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Courage to Change 2/16/18
(Preview)
Good morning MIP - Happy Friday. Today's reminder -- The times I most want to hide out with my secrets are probably the times I most need to reach out and share them with others. When facing a difficult situation, let me remember that my Higher Power speaks through other people. I don't have to face it...
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Iamhere
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5
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437
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Hope for Today feb 18
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how making an 8th are list, of people we have harmed, may include ourselves. I know over the course of time, when I became in a situation that was not healthy for me, or made a decision that was not good for me I did not see it as harming myself. After having b...
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yanksfan51
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3
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419
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We are not a religion...
(Preview)
Okay this post is a reaction to the previous post using the theme "There but for the grace of God". When and where I got into program I found myself attending meetings on the grounds of a religious sect and I balked because religion was one of the addictions in my life which tore up family relationships...
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Jerry F
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14
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565
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CTC 02/17/18
(Preview)
C2C reading for today talks about FAITH. It suggests that fears loom large and that Faith takes a great deal of practice. Faith becomes real when we are in a situation and can see no way out that is when we can stop and ask for guidance That is when I see that a miracle can happen and that unexpected help a...
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lookingup
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3
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392
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Enabling?
(Preview)
My addicted fiance is working on his recovery. I have been going to AlAnon meetings for my own sanity. But I still feel like his mother when we are home. I make sure the bills get paid (with little or no contribution from him, building resentment), I clean the house daily, wash dishes, do laundry, and put...
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Engaged2Drugs
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3
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563
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Why is my ex ringing me because they’ve relapsed
(Preview)
I havent had any contact with them for 2 months. During that time theyâve not had a drink and now this week Iâve been drunk dialled. Telling me all about their problems and that they need me In their life they miss me.
I said ring me sober and out the phone down. What do I make of this? Do you think their bein...
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CarlyH
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5
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422
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over the valentines day slump...
(Preview)
Today is a new day & I am over the valentines day sadness. I celebrated my dads birthday w joy & sadness. Tears & smiles. Even laughter! He was born on a saints day. Does that make him a saint?
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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387
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A Character Defect
(Preview)
Once again, I have blown up at an unsuspecting good person that just happened to be there when I got very irritable. I immediately regretted it and tried to apologize but I could tell she was very hurt. We are volunteers at a charitable agency and work side by side every Friday afternoon. It is not the f...
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MovieGal
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6
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620
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The loneliness in a marriage with an A
(Preview)
I do not know why I stay. He is at AA meetings, I spend most evenings alone. I have a job, friends, church group, etc but the emptiness from being married to a man who is incapable of really ever loving me is beginning to take its toll. Why do I stay in this marriage? He can never meet my needs the way a normal he...
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Laura2018
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13
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801
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Another update - life on life's terms.
(Preview)
Hi there all. I really just need to share my process around something. Background: my husband is in rehab and I am overseas (in my country of origin let's call it B- (( sorry for being so mysterious its just the two countries are kinda unusual and it would compromise my anonymity to share them I believe)...
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AnnieFenk321
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5
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541
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How to handle feelings of sadness
(Preview)
Happy Valentineâs Day! Today I am thankful for my three little loves and that the sun is shining and it is warmer today. But today I am also sad. I am sad that this disease has affected my life and my husbandâs life and our marriage. Iâm sad that I feel completely disconnected from my husband and that I feel...
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Holly73
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8
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585
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Courage to Change 2/15/18
(Preview)
Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses practice in recovery and how that leads to a different outcome than before! The quote is from Aristotle, and speaks to me --- "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." In recovery, we talk about working the program - wh...
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Iamhere
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2
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360
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Resentful - having to defend that I need a meeting
(Preview)
Pretty much everyone, everyone, I have ever been related with has been active addicts. Today I wake up and my thoughts are suddenly occupied by a former friendship - being drawn right back into the situation; quite a few steps back. Am I suddenly not an al-anon valid individual? Do you know what i...
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ieei
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5
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412
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ODAT Reading 2-13
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for February 13 speaks to the fact that in Al-Anon we concentrate on looking at our own mistakes to see how we have contributed to the destruction in our lives . The reading suggests that we were not living in a vacuum with the alcoholic doing all the damage. We reacted in many ways and th...
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hotrod
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3
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728
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Not nice ..
(Preview)
Over the past year I have learned a lot about myself and I am grateful for the experiences I have had, .. they have given me a lot of time to reflect on a few things. I want to clarify .. my XAH is an ass .. that hasn't gone away .. LOL .. at some point with enough program I may be open to it .. at this time I pray for t...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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445
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update - husband in rehab - decided to stay with my mum
(Preview)
Hello all, I just wanted to quickly update on my situation. I am still here in my home country, living with my mother and my son, while my husband is in rehab in the country where we all lived until recently. I heard from the rehab today and they say that he is doing well. I am not really sure what that means i...
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AnnieFenk321
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7
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464
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How do I support my alcoholic brother?
(Preview)
Hi all, My brother (in his 40's) recently talked to me about being an alcoholic, and how he's even been to an AA meeting a couple times. This was in the context of how terrible his life is right now. He's been drinking all his money, and his current workplace is having trouble staying in business, so h...
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concernedbrother
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10
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622
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Brand Spanking New
(Preview)
Brand new to this group and looking for advice. I am confident that I cannot get through this by myself but I donât know where to start. I have been online reading for hours and listened to a phone meeting this morning. Everyone was sharing about their own recovery I am completely overwhelmed. Is there a...
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Rosepro
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6
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480
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managing desire
(Preview)
Hi all, I've been in the program for a little over a year, have 2 young kids, and am in the process of separating from my AH of 12 years. We have had zero physical or emotional intimacy for over a year, and I have a lot of pent up energy. Preparing for separation and divorce is liberating, and I thank the prog...
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yolanda
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11
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654
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Inspired to seek out al anon
(Preview)
"that no bearer shall bear anothers burden" http://al-quran.info/#53:38 https://www.random.org/ Generate random number 1-114 and 1-number-of-verses-in-chapter I tweeted this, having found it through above method - although segments of holy books selected as the content pool, in Janua...
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ieei
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3
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422
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Courage to Change February 14
(Preview)
To those who celebrate the holiday, happy Valentine's Day! With today's reading in Courage to Change, the slogan "When in doubt, don't" came to mind. The author shares that, in those times when they felt the most need to find an immediate solution were also those times when they were not yet ready to...
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Skorpi
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4
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768
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all new to me
(Preview)
Thiss topic was posted to the alanon Business board by Post InfoTOPIC: All new to me...CASphilbrook l new to me...Permalink Reply Quote More I'm new to this, new to alanon. I've read a lot of different posts and I feel like mine may seem minor to most others. I met my husband 11 years ago. He was...
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hotrod
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5
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490
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QTIP
(Preview)
I did a search here and read old posts about QTIP.Instead of bumping one of them up and digging up old "dirt" from years ago,I decided to start a new thread. Last night,someone blamed me for something that I didn't do,something that had absolutely nothing to do with me at all.Actually,it was such a pet...
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SoggySlippers
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6
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567
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Slogans as Meeting Topic
(Preview)
How do I know which slogans are considered approved by Al-Anon? I want to use the topic of Al-Anon slogans and how we apply them to our lives when I lead our meeting next week, but don't want to share slogans which aren't CAL approved. Your input would be greatly appreciated, as I don't want to ruffle any f...
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Green Eyes
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11
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4637
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Fear, but took action
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm rambling here. I've been dealing with some health issues in my broken thinking............I keep thinking they are just simply going to go away if I eat right and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I guess that fits in with "denial" and fear. I looked at the calendar and it's been o...
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Tude
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5
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626
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Me thinking ..
(Preview)
Which let's be clear I get into trouble every damn time .. ugh. I had a comedy of errors go on over this weekend. First was I had the nerve to go out with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in 6 months and my youngest had a dance. My poor boyfriend missed the whole parenting part of his kids because he played a very s...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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401
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Control Issues
(Preview)
Hi all, sorry for the long post. I'm really stewing over this one! I had a conversation with my AW last night at dinner that just isn't sitting well with me. I'm stewing over it, and I think I've put my finger on why it isn't feeling right, but I hope some of you can give me some ESH so I can think more clearly ab...
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Skorpi
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13
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1077
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ESH please- feeling scared, angry, unsure
(Preview)
Hello all,
It's been a long while since I posted last. I've been working hard at making my marriage work and trying to be strong. Yesterday we crossed the bridge I knew was inevitably in our path with my AH heavy daily drinking. His health is now affected. He got scared when he discovered blood inhis sto...
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Elabella
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13
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678
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Quick update
(Preview)
After AHâs relapse 2 weeks ago, I was concerned he wouldnât be willing to keep working on his issues. Iâve been pleasantly surprised though. No more episodes since then and our relationship is continuing to improve. A lot of the little things that mean so much and have been missing for a long time have s...
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Twinkies
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4
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492
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C2C, 2/12
(Preview)
Detachment: The writer comments that detachment is easy with casual friends, but not with loved ones. He says that with family, he is likely to take on their negative frame of mind. He says he needs to pay attention to his own mood, so he does not take on the mood of someone else. Today's Reminder: If...
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Lyne
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5
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448
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Observations/perspectives/aging
(Preview)
SO, this is totally off topic from program. I'm sure many of you can relate, though. I took a job at a company where I worked over 20 years ago and I worked there for 4 years in various roles/departments. One of the things I loved(and still do) about it is that it is so diverse culturally and, to some degre...
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andromeda
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6
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531
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Hope for Today Feb 11
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the unique relationship we develop with our sponsors. The writer describes how difficult it was in the beginning, to trust that her sponsor would not run away after hearing all of the terrible facts about her, and how there were times she would actually...
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yanksfan51
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5
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439
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ESH needed for No Drinking but No Program
(Preview)
Hi Everyone - I could really use some ESH.....here's what is happening that I've alluded to but haven't posted on yet. My AH is on day 11 of using naltrexone to not drink but that's it; he's not in any program and has underlying anxiety (and most likely depression??) which has probably contributed to...
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jtpickle
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6
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619
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Great news
(Preview)
my last post here I shared my great news about daughter and family coming back to live in the states from Japan, waiting on news of where they will living at here in states finally came,,,they'll be living in Las Vegas , more great news.i know how much of a relief that must be, now it's the transition part,...
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lookingup
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6
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499
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Courage to Change 2/9/18
(Preview)
Today's reading is about "keep it simple", so I will try to do just that. The reading discusses how non-simple life was before recovery - stressful job, limited/no time, obsessive focus on the A and denial about all of the above! Al-Anon, when we practice it, brings about awareness and a breakage of t...
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Iamhere
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6
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608
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CTC. 2-10
(Preview)
C2C reading for sat 2-10 speaks of how we do not appreciate our talents and creative gifts after living with the disese of alcoholism. It suggests that we take the time, to look within and discover the creative energy that dwells within. Once we see this energy we can develop this energy by tak...
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lookingup
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7
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512
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headache been crying
(Preview)
I have been so upset but have a lot of support from sisters. My mom is down south again indefinitely. Hopeful that I might see her again after talking to my sis. She said I don't have to feel like I will never see mom again. She said wait till the dust clears & maybe we can all make a trip--very comforting...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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423
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Friday yet?
(Preview)
It's really been a week and I am ready for Friday! I am finally getting some sleep I'm not sure if it's exhaustion or if I am finally able to sleep time will tell. I had to laugh because my oldest finally got everything dealt with at this point I'm waiting for the next fire because there will be another fire...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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481
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HALT!
(Preview)
I just need to remind myself today to not get too hungry angry lonely or tired. I am definitively halting. Help!
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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421
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ABF, his rigidity = relationship struggles. Help!
(Preview)
Hello, I am very new here I have been with my ABF (who's been in recovery for 15 years) for 2 1/2 years. We live an hour and 15 minutes apart from each other, I am divorced with three teenage children. He has been single for 20 years, and very much stuck in his daily routine. On the surface the relationship...
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Im
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31
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715
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Sane and Sober and coming back again
(Preview)
Today is the 7th of Feb which makes tomorrow the 8th and an anniversary ...again. Thank you the entire family of Al-Anon and AA the 39 previous years have been much much easier and willful to do because of you all. Not so bad for a member who didn't like or appreciate any of you or your ESH when he first a...
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Jerry F
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11
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472
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Courage to Change 2/8/18
(Preview)
I really like the quote of the day, so am starting there - "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." from Oscar Wilde Today's reading discusses how many of us worked really hard to be liked by 'all' before recovery. We had great intentions and tried to encourage friendships with some w...
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Iamhere
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8
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509
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Courage to Change February 7
(Preview)
Hello MIP! Today's Reading in Courage to Change is about the daily decision we have to make a positive contribution to our own sense of well-being. The author shares that, instead of focusing on what they cannot have or cannot do, they decide to take some action that will result in positive change. Th...
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Skorpi
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11
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437
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Resentment..
(Preview)
Hello everyone. Well it is hard for me to write this, but I am feeling lost. I am a mother to 2 beautiful boys, and expecting another little boy in May. I, and they are over the moon with our new addition arriving soon. I am currently working, but have had to cut down a lot on my hours due to unforseen issues a...
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Amy13
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9
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463
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Self-hate
(Preview)
Evening (or whatever time of the day you happen to be in!), MIP. A recent post by another member opened up memories Id forgotten, but that now seem very important to look at, so heres my thoughts. This is an long post.In the first several years of my and my ex-abfs relationship (especially then, but also...
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Aline
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10
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486
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Just a general share...
(Preview)
Hi y'all, Thanksgiving is big in the USA and Canada. Today is Waitangi Day, here in AoNZ, our national day. What mention will be made, of Alanon, or the 12 step movement? Nothing- really. But right here and now there is a connection, with this share. ... Living in the present was always hard for m...
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DavidG
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10
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482
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ODAT Reading 2-6-2018
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for February 6 speaks about the day when sobriety has entered the home. It suggests that life will not be perfect as we will have difficulties that arise . The reading suggests we must accept the usual upsets realizing that they come into shape now that they we are no longer focused on t...
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hotrod
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4
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391
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C2C, 2/5
(Preview)
Readiness for Alanon: The reading starts out with a Zen Buddhist saying: When the student is ready, the teacher appears . Anotherwords, we all get to Alanon at the right time. The writer says she heard about program as a teen, but didn't show up for 20 years. No nagging could have gotten her there a...
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Lyne
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9
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402
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Daughter and family will be coming home soon
(Preview)
As many of you remember back ,going back yrs ,my daughter an hubby was transferred to Japan ,they have 3 teen sons well mannered ,very respectful boys. im now happy to say their coming back to the states after being living over seas for over 10 yrs,this will be a very exciting event ,though I know I'm into...
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lookingup
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8
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409
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Need to share, vent, release anxieties.
(Preview)
So went to meeting today--but need more. Today I know is hard for many of us. It is so sad to think that a playoff game can be such a trigger for so many. Unfortunately trigger to me as I can just feel myself getting anxious waiting for game to start. So we are supposed to do what we want regardless of the a...
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Dancer66
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7
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461
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need to make phonecall
(Preview)
Hi there I wonder if all you wonderful people can help me. My husbands sick with alcoholism at the moment and is slowly trying to sort himself out visiting people, phonecalls etc. Some time ago he befriended a female alcoholic during his long recovery period. My AH is very kind and generous and she took...
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ling
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4
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602
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How to trust...are my reactions normal?
(Preview)
My husband and I have been married for 2 months. He is an alcoholic. I was aware of his disease and was willing to support him during this battle. Due to a recent DUI he has begun rehab which he states he is ready to end his drinking. During his drinking binges he would leave for a few days, not answer h...
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Reba2411
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9
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505
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It came as expected
(Preview)
AH had his first relapse Monday night. I expected it was coming for a variety of reasons - number one being that the abrupt change in him was just too easy. I had hope of course that he would be one of those who just put it down one day and never looked back, but my optimism was very cautious, and moreso the lon...
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Twinkies
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12
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573
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Alanon Step 2 posted
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Board Please post your thoughts-- here is the link http://stepwork.activeb...
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hotrod
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3
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403
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let it begin w me
(Preview)
I am not a victim of my past. I will not be fearful of my future. I will live in the moment. I will love the unloved. I will cheer on those who need support. I will focus on others not forgetting who made me who I am.
Today I am a winner no matter what anyone says.
My mother will not be a source of my unhappiness!...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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374
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Trying to figure out boundaries....
(Preview)
Thank you for response and advice from my first post. I've found a meeting to go to tomorrow. Two other things I'm struggling with that I am sure don't help are: 1. I am able to have 2 to 3 beers when watching a game or while at band practice and stop, but should I be abstaining even when I am not around her? I d...
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Smp
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5
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450
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New and trying to work Step 1
(Preview)
Hello and thank you to all of you for all your wonderful posts. Iâve been lurking here for the past few months and all of your wisdom has been a life line for me.
I started with AlAnon about 6 months by attending meetings, reading various literature and listening to podcasts. But this morning, after I s...
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Holly73
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8
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471
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Hope for Today Feb 4
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the different options we have to seek out serenity. Like the writer, I choose to get up earlier than my kids so that I have some quiet house time before the day gets started. I tend to embrace quiet like a few of the scenarios mentioned on this page (a quiet...
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yanksfan51
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4
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345
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Got a call from STBXAH and would like some ESH
(Preview)
Hi MIP family! I have been kind of quiet on here, but reading everyday. The reason is pretty much I have been NC with my STBX. He had stopped calling from rehab after my letter was sent. Until tonight. Firstly, I was kind of pissed that he called after 10:00 pm. I was actually just settling into sleep for th...
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PosiesandPuppies
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15
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590
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Middle ground between enabling and giving an ultimatum
(Preview)
I am new here, and I havent even gone to a live meeting yet, so please bear with me. My AW is current,y going to meetings, but this tends to last between 1 to 2 weeks before she slides into a binge. I dont know how to handle these constant back and forths. As of now I know I enable her because I dont try and stop he...
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Smp
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7
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534
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