The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just a warm hello to everyone. No need to reply to this. I haven't been posting for awhile because I have had a crazy sinus infection and my ears have been blocked for several weeks now. I guess I can hear about 80% now. Dragging myself to work was a real chore.
My A hasn't changed his drinking habits--at the bar every evening into the morning hours--and our communication is almost nonexistent. He just doesn't seem to give of himself or make much of an effort to sustain our relationship. And since he is not changing his drinking patterns, our relationship is stagnant. He can't wait to get to the bar; and, in all honesty, sometimes I am glad when he leaves the house.
My son's girlfriend thinks my son has a drinking problem (age 25), and I do too. Of course, he doesn't think so. Living in a college town and across from a bar and bartending doesn't help matters. I have been emailing her trying to direct her to the right resources.
Now that I am feeling somewhat better, I want to get back to board. Love and prayers to all of you. Annie
Wanted to reply to your post as I am in pretty much the same game, with my A, active, for the moment, I think a week or 10 days he has not drank. He is to vain, to gain weight, so if that works for him, more power. The idea struck me that I as you do, wanted him to leave to go out, believe me, that was the best most tranquil moments, in our home. Frankly, I always hoped that somehow or something would catch him- dui,, anything ,,, somehow it did not "YET", so he thinks he has it under control, but it is the other way around!. the drink, has HIM under it's control. Funny thing is that he is now a dry drunk.... even though he does not stink of drink, boy his behaviors, sure do they're same. I almost wish, that if he doesnt get a program, that he go back to drinking, then, at least I know what to expect.... just joking, but boy my mind plays games with me. My prayers have been answered, by ME getting the help I need, maybe one day he will find his way, until then, I will just keep on minding my own beeswax, and work on me.
Thanks for the replies. I ALWAYS love hearing from all of you.
My A is home today, sick as can be, not only is he a heavy drinker, but a heavy smoker. This is the 4th time in six months that he has had trouble breathing. He was in the emergency room & hospital two of the times...but as soon as he gets somewhat better, he is right back to the bar drinking and smoking again. Don't you think he would put 2 & 2 together. And, of course, he expects me to be by his side nurturing him back to health, which I am because I would feel terrible if he stopped breathing, and I had done nothing to help him.
Oh, how I wish his HP would intervene, but I guess he has to ask to receive. My love to all of you; you are in my prayers. Annie
I'm just a newbie my hubby is a heavy smoker as well as having the drink thing. I too worry and fuss when he is coughing and spluttering and having trouble breathing (Hes only 39)
You sound like such a compassionate caring person, he should feel so lucky to have you!
Annie