The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Kerry, So sory for you. This must have been an awful day beyond what we can even immagine for you. My heart does really go out to you. Your last post sounded like you were not going to come back here and it gave me tears in my eyes. I hope that you can come back and keep comming back and i hope that you do find some comfort from the friends that you have here. We are your friends don't forget that. We care about you!!
Well i did think about leaving. I know my dad will follow my mother he almost passed out today he needs medical attention that he wont get. He almost passed out a month ago to and my parents didnt tell me. Yesturday I told my dad and my sister about my mother dying and my father was upset, then i get to the hospital and my mom tells us that they are going to fix her and she could live 15 years when the doctor told me she didnt have long. So i wen t to the doctor and she told me shes not allowed to talk to me without my mom present that my mother said that. So then i told her she better explain it properly to my mom cause shes not understanding. The doctor told me that she is a cancer patient and in denial. I told her she needed to talk to my mom again fast.
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Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
(((((((((Kerry))))))))) It is a very difficult thing to watch your parent dying... I know. I too am sorry that one doctor was so rude and callous to just wave you off. I lost my father to cancer on July 10, 1999. We only found out he had cancer 2 weeks previous to that when he was taken to the hospital when his legs gave out on him. It was all very sudden, very quick. I wasn't able to get to the hospital until July 7 - thank goodness he was still aware enough that I was able to talk with him.
I have to say this, and I don't mean it to sound bad in any way, please don't take it so...but why must your mom be made to understand that the docs can't fix/cure her? Why can't she be allowed to live her remaining days in her "denial", which just might be the only thing keeping her positive and hopeful for a future? Why take her hope away? Miracles have happened because of people's strong desire/hope/faith. My father stayed alive days longer than anyone expected, long enough for all us family members to get to his bedside. The nurses and doctors were all amazed at his strength of will to keep himself alive.
I understand the anger we can feel when something like this happens. I know I asked the nurses and my mom "isn't there something, anything, that can be done?" I didn't want to accept it. And it didn't help knowing that if dad had only gone to the doctor early enough, his cancer was a treatable kind in the early stages. By the time his legs gave out on him, it had spread throughout his body. Too late then. It doesn't help to dwell on what could have been, should have been, might have been. That just makes us miserable. I wrote a poem after he died, and the refrain in the poem was "All I want, is one last hug." Of course, a hug at the time would have hurt him - the slightest touch hurt him by then. Sadness, anger, grief.....
Keep coming back ((((((kerry)))))...I CAN hug you. We all need hugs.
Luv, Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
