power greater than ourselves as our spiritual being. If anyone has had LTP (Less Than Perfect) life experiences with organized re...	Iamhere	1	250	Jul 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/28/16 (Preview) Today's reading from courage to change talks about patience with program, self and growth. It opens with the story about a stonecutter who strikes a stone 99 times with no impact - no split, no chip - no apparent effect whatsoever! Yet, with the 100th strike on the stone, it splits in two. It was NOT t...	Iamhere	4	604	Jul 28, 2016 by LaurieA
	Hello again (Preview) Hello lovely Al-anoners I was a member here a couple years ago, working my Al-anon program. Been away working on outside issues. Glad to now be home in Al-anon again. Looking forward to my him group on Monday. I couldn't remember my old username. Feels good to be back.	Calm Lady	9	408	Jul 28, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.