Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

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Post Info TOPIC: Ignoring other members

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1197
Ignoring other members

Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying to do laundry or other tasks. That is what gives us a sense of freedom to be online in the chatroom for a long time. I do try to be friendly to everyone because we are all in the same boat and do need support and understanding. We also need to joke around and have fun in the room too. But as in life,,,there is a delicate balance when it comes to people that are in crisis or pain and need to talk and be understood. As caring people we need to listen at that time if possible, especially when someone comes in and says how they thought about committing suicide earlier! That is when the old timers are so needed to chat with them and the OPs too because some of us aren't experienced enough to know the alanon rules or talk to help the way the room was set up for. Sure it may be fun to sing back and forth with songs, but do try to be aware when someone needs to talk and maybe needs the rooms full attention. Singing and joking can come afterwards. I know now that Fridays are fish night but I had to figure that out on my own about Fridays.

We also have so many different personalities and personalities can clash. Yet as a community we need to be adults and still be considerate at times and not seem to totally ignore someone just because we do not want to talk to them. Lets be adults here and at least give one hug a day or one hi a day to as many as you can and not only a chosen few. Do not make excuses to others or yourselves about not being in the room or multitasking all the time. Consitant ignores over time become known and seen by more that one person. Try to be a team player and be compassionate to all.

If this is not possible, than I hope each of us can try to work on this. I am not talking about everytime you see someone. I am talking about a pattern that some may have going on that others can see. Real or not, only each person can answer that for his or herself. Please help each of us to feel understood and important as we struggle with the 12 steps. cdb

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