Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Throwing Out the Rule Book Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.We don't trust life or ourselves.We don't trust the Plan.We want to be in c...

marmare · marmare

You guys are the best! I was almost afraid to post, my friends and family have been supportive with me, and you all have been there. I was afraid of the negative, but you all have come through once again giving me examples of living with an active A. My expectations are realistic.&nb...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing. --Catherine Ponder We are in constant communication with one another and with God in the spiritual realm. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is...

hudsond · hudsond

Last week was a good week. After his last high (Friday a week ago), I tried to stay very calm. I cried, he cried. But I told him how I felt and what I wanted from our relationship. I told him I am not calling it quits, but there will come a time if things continue the way they are that I will have to l...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 18 The guidance embodied in the Serenity Prayer was a foreign concept when I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting. I soon realized it must be important because every meeting I attended since has used it as part of the opening. Applying it to my recovery seem...

tullemars · tullemars

I am good Today. Thank You all for your kind words. This has been the toughest road I have ever traveled. But, I am at the top of the mountain. I am going to enjoy the ride down. I know now why it is so tough to let the A go with love. That is the only way you can truly help your A. If you love you...

tullemars · tullemars

Two weeks ago my A was forced to leave the home. I am OK now. I have had some negative pople trying to manipulate my kids. They are gone now. My A wants to come home. I said not yet. I am getting stronger and I am not going to tolerate any negative behavior. Thank You all for being here. I am ve...

captcodee · captcodee

Many people have PM'd me to tell me how serene I sound. Well, I just want you to know that I have my moments too. Today I called in sick to work. For no reason, just because I didn't want to go to work. 10 minutes after I phoned in, I got a call from the lady that is renting my old property. The big kitche...

hadit · hadit

Hello everyone, it's me again. Do you all know that I feel like such a pain when I write with my problems, havent figured that out yet, hopefully soon though. Well, here it is, the begining of another week and I am still miserable without me A. I would really appreciate some input from any or even...

princess433 · princess433

look at this tear as it falls from my face... can you see all the pain, all the discrace... have you ever wondered what you have done to me.... you have taken so much yet gave back nothing... i can never forgive you for all that you've done..... the wounds will never heal, the scars will never fa...

pixel04 · pixel04

I looked up the word "humble" today, because I've become aware over the past few days it is something I feel I have been lacking a bit in. This is what I found: 1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission Somet...

sunny1 · sunny1

Hi all again, okay so i guess i need to look for my sponsor on my own, but i would like afew words of wisdom. I know that finding one is not as easy as some might say or lead you to believe. pls anyone......just talk to me.....lol no really, im just want to move out side of the chatroom abit and share one o...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Surrender "We didn't stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness....When we were beaten, we became willing.""Basic Text, p. 20Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some c...

WakingUp · WakingUp

Hi Everyone, and thank you in advance. I'm a newbie, been in Al Anon about 2 months. I know y'all don't give advice, but you can...tell me about your own experience?...talk about Al Anon principles? Anyway, here is my current confusion. The primary alcoholic qua...

marmare · marmare

So after a total of 10 hours of conversations and compromises my A is back home. He says that he will drink occasionally (the controlled drinker) and I know that is something I can not control. However, I had an internal battle that I had to fight. We talked Friday and then again Satu...

captcodee · captcodee

We all come to Alanon because our lives have been affected by the disease of alcoholism. Many of us enter these doors feeling defeated by theis desease. We may have spent our energies trying to get an active alcoholic to stop drinking or otherwize control his or her actions; we may have spent much of our...

Angie · Angie

I think my title says it all. I have been working my program for almost 2 years now - and have grown tremendously. Lately I have been learning about 'boundries' . For so long I have been waffling between what is mine, what is his, and what is a wife's duty. All I know is that this awful sick feeling is not norm...

debilyn · debilyn

Well I guess I have gotten when I want to be. Just thought I would share. My A and i have been thru years of getting our relationship as good as it can be with him having this horrible disease. My part has been Al anon untilit has been a way of life. Also my closeness with hp is most important. ...

browneyes · browneyes

My husband was awake of course this morning when I knocked on the locked bedroom door. He screamed YEAH!!! WHAT THE F??? HOLD ON!!! Not a good start but I didn't reply. I just wanted to get my toothbrush. Anyway, he opened the door and told me that I needed to take him to work bec...

sandie123 · sandie123

sadness n. Expression of sorrow or unhappiness. Who doesn't feel sadness? There is a time where everyone feels sad for one reason or another. Some people feel sad more than others. I have gone through many times of feeling complete sadness ... depression. That is definately a lot ha...

Kim · Kim

Yesterday was a good day. A good Sunday for once! I had vowed after spending last Sunday crouched in my car watching to see whether or not my A was where he said he was that this week would be better. And I kept my word to myself! Did some shopping, made dinner for friends, watched desperate housewiv...

nycbt · nycbt

I am adopted child. I grew up in a house with no other child. My mom had three sons from her first marriage. I have a real brother and sister. My brother lives in Calf and we don't talk much. But my sister lives close to me but I really don't talk to her. I am going to make an effort to talk to her more. She doesn't...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Being Honest with Ourselves Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.Whe...

toto12 · toto12

Dear All, Beth and I have decided to share our story. I will post my half and Beth will do her part in separate post. Here goes a remarkable story: I happened to be in chatroom when Beth shared about worrying she might become estranged from her grandkids. This was at about 17:00 o...

nycbt · nycbt

I am working really hard into getting into shap. I have been doing situps every other day. I been walking. I have asked my friend to help me get in too shape. I am not fat I just want to get into better shape. I have learn the will power from Alanon to make myself feel better. To take care of myself.

Christy · Christy

I'm probably on a bit of a different path then most spiritually, but I think what this has to say (link below) is well worth the bit of time it takes to read and something that all of us can find useful. This article talks about what negative energy does to us and the universe and what we can do to change it. ...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

Thank you all for your support in my post below. After my post last night, about my A family, I received a crazy phone call from my A. Just what I needed, huh? It’s been one hell of a weekend emotionally, but won’t drink. I used to drink when I was bored, now I know why, I got used to the chaos...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi All, Well here in New Jersey we have had eight days of driving rain. Pretty dreary until today. Since it was so dry all summer, everything around my house was dead or burnt looking. All week as I drove my bus in the slops, I kept saying well, I seeded my lawn a few weeks ago, at least it is getting a really...

marmare · marmare

I read about acceptance this morning. This is a hard one for me, maybe because I am the baby of the family, maybe because of co-dependent issues, maybe just because I am who I am. When it comes right down to it though, I have to accept things I can not change. My cat that ranaway has not c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Good morning to all of you!

After reading Jeannie's post, I got to thinking about laying blame on others. You know, "everything's your fault, not mine.." Well I decided that for this weekend, and this weekend only all of you out there have a 1 time, limited opportunity, special offer (d...

marmare · marmare

I love you guys! I talked to my A on the way home from work. I called him, I am missing him so much, and Yes Candianguy, after the conversation you were right, seeing things through rose colored glasses. LOL The conversation had some rough spots in it. He said he was goin...

hadit · hadit

Hi everyone, it's me again. Usually I write posts here about how mad my "a" makes me, how he doesn't keep his word, etc, etc. Tonight I just want you all to know that I am really miserable not seeing him, not hearing his voice, not having him to hug. I really miss him so much. I have days that a...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

help me i am slipping so much right now and i dont know what to do. i have so much intense fear. my a admitted that he doesnt think he can stay sober and he will drink again. he said he wont get help. so what do i do with this? it's his choice and i cant do anything about it. i am so hurt and scared right now. scared b...

nycbt · nycbt

On Saturday I help out my job they had a fundraiser. After that I got together with my friend and we did some walking. I am trying to get in shape. I want to lose some weight. My friend is going to be like my personal trainer. After that I called my husband to see if him and his grown son were done working. He tol...

marmare · marmare

Two calls were like reasons to call and ask if I made it to the dump okay etc.....then when my A called tonight and asked...are you ready?...."what is it that you want?" I told him that we had talked on Monday and was not going to go through it all again. That for years I am repeating what my nee...

sg · sg

We found out a few days ago that my hubby will be going out of state to work (he's in construction). Anyways, looks like he will be leaving on Sunday. Saturday I had plans for quite awhile to go to a concert w/13 other people including a limo (all expenses paid). Once I found out he may be leaving on Sunday, I...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Hello all I am not hiding, just stuck in the land of dial up internet service and little or no cellphone service. Should be home this weekend. Having a successful visit fundraising for my friend! josey

Kim · Kim

Hello Roomies: Last night my A took me out for dinner and a movie. The movie we chose was "Two for the Money" with Al Pacino, Rene Russo and Matthew McCoughney. It was a movie about Sports betting (my A's gambling addiction) and Al Pacino and Rene Russo play a married couple in re...

Boundaries with Non-A Family Members · Ratchie

It's Saturday nite, been a pretty good week everything considered. I rec'd a call from my sister tonite who was "concerned" about me. What her phone call ended up being was her telling me that I need to see a lawyer, protect my own interests, etc. since my husband moved out two wee...

sandie123 · sandie123

This is in regards to Emmies post on fear. Thank you again for the post on fear. I had one other thought that I wanted to share. One part that really impacted me on your post was the definition. Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of da...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

History provides abundant examples of . . . women whose greatest gift was in redeeming, inspiring, liberating, and nurturing the gifts of others. --Sonya Rudikoff Part of our calling as members of the human community is to unconditionally love and support the people emotionally close to us. W...

RDP2976 · RDP2976

Hi everyone I just want to say hi. I haven't been here for a while I've been trying to go to school to get my GED. I have been to two meetings to. See my A husband had to go out of town last Wednesday the 6th and Thursday the 7th so I got to go it was grate. I hate to say this but whe...

sunny1 · sunny1

Hi my name is Yvette...aka Sunny1 online. Im a greatful new alanon member. I have been in the program since may and online since sept. I have enjoyed chatting with all the members. I have related to alot of you and others have helped to guide me when I am struggling. I have a f2f sp...

she123 · she123

I'm exhausted. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. As many of you know, for the past three years I have cared for my husband as he underwent surgery then on to palliative care for cancer. It's been a long and difficult road. For the past fiv...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies, I was having dinner the other night with friends. A question arose and we were all stumped by it. We all know that people who haven't been through this can come up with some interesting pespectives to say the least. One of my friends has choosen to live with an active A. Another frien...

search41 · search41

Hi folks! I got such helpful support and input two weeks ago when i wrote about my a gambling all his money away and begging me to loan him money, so i wanted to let you all know how it panned out. I did end up loaning him $50. not the $100 he was asking for. i had to at least loan h...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

Just got back from a family visit with my sister & her family. I went with my folks, Dad is a recovering A over 10 years, Mom, well, let’s just say Mom feels sorry for herself A LOT. Well, after driving over an hour in the backseat with Mom & Dad in front (I felt like I was n...

leo · leo

I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut here. Today was meant to be my first meeting with a D/A counsellor visiting my town. He was to ring upon arrival into town to set up a time. I can only assume something cropped up in his base town which is approx 400kms from here. I was...

nycbt · nycbt

Yesterday I went to an alanon meeting so I had the car. I had a really good meeting. Got home and his grown son told me that my husband was gone for over and hour and that he didn't have his cell phone. Well I was a little upset because I knew I couldn't call him. But I said to my self there is nothing I can d...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

We know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth! --Maxie Dunham We do not need to create difficulties and pain in our lives. They come with the package of human existence. Some of us even feel bewildered when we aren't pressed by trouble. As we grew in...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Just read "The Precious Present" by Spencer Johnson MD. Delightful and a simple 15 - 20 minute read. [Puts a lot into perspective if you've been in alanon a short time. Or looking at Step 4. Or looking at Steps 4-9. Or have be...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Choices "We did not choose to become addicts."Basic Text p. 3When we were growing up, all of us had dreams. Every child has heard a relative or neighbor ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Even if some of us didn't have elaborate dreams of success, most of us dreamed of work, families, and a...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Hi friends: Recently I looked up the word fear in the dictionary and was surprised to find this definition: Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of danger. Interesting. My alarm and agitation can be just as debilitating and disruptive to...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, A friend of my son has kept his car here for several months now. He has been working out of state, and gave up his apartment. He had no where to leave his car, so my son has kept it until he can come get it. It is registered and insured in the boys name. We turn it on every few days and have permission...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. --Jacqueline Bisset How common it is for us to be overly concerned with our looks. The culture encourages it through our families, our friends, and the media. Many of us anguished over our looks in years past, and the pain o...

megan · megan

Hello board I will be unable to chair this Sunday evenings meeting. I am in Palm Springs,CA on business. Sunday is our buffer day. If work is going badly we work. If it is going well we do R&R. People on here have suggested the tram. It may rain. Any suggestions for Palm springs in th...

gardengal · gardengal

The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe anothers slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone "not guilty". I think of forgiveness as scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem...

gknee · gknee

Tonight my husband is going to his friend's house to play guitar. The last time he went to this friend's house, he ended up high and drunk, went to a gay bar and got his car stolen. (now do you see why I'm a bit freaked out?) He has not used marijuana for the past 6 weeks and has been really doing fantastic. W...

UncleLou · UncleLou

I know anger and resentment are discussed alot by those of us effected by alcoholism. I never gave much thought to this kind of stuff before I got sober. For myself, it really helps to differentiate between resentment and anger. We alcoholics are supposed to avoid anger, it can literally kill us. I don...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

CAN I GET SOME SUPPORT PLEASE????? this past two days, i had a wonderful visit from my OLD babysitter, i mean my first 11 years of life i was very close to him....we stayed in touch, kinda *hit and miss*....but always kinda in each others thoughts.... he was driving back to calif. (his home now) fr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	i "trashed" the rule book (Preview) Throwing Out the Rule Book Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.We don't trust life or ourselves.We don't trust the Plan.We want to be in c...	rosie light shines	0	506	Oct 18, 2005 by rosie light shines
	The Best (Preview) You guys are the best! I was almost afraid to post, my friends and family have been supportive with me, and you all have been there. I was afraid of the negative, but you all have come through once again giving me examples of living with an active A. My expectations are realistic.&nb...	marmare	3	574	Oct 18, 2005 by browneyes
	no, i am NOT my brothers keeper (Preview) *When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing. --Catherine Ponder* We are in constant communication with one another and with God in the spiritual realm. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is...	rosie light shines	0	628	Oct 18, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Good Week (Preview) Last week was a good week. After his last high (Friday a week ago), I tried to stay very calm. I cried, he cried. But I told him how I felt and what I wanted from our relationship. I told him I am not calling it quits, but there will come a time if things continue the way they are that I will have to l...	hudsond	4	569	Oct 18, 2005 by hudsond
	serenity prayer....INDUSTRIAL strength (Preview) Hope for Today - October 18 The guidance embodied in the Serenity Prayer was a foreign concept when I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting. I soon realized it must be important because every meeting I attended since has used it as part of the opening. Applying it to my recovery seem...	rosie light shines	0	491	Oct 18, 2005 by rosie light shines
	I am OK part 2 (Preview) I am good Today. Thank You all for your kind words. This has been the toughest road I have ever traveled. But, I am at the top of the mountain. I am going to enjoy the ride down. I know now why it is so tough to let the A go with love. That is the only way you can truly help your A. If you love you...	tullemars	0	539	Oct 18, 2005 by tullemars
	I am OK (Preview) Two weeks ago my A was forced to leave the home. I am OK now. I have had some negative pople trying to manipulate my kids. They are gone now. My A wants to come home. I said not yet. I am getting stronger and I am not going to tolerate any negative behavior. Thank You all for being here. I am ve...	tullemars	6	589	Oct 18, 2005 by Diva
	I am not as serene as you think... (Preview) Many people have PM'd me to tell me how serene I sound. Well, I just want you to know that I have my moments too. Today I called in sick to work. For no reason, just because I didn't want to go to work. 10 minutes after I phoned in, I got a call from the lady that is renting my old property. The big kitche...	captcodee	6	602	Oct 18, 2005 by Diva
	Needed: Advice & Strength (Preview) Hello everyone, it's me again. Do you all know that I feel like such a pain when I write with my problems, havent figured that out yet, hopefully soon though. Well, here it is, the begining of another week and I am still miserable without me A. I would really appreciate some input from any or even...	hadit	8	849	Oct 18, 2005 by Diva
	My poem (Preview) look at this tear as it falls from my face... can you see all the pain, all the discrace... have you ever wondered what you have done to me.... you have taken so much yet gave back nothing... i can never forgive you for all that you've done..... the wounds will never heal, the scars will never fa...	princess433	5	558	Oct 18, 2005 by leo
	humility (Preview) I looked up the word "humble" today, because I've become aware over the past few days it is something I feel I have been lacking a bit in. This is what I found: 1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive 2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission Somet...	pixel04	2	584	Oct 18, 2005 by david62
	2nd post sponsorship (Preview) Hi all again, okay so i guess i need to look for my sponsor on my own, but i would like afew words of wisdom. I know that finding one is not as easy as some might say or lead you to believe. pls anyone......just talk to me.....lol no really, im just want to move out side of the chatroom abit and share one o...	sunny1	6	575	Oct 17, 2005 by sunny1
	i QUIT fighting it (Preview) Surrender "We didn't stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness....When we were beaten, we became willing.""Basic Text, p. 20Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some c...	rosie light shines	1	547	Oct 17, 2005 by kitty
	First Post--Having Trouble Untangling (long) (Preview) Hi Everyone, and thank you in advance. I'm a newbie, been in Al Anon about 2 months. I know y'all don't give advice, but you can...tell me about your own experience?...talk about Al Anon principles? Anyway, here is my current confusion. The primary alcoholic qua...	WakingUp	6	751	Oct 17, 2005 by Lanchas
	He's home... (Preview) So after a total of 10 hours of conversations and compromises my A is back home. He says that he will drink occasionally (the controlled drinker) and I know that is something I can not control. However, I had an internal battle that I had to fight. We talked Friday and then again Satu...	marmare	7	718	Oct 17, 2005 by lin0606
	Why we came to Alanon (Preview) We all come to Alanon because our lives have been affected by the disease of alcoholism. Many of us enter these doors feeling defeated by theis desease. We may have spent our energies trying to get an active alcoholic to stop drinking or otherwize control his or her actions; we may have spent much of our...	captcodee	6	623	Oct 17, 2005 by Maria123
	How do I know when enough is enough? (Preview) I think my title says it all. I have been working my program for almost 2 years now - and have grown tremendously. Lately I have been learning about 'boundries' . For so long I have been waffling between what is mine, what is his, and what is a wife's duty. All I know is that this awful sick feeling is not norm...	Angie	7	1244	Oct 17, 2005 by Karilynn
	My heart speaks out (Preview) Well I guess I have gotten when I want to be. Just thought I would share. My A and i have been thru years of getting our relationship as good as it can be with him having this horrible disease. My part has been Al anon untilit has been a way of life. Also my closeness with hp is most important. ...	debilyn	5	714	Oct 17, 2005 by debilyn
	Of course I need to VENT (Preview) My husband was awake of course this morning when I knocked on the locked bedroom door. He screamed YEAH!!! WHAT THE F??? HOLD ON!!! Not a good start but I didn't reply. I just wanted to get my toothbrush. Anyway, he opened the door and told me that I needed to take him to work bec...	browneyes	5	689	Oct 17, 2005 by browneyes
	Sadness (Preview) sadness n. Expression of sorrow or unhappiness. Who doesn't feel sadness? There is a time where everyone feels sad for one reason or another. Some people feel sad more than others. I have gone through many times of feeling complete sadness ... depression. That is definately a lot ha...	sandie123	4	646	Oct 17, 2005 by pixel04
	Sunday and I need some advice (Preview) Yesterday was a good day. A good Sunday for once! I had vowed after spending last Sunday crouched in my car watching to see whether or not my A was where he said he was that this week would be better. And I kept my word to myself! Did some shopping, made dinner for friends, watched desperate housewiv...	Kim	5	611	Oct 17, 2005 by captcodee
	FAMILY (Preview) I am adopted child. I grew up in a house with no other child. My mom had three sons from her first marriage. I have a real brother and sister. My brother lives in Calf and we don't talk much. But my sister lives close to me but I really don't talk to her. I am going to make an effort to talk to her more. She doesn't...	nycbt	0	525	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	for the FIRST time..honesty with me (Preview) Being Honest with Ourselves Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.Whe...	rosie light shines	1	546	Oct 17, 2005 by craftycreations
	Step 3 success - (Preview) Dear All, Beth and I have decided to share our story. I will post my half and Beth will do her part in separate post. Here goes a remarkable story: I happened to be in chatroom when Beth shared about worrying she might become estranged from her grandkids. This was at about 17:00 o...	toto12	6	671	Oct 17, 2005 by sandie123
	Working Hard (Preview) I am working really hard into getting into shap. I have been doing situps every other day. I been walking. I have asked my friend to help me get in too shape. I am not fat I just want to get into better shape. I have learn the will power from Alanon to make myself feel better. To take care of myself.	nycbt	2	522	Oct 17, 2005 by jj
	Negative Energy (Preview) I'm probably on a bit of a different path then most spiritually, but I think what this has to say (link below) is well worth the bit of time it takes to read and something that all of us can find useful. This article talks about what negative energy does to us and the universe and what we can do to change it. ...	Christy	8	791	Oct 17, 2005 by Christy
	Thank you all :) (Preview) Thank you all for your support in my post below. After my post last night, about my A family, I received a crazy phone call from my A. Just what I needed, huh? It’s been one hell of a weekend emotionally, but won’t drink. I used to drink when I was bored, now I know why, I got used to the chaos...	CAM0914	1	522	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Make Lemonade, (Preview) Hi All, Well here in New Jersey we have had eight days of driving rain. Pretty dreary until today. Since it was so dry all summer, everything around my house was dead or burnt looking. All week as I drove my bus in the slops, I kept saying well, I seeded my lawn a few weeks ago, at least it is getting a really...	Jeannie	8	616	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Good Morning (Preview) I read about acceptance this morning. This is a hard one for me, maybe because I am the baby of the family, maybe because of co-dependent issues, maybe just because I am who I am. When it comes right down to it though, I have to accept things I can not change. My cat that ranaway has not c...	marmare	5	575	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Blame it on me weekend! (Preview) Good morning to all of you! After reading Jeannie's post, I got to thinking about laying blame on others. You know, "everything's your fault, not mine.." Well I decided that for this weekend, and this weekend only all of you out there have a 1 time, limited opportunity, special offer (d...	Karilynn	12	865	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	To feel (Preview) I love you guys! I talked to my A on the way home from work. I called him, I am missing him so much, and Yes Candianguy, after the conversation you were right, seeing things through rose colored glasses. LOL The conversation had some rough spots in it. He said he was goin...	marmare	4	567	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Just need to vent..having a bad night (Preview) Hi everyone, it's me again. Usually I write posts here about how mad my "a" makes me, how he doesn't keep his word, etc, etc. Tonight I just want you all to know that I am really miserable not seeing him, not hearing his voice, not having him to hug. I really miss him so much. I have days that a...	hadit	8	671	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	help (Preview) help me i am slipping so much right now and i dont know what to do. i have so much intense fear. my a admitted that he doesnt think he can stay sober and he will drink again. he said he wont get help. so what do i do with this? it's his choice and i cant do anything about it. i am so hurt and scared right now. scared b...	notsonew1111	3	561	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	IT WORK OUT (Preview) On Saturday I help out my job they had a fundraiser. After that I got together with my friend and we did some walking. I am trying to get in shape. I want to lose some weight. My friend is going to be like my personal trainer. After that I called my husband to see if him and his grown son were done working. He tol...	nycbt	0	505	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Three calls but I'm strong (Preview) Two calls were like reasons to call and ask if I made it to the dump okay etc.....then when my A called tonight and asked...are you ready?...."what is it that you want?" I told him that we had talked on Monday and was not going to go through it all again. That for years I am repeating what my nee...	marmare	6	601	Oct 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	Saturday night (Preview) We found out a few days ago that my hubby will be going out of state to work (he's in construction). Anyways, looks like he will be leaving on Sunday. Saturday I had plans for quite awhile to go to a concert w/13 other people including a limo (all expenses paid). Once I found out he may be leaving on Sunday, I...	sg	7	650	Oct 16, 2005 by sg
	not hiding (Preview) Hello all I am not hiding, just stuck in the land of dial up internet service and little or no cellphone service. Should be home this weekend. Having a successful visit fundraising for my friend! josey	jrtjosey	3	603	Oct 16, 2005 by Flora123
	interesting movie for discussion..or not (Preview) Hello Roomies: Last night my A took me out for dinner and a movie. The movie we chose was "Two for the Money" with Al Pacino, Rene Russo and Matthew McCoughney. It was a movie about Sports betting (my A's gambling addiction) and Al Pacino and Rene Russo play a married couple in re...	Kim	1	685	Oct 16, 2005 by WakingUp
	Boundaries with Non-A Family Members (Preview) It's Saturday nite, been a pretty good week everything considered. I rec'd a call from my sister tonite who was "concerned" about me. What her phone call ended up being was her telling me that I need to see a lawyer, protect my own interests, etc. since my husband moved out two wee...	Ratchie	5	669	Oct 16, 2005 by canadianguy
	Fear ~ Continued (Preview) This is in regards to Emmies post on fear. Thank you again for the post on fear. I had one other thought that I wanted to share. One part that really impacted me on your post was the definition. Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of da...	sandie123	2	516	Oct 16, 2005 by rosie light shines
	i gotta love ME before i can love others (Preview) *History provides abundant examples of . . . women whose greatest gift was in redeeming, inspiring, liberating, and nurturing the gifts of others. --Sonya Rudikoff* Part of our calling as members of the human community is to unconditionally love and support the people emotionally close to us. W...	rosie light shines	0	533	Oct 16, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Hi (Preview) Hi everyone I just want to say hi. I haven't been here for a while I've been trying to go to school to get my GED. I have been to two meetings to. See my A husband had to go out of town last Wednesday the 6th and *Thursday the 7th so I got to go it was grate. I hate to say this but whe...*	RDP2976	4	568	Oct 16, 2005 by sunny1
	wanting online sponsorship (Preview) Hi my name is Yvette...aka Sunny1 online. Im a greatful new alanon member. I have been in the program since may and online since sept. I have enjoyed chatting with all the members. I have related to alot of you and others have helped to guide me when I am struggling. I have a f2f sp...	sunny1	0	559	Oct 16, 2005 by sunny1
	Exhausted (Preview) I'm exhausted. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. As many of you know, for the past three years I have cared for my husband as he underwent surgery then on to palliative care for cancer. It's been a long and difficult road. For the past fiv...	she123	9	673	Oct 16, 2005 by marmare
	How do you explain? (Preview) Hi roomies, I was having dinner the other night with friends. A question arose and we were all stumped by it. We all know that people who haven't been through this can come up with some interesting pespectives to say the least. One of my friends has choosen to live with an active A. Another frien...	Karilynn	12	786	Oct 16, 2005 by abbyal
	Past two weeks (Preview) Hi folks! I got such helpful support and input two weeks ago when i wrote about my a gambling all his money away and begging me to loan him money, so i wanted to let you all know how it panned out. I did end up loaning him $50. not the $100 he was asking for. i had to at least loan h...	search41	0	598	Oct 16, 2005 by search41
	Family visit.... (Preview) Just got back from a family visit with my sister & her family. I went with my folks, Dad is a recovering A over 10 years, Mom, well, let’s just say Mom feels sorry for herself A LOT. Well, after driving over an hour in the backseat with Mom & Dad in front (I felt like I was n...	CAM0914	2	571	Oct 15, 2005 by debilyn
	stuck (Preview) I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut here. Today was meant to be my first meeting with a D/A counsellor visiting my town. He was to ring upon arrival into town to set up a time. I can only assume something cropped up in his base town which is approx 400kms from here. I was...	leo	7	769	Oct 15, 2005 by lin0606
	I am growing (Preview) Yesterday I went to an alanon meeting so I had the car. I had a really good meeting. Got home and his grown son told me that my husband was gone for over and hour and that he didn't have his cell phone. Well I was a little upset because I knew I couldn't call him. But I said to my self there is nothing I can d...	nycbt	4	566	Oct 15, 2005 by Flora123
	i am a magnet for all things GOOD (Preview) *We know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth! --Maxie Dunham* We do not need to create difficulties and pain in our lives. They come with the package of human existence. Some of us even feel bewildered when we aren't pressed by trouble. As we grew in...	rosie light shines	2	831	Oct 15, 2005 by kitty
	"The Precious Present" Book Review (Preview) Just read "The Precious Present" by Spencer Johnson MD. Delightful and a simple 15 - 20 minute read. [Puts a lot into perspective if you've been in alanon a short time. Or looking at Step 4. Or looking at Steps 4-9. Or have be...	wallsal55	0	751	Oct 15, 2005 by wallsal55
	NOW i have a choice (Preview) Choices "We did not choose to become addicts."Basic Text p. 3When we were growing up, all of us had dreams. Every child has heard a relative or neighbor ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Even if some of us didn't have elaborate dreams of success, most of us dreamed of work, families, and a...	rosie light shines	2	618	Oct 15, 2005 by kitty
	Fear (Preview) Hi friends: Recently I looked up the word fear in the dictionary and was surprised to find this definition: *Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of danger.* Interesting. My alarm and agitation can be just as debilitating and disruptive to...	Emmie11	3	617	Oct 15, 2005 by sandie123
	Vent (Preview) Hi, A friend of my son has kept his car here for several months now. He has been working out of state, and gave up his apartment. He had no where to leave his car, so my son has kept it until he can come get it. It is registered and insured in the boys name. We turn it on every few days and have permission...	Jeannie	6	597	Oct 15, 2005 by browneyes
	"heres to beauty WITHIN" (Preview) *Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. --Jacqueline Bisset* How common it is for us to be overly concerned with our looks. The culture encourages it through our families, our friends, and the media. Many of us anguished over our looks in years past, and the pain o...	rosie light shines	0	552	Oct 15, 2005 by rosie light shines
	chair needed Sunday PM (Preview) Hello board I will be unable to chair this Sunday evenings meeting. I am in Palm Springs,CA on business. Sunday is our buffer day. If work is going badly we work. If it is going well we do R&R. People on here have suggested the tram. It may rain. Any suggestions for Palm springs in th...	megan	0	502	Oct 15, 2005 by megan
	I TRY TO TIGHTEN THE NOOSE OF RESENTMENT AROUND SOMEONES NECK (Preview) The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe anothers slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone "not guilty". I think of forgiveness as scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem...	gardengal	4	1135	Oct 15, 2005 by bd
	a little nervous (Preview) Tonight my husband is going to his friend's house to play guitar. The last time he went to this friend's house, he ended up high and drunk, went to a gay bar and got his car stolen. (now do you see why I'm a bit freaked out?) He has not used marijuana for the past 6 weeks and has been really doing fantastic. W...	gknee	8	1007	Oct 15, 2005 by leo
	Resentment vs. Anger (Preview) I know anger and resentment are discussed alot by those of us effected by alcoholism. I never gave much thought to this kind of stuff before I got sober. For myself, it really helps to differentiate between resentment and anger. We alcoholics are supposed to avoid anger, it can literally kill us. I don...	UncleLou	9	1834	Oct 14, 2005 by Jill
	can i get some support please????? (Preview) CAN I GET SOME SUPPORT PLEASE????? this past two days, i had a wonderful visit from my OLD babysitter, i mean my first 11 years of life i was very close to him....we stayed in touch, kinda hit and miss....but always kinda in each others thoughts.... he was driving back to calif. (his home now) fr...	rosie light shines	6	776	Oct 14, 2005 by WakingUp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.