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my path, my choice
(Preview)
I’ve let this disease that belongs to another consume me
Accepting impending doom; till I could no longer see
I have fed it, fought it, and let it lead
I have forgotten who I am, & what it is I need
I’ve chosen an endless path with no light
I’ve given it my all from day to night
I am not winnin...
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babs
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8
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843
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A big article re: FEAR
(Preview)
Fear and focus by Chris Joosse
Books to read:
'The Fear Book', by Cheri Huber
Its a common ground that we all share and often joke about, but don't always discuss seriously. We kind of have a tradition of 'bucking up' and 'persisting through it' as a way to deal with fear in order to...
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Phil
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3
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1464
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boundary paper
(Preview)
This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well.
Crosstalk and Boun...
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Lucy_A
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2
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1090
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Taking things One Day at a Time
(Preview)
I am living my life in the now. I am not making any plans for tomorrow, except I know I go to work and then go to my meeting. My A took his assessment, paid his $100.00 and will meet with them on Monday's and Thursday's 6-8pm. He has a list of employers to go to tomorrow and says he will have a high paying job this...
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debalina36
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6
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1028
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My Mip Experience
(Preview)
I was in mip in 2000 for two years. I left cause i was going through to much with a divorce at the time and i didnt know how to handle some things. I am a very intense person, i was angry at some people i thought that abandoned me. I was an op in Alanonchat, acoa c...
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kerry5
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7
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906
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looking for a sponser
(Preview)
Hi all I am looking for a sponser who can help me begin working the steps and just lend a hand if I get off track, I really do not know to go about asking for one, so any input you can please give. Yes I am the lost puppy! LOL I need to find myself and I am not sure how since I have been not knowing me for so long, well,...
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cloud
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4
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1064
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Re: Meeting Etiquette Post
(Preview)
After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify.
No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...
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kismetstrand
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3
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1326
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Some of My Favorities
(Preview)
Here are some of my favorites that i recieved the first year i was in alanon hope you enjoy.
If I Continue....
IF i continue to see things the way i have always seen things,
I will continue to think the way i have always thought.
If i continue to think the way i have always thought,
I will continue...
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kerry5
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5
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768
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Funny, odd funny... / my cats...
(Preview)
…my cats, I think about four years of age, so dislike being held huggy like, but much so crave it. And, I do hug them strongly, with locked hold but not squeezing and not locking to ‘keep’ them but a letting go hug… go as they will and ever so slowly do… funny thing about love, well maybe it ain’t so strange, j...
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richard
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5
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950
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cdb
(Preview)
Just wanted to thank you for always responding to messages. I feel you as being a real part of this alanon room here. You have hung in there thru hard stuff. I am so glad.
Please update us how your daughter is, and how are you doing?? love,debilyn
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debilyn
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4
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947
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jj reminded me --/ my son....
(Preview)
JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...
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richard
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4
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914
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funny little tid bit
(Preview)
So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference.
So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...
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jj
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1
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833
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step 2 explained
(Preview)
Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon)
Hope this helps others
Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...
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jj
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0
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742
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People Pleasing
(Preview)
Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits
I must be liked by everyone.
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Phil
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4
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1267
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Struggling with Resentments
(Preview)
Dear Friends, I've been coming into the chat/meeting room for about five years now, but this is the first time I have posted on the Message Board. I've made so many friends in the room who have given so much support on many occasions. And I'm reaching out again tonight.
I thought I...
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she123
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8
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1139
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A share re ACOA Characteristics
(Preview)
1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...
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Phil
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2
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924
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When you feel unsupported....
(Preview)
I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...
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kerry5
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9
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1014
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update to disease progression
(Preview)
I don't feel much still. Just serene and I go on, move forward.
A fixed what was needed on my rental. I saw no heart, not even a black one at first. He was ok but in two days I saw how the disease has progressed.
I have a pot bellied pig named Luster who loves me. He is a guard pig when it comes to me. He hat...
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debilyn
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17
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2318
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Rules and traditions
(Preview)
I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...
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Smeep61
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5
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1399
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DETACHMENT-REMINDERS
(Preview)
Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...
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gardengal
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5
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817
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Thinking
(Preview)
"A mob has many heads, but no brain. " Shankara
Recent research has led brain specialists to understand that the human mind works less like a computer than a town meeting. kpparently there are many inputs offering different responses to the issues that confront us.&nb...
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wallsal55
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3
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960
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Mr Mom the Mess
(Preview)
Hey all
Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years...
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Mark S
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7
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972
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12 steps explained
(Preview)
this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted.
Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ
Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...
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jj
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1
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4480
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Anyone wanna read my poem
(Preview)
Just a wee poem I wrote the other day dont know how good my poem writing skills are so laugh if you want to - Background to understand poem is that the city I live in has an east coast - white sandy beaches and an hour away a west coast (The Manukau) with black sand beaches pronounc...
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Ava
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6
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1288
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Meeting Etiquette
(Preview)
I don't know if this is a recent upsurge of certain things happening, or if I just didn't notice it before. At any rate, since we have a lot of newcomers and others who are not able to attend face to face meetings, I just thought I would mention a few things. My humble opinion here. Take...
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kismetstrand
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20
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5728
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Road of Self discovery
(Preview)
So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...
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jj
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4
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761
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understanding the steps
(Preview)
has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me?
JJ
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jj
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2
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1014
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expectations
(Preview)
I find that my expectations get me in so much trouble. When the a goes through a good spell, doesn't drink much if at all, or whatever, I expect for things to continue like that. If he is on a binge, my expectations are similar, as in things will never change, etc etc. And I get disappoi...
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cah
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10
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1110
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Newbie here
(Preview)
Hello, I am new here. I am seeking Alanon support because my husband of 2 years has returned to drinking after 17 years being sober. OUCH!!!
Here is my story.
My husband and I met in AA in 2002. We married in 2003. He was the chair of the meetings and we went on a regular basis...
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Mamaklop
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9
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1090
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intervention & gratitiude
(Preview)
Well it is so good 2 b back-was skiing up north 4 a week with both healthy and unhealthy family members and I need to be coming herre and to meetings.
some thoughts on ealrier meeting: I heard others sharing at meeting and I could relate to both gratitiude and to someone...
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luv123
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2
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731
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Taking Others Inventory
(Preview)
There have been several times when I have found myself getting annoyed by something someone might have said, or being drawn into a difference that two (or more) people are having amongst themself. I realized the other day that I was doing the same thing I did with my sister and my mom, trying to be...
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kismetstrand
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6
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1230
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just a blab
(Preview)
I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her.
A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me.
It i...
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debilyn
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5
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912
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what should I do?
(Preview)
My "a" called at 4pm, said he'd be home in 1 1/2 hours. Ok, as usual I made dinner for my kids, a placemat was placed on the table for the "a" by my youngest child. And not to my surprise, no "a". After reading you posts, I do not call to see where he is, its his problem, but... the youngest wants to know when he's...
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cant stand it
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12
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1169
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Rich and His family
(Preview)
I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions.
His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...
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esoro2004
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4
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934
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JOHN,,,,Emailed you/ need reply
(Preview)
Hello John,
I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb
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cdb
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4
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970
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Made a break through
(Preview)
Monday night my A and I made a break through. I've been reading my ODAT book and pasting little sayings around the house to remind myself how to react when things got tough.
Well, it all started with me asking him for a separation for a while. I told him I still loved him but didn't like who he becomes when...
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debalina36
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4
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946
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OP/JOHN & ALL, A solution to the problem..
(Preview)
Hello fellow members,
I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work.
For years I h...
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cdb
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7
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1018
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getting questions answered
(Preview)
Hi everyone-
I am really just looking for some voices of experience to give me a bit of advice. It is hard to find answers sometimes (I do appreciate the wisdom of the slogans though)
My H is a pot smoker who uses A as a supplement when the marijuana is not enough. lovely.He has been in counselling the p...
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gknee
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7
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1160
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Jellinek Charts
(Preview)
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. To understand the progression of the disease in the alcoholic (and in us alanoners, too! We follow the same curve into despair and destruction) www.songdove.com/jellinek.htm www.addictionz.com/ch...
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wallsal55
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3
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2983
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Forgiveness
(Preview)
Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...
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Phil
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2
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802
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Ignoring other members
(Preview)
Hello fellow members,
We don't come here because we are happy or painfree. We came here for the opposite reason. We all need support and undestanding. That is why it is important for all of us to show compassion for others even though we have our own differences. Personal...
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cdb
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10
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1212
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new 2 board
(Preview)
Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...
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cant stand it
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3
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1005
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Ignoring other members
(Preview)
Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...
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cdb
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0
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1025
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thanks to all
(Preview)
To all:
At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...
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babs
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3
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1031
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Thank you all :)
(Preview)
Your replies helped me very much.
I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too.
It s...
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catherine
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1
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837
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Free Al-Anon Speaker Tapes
(Preview)
http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=16
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John
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0
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3613
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Rich and Recovery
(Preview)
My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he l...
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esoro2004
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4
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1012
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the things kids say
(Preview)
On a lighter note to cheer up some of us.
Tonight my daughter was talking to her grandpa on the phone he was asking her what she had for supper, having trouble saying spaghetti she "uuuggg hold on I will show you grandpa" proceeds to the kitchen and shows the phone to the left over spaghetti on the stove....
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jj
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5
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959
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Prayers needed..please
(Preview)
Hello alanon friends,
First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...
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cdb
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9
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1058
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Sometimes Help Doesn't Help
(Preview)
When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not.
Sometimes he...
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wallsal55
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6
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1081
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Unconditional Love
(Preview)
Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."
Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...
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Phil
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3
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1028
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The Daffodil Principle
(Preview)
I was given this by an alanon friend early in my program, it really helped me to understand ........ One Day At A Time
THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-...
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greta
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8
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1109
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there is hope!!
(Preview)
Hi ,
I only posted a few times, 2.5 months ago when my husband was drinking 22 beers a night and I really didn't know what was going to happen to us. I just wanted to let you know there is hope!!!!!!! After years of drinking he finally hit rock bottom and has not had a drink for 2.5 months. For y...
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gabriella
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5
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1056
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I'm a mess.
(Preview)
Just got over a week's visit with my A & we drank together. I really don't feel guilty about MY drinking as it calmed my nerves so I was able stay calm around his behaviour, but now I have to deal with my own alcoholism.
I haven't had a drink since Saturday---two days sober, yet again.&...
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catherine
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4
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1178
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Looking for some support
(Preview)
My A boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's been sober and attending AA on a regular basis for 2 years on March 2nd. We've had a lot of problems, mainly because we're so similar. We've been trying the last 2 months to fix our relationship and make it work.&nb...
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Angel_23
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5
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1187
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haximon.....
(Preview)
Hi,
thanks for your response to who a sponser should be! What did you mean about getting it in writing?
Thanks to all who also respond, also.
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babs
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0
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803
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my spouse smokes pot;need advice asap!!!
(Preview)
I recently told my husband that I wanted him to stop smoking pot or I would get a divorce. We have a 17 month old son and I don't want the drugs around him... Shouldn't my husband want our son to be drug free? I feel that if he cares about right and wrong he would stop but he is very stubborn...
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Orchid
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5
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1168
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Expectations Too High?
(Preview)
I've been best friends with this girl for the past two years. Last summer, we were out playing pool and met two men. After we finished playing, we decided to leave. I was walking out the door when I heard one of the men ask for her or my number. She said that we were not interested and walked out. We got into my...
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kissers
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5
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936
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3 day Sobriety ended
(Preview)
Well, the 3 day's of no drink ended today. He just bought a beer. Just one. He doesn't have any money and I won't give him any for beer.
I noticed in my last posting of "last Night" that the last 2 people think I have a 2 year old daughter. Wrong. I only have a 12 year old stepdaughter and she doesn't live with...
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debalina36
|
5
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1198
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Letting Go of Those Not In Recovery
(Preview)
I got an email from John asking for some assistance with the message board and thought "what do I have to offer?" Then I overslept this morning and missed by F2F and remembered the seed that John planted :) and thought well I can go the message board this morning for my "meeting." Tha...
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Maria123
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5
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1163
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