Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM

JerryF · JerryF

The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...

Want to Bloom · Want to Bloom

So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...

a4l · a4l

I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...

Happymoggy · Happymoggy

Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...

Hesees · Hesees

I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?

sadtimes · sadtimes

Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...

Almosthip · Almosthip

I have been married for 18 years. My husband is a drinker and a cocaine addict. I finally had courage to make him leave 3 weeks ago. He did have a safe place to stay, but he doesn't anymore. Hes begging me to come home, stating I am making him sleep in the streets. I have 3 teenagers, 2 of which still live...

uhohcheerio · uhohcheerio

Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone has insight. My boyfriend has agreed to not drink around me or on the days he sees me. Sometimes he drinks before seeing me and tries to hide it. I realize that asking him to not drink was kind of ridiculous and never going to work, and now it's causing more insanity than doi...

Jayla · Jayla

This past weekend was my ex AHs turn to have our children for the weekend. He also had his older son (10 years). So once the weekend was over and the older son returned to his mother, she contacted me (we have a good relationship) to let me know what her son had told her about his weekend with his dad. He said d...

joker · joker

Last Wednesday, without notice, the ex alcoholic bf send me a text to say he is on his way to my home. I have joint title on the house with him. I was shocked that he drove 14 hours to surprise me without notice that he was coming to the house. I was stunned. I thought he would be her to do the renovations on the h...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

As an FYI there are multiple resources to pull from when in crisis .. not only coming here .. there are many support websites where information can be found. YouTube has a show called The Recovery Show and they offer a whole lot of good speakers from Mary Pearl to Eileen C, Larcene, Father Tom, .. so many...

Lyne · Lyne

With all my program tools and other helpers, I can SEE now what happened to me. In a way it's hard for me to accept that I got caught in the former merry-go-round called: I know what's best for my A (to go to AA), and because she won't do it, I gave up my serenity. I have learned that I can practice acceptanc...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP! I've been thinking of checking in for a while and here I finally am doing that. Lately I've been more focused on doing the steps (I'm on Step 6) and also f2f meetings. I was at a wonderful ACA summer camp that went for a couple of days, and something opened up in me, I felt and feel it, but I don't know w...

Lyne · Lyne

Finding Reality: The author says if we don't face the whole picture, if we ignore parts of the truth, and/or if we pretend, we set ourselves up for disappointment and devastation. Living with alcoholics, our sense of reality was always shifting. Our lives stayed unmanageable. By sharing with o...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Since this is the 7th month a few meetings I have attended in the last week have focused on step 7. I went to a wonderful meeting this morning. I wanted to raise my hand and share but chickened out! lol. One thought that struck me and what I took away from the meeting is that our higher power, I choose to call i...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the difference having a program can make in ones life. The writer describes a home life as angry and chaotic. Although the writers mother stopped actively drinking, she also never had a program, so the writer describes learning to enjoy the healthy p...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family, The 4th has Always been a Big Deal to my Mom's Family, its the One time year, regardless of the day it falls on, We Show Up, Same Time & Place Every Year! My Grandma in Heaven started it 60 years ago, she has now been Gone 30yrs this year and now My Generation Organize it while the El...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hello question for everyone. I am fairly new to practicing the alanon program. My story is adult child of a alcoholic, very abusive, all that goes with it. I am a adult now. Rather get into all the details basically I have been looking for recovery all my life and alanon is truly the way for me. I have adult...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been follow...

lookingup · lookingup

The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

While search the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses...we have discussed these before and I thought it might be helpful to have them all in one place! That's interesting. Let me think about that. Thank you for the information. Thank you for supporting...

andromeda · andromeda

SO, my bf decided to tell his kids about us breaking up tonight. They are in Portland staying downtown and he had planned a fun night of watching fireworks and hanging out downtown. It sounded fun. Instead he texted me earlier and told me, "Not sure how to tel the girls." I told him I'm sorry and that I...

JerryF · JerryF

I have a strong memory character and much rather have that triggered gently than to find myself in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells and emotions of when I first learned how to inventory the what the when the where and who what was my part in it. I don't have much of a defense against relivin...

Freetime · Freetime

When we come into Al-Anon, we may feel that life has been treating us unfairly and that we deserve better because of what we have been through. This page in Courage to Change suggests that Instead of being angry about what life has given us, it might be better for us to ask what we can give. By reaching out t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello MIP family! I hope everyone who celebrates, had an amazing holiday! I have been sitting with some feelings of resentment, and something just triggered them again. My sponsor told me to write about it, so that I could "release it." So I thought I would write here... I may not be able to release thes...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses detachment. Detachment is suggested as the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love, care about and identify with the feelings of others. The writer suggests that our degree of huma...

JerryF · JerryF

This text emoticon is/was real for me yesterday as We went on the hunt for my youngest son's elderly, deaf, lame pet Beagle named "Poke". My son asked if I could care for her while he and my daughter in law and granddaughters were in Guatemala doing mission work for/with their church. Poke is a jungle d...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I know for some this may be a challenge, but using program tools, we ALL CAN have a great 4th by remembering and practicing the slogan "keep the focus on us" My brother is back on shore, missing, undoubtedly drinking, but you know what?? I will lift him in prayer, do my thing..Today I will play basketball...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello everyone, It's been a while since I've posted on this forum. But I've come back to try to find some positive words. I'm extremely depressed, my AH boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The 1st 2 years of our relationship was a complete sham I found out a few weeks into the relationship he was a b...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I have a problem. Rentals around here are getting expensive. While I make decent money, I don't make that much. Turns out, a lot of places want me to make 3x the rent in salary and that's proving to be hard on one income. I want to get out of here by next Saturday. I just keep praying that I find a way o...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! To those who celebrate American Independence, Happy 4th! I've forgotten my C2C at work, so today's reading is from Today's Hope. The author reflects on step eight and stresses that step 8 is not meant to punish us, but rather to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. The author share...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

I just noticed yesterday (because I am not focusing on my AH) that he isn't wearing his wedding ring band. I asked him and he told me that he lost it working almost 6 months ago and was surprised that I just now noticed. I think i was more upset that he didn't bother to tell me when it first happened. Not so muc...

RLC · RLC

It's the first thing I heard the first night I walked into the rooms of Al-Anon. At the time I didn't have a clue. My focus was all on the alcoholic in my life. The thought of it seemed selfish at the time because I felt it was my responsibily to take care of others, always putting my needs on the back burne...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Our Alanon topics for the morning meeting are Choices and Serenity. TT

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for July3 speaks about the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones. The reading points out that the real differences in how we use them. It is a comforting thought that nobody can put stumbling blocks in our way simply because we are learning how to use them to step...

jamom · jamom

hi everyone, i'm new here but have been dealing with an AH for years now. We have 2 young kids who are in therapy and AH has just returned from his second treatment centre. we've been to 3 marriage counselors and he maintains that he owes me nothing in terms of building trust back or treating me with respe...

ling · ling

AH thinks it's not his fault it's a compulsion and he can't stop. Hes in bed drinking vodka as if there's not going to be a tomorrow. He's says hes not trying to hurt me or him. He doesn't says he cant stop its too difficult. He wont or cant stop? Which is it? A merry go round. He says he cant stop it's a compulsi...

BBDoll · BBDoll

Hello, I am a new member here at this message board. My name is BBDoll and my husband (Scott - not his real name) is an alcoholic. He is currently in rehab for the disease. Today is the 25th day and he is planned to be there for 90 days. I have yet to go to an Al-Anon meeting, but I do have plans to start on Tuesday...

sakina · sakina

It's hard not to take it personal. My AH said some things today that really hurt. The overall message was I'm the reason he uses, he would be clean except for me. I caused his relapse. He told his counselor and she agrees. And my program Al Anon/Nar Anon isn't working for me because AH doesn't see me changi...

andromeda · andromeda

Yesterday my bf caught me in a lie. I told him I was out shopping but I was really at a restaurant having a glass of wine, journaling, and eating a bowl of soup ALONE. I had been pulling away from the relationship all week because I was hurt by a condescending remark he made to me earlier in the week. I had l...

Lyne · Lyne

Changing self-destructive behavior: The writer discusses the way Alanon helps us to identify and change self-destructive behavior, by learning to pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. He recognized that procrastinating was a bad habit which caused him anxiety, and by doing things rig...

mamalioness · mamalioness

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- i apologize that I am without my Hope for Today book, so I am writing about the last paragraph from Just for Today: Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. for...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Distressing situation.....like talking on the phone with your qualifier who is under the influence! Obviously, ending the call is an option. But what I am asking for is help when I do want to talk. I find I can do great when the conversation is in a text. I can stay calm and in control, I can pause before...

lgnutah · lgnutah

We all have to decide what is enabling, what is helping, what matters most to us and how to restore our serenity. I put an Uber app with my credit card # on my qualifiers phone. I pay the bill, no questions asked. I might be saving my qualifiers life, the life of some innocent person, but bottom line it give...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading June 30 Speaks about spirituality and explains that prayer is for us, not for God as God knows what is going on with us The reading suggests that when we pray, we think" I'm going to be helped". The meaning behind our prayers comes from our hearts and not our words The reading points out t...

Lyne · Lyne

I'm really having a struggle and I guess I have slid back a bit. I'm holding onto anger and disappointment towards my A since Monday. I know better and have the tools, but I can't always cope as well as I can or should or could. In our therapy with an addiction counselor we discussed exactly what would h...

Overcome · Overcome

June 30, 2018SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM (starting late today)Topics: Compassion and being stuck in our program.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat clien...

RachelsMom · RachelsMom

Is Al-Anon something that would help me? My daughter is 28 and is homeless. I mean, no friends, no change of clothes, no money, begging for the necessities manipulating people homeless. It KILLS me but is nothing new as she has never had a job for long, jobs are not legit, has a criminal record in 3 states...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I haven't been on here for a long time. I guess it is because most everything is the same as it was the last time I posted.The one exception is that my marriage is improving. I guess we have both been mellowing out as my husband says. He is definitely an alcoholic so he is my qualifier. I know there are people...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The funny thing about natural consequences is I don't have to dictate how this will roll out. Boy is feeling the discomfort of his choices which pretty much sucks to be him at the moment. He burned his nose on the inside from all of the vomiting so he had that smell stay with him .. he also came to the real...

JerryF · JerryF

I had an opportunity to remember tools in my program which really helps still and for which I feel deep gratitude. The one I remembered and reused this afternoon was "What was your part in it"? The first time I was given that it ticked me off because it diffused the blame I was using and then brought it...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 7/12/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...	Iamhere	7	607	Jul 13, 2018 by Tude
	When it's ALL about the A .. (Preview) And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...	SerenityRUS	10	537	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	Alanon and etiquette (Preview) not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM	mamalioness	11	689	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	In hindsight (Preview) The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...	JerryF	10	523	Jul 13, 2018 by JerryF
	I'm New (Preview) So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...	Want to Bloom	2	424	Jul 12, 2018 by starcatcher2
	can't think of a good subject line. (Preview) I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...	a4l	8	631	Jul 12, 2018 by DavidG
	New here (Preview) Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...	Happymoggy	10	821	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	It could be .. (Preview) I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...	SerenityRUS	4	536	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	We need op status for chair people (Preview) I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?	Hesees	6	619	Jul 11, 2018 by hidden_in_plain_sight
	New member needing advice about my husband's drinking (Preview) Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...	sadtimes	12	685	Jul 11, 2018 by Aline
	Just checking in (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...	VickiR	6	461	Jul 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change July 11 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...	Skorpi	6	468	Jul 11, 2018 by Pol
	Courage to make him leave, how to make him stay away (Preview) I have been married for 18 years. My husband is a drinker and a cocaine addict. I finally had courage to make him leave 3 weeks ago. He did have a safe place to stay, but he doesn't anymore. Hes begging me to come home, stating I am making him sleep in the streets. I have 3 teenagers, 2 of which still live...	Almosthip	4	504	Jul 11, 2018 by mamalioness
	Tried to control my boyfriend's drinking, now want to back out? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone has insight. My boyfriend has agreed to not drink around me or on the days he sees me. Sometimes he drinks before seeing me and tries to hide it. I realize that asking him to not drink was kind of ridiculous and never going to work, and now it's causing more insanity than doi...	uhohcheerio	8	577	Jul 10, 2018 by Bo
	Custody issues with XAH (Preview) This past weekend was my ex AHs turn to have our children for the weekend. He also had his older son (10 years). So once the weekend was over and the older son returned to his mother, she contacted me (we have a good relationship) to let me know what her son had told her about his weekend with his dad. He said d...	Jayla	5	514	Jul 10, 2018 by Mattie
	The ex is ratteling to my core (Preview) Last Wednesday, without notice, the ex alcoholic bf send me a text to say he is on his way to my home. I have joint title on the house with him. I was shocked that he drove 14 hours to surprise me without notice that he was coming to the house. I was stunned. I thought he would be her to do the renovations on the h...	joker	6	580	Jul 10, 2018 by Mattie
	ODAT Reading 7-10-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for...	hotrod	6	507	Jul 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Podcasts and YouTube (Preview) As an FYI there are multiple resources to pull from when in crisis .. not only coming here .. there are many support websites where information can be found. YouTube has a show called The Recovery Show and they offer a whole lot of good speakers from Mary Pearl to Eileen C, Larcene, Father Tom, .. so many...	SerenityRUS	9	710	Jul 10, 2018 by Pol
	Lost my serenity (Preview) With all my program tools and other helpers, I can SEE now what happened to me. In a way it's hard for me to accept that I got caught in the former merry-go-round called: I know what's best for my A (to go to AA), and because she won't do it, I gave up my serenity. I have learned that I can practice acceptanc...	Lyne	17	600	Jul 10, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Crying but with gratitude! (Preview) So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy...	andromeda	19	938	Jul 9, 2018 by andromeda
	Checking in (Preview) Hi, MIP! I've been thinking of checking in for a while and here I finally am doing that. Lately I've been more focused on doing the steps (I'm on Step 6) and also f2f meetings. I was at a wonderful ACA summer camp that went for a couple of days, and something opened up in me, I felt and feel it, but I don't know w...	Aline	5	619	Jul 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 7/9 (Preview) Finding Reality: The author says if we don't face the whole picture, if we ignore parts of the truth, and/or if we pretend, we set ourselves up for disappointment and devastation. Living with alcoholics, our sense of reality was always shifting. Our lives stayed unmanageable. By sharing with o...	Lyne	6	603	Jul 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	step 7 (Preview) Since this is the 7th month a few meetings I have attended in the last week have focused on step 7. I went to a wonderful meeting this morning. I wanted to raise my hand and share but chickened out! lol. One thought that struck me and what I took away from the meeting is that our higher power, I choose to call i...	ginnyc	5	626	Jul 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today July 8 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the difference having a program can make in ones life. The writer describes a home life as angry and chaotic. Although the writers mother stopped actively drinking, she also never had a program, so the writer describes learning to enjoy the healthy p...	yanksfan51	6	465	Jul 8, 2018 by DavidG
	Ism Vs Non-Ism (Preview) Hello MIP Family, The 4th has Always been a Big Deal to my Mom's Family, its the One time year, regardless of the day it falls on, We Show Up, Same Time & Place Every Year! My Grandma in Heaven started it 60 years ago, she has now been Gone 30yrs this year and now My Generation Organize it while the El...	Jozie	6	735	Jul 8, 2018 by Tude
	detachment (Preview) Hello question for everyone. I am fairly new to practicing the alanon program. My story is adult child of a alcoholic, very abusive, all that goes with it. I am a adult now. Rather get into all the details basically I have been looking for recovery all my life and alanon is truly the way for me. I have adult...	ginnyc	14	699	Jul 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	The Program is Paying Off at Work (closed) (Preview) Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been follow...	tiredtonite	19	590	Jul 7, 2018 by tiredtonite
	CTC July 7 (Preview) The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensi...	lookingup	3	401	Jul 7, 2018 by Lyne
	FYI - Might Be Helpful.....Neutral Responses for Detaching (Preview) While search the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses...we have discussed these before and I thought it might be helpful to have them all in one place! That's interesting. Let me think about that. Thank you for the information. Thank you for supporting...	Iamhere	8	3349	Jul 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	OMG....he told the kids tonight??? WTF (Preview) SO, my bf decided to tell his kids about us breaking up tonight. They are in Portland staying downtown and he had planned a fun night of watching fireworks and hanging out downtown. It sounded fun. Instead he texted me earlier and told me, "Not sure how to tel the girls." I told him I'm sorry and that I...	andromeda	18	731	Jul 6, 2018 by andromeda
	Now look what you all have done!! Grateful (Preview) I have a strong memory character and much rather have that triggered gently than to find myself in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells and emotions of when I first learned how to inventory the what the when the where and who what was my part in it. I don't have much of a defense against relivin...	JerryF	8	640	Jul 6, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C 7/6 (Preview) When we come into Al-Anon, we may feel that life has been treating us unfairly and that we deserve better because of what we have been through. This page in Courage to Change suggests that Instead of being angry about what life has given us, it might be better for us to ask what we can give. By reaching out t...	Freetime	5	519	Jul 6, 2018 by hotrod
	New Resentments (Preview) Hello MIP family! I hope everyone who celebrates, had an amazing holiday! I have been sitting with some feelings of resentment, and something just triggered them again. My sponsor told me to write about it, so that I could "release it." So I thought I would write here... I may not be able to release thes...	PosiesandPuppies	5	567	Jul 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/5/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses detachment. Detachment is suggested as the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love, care about and identify with the feelings of others. The writer suggests that our degree of huma...	Iamhere	3	408	Jul 5, 2018 by Pol
	HP and I on the hunt. (Preview) This text emoticon is/was real for me yesterday as We went on the hunt for my youngest son's elderly, deaf, lame pet Beagle named "Poke". My son asked if I could care for her while he and my daughter in law and granddaughters were in Guatemala doing mission work for/with their church. Poke is a jungle d...	JerryF	10	434	Jul 5, 2018 by mamalioness
	HAPPY 4th of JULY (Preview) I know for some this may be a challenge, but using program tools, we ALL CAN have a great 4th by remembering and practicing the slogan "keep the focus on us" My brother is back on shore, missing, undoubtedly drinking, but you know what?? I will lift him in prayer, do my thing..Today I will play basketball...	mamalioness	3	367	Jul 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The Ending Has Come (Preview) Hello everyone, It's been a while since I've posted on this forum. But I've come back to try to find some positive words. I'm extremely depressed, my AH boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The 1st 2 years of our relationship was a complete sham I found out a few weeks into the relationship he was a b...	starcatcher2	20	559	Jul 4, 2018 by starcatcher2
	Please Pray: rental I want and God's will (Preview) So, I have a problem. Rentals around here are getting expensive. While I make decent money, I don't make that much. Turns out, a lot of places want me to make 3x the rent in salary and that's proving to be hard on one income. I want to get out of here by next Saturday. I just keep praying that I find a way o...	andromeda	19	576	Jul 4, 2018 by mamalioness
	Today's Hope July 4 (Preview) Hello MIP! To those who celebrate American Independence, Happy 4th! I've forgotten my C2C at work, so today's reading is from Today's Hope. The author reflects on step eight and stresses that step 8 is not meant to punish us, but rather to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. The author share...	Skorpi	4	395	Jul 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	How important is a Ring? (Preview) I just noticed yesterday (because I am not focusing on my AH) that he isn't wearing his wedding ring band. I asked him and he told me that he lost it working almost 6 months ago and was surprised that I just now noticed. I think i was more upset that he didn't bother to tell me when it first happened. Not so muc...	Godsdaughter	7	387	Jul 4, 2018 by Iamhere
	Always Take Care Of Yourself First !! (Preview) It's the first thing I heard the first night I walked into the rooms of Al-Anon. At the time I didn't have a clue. My focus was all on the alcoholic in my life. The thought of it seemed selfish at the time because I felt it was my responsibily to take care of others, always putting my needs on the back burne...	RLC	14	5435	Jul 4, 2018 by KT2015
	July 4th MIP Morning Alanon Meeting - Please Join Us (Preview) Our Alanon topics for the morning meeting are Choices and Serenity. TT	tiredtonite	0	428	Jul 4, 2018 by tiredtonite
	ODAT READING 7-3 (Preview) The ODA T reading for July3 speaks about the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones. The reading points out that the real differences in how we use them. It is a comforting thought that nobody can put stumbling blocks in our way simply because we are learning how to use them to step...	hotrod	6	394	Jul 3, 2018 by Tude
	new here (Preview) hi everyone, i'm new here but have been dealing with an AH for years now. We have 2 young kids who are in therapy and AH has just returned from his second treatment centre. we've been to 3 marriage counselors and he maintains that he owes me nothing in terms of building trust back or treating me with respe...	jamom	9	437	Jul 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	he's just drunk a bottle of vodka in bed (Preview) AH thinks it's not his fault it's a compulsion and he can't stop. Hes in bed drinking vodka as if there's not going to be a tomorrow. He's says hes not trying to hurt me or him. He doesn't says he cant stop its too difficult. He wont or cant stop? Which is it? A merry go round. He says he cant stop it's a compulsi...	ling	11	539	Jul 3, 2018 by serenity47
	Loneliness While AH Is In Rehab (Preview) Hello, I am a new member here at this message board. My name is BBDoll and my husband (Scott - not his real name) is an alcoholic. He is currently in rehab for the disease. Today is the 25th day and he is planned to be there for 90 days. I have yet to go to an Al-Anon meeting, but I do have plans to start on Tuesday...	BBDoll	5	521	Jul 3, 2018 by canadianguy
	Not taking it personal (Preview) It's hard not to take it personal. My AH said some things today that really hurt. The overall message was I'm the reason he uses, he would be clean except for me. I caused his relapse. He told his counselor and she agrees. And my program Al Anon/Nar Anon isn't working for me because AH doesn't see me changi...	sakina	14	838	Jul 2, 2018 by Bo
	I lied. My relationship is in jeopardy (Preview) Yesterday my bf caught me in a lie. I told him I was out shopping but I was really at a restaurant having a glass of wine, journaling, and eating a bowl of soup ALONE. I had been pulling away from the relationship all week because I was hurt by a condescending remark he made to me earlier in the week. I had l...	andromeda	32	831	Jul 2, 2018 by Mattie
	C2C, 7/2 (Preview) Changing self-destructive behavior: The writer discusses the way Alanon helps us to identify and change self-destructive behavior, by learning to pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. He recognized that procrastinating was a bad habit which caused him anxiety, and by doing things rig...	Lyne	5	350	Jul 2, 2018 by Freetime
	A new look at the Serenity prayer---I've had to pray this (Preview)	mamalioness	6	452	Jul 1, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today July 1 (Preview) Good morning everyone- i apologize that I am without my Hope for Today book, so I am writing about the last paragraph from Just for Today: Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. for...	yanksfan51	6	492	Jul 1, 2018 by Tude
	What tools do you use to help yourself keep calm in a distressing situation? (Preview) Distressing situation.....like talking on the phone with your qualifier who is under the influence! Obviously, ending the call is an option. But what I am asking for is help when I do want to talk. I find I can do great when the conversation is in a text. I can stay calm and in control, I can pause before...	lgnutah	7	490	Jul 1, 2018 by sakina
	Ways to help myself, my qualifier and maybe save someone else's life (Preview) We all have to decide what is enabling, what is helping, what matters most to us and how to restore our serenity. I put an Uber app with my credit card # on my qualifiers phone. I pay the bill, no questions asked. I might be saving my qualifiers life, the life of some innocent person, but bottom line it give...	lgnutah	3	2800	Jul 1, 2018 by Conflicted
	CTC June 30 (Preview) The C2C reading June 30 Speaks about spirituality and explains that prayer is for us, not for God as God knows what is going on with us The reading suggests that when we pray, we think" I'm going to be helped". The meaning behind our prayers comes from our hearts and not our words The reading points out t...	lookingup	5	373	Jun 30, 2018 by Pol
	Cant (or won't) let go (Preview) I'm really having a struggle and I guess I have slid back a bit. I'm holding onto anger and disappointment towards my A since Monday. I know better and have the tools, but I can't always cope as well as I can or should or could. In our therapy with an addiction counselor we discussed exactly what would h...	Lyne	11	610	Jun 30, 2018 by Bo
	Starting late this morning.... but we've got a meeting!! (Preview) June 30, 2018SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM (starting late today)Topics: Compassion and being stuck in our program.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat clien...	Overcome	0	335	Jun 30, 2018 by Overcome
	Problem child ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Is Al-Anon something that would help me? My daughter is 28 and is homeless. I mean, no friends, no change of clothes, no money, begging for the necessities manipulating people homeless. It KILLS me but is nothing new as she has never had a job for long, jobs are not legit, has a criminal record in 3 states...	RachelsMom	67	1590	Jun 30, 2018 by RachelsMom
	it has been awhile (Preview) I haven't been on here for a long time. I guess it is because most everything is the same as it was the last time I posted.The one exception is that my marriage is improving. I guess we have both been mellowing out as my husband says. He is definitely an alcoholic so he is my qualifier. I know there are people...	Hoot Nanny	8	1695	Jun 29, 2018 by wp
	Funny thing about natural consequences .. (Preview) The funny thing about natural consequences is I don't have to dictate how this will roll out. Boy is feeling the discomfort of his choices which pretty much sucks to be him at the moment. He burned his nose on the inside from all of the vomiting so he had that smell stay with him .. he also came to the real...	SerenityRUS	9	536	Jun 29, 2018 by Tude
	Tools (Preview) I had an opportunity to remember tools in my program which really helps still and for which I feel deep gratitude. The one I remembered and reused this afternoon was "What was your part in it"? The first time I was given that it ticked me off because it diffused the blame I was using and then brought it...	JerryF	11	516	Jun 29, 2018 by Jozie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.