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Post Info TOPIC: CRAZY LOVE


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 539
Date:
CRAZY LOVE


Even when codependents recognize the problem for what it is,,, they often make the mistake of trying to control their partners consumption----- the amount the alcoholic drinks or uses--while fighting desperately to keep the bottom from falling out from under the family.


They may count drinks, water whiskey, pour it out. They may hide a stash or flush pills down the toilet.


All that usually succeeds in doing is to drive the drinking or drug use underground.


Then they can only guess about the extent of the actual use. And since chemical dependency tends toward increasing levels of use, a dependent persons behaviour often becomes less predictable and more unrealiable.


The result? The web of stress and unhappiness their partners live inside gets tighter all the time.


If you need proof try juggling a partners dysfunctional moods and demands with one hand, while balancing an overdrawn chequebook, bewildered friends and angry family, and one's own anxiety and depression with the other.


Perhaps the worst feeling of all is the guilty fear that maybe the dependent partner wouldnt drink or use so much if he or she was a better partner, better lover, better person, better at everything.


Of course, thats crazy. But thats often the way it is.


Hope this helps,,,,,,,,,gardengal



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gardengal
cdb


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1197
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Hello gardengal,


Oh yes, this post did help! Even though my daughter in inpatient now, the fact is she will probably have relapses when she gets out. Not only that but she will be 21 in June! Yikes! So, I needed to hear what you just posted because drinking or not drinking will still be her choice and the last thing I want to do is to drive her disease underground. I have learned so much here on the message board! cdb



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1161
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Perhaps the worst feeling of all is the guilty fear that maybe the dependent partner wouldnt drink or use so much if he or she was a better partner, better lover, better person, better at everything.


 


 


Of course, thats crazy. But thats often the way it is.


 


 


Hope this helps


Yes, this helps. For a long long time I just felt if I created the perfect home environment did EVERYTHING (shopping,cooking,cleaning, earning the housegold money) that things would get better.


If there was no stress on my A he would not need to drink.


Through the help of alanon and many posters on here I have found this isn't so.


I accept that I am powerless over alcohol and the alocholic.


he invents problems it seems to rationalize his drinking (to himself) but I try to ignore it and go on with my life



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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done


Senior Member

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Posts: 281
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Love, for me, is not just a word to be said as in, "I am in love with you". Love is good wonderful action. What you have described does not sound like Love to me. The idea of "Crazy Love" is just not a real thing. True Love is not crazy. The word 'love' is so misused, I believe.


Hugs & Luv,




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