The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Happened upon a hidden bottle of gin yesterday, which answers my question about how my AH is nodding off in the evenings though I've not seen him have more than one drink. He was drifting off late yesterday afternoon (head thrown straight back), and we had plans to go to a concert later. I prayed for my HP to help me. Using the words from a previous post here, when he asked about getting ready to go, I said, "I don't know what was happening this afternoon, but you were falling asleep like you have in the past when you've had several drinks. I don't want to ride in the car with you tonight. So we will need to go another night to the concert." He said, "what night do you want to go?" I suggested looking at the program and deciding later. He really wanted to see the performance, so he went without me. I had a peaceful night, completely eliminated the resentment and potential for riding with him. He enjoyed the concert. I know I wouldn't have been able to do that without the program. But, I accepted what I couldn't change and changed what I could, taking care of myself. A small miracle for me. I am so grateful for the support and sharing. Went to an open AA meeting today. My guy seems very far from entering those rooms, but I was blessed to hear the wisdom and ESH from people who've been where he is.
MCat - truly great share showing how small program efforts can bring about unexpected results. Happy that you used your tools and found some peace. Open AA meetings are always a hopeful place for me.....to see where some have been and to see them now always gives me hope!! Keep coming back and glad you're with us on this path of recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks so much for sharing that - and congrats on the success and evening of peace!!!
I'm going through such a similar situation with my AH, so reading your posts have been really helpful to me. Lately, the simple act of catching myself obsessing about his drinking has been pretty game changing. Instead, I stop and ask myself what I want in that moment instead of trying to dissect something I will never be able to control: another person. Go figure.
My night ended up relatively peaceful, as well. My AH relapsed a few months ago and (as always) slowly but surely eases the drinking back into plain sight. I am well aware he's drinking elsewhere, but it always takes a few months for him to actually bring it into the house (I assume allow the addictive urge to surpass the guilt and shame). Tonight I spotted two beer cans in the fridge behind his Diet Pepsi, barely hidden. Interesting. Soon after, he asked if he should go out to have a beer or if he could drink here, something he's never asked before. I calmly said with no emotion, I assume you already drink in the house so do whatever you'd like, I'm going to eat dinner in the kitchen. You do you. He changed and went out. Even if he'd stayed home, I ended up having a lovely, peaceful evening by myself.
