The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the unique relationship we develop with our sponsors. The writer describes how difficult it was in the beginning, to trust that her sponsor would not run away after hearing all of the terrible facts about her, and how there were times she would actually provoke a fight, hoping she could scare the sponsor off. The sponsor stuck around instead and provided a consistent feeling of love and respect that the sponsee came to realize she deserved.
One of the aspects of my relationship with my sponsor which has helped me so much is when I feel frantic or anxious, she has a way of letting me know that its all part of the process, and then gently shows another perspective to consider. My sponsor has helped me see who I am growing into, even when it is most difficult for me to see it myself. If I had to find a way to summarize it, I am thinking about how lost I felt when I came to the program- and how my sponsor has helped me find my way.
I am grateful to be here with all of you, and especially thankful for the relationship I have with my sponsor.
Hello Mary Great topic thank you for sharing your thoughts. Entering program,I was reluctant to select a sponsor because I did no trust that anyone could stay so close,without giving advise and attempting to force me to act as they thought i should. Reading all the literature on sponsorship, i was finally convinced that it was safe to ask someone for support and trust the intimacy.
I am ever so grateful for this important tool and to my sponsor. We have shared is road for many years and i would never have successfully managed my assets and defects without her genuine support and unconditional love.
Enjoy your day and thank you so much for our service.
Good morning Mary and Betty - happy Sunday. Thanks to both for your shares and ESH. Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. With most things in recovery, I had fear and and projection about sponsorship and sponsors. I really thought there were parts of me that could not ever be revealed to another! Shame and regret were long-time friends and it took hearing, "Your secrets keep you sick"....to get me to trust the process, the program and a sponsor.
I'm grateful for my sponsor. She's a lovely lady and I do know that my shares are kept confidential. It's a gift to have another person in my life who listens actively without judging and suggests tools for me to consider while I process, heal and deal.
We have slick roads so I'm missing my meeting this morning. The little people were to spend the night and that did not go too well! They went home around 10pm - baby was just not having it....he's in a transition state - sick off/on this winter and moving from the crib to a big boy bed. I believe he was just on overload and ... wanted his room, his bed, etc. I totally understand!! Make it a great day everyone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning Mary, Betty and IAH! I too had fear and all seemed to be age focused this time. I fell into the how on earth can anyone have so many crazy experiences, be my age and still not learn from them.....LOL.
I am so grateful for my sponsor(s)! I came in here knowing the secrets would keep me sick. My first round at the steps, in 87, I had no real sponsor yet. I just knew I wanted free of the torment of self and the program shouted no secrets etc. Totally different setting.....I actually paid a psychiatrist 75.00 to listen to the one part of my 4-5th that I didn't feel I could share with anyone. I told her what I was doing, thanked her and walked out the door. It didn't go very well, thus another area of the value of sponsors in our programs! She looked shocked. At that time of course, I thought omg I am more awful than I thought to begin with! Looking back I am sure she had no idea why anyone would pay her, walk in, state what was on the mind and walk out. Laughing about this today and of course.........more time in the 12 step programs.........I learned that I was not that "unique" LOL. I learned my greatest fear over an issue had also not only been others fear, but some thought nothing of it.
When my mind goes on overdrive, my sponsor always has the right thing to say. Reminding me there is good in me when I could only see bad when I got here. The suggestions were always on target and still are. Today, thanks to my sponsor(s) I am learning to live life on life's terms, have self respect and a new growing confidence.
Have a safe, warm day everyone! 8 degrees here so hats off to another fuzzy PJ and socks day!
I had my sponsor chosen for me, from within the group. She is still a friend. In a roundabout way her hubby became my actual sponsor. He started an AA Steps group with an open meeting. In this group we went through both the AA 12x12 and also the Alanon 12x12. We read through both books meeting by meeting... Group start-ups, especially in small towns take a lot of time. 18 months to two years. So we spent this time doing the steps and traditions. A great deal!
Thanks for your service, Mary, and all the ESH. This reading is so me. I still half-think my sponsor might run at some point, though it seems less and less likely after each time I speak with her, since she's still around. I want to laught at myself a little, but still can't deny the feeling is still present.
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