The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
SO, this is totally off topic from program. I'm sure many of you can relate, though.
I took a job at a company where I worked over 20 years ago and I worked there for 4 years in various roles/departments. One of the things I loved(and still do) about it is that it is so diverse culturally and, to some degree, laid back considering I'm in financial services. The campus I work at holds about 2500 workers and is quite large. We have an awesome cafeteria, a room for relaxation complete with yoga mats and chess board games. We have a nursing mother room, showers, a walking track around the campus grounds, etc. It's like a small scale Google, lol. There's plenty of room for moving departments, trying new skills, and even relocating to Westlake Texas or Denver CO, for me if I wanted to ever do so.
What I find funny is that the young people (under 30) whom I work with are so stressed out. Every new task to learn seems to get them agitated, they are focusing on how are they going to climb the corporate ladder, what doors can open up after they start managing this job with ease, etc. They all look so frazzled that I would find it humorous if I didn't understand to some degree. But, I get it, and yet I have a different perspective. Not to say I don't get frazzled but I definitely have more patience with myself. Program has taught me to be gentle on ME. Life has taught me that everything is temporary and that tomorrow will bring it's own set of joys and frustrations.
I've learned that when a client gets mad at me for not giving them what they want when they want it, it's not personal. The young folks who work around me get flustered and afraid they're going to lose their jobs if they tell a financial advisor, "No, I'm sorry. We cannot accept an altered signature." To which, I sometimes would love to follow up with, "DUH!! AND FOR HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AN ADVISOR working in this highly regulated industry??" But, I don't say that.....LOL.
My point here is that I feel like age has given me tools to set the little things aside and look at the big picture. What's really important? I want to increase my salary at work, as well. There are further licenses I can get to become a principal of the firm or to go further in financial planning, if I choose to do so. Or I could change departments and challenge myself in retirement services or on a trading desk. I have the same opportunities in front of me as the young people do, but I find that I am more relaxed and actually enjoy the challenges of learning new things every day at work. The young men who sit around me look overwhelmed from the minute they sit down at 8 AM. There's a part of me that wants to go hug all of them and tell that, "It's just a job. Life will have so many more lessons for you. Relax. Breathe, for goodness sake!" But, i don't think my bf wants me hugging random men at work, especially since they're all good looking and under 30, haha!
Anyway, I am so grateful for my life experiences. No matter how tragic or depressing or overwhelming they were. Life won't stop coming at me. I can see the barriers my own grown son will be facing and I know I'm not done being cooked yet. But, I'm still grateful for it all.....the past, the present, and the future. I'm glad I'm not 27 anymore. I'm grateful that I love my job. I'm grateful to just have a job, honestly. I'm grateful that young people come to me at work to ask me about rules and regulations and that they know I've been around longer than them and know the industry better. I'm more than grateful that I have a good man in my life who cares for me, covers me up with a blanket when I fall asleep on the couch, who hugs me every morning, and who tells me to drive safely every day I leave for work, and then who greets me when I come home with a huge, "HELLO!!!" and expecting me to come to him and kiss him while I'm carrying my purse, my lunch bag, car keys in hand, in my heels.....LOL!
My bf was bemoaning his age recently and during that discussion we both made similar comments about how we don't really 'feel' 47. It's our life experiences and all that we have seen and done that makes us feel like we've walked the earth for a long time. It's about our experiences, not about our physical bodies. That was, until last night's adult co-ed soccer game we played.....where we both declared we're too OLD FOR THIS SH*T! We decided there needed to be an over 40 league because last night we played a team where 1/2 the team was 19-21 years old. Ummm......yeah, that's the only time I really feel like I want my youth back!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Greetings-Age does bring wisdom and life experiences that younger folks don't have. I wonder if program has played a role in your ability to cope and be flexible? I find that in every phase of my life cycles, there are pros and cons. Alanon has taught me to make lemonade from lemons, Lyne
ROFL - great share and post and I am so 'with you' on this....my personal goal when I was a young fired up corporate person was to retire by 40. I did do this but goodness - at what cost? I was 'them' - stressed out, always intense, permanent worry wrinkles on my forehead before 40 - yet....I was driven. I believe it came from seeking 'success' based on how my family/parents defined it which was size of salary, size of home, size of bank account, etc. We never learned to focus on real success which today is much, much different - serenity and peace of heart...
I spent the next few years volunteering - more hours than I worked! That was almost equally crazy. Yet, again, I was raised to work hard and you can play later! The disease came furiously and my life, family, home, etc. was completely flipped upside down. I stumbled into Al-Anon and do believe the program, tools, steps, etc. + my HP have helped me be the best version of me yet. And - believe it or not, I am one who still believes the best is yet to come.
If I ever have to return to the workforce, I am hopeful I can do something I enjoy vs. what I'm trained to be/do. I loved what I did then, immensely, yet my goals have changed. It's no longer about the $$, the title, the office, etc. - now for me, it's about the ability to keep learning and be challenged. Good for you for seeing what 'is' around you and assessing your place! You and the BF are still young ones sister!!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I agree although the lessons learned while growing up in the business world and on the personal level were painful at the time they do provide invaluable experiences for dealing with life on life's terms, in my later years. I believe the lessons were worth the pain
Great perspective, and I totally agree. I've recently retired from decades of work in the corporate environment. I wouldn't describe myself as ambitious, but my need for approval and for not making mistakes made it stressful in the early years. I remember one time, I realized I had left out a comma in a document that had just gone out for printing ... it wasn't a financial comma, I just knew it was grammatically wrong ... and I was so upset I had to leave the office and go out for a drink And I'm not even a drinker! And nobody ever noticed the comma.
As life went on, the worries with kids and then facing alcoholism, I came to realize that nothing that happens at work can be as bad as what can happen at home. Also nothing that happens at work can be as good as what happens at home. And now that I've survived what can happen at home... and found support from higher powers ... I don't worry too much about anything. When I do worry, I can rein it in with the tools I have learned. My last few years of work were pretty stress-free from a work perspective. I really could keep calm when others weren't, because of my experiences.
Were the lessons worth the pain? Well, I'm glad I am not given the choice to go back and go through it again. But I do know, I'm getting wrinkly and saggy, but I have never had more serenity than I do now.
Freetime.....Yeah, it's too bad that with all that life experience we get sagging and wrinkles. Gravity sucks sometimes, lol! I'm definitely feeling my age and because I need to continue to save for retirement, I figure I'll be working until I'm past 65. I'll be 48 this year so I still have some earning years ahead of me provided that companies don't 'age' people out after age 60. I do think I can stay at my current place for quite a few years but changing jobs in my mid 50s doesn't really appeal to me, honestly so I'm glad I found a large company to work for where there are always opportunities for both lateral movement and upward movement. And, the benefits package was a big part of the reason I wanted to go back, as well. The young folks I work with already know that the benefits we get are bonuses for our jobs.
And, as you said, I don't think I'd want to go back and learn all my lessons over again, either! I'm quite happy with my life today.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Great ESH andromeda! For myself, I am re-framing the areas I loved to work in. New classes and we'll see where they lead:) I would never want to go back to my younger days. The journey of growing seems to escalate as I get older. I will say if there was any age I could go back to would be between 45-50. I was working in the area of my first love and mature enough to be calm in the midst of high stress. Thus the re-framing and this program has given me the tools to be able to start over!
