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Post Info TOPIC: Reunion this weekend...


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1349
Date:
Reunion this weekend...


Hi Y'all...

The feature  recovery centre in my country has been closed down for over 20 years.

20 or thirty years ago many people from my town went through the centre. 12 or 15 of us. All were going to AA or Alanon when they went and most did well afterwards.

My father's step-dad was a doctor and an alcoholic. I knew hm as a quiet and a kind man. It was my mum's vitriolic backstory on him that told me the different story. Maybe one I did not need to hear, especially as a child.

I got a referral to go to the treatment centre as a family member. I was the first patient up at the doctor's surgery. He was drunk at the time and i had to dictate my letter of referral to the treatment centre- lots of cross-outs and blotches.

Maybe when I got there they thought i had written it myself!.

I did not have an easy ride through that place. My latent trauma surfaced there, with a vengeance.

I expected, that since I was there I would be able to start to address these issues.

In one of the groups i made a cheeky remark t Dr A. Also a recovering alcoholic.

In my base group the following day the leader, Dr. B. asked me what the basis of treatment was. I told him it was the 12 steps and the 12 traditions. In my home town I had been well schooled in both.

He told me that the way I had answered the question was a symptom of my real illness.

I had to go before Dr A. He threatened me with a lock-up mental unit if I did not take heavy medication.

I went from feeling stressed to being extremely anxious- my worst fears!

 

I threw the medicine out of the window of the bus as I left the place. My choice.

Subsequently [and incidentally] Dr A lost his job- because he chose drinking over a career.

Dr B. was murdered. I always felt that his demeanour made him vulnerable.

 

As a result of my treatment I did some training and found myself in a position to question the chief of the hospital. The reversal of steps 8 and 9 really. Something I would recommend- after all why shouldn't family members be on the receiving end of amends, from time to time?

I got his side of the story, which I regard as being confidential.

 

What is the point of this share?

 A reunion is an occasion of joy and gratitude. It is being run by grateful Maori women, with all the protocols observed. If I need to unload about something there will be people there to do this with. After all this is an occasion for the successful survivors.

This can be a bumpy journey sometimes... I can recall years and years of lostness. And daily pain.

Maybe my experience can help someone else. Offer hope?

It is always, but always in the hands of our higher power.

smile Thanks.

 



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One day at a time.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 9042
Date:

(((David))) - powerful share. You reminded me that there are painful elements of my past that I still do not understand. I've been able to leave them sit only because of step work. The journey that brought each of us 'here' today is often painful. I guess I am grateful that it's vastly different now and I don't have to let my past define me! Hope is a powerful motivator for me in my recovery and your share certainly shows power, hope and more!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

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Posts: 394
Date:

Hugs David. IAH worded it so perfectly.

Part of this type situation came up as I did my steps here on my amends. I am not facing a reunion though....the situations as you described was one I dealt with in a sort of similar way many years ago on the steps. Again, I am not facing a reunion. Prayers sent over this for you.

The one that is still sitting on my amends list with prayer is over another treatment center that I was able to get my brother checked into. He went in totally off the wall psychotic from drugs and coming off alcohol. In less than 24 hours in, which we all know the cobwebs or worse are still very much in effect..he lit a cigarette half in and half out the door on his way out to smoke.

He got kicked out. The "woman" who kicked him out was also my ED where I worked as a counselor. This woman and I had butted heads before over treatment of a client..........and the board meeting over the whole issue sided with me.

My head and heart want to blame her for his death. But, this is not reality. It was the one time it worked getting him into detox and treatment. I will continue to sit on this until I feel that release that comes from continuing to work the steps and all.

These past event's are painful and while I could not control any of the events........they still bring up much pain. There are simply those in authority who should never be in a position of authority.

(((David)))

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1349
Date:

 

 aww thanks Iam and Tude....

  I can fall back on the Alanon family... anywhere in the world i can come into a meeting and feel at home.

I don't have to justify being there... just turn up...

It is a day away now... I have done my little prima dona act. school was a shipwreck for me. Especially towards the end as i began to fall apart. My life was a survival course- which I am proud of... but not the classic topic for a school reunion- steady well-paying job for 40 years... biggrin

My nana went to this place in the 1930's. My mum told me a narrative about her mum leaving home and oldest sister taking over. My nana was a child of an alcoholic. My mum felt abandoned by her mum...

...my mum actually worked in this institution, as a nurse. Being an Alanon member i was able to make my peace with my mum- when she was alive and gain some more understanding. My dad was an alcoholic drinker. It was a part of the culture of the wider family.

Mum had a blue odat. She went to a meeting maybe once. I doubt if she ever read it.

A reunion is a time of joy and gratitude. It is a place to showcase a journey in recovery- and to show the way. Also to offer some kind of 12th step- both the illumination, and the outcome in service.

Maybe I am puffing myself out- like a frog- with my three generational story...? Like I have some prior claim to recovery, and to solutions? I am old enough now to think otherwise. A source of pride, rather, and of belonging. A sense of identity for me... not just a standing place, but a setting off place...

-thanks...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tVOcGFVg_0

thanks for the share... aww



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1349
Date:

 

 Hi y'all...

              this is much different from a f2f meeting... continuing a share...

High in the hills is a hotwater spa. A hospital was built here in 1916 for shell-shocked and weary soldiers. It evolved into an alcohol treatment centre.

My grandmother came here in the 1930's when it was a hospital for women. My mum recalls the time when her mum went away and big sister took over the running of the household. My grandmother was the child of an alcoholic.

It became usual for wives to come along for a family week. And this evolved to become husbands and partners too, of course.

It was not so usual for children of alcoholics to come along. In my view this is still an evolving arena. I always questioned if i was an alcoholic. Certainly I cannot relate to someone who hit rock bottom. I hit rock bottom emotionally from the age of 8 or 9.

This weekend I face the demons I had here- a very scary place for adult child! And the stigma attached to being here.

We had a big open meeting last night... my hearing and thinking has improved vastly over the years. The shares I heard were evocative and touching. They became a part of me. I have seen and heard it all before... [from lots of different people...]...but last night seemed fresh.

I try to push the boundaries and limits gently, and carefully... inside of this group, in particular.

Of what is allowable- and what the group norms and values are.

It means I do not back up and say nothing.

And I always have step 10 as a backup!

Thanks for the share...

-D.



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1349
Date:

 

 I see the strength here- is that we are surrounded with seasoned Alanon members, from all over the world... newcomers as well, who constantly test us! smile...



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One day at a time.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 9042
Date:

David - I agree! I love that we are equals from the entire world....where else can we find such a great support family! (((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 394
Date:

Great shares David. Thank you for sharing and it is wonderful to feel acceptance, to know we are all children growing and we can share the time of confronting those demons. A journey together for sure!

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1349
Date:

 The weekend is well and truly over, here in NZ. In fact it is Monday morning...aww...

The reunion was awesome... it seemed like a reunion, conference and workshop rolled into one... I was always told to "follow the winners".

The people who made the effort to come were la creme de la creme, really. Heaps of courage, lots of ESH... I always say in Alanon- gals and pals; laughter and tears...

I still have a lot of things to process... biggrin...



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 670
Date:

I'm happy for you :) Still Sunday evening here in N-Europe, and I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep before the beginning of the new week!

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Senior Member

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Date:

I'm so glad it went well David! It gives me encouragement to face a time that will eventually come:)

Hugs!!!

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