Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

marmare · marmare

I read about acceptance this morning. This is a hard one for me, maybe because I am the baby of the family, maybe because of co-dependent issues, maybe just because I am who I am. When it comes right down to it though, I have to accept things I can not change. My cat that ranaway has not c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Good morning to all of you!

After reading Jeannie's post, I got to thinking about laying blame on others. You know, "everything's your fault, not mine.." Well I decided that for this weekend, and this weekend only all of you out there have a 1 time, limited opportunity, special offer (d...

marmare · marmare

I love you guys! I talked to my A on the way home from work. I called him, I am missing him so much, and Yes Candianguy, after the conversation you were right, seeing things through rose colored glasses. LOL The conversation had some rough spots in it. He said he was goin...

hadit · hadit

Hi everyone, it's me again. Usually I write posts here about how mad my "a" makes me, how he doesn't keep his word, etc, etc. Tonight I just want you all to know that I am really miserable not seeing him, not hearing his voice, not having him to hug. I really miss him so much. I have days that a...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

help me i am slipping so much right now and i dont know what to do. i have so much intense fear. my a admitted that he doesnt think he can stay sober and he will drink again. he said he wont get help. so what do i do with this? it's his choice and i cant do anything about it. i am so hurt and scared right now. scared b...

nycbt · nycbt

On Saturday I help out my job they had a fundraiser. After that I got together with my friend and we did some walking. I am trying to get in shape. I want to lose some weight. My friend is going to be like my personal trainer. After that I called my husband to see if him and his grown son were done working. He tol...

marmare · marmare

Two calls were like reasons to call and ask if I made it to the dump okay etc.....then when my A called tonight and asked...are you ready?...."what is it that you want?" I told him that we had talked on Monday and was not going to go through it all again. That for years I am repeating what my nee...

sg · sg

We found out a few days ago that my hubby will be going out of state to work (he's in construction). Anyways, looks like he will be leaving on Sunday. Saturday I had plans for quite awhile to go to a concert w/13 other people including a limo (all expenses paid). Once I found out he may be leaving on Sunday, I...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Hello all I am not hiding, just stuck in the land of dial up internet service and little or no cellphone service. Should be home this weekend. Having a successful visit fundraising for my friend! josey

Kim · Kim

Hello Roomies: Last night my A took me out for dinner and a movie. The movie we chose was "Two for the Money" with Al Pacino, Rene Russo and Matthew McCoughney. It was a movie about Sports betting (my A's gambling addiction) and Al Pacino and Rene Russo play a married couple in re...

Boundaries with Non-A Family Members · Ratchie

It's Saturday nite, been a pretty good week everything considered. I rec'd a call from my sister tonite who was "concerned" about me. What her phone call ended up being was her telling me that I need to see a lawyer, protect my own interests, etc. since my husband moved out two wee...

sandie123 · sandie123

This is in regards to Emmies post on fear. Thank you again for the post on fear. I had one other thought that I wanted to share. One part that really impacted me on your post was the definition. Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of da...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

History provides abundant examples of . . . women whose greatest gift was in redeeming, inspiring, liberating, and nurturing the gifts of others. --Sonya Rudikoff Part of our calling as members of the human community is to unconditionally love and support the people emotionally close to us. W...

RDP2976 · RDP2976

Hi everyone I just want to say hi. I haven't been here for a while I've been trying to go to school to get my GED. I have been to two meetings to. See my A husband had to go out of town last Wednesday the 6th and Thursday the 7th so I got to go it was grate. I hate to say this but whe...

sunny1 · sunny1

Hi my name is Yvette...aka Sunny1 online. Im a greatful new alanon member. I have been in the program since may and online since sept. I have enjoyed chatting with all the members. I have related to alot of you and others have helped to guide me when I am struggling. I have a f2f sp...

she123 · she123

I'm exhausted. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. As many of you know, for the past three years I have cared for my husband as he underwent surgery then on to palliative care for cancer. It's been a long and difficult road. For the past fiv...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies, I was having dinner the other night with friends. A question arose and we were all stumped by it. We all know that people who haven't been through this can come up with some interesting pespectives to say the least. One of my friends has choosen to live with an active A. Another frien...

search41 · search41

Hi folks! I got such helpful support and input two weeks ago when i wrote about my a gambling all his money away and begging me to loan him money, so i wanted to let you all know how it panned out. I did end up loaning him $50. not the $100 he was asking for. i had to at least loan h...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

Just got back from a family visit with my sister & her family. I went with my folks, Dad is a recovering A over 10 years, Mom, well, let’s just say Mom feels sorry for herself A LOT. Well, after driving over an hour in the backseat with Mom & Dad in front (I felt like I was n...

leo · leo

I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut here. Today was meant to be my first meeting with a D/A counsellor visiting my town. He was to ring upon arrival into town to set up a time. I can only assume something cropped up in his base town which is approx 400kms from here. I was...

nycbt · nycbt

Yesterday I went to an alanon meeting so I had the car. I had a really good meeting. Got home and his grown son told me that my husband was gone for over and hour and that he didn't have his cell phone. Well I was a little upset because I knew I couldn't call him. But I said to my self there is nothing I can d...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

We know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth! --Maxie Dunham We do not need to create difficulties and pain in our lives. They come with the package of human existence. Some of us even feel bewildered when we aren't pressed by trouble. As we grew in...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Just read "The Precious Present" by Spencer Johnson MD. Delightful and a simple 15 - 20 minute read. [Puts a lot into perspective if you've been in alanon a short time. Or looking at Step 4. Or looking at Steps 4-9. Or have be...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Choices "We did not choose to become addicts."Basic Text p. 3When we were growing up, all of us had dreams. Every child has heard a relative or neighbor ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Even if some of us didn't have elaborate dreams of success, most of us dreamed of work, families, and a...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Hi friends: Recently I looked up the word fear in the dictionary and was surprised to find this definition: Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of danger. Interesting. My alarm and agitation can be just as debilitating and disruptive to...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, A friend of my son has kept his car here for several months now. He has been working out of state, and gave up his apartment. He had no where to leave his car, so my son has kept it until he can come get it. It is registered and insured in the boys name. We turn it on every few days and have permission...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. --Jacqueline Bisset How common it is for us to be overly concerned with our looks. The culture encourages it through our families, our friends, and the media. Many of us anguished over our looks in years past, and the pain o...

megan · megan

Hello board I will be unable to chair this Sunday evenings meeting. I am in Palm Springs,CA on business. Sunday is our buffer day. If work is going badly we work. If it is going well we do R&R. People on here have suggested the tram. It may rain. Any suggestions for Palm springs in th...

gardengal · gardengal

The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe anothers slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone "not guilty". I think of forgiveness as scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem...

gknee · gknee

Tonight my husband is going to his friend's house to play guitar. The last time he went to this friend's house, he ended up high and drunk, went to a gay bar and got his car stolen. (now do you see why I'm a bit freaked out?) He has not used marijuana for the past 6 weeks and has been really doing fantastic. W...

UncleLou · UncleLou

I know anger and resentment are discussed alot by those of us effected by alcoholism. I never gave much thought to this kind of stuff before I got sober. For myself, it really helps to differentiate between resentment and anger. We alcoholics are supposed to avoid anger, it can literally kill us. I don...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

CAN I GET SOME SUPPORT PLEASE????? this past two days, i had a wonderful visit from my OLD babysitter, i mean my first 11 years of life i was very close to him....we stayed in touch, kinda *hit and miss*....but always kinda in each others thoughts.... he was driving back to calif. (his home now) fr...

jj · jj

A dear AA friend stopped by the other day, I was not expecting this at all and it was a nice supprise for me. I needed him more than I thought. We had a nice talk and he seemed to know what place I was in better than I did. I explained to him that I have come to this brick wall that I seem...

marmare · marmare

Day 14, it is hard not to count the days since I have seen my A's face. I miss him terribly, the lonliness consumes me for minutes at a time. I get busy and that seems to help. I am trying to be accepting and not do the "what if" or "why" but it is one of the hardest things ever. ...

soberbedwetter · soberbedwetter

I foolishly tried to kill myself after reading a letter from my wife, now everyone thinks i have a drug problem, my history as an alcoholic preceeds the drug use, I feel I do not abuse drugs given me by my doctor but after reading the most painful thing ever led me to a bottle of my prescription drugs...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: Tonight my A came over after I had a rough day at work...I have a huge meeting tomorrow in which I will probably have my cage rattled a time or two by the higher ups...the last thing i thought I could handle was a conversation about our relationship. After telling my A that I was having a ro...

dogscribe · dogscribe

I'm sure most of you remember my post a couple of weeks ago about how the A was so drunk that he was still drunk in the morning and came to work anyway. Well the week after that was pretty smooth - still got somewhat drunk but not nearly as bad. Well - I guess it's back on the down hill side of t...

Magpie · Magpie

Hi everyone. I am new here, but have been reading the posts for the last week and feel so relieved to see others going through the same insanity that I am. My husband is my A. We have three kids under age 5. His drinking has been a problem for the last 3 years with a 6 month break of s...

toto12 · toto12

Hi john, Forgot one more piece of computer info: It says "connect" but underneath it says webmaster closed and then it says "quit" above and waiting for data beneath but changes to closed and connect very quick but never opens......?? confused, toto

toto12 · toto12

Hello, Again the chatroom won't let me in. Says closed right after looking for data and then nothing.. help! Toto

Mars · Mars

has my partner been sober . and i am still simmering with anger !!!. he is trying so hard and so am i ,but i am still angry its not the in your face shouting and screaming your head off one . its a feeling of discomfort and restlessness . he has stopped drinking so i should be happy, but now i have to get to...

sunny1 · sunny1

Hi All, Im a fairly new but greatfull member of Alanon. I have been working my program really well and hard until about the end of Sept. Then it all changed for me. My sponor who I have just gotten, we have just done step one. Well she had to go out of town for her father who is dyi...

meowzmusic · meowzmusic

I took advice from several members to ignore my husband's drinking. In the past, he drank when I went to church or was away from the home. He told me the other night he had a bad day and was going to pour himself a drink, and I could throw him out the house if I wanted to. I showed no reactio...

brakkenk · brakkenk

This is my very first post and I am grateful to say that reading all of yours have brought me to it. I have started my detachement for my A's problem. He once again came home intoxicated. I set the boundaries. No drinking in my home, no coming home after drinking and no sp...

VioletScars · VioletScars

My A broke up with me, decided that he really doesnt like me as a person and doesnt want to put effort into our relationship anymore. I dont want it to be over, I love him

Kim · Kim

Tonight was a quiet night and for the first time in a while, it was OK to be alone. I wasn't lonely. I wasn't sad. I just was. It's been raining here for days and it was nice to just sit in. I had asked my friends up the block to come for coffee and when they declined, it was OK. Had a rough day at work, it was OK in th...

quiet1 · quiet1

but not new to al-anon. I am having a problem, and I hope someone can help. I am feeling very resentful toward my A, this has been going on for quite a while and I can't get past this. I feel very "gived out". I feel like I have been doing all of the giving for way too long, and I would like him to do something for m...

pixel04 · pixel04

I grew up in an alcoholic home, and I used to be very ashamed of how I felt about my family. I am 31 years old, and today I honestly tell people I spent the first 14 years of my life wishing I could put my finger on what it was I could do to hold my family together, and I spent the second 14-15 years until I found t...

toto12 · toto12

Hi, For a long time I deliberated whether to continue my Alanon meeting here in Germany, because I need meetings, but I have decided to stop and this is why: I think the German Alanon here cannot heal like Online. The meeting starts by reading the Steps, Preamble and Tradition...

lin0606 · lin0606

So many members here just now leaving their A's, or thinking of leaving, I thought I would post this, from "Alanon Faces Alcoholism" "Alcoholism is a treatable illness with a high percentage of recovery for those who humbly seek help. If a wife gives her husband a choice of seeking help for alco...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Someone sent me this message to assist me as I was having trouble staying in the moment and getting through my work day. Maybe it will be helpful to others too. Please note, this is not exerpted from conference approved literature. "Take pleasure in everything you do. I know how hard you work.&nbs...

chrissy · chrissy

i missed 3 of his phone calls last night he was so pissed he finally called 8 30 this morning and was ok. Then he called back and said he was not happy this place sucks and if he didn't see a councler that he was checking out by 6 pm if he doesn't see a change there is no T...

bd · bd

My daughter wants to visit my parents next weekend. As you can tell I really don't want to go. I don;t feel like driving 2 hours to watch my dad sit in his van and drink all weekend and spend 15 minutes with her. I was talking to my friend today and she said you might as well see them while y...

captcodee · captcodee

I needed to post this... I have terrible PMS, I mean Fried Green Tomatoes type PMS, followed by nasty nasty cycles, and finished up with a terrible low.... Right now I am in a terrible low, waiting for the hammer to drop so to speak. I also live with an active Alcoholic, but think that everythi...

chrissy · chrissy

he called back & asked to see me so like an ass i went. i found a womens jacket in his car i went nuts everyone in my family said maybe he has a girlfriend & it stuck in my head. i threw it in the street in a puddle and left it there. today his mom called & said she wanted her jacket back lol i sai...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Rigorous Honesty As we work the program, we find that we cannot be rigorously honest about what we are adicted to unless we are rigorously honest about our other actions as well. Once our Higher Power takes charge of our lives, a general housecleaning occurs. Gradually, we see that the attitudes...

toto12 · toto12

Dear Oz, What happens in cyberspace on these days? The chatroom says "waiting for data" but nothing happens. Well, I'll wait longer but 10 minutes should be enough. Oh oz, computer chatroom in the sky, what's happening? a Frustated Toto

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Substance over Form I'm learning that for a variety of reasons, I've spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with th...

princess433 · princess433

Its been a long hard road without you by my side, Why wernt you there all the nights that I cried? You used to be a hero in my eyes. Its not ok, but im alright. All these years I learned to survive, The days I spent so cold and angry, were filled with hate of you. The memories will never go away, the scars will nev...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 12 When I think of boundaries, it helps if I think of a castle in a lake. Boundaries are the drawbridge connecting the castle with the world. Usually the drawbridge is down, and people can walk freely back and forth. However, when danger is sensed, the drawbridge r...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Good Morning (Preview) I read about acceptance this morning. This is a hard one for me, maybe because I am the baby of the family, maybe because of co-dependent issues, maybe just because I am who I am. When it comes right down to it though, I have to accept things I can not change. My cat that ranaway has not c...	marmare	5	465	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Blame it on me weekend! (Preview) Good morning to all of you! After reading Jeannie's post, I got to thinking about laying blame on others. You know, "everything's your fault, not mine.." Well I decided that for this weekend, and this weekend only all of you out there have a 1 time, limited opportunity, special offer (d...	Karilynn	12	746	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	To feel (Preview) I love you guys! I talked to my A on the way home from work. I called him, I am missing him so much, and Yes Candianguy, after the conversation you were right, seeing things through rose colored glasses. LOL The conversation had some rough spots in it. He said he was goin...	marmare	4	444	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Just need to vent..having a bad night (Preview) Hi everyone, it's me again. Usually I write posts here about how mad my "a" makes me, how he doesn't keep his word, etc, etc. Tonight I just want you all to know that I am really miserable not seeing him, not hearing his voice, not having him to hug. I really miss him so much. I have days that a...	hadit	8	534	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	help (Preview) help me i am slipping so much right now and i dont know what to do. i have so much intense fear. my a admitted that he doesnt think he can stay sober and he will drink again. he said he wont get help. so what do i do with this? it's his choice and i cant do anything about it. i am so hurt and scared right now. scared b...	notsonew1111	3	438	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	IT WORK OUT (Preview) On Saturday I help out my job they had a fundraiser. After that I got together with my friend and we did some walking. I am trying to get in shape. I want to lose some weight. My friend is going to be like my personal trainer. After that I called my husband to see if him and his grown son were done working. He tol...	nycbt	0	388	Oct 17, 2005 by nycbt
	Three calls but I'm strong (Preview) Two calls were like reasons to call and ask if I made it to the dump okay etc.....then when my A called tonight and asked...are you ready?...."what is it that you want?" I told him that we had talked on Monday and was not going to go through it all again. That for years I am repeating what my nee...	marmare	6	492	Oct 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	Saturday night (Preview) We found out a few days ago that my hubby will be going out of state to work (he's in construction). Anyways, looks like he will be leaving on Sunday. Saturday I had plans for quite awhile to go to a concert w/13 other people including a limo (all expenses paid). Once I found out he may be leaving on Sunday, I...	sg	7	533	Oct 16, 2005 by sg
	not hiding (Preview) Hello all I am not hiding, just stuck in the land of dial up internet service and little or no cellphone service. Should be home this weekend. Having a successful visit fundraising for my friend! josey	jrtjosey	3	473	Oct 16, 2005 by Flora123
	interesting movie for discussion..or not (Preview) Hello Roomies: Last night my A took me out for dinner and a movie. The movie we chose was "Two for the Money" with Al Pacino, Rene Russo and Matthew McCoughney. It was a movie about Sports betting (my A's gambling addiction) and Al Pacino and Rene Russo play a married couple in re...	Kim	1	493	Oct 16, 2005 by WakingUp
	Boundaries with Non-A Family Members (Preview) It's Saturday nite, been a pretty good week everything considered. I rec'd a call from my sister tonite who was "concerned" about me. What her phone call ended up being was her telling me that I need to see a lawyer, protect my own interests, etc. since my husband moved out two wee...	Ratchie	5	544	Oct 16, 2005 by canadianguy
	Fear ~ Continued (Preview) This is in regards to Emmies post on fear. Thank you again for the post on fear. I had one other thought that I wanted to share. One part that really impacted me on your post was the definition. Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of da...	sandie123	2	397	Oct 16, 2005 by rosie light shines
	i gotta love ME before i can love others (Preview) *History provides abundant examples of . . . women whose greatest gift was in redeeming, inspiring, liberating, and nurturing the gifts of others. --Sonya Rudikoff* Part of our calling as members of the human community is to unconditionally love and support the people emotionally close to us. W...	rosie light shines	0	404	Oct 16, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Hi (Preview) Hi everyone I just want to say hi. I haven't been here for a while I've been trying to go to school to get my GED. I have been to two meetings to. See my A husband had to go out of town last Wednesday the 6th and *Thursday the 7th so I got to go it was grate. I hate to say this but whe...*	RDP2976	4	463	Oct 16, 2005 by sunny1
	wanting online sponsorship (Preview) Hi my name is Yvette...aka Sunny1 online. Im a greatful new alanon member. I have been in the program since may and online since sept. I have enjoyed chatting with all the members. I have related to alot of you and others have helped to guide me when I am struggling. I have a f2f sp...	sunny1	0	447	Oct 16, 2005 by sunny1
	Exhausted (Preview) I'm exhausted. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. As many of you know, for the past three years I have cared for my husband as he underwent surgery then on to palliative care for cancer. It's been a long and difficult road. For the past fiv...	she123	9	546	Oct 16, 2005 by marmare
	How do you explain? (Preview) Hi roomies, I was having dinner the other night with friends. A question arose and we were all stumped by it. We all know that people who haven't been through this can come up with some interesting pespectives to say the least. One of my friends has choosen to live with an active A. Another frien...	Karilynn	12	665	Oct 16, 2005 by abbyal
	Past two weeks (Preview) Hi folks! I got such helpful support and input two weeks ago when i wrote about my a gambling all his money away and begging me to loan him money, so i wanted to let you all know how it panned out. I did end up loaning him $50. not the $100 he was asking for. i had to at least loan h...	search41	0	483	Oct 16, 2005 by search41
	Family visit.... (Preview) Just got back from a family visit with my sister & her family. I went with my folks, Dad is a recovering A over 10 years, Mom, well, let’s just say Mom feels sorry for herself A LOT. Well, after driving over an hour in the backseat with Mom & Dad in front (I felt like I was n...	CAM0914	2	441	Oct 15, 2005 by debilyn
	stuck (Preview) I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut here. Today was meant to be my first meeting with a D/A counsellor visiting my town. He was to ring upon arrival into town to set up a time. I can only assume something cropped up in his base town which is approx 400kms from here. I was...	leo	7	653	Oct 15, 2005 by lin0606
	I am growing (Preview) Yesterday I went to an alanon meeting so I had the car. I had a really good meeting. Got home and his grown son told me that my husband was gone for over and hour and that he didn't have his cell phone. Well I was a little upset because I knew I couldn't call him. But I said to my self there is nothing I can d...	nycbt	4	412	Oct 15, 2005 by Flora123
	i am a magnet for all things GOOD (Preview) *We know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth! --Maxie Dunham* We do not need to create difficulties and pain in our lives. They come with the package of human existence. Some of us even feel bewildered when we aren't pressed by trouble. As we grew in...	rosie light shines	2	693	Oct 15, 2005 by kitty
	"The Precious Present" Book Review (Preview) Just read "The Precious Present" by Spencer Johnson MD. Delightful and a simple 15 - 20 minute read. [Puts a lot into perspective if you've been in alanon a short time. Or looking at Step 4. Or looking at Steps 4-9. Or have be...	wallsal55	0	613	Oct 15, 2005 by wallsal55
	NOW i have a choice (Preview) Choices "We did not choose to become addicts."Basic Text p. 3When we were growing up, all of us had dreams. Every child has heard a relative or neighbor ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Even if some of us didn't have elaborate dreams of success, most of us dreamed of work, families, and a...	rosie light shines	2	514	Oct 15, 2005 by kitty
	Fear (Preview) Hi friends: Recently I looked up the word fear in the dictionary and was surprised to find this definition: *Fear: An emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or the realization of danger.* Interesting. My alarm and agitation can be just as debilitating and disruptive to...	Emmie11	3	487	Oct 15, 2005 by sandie123
	Vent (Preview) Hi, A friend of my son has kept his car here for several months now. He has been working out of state, and gave up his apartment. He had no where to leave his car, so my son has kept it until he can come get it. It is registered and insured in the boys name. We turn it on every few days and have permission...	Jeannie	6	476	Oct 15, 2005 by browneyes
	"heres to beauty WITHIN" (Preview) *Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. --Jacqueline Bisset* How common it is for us to be overly concerned with our looks. The culture encourages it through our families, our friends, and the media. Many of us anguished over our looks in years past, and the pain o...	rosie light shines	0	419	Oct 15, 2005 by rosie light shines
	chair needed Sunday PM (Preview) Hello board I will be unable to chair this Sunday evenings meeting. I am in Palm Springs,CA on business. Sunday is our buffer day. If work is going badly we work. If it is going well we do R&R. People on here have suggested the tram. It may rain. Any suggestions for Palm springs in th...	megan	0	388	Oct 15, 2005 by megan
	I TRY TO TIGHTEN THE NOOSE OF RESENTMENT AROUND SOMEONES NECK (Preview) The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe anothers slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone "not guilty". I think of forgiveness as scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem...	gardengal	4	998	Oct 15, 2005 by bd
	a little nervous (Preview) Tonight my husband is going to his friend's house to play guitar. The last time he went to this friend's house, he ended up high and drunk, went to a gay bar and got his car stolen. (now do you see why I'm a bit freaked out?) He has not used marijuana for the past 6 weeks and has been really doing fantastic. W...	gknee	8	881	Oct 15, 2005 by leo
	Resentment vs. Anger (Preview) I know anger and resentment are discussed alot by those of us effected by alcoholism. I never gave much thought to this kind of stuff before I got sober. For myself, it really helps to differentiate between resentment and anger. We alcoholics are supposed to avoid anger, it can literally kill us. I don...	UncleLou	9	1683	Oct 14, 2005 by Jill
	can i get some support please????? (Preview) CAN I GET SOME SUPPORT PLEASE????? this past two days, i had a wonderful visit from my OLD babysitter, i mean my first 11 years of life i was very close to him....we stayed in touch, kinda hit and miss....but always kinda in each others thoughts.... he was driving back to calif. (his home now) fr...	rosie light shines	6	669	Oct 14, 2005 by WakingUp
	Lonliness, Significants and Appreciation (Preview) A dear AA friend stopped by the other day, I was not expecting this at all and it was a nice supprise for me. I needed him more than I thought. We had a nice talk and he seemed to know what place I was in better than I did. I explained to him that I have come to this brick wall that I seem...	jj	4	562	Oct 14, 2005 by bcanuck
	Consuming me... (Preview) Day 14, it is hard not to count the days since I have seen my A's face. I miss him terribly, the lonliness consumes me for minutes at a time. I get busy and that seems to help. I am trying to be accepting and not do the "what if" or "why" but it is one of the hardest things ever. ...	marmare	4	506	Oct 14, 2005 by Ratchie
	killing myself (Preview) I foolishly tried to kill myself after reading a letter from my wife, now everyone thinks i have a drug problem, my history as an alcoholic preceeds the drug use, I feel I do not abuse drugs given me by my doctor but after reading the most painful thing ever led me to a bottle of my prescription drugs...	soberbedwetter	7	642	Oct 14, 2005 by rosie light shines
	hey I'm getting this serenity stuff...... (Preview) Hello roomies: Tonight my A came over after I had a rough day at work...I have a huge meeting tomorrow in which I will probably have my cage rattled a time or two by the higher ups...the last thing i thought I could handle was a conversation about our relationship. After telling my A that I was having a ro...	Kim	4	449	Oct 14, 2005 by Kim
	Back on the rollercoaster ride (Preview) I'm sure most of you remember my post a couple of weeks ago about how the A was so drunk that he was still drunk in the morning and came to work anyway. Well the week after that was pretty smooth - still got somewhat drunk but not nearly as bad. Well - I guess it's back on the down hill side of t...	dogscribe	3	484	Oct 14, 2005 by captcodee
	Unsure if I did the right thing (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here, but have been reading the posts for the last week and feel so relieved to see others going through the same insanity that I am. My husband is my A. We have three kids under age 5. His drinking has been a problem for the last 3 years with a 6 month break of s...	Magpie	9	637	Oct 14, 2005 by tara21403
	closed....quit????John? (Preview) Hi john, Forgot one more piece of computer info: It says "connect" but underneath it says webmaster closed and then it says "quit" above and waiting for data beneath but changes to closed and connect very quick but never opens......?? confused, toto	toto12	0	477	Oct 14, 2005 by toto12
	John help again! (Preview) Hello, Again the chatroom won't let me in. Says closed right after looking for data and then nothing.. help! Toto	toto12	0	352	Oct 14, 2005 by toto12
	40 days & 40 nights (Preview) has my partner been sober . and i am still simmering with anger !!!. he is trying so hard and so am i ,but i am still angry its not the in your face shouting and screaming your head off one . its a feeling of discomfort and restlessness . he has stopped drinking so i should be happy, but now i have to get to...	Mars	5	890	Oct 14, 2005 by KathyS
	frustrated (Preview) Hi All, Im a fairly new but greatfull member of Alanon. I have been working my program really well and hard until about the end of Sept. Then it all changed for me. My sponor who I have just gotten, we have just done step one. Well she had to go out of town for her father who is dyi...	sunny1	2	437	Oct 14, 2005 by Christy
	Wondering (Preview) I took advice from several members to ignore my husband's drinking. In the past, he drank when I went to church or was away from the home. He told me the other night he had a bad day and was going to pour himself a drink, and I could throw him out the house if I wanted to. I showed no reactio...	meowzmusic	3	449	Oct 14, 2005 by Christy
	Beginning the Detachement (Preview) This is my very first post and I am grateful to say that reading all of yours have brought me to it. I have started my detachement for my A's problem. He once again came home intoxicated. I set the boundaries. No drinking in my home, no coming home after drinking and no sp...	brakkenk	8	609	Oct 14, 2005 by nycbt
	JUST GETTING WORSE (Preview) My A broke up with me, decided that he really doesnt like me as a person and doesnt want to put effort into our relationship anymore. I dont want it to be over, I love him	VioletScars	6	586	Oct 14, 2005 by nycbt
	for the first time in a while I feel OK (Preview) Tonight was a quiet night and for the first time in a while, it was OK to be alone. I wasn't lonely. I wasn't sad. I just was. It's been raining here for days and it was nice to just sit in. I had asked my friends up the block to come for coffee and when they declined, it was OK. Had a rough day at work, it was OK in th...	Kim	6	581	Oct 14, 2005 by nycbt
	Hi everyone,I an new here (Preview) but not new to al-anon. I am having a problem, and I hope someone can help. I am feeling very resentful toward my A, this has been going on for quite a while and I can't get past this. I feel very "gived out". I feel like I have been doing all of the giving for way too long, and I would like him to do something for m...	quiet1	7	693	Oct 14, 2005 by nycbt
	learning (Preview) I grew up in an alcoholic home, and I used to be very ashamed of how I felt about my family. I am 31 years old, and today I honestly tell people I spent the first 14 years of my life wishing I could put my finger on what it was I could do to hold my family together, and I spent the second 14-15 years until I found t...	pixel04	4	504	Oct 14, 2005 by Karilynn
	Red shoes, don't fail me now! (Preview) Hi, For a long time I deliberated whether to continue my Alanon meeting here in Germany, because I need meetings, but I have decided to stop and this is why: I think the German Alanon here cannot heal like Online. The meeting starts by reading the Steps, Preamble and Tradition...	toto12	5	456	Oct 14, 2005 by UncleLou
	On Leaving (Preview) So many members here just now leaving their A's, or thinking of leaving, I thought I would post this, from "Alanon Faces Alcoholism" "Alcoholism is a treatable illness with a high percentage of recovery for those who humbly seek help. If a wife gives her husband a choice of seeking help for alco...	lin0606	7	647	Oct 14, 2005 by sg
	Staying in the present (Preview) Someone sent me this message to assist me as I was having trouble staying in the moment and getting through my work day. Maybe it will be helpful to others too. Please note, this is not exerpted from conference approved literature. "Take pleasure in everything you do. I know how hard you work.&nbs...	Emmie11	5	514	Oct 14, 2005 by sg
	he is a peice of work (Preview) i missed 3 of his phone calls last night he was so pissed he finally called 8 30 this morning and was ok. Then he called back and said he was not happy this place sucks and if he didn't see a councler that he was checking out by 6 pm if he doesn't see a change there is no T...	chrissy	8	618	Oct 14, 2005 by sg
	going for a visit (Preview) My daughter wants to visit my parents next weekend. As you can tell I really don't want to go. I don;t feel like driving 2 hours to watch my dad sit in his van and drink all weekend and spend 15 minutes with her. I was talking to my friend today and she said you might as well see them while y...	bd	3	511	Oct 13, 2005 by abbyal
	I can be SO HARD on myself!! (Preview) I needed to post this... I have terrible PMS, I mean Fried Green Tomatoes type PMS, followed by nasty nasty cycles, and finished up with a terrible low.... Right now I am in a terrible low, waiting for the hammer to drop so to speak. I also live with an active Alcoholic, but think that everythi...	captcodee	10	536	Oct 13, 2005 by notsonew1111
	he went to detox yeah !!!!!!! (Preview) he called back & asked to see me so like an ass i went. i found a womens jacket in his car i went nuts everyone in my family said maybe he has a girlfriend & it stuck in my head. i threw it in the street in a puddle and left it there. today his mom called & said she wanted her jacket back lol i sai...	chrissy	10	588	Oct 13, 2005 by rosie light shines
	honesty and willingness (Preview) Rigorous Honesty As we work the program, we find that we cannot be rigorously honest about what we are adicted to unless we are rigorously honest about our other actions as well. Once our Higher Power takes charge of our lives, a general housecleaning occurs. Gradually, we see that the attitudes...	rosie light shines	0	443	Oct 13, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Let me in! (Preview) Dear Oz, What happens in cyberspace on these days? The chatroom says "waiting for data" but nothing happens. Well, I'll wait longer but 10 minutes should be enough. Oh oz, computer chatroom in the sky, what's happening? a Frustated Toto	toto12	2	565	Oct 13, 2005 by toto12
	working on my SUBSTANCE (Preview) Substance over Form I'm learning that for a variety of reasons, I've spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with th...	rosie light shines	0	364	Oct 13, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Read this poem please... (Preview) Its been a long hard road without you by my side, Why wernt you there all the nights that I cried? You used to be a hero in my eyes. Its not ok, but im alright. All these years I learned to survive, The days I spent so cold and angry, were filled with hate of you. The memories will never go away, the scars will nev...	princess433	5	511	Oct 13, 2005 by Diva
	boundaries rather than barb wire (Preview) Hope for Today - October 12 When I think of boundaries, it helps if I think of a castle in a lake. Boundaries are the drawbridge connecting the castle with the world. Usually the drawbridge is down, and people can walk freely back and forth. However, when danger is sensed, the drawbridge r...	rosie light shines	1	463	Oct 13, 2005 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.