Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we c...

mamalioness · mamalioness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! To our Betty!!!! To the lady who isn't just a moderator extraordinaire, but a friend indeed..A shining example of the program and what miracles it can bring To somebody who speaks her truth and does it with strength, yet softly To the lady who can make anyone feel better..Want t...

hotrod · hotrod

H4T's today's daily reading speaks about the 3rd and 11th step. It said "learned in my study of Step Three that 'will' referes to our thoughts and feelings and the 'lives' refers to our actions. When I pray in accordance with the Eleventh Step, I am asking to know what thoughts and feelings God wants me t...

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

I am finding myself in a difficult situation and for the first time I am really allowing myself to figure out and speak my own feelings without worry about how he will handle the information. Here is a little backstory (sorry if it is so long). My husband has been abusing alcohol since my twins were bor...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

A couple of days ago my husband & I got into a car accident. It was in a city 60 miles away from home. Anyhow, we didn't get hurt & it wasn't our fault. We were at a gas station, had already got our gas & were pulling out of the parking lot. A guy backed up into us. We don't have a chance t really get ou...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has really been a hell of a two week period around here. I can't put my finger on it. I have sort of been reading boards I plan on listening to podcasts this weekend, I'll be driving 1/2 way to meet my bff and drop youngest off for a week with his friend and then we will be trying to get boy registered for hi...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It's been awhile since I've posted an update about my work situation with my awful supervisor. Another person was added to our dept. and my boss is giving this person some of the work that was meant for me. I have not been there very long and my boss has not taught me all I need to fully perform the job of the p...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I just want to share my personal experience with grief and forgiveness. If you're in pain due to emotional and or physical abandonment, I can relate to those feelings. I can remember having so much resentment toward my alcoholic father for how he treated me and our family. I was the scapegoat in the fam...

Lyne · Lyne

Happiness-The writer reflects upon his choice to be happy. He believes he needs to make a firmer commitment to his decision to be happy, and not abandon his choice when trouble hits. A commitment takes discipline, and it requires breaking old habits like becoming a helpless victim. He points out...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the power, strength and hope of step two, in which we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One of the reasons I love this step so much is the humility that is behind it. There is a hopefulness in it too- that what we are pu...

Lyne · Lyne

In a few minutes , I am leaving for oral surgery. In the past, I would have been a complete basket case. I wouldn't have slept for a week, and I would be sick literally, to face this procedure. I am a little hungry, and I am a little nervous, but this is the calmest I have been in my entire life facing a medic...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64827137/alanon-step-8-7-29-2018/ Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on th...

lookingup · lookingup

,this writer speaks about how a stonecutter strikes a rock 99 times without a crack on the surface,then on the 100th blow the stone splits in two,it wasn't the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before. same is true with alanon recovery,whatever I'm struggling with ,learning to detac...

lookingup · lookingup

Here's my update on my daughter and family, we now can talk on phones everyday without messenger ,where is before only way for us to communicate for 4 yrs while they were stationed with air force in Japan, now daughter and husband ,3 g,sons are stationed in Las Vegas ,Nevada , we can actually talk over p...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

H left early this a.m. for a brunch 1.5 hrs away with son. I found his money clip on kitchen counter. He misplaces keys, glasses, wallet, etc., frequently. I have been Ms. Find It for way too long. His son gave him a set of tags and an app to help him find stuff but he hasn't set it for anything besides keys....

DavidG · DavidG

Ah done it yesterday... at last... I have bin doing Odat and C2C reading here- to get prepared... but I have booked a room- for a monthly meeting... I have done group startin' before... with weekly meetings. Our town had 1000 people when I began Alanon 37 years ago... now it has about 4000. But sitting...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer speaks about hearing, at the end of an Al-Anon meeting, "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" -- and then on the way home, judging all the other drivers on the road and getting angry about how they are driving. It is a reminder of how challenging yet important it is to practice th...

Venus2 · Venus2

I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...

lookingup · lookingup

As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...

JerryF · JerryF

and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...

JerryF · JerryF

Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))

FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic · FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic

My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......

stillgoing · stillgoing

dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...

Lyne · Lyne

Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...

JerryF · JerryF

I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...

JerryF · JerryF

tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...

joker · joker

On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

(Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...

NorthernGal88 · NorthernGal88

Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...

joker · joker

I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...

ginnyc · ginnyc

It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...

lookingup · lookingup

Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...

Freetime · Freetime

This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...

Aloha · Aloha

It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...

serenity47 · serenity47

I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...

andromeda · andromeda

After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting.

The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...

ling · ling

AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...

alis · alis

HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...

Bogie18 · Bogie18

Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...

New Member Hello · amsorann

Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...

Lyne · Lyne

Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change August 1 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we c...	Skorpi	4	2451	Aug 1, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Happy birthday to Betty (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! To our Betty!!!! To the lady who isn't just a moderator extraordinaire, but a friend indeed..A shining example of the program and what miracles it can bring To somebody who speaks her truth and does it with strength, yet softly To the lady who can make anyone feel better..Want t...	mamalioness	17	768	Aug 1, 2018 by hotrod
	HFT 7-31 (Preview) H4T's today's daily reading speaks about the 3rd and 11th step. It said "learned in my study of Step Three that 'will' referes to our thoughts and feelings and the 'lives' refers to our actions. When I pray in accordance with the Eleventh Step, I am asking to know what thoughts and feelings God wants me t...	hotrod	3	923	Jul 31, 2018 by Iamhere
	How to move on from a difficult situtaion (Preview) I am finding myself in a difficult situation and for the first time I am really allowing myself to figure out and speak my own feelings without worry about how he will handle the information. Here is a little backstory (sorry if it is so long). My husband has been abusing alcohol since my twins were bor...	hopefulmom1	6	1048	Jul 31, 2018 by joker
	got in a minor car accident... (Preview) A couple of days ago my husband & I got into a car accident. It was in a city 60 miles away from home. Anyhow, we didn't get hurt & it wasn't our fault. We were at a gas station, had already got our gas & were pulling out of the parking lot. A guy backed up into us. We don't have a chance t really get ou...	Hoot Nanny	7	1961	Jul 31, 2018 by hotrod
	Rough two weeks (Preview) It has really been a hell of a two week period around here. I can't put my finger on it. I have sort of been reading boards I plan on listening to podcasts this weekend, I'll be driving 1/2 way to meet my bff and drop youngest off for a week with his friend and then we will be trying to get boy registered for hi...	SerenityRUS	11	2652	Jul 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Continuing to take care of myself at work (closed) (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted an update about my work situation with my awful supervisor. Another person was added to our dept. and my boss is giving this person some of the work that was meant for me. I have not been there very long and my boss has not taught me all I need to fully perform the job of the p...	tiredtonite	18	2716	Jul 30, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Forgiving My Father (Preview) I just want to share my personal experience with grief and forgiveness. If you're in pain due to emotional and or physical abandonment, I can relate to those feelings. I can remember having so much resentment toward my alcoholic father for how he treated me and our family. I was the scapegoat in the fam...	tiredtonite	7	846	Jul 30, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	C2C, 7/30 (Preview) Happiness-The writer reflects upon his choice to be happy. He believes he needs to make a firmer commitment to his decision to be happy, and not abandon his choice when trouble hits. A commitment takes discipline, and it requires breaking old habits like becoming a helpless victim. He points out...	Lyne	4	1909	Jul 30, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope For Today July 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the power, strength and hope of step two, in which we came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. One of the reasons I love this step so much is the humility that is behind it. There is a hopefulness in it too- that what we are pu...	yanksfan51	4	431	Jul 29, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Oral surgery (Preview) In a few minutes , I am leaving for oral surgery. In the past, I would have been a complete basket case. I wouldn't have slept for a week, and I would be sick literally, to face this procedure. I am a little hungry, and I am a little nervous, but this is the calmest I have been in my entire life facing a medic...	Lyne	12	1149	Jul 29, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Step 8 (Preview) Step 8 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64827137/alanon-step-8-7-29-2018/ Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on th...	hotrod	0	627	Jul 29, 2018 by hotrod
	CTC 7/28 (Preview) ,this writer speaks about how a stonecutter strikes a rock 99 times without a crack on the surface,then on the 100th blow the stone splits in two,it wasn't the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before. same is true with alanon recovery,whatever I'm struggling with ,learning to detac...	lookingup	7	987	Jul 28, 2018 by Aline
	Daughter and family (Preview) Here's my update on my daughter and family, we now can talk on phones everyday without messenger ,where is before only way for us to communicate for 4 yrs while they were stationed with air force in Japan, now daughter and husband ,3 g,sons are stationed in Las Vegas ,Nevada , we can actually talk over p...	lookingup	6	2538	Jul 28, 2018 by DavidG
	Golden rule vs enabling/rescuing (Preview) H left early this a.m. for a brunch 1.5 hrs away with son. I found his money clip on kitchen counter. He misplaces keys, glasses, wallet, etc., frequently. I have been Ms. Find It for way too long. His son gave him a set of tags and an app to help him find stuff but he hasn't set it for anything besides keys....	Mcat54	14	3756	Jul 27, 2018 by Bo
	Step 12... (Preview) Ah done it yesterday... at last... I have bin doing Odat and C2C reading here- to get prepared... but I have booked a room- for a monthly meeting... I have done group startin' before... with weekly meetings. Our town had 1000 people when I began Alanon 37 years ago... now it has about 4000. But sitting...	DavidG	11	1096	Jul 27, 2018 by DavidG
	C2C - 7/27 (Preview) The writer speaks about hearing, at the end of an Al-Anon meeting, "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" -- and then on the way home, judging all the other drivers on the road and getting angry about how they are driving. It is a reminder of how challenging yet important it is to practice th...	Freetime	3	2172	Jul 27, 2018 by Iamhere
	How to save a 30 year marriage (Preview) I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....	Venus2	8	1769	Jul 27, 2018 by Doingmybest
	Well.....there's fear....and that's fun (Preview) Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...	andromeda	17	2927	Jul 27, 2018 by mamalioness
	Update ,apt. (Preview) As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...	lookingup	11	1069	Jul 26, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change 7/26/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...	Iamhere	4	2060	Jul 26, 2018 by Freetime
	Had my own concerns... (Preview) and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...	JerryF	17	760	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	family (Preview) Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...	ginnyc	3	1051	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	Kinda sorta like a burp!! (Preview) Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))	JerryF	9	1493	Jul 25, 2018 by KennyFenderjazz
	My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. (Preview) My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...	FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic	25	3208	Jul 25, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change July 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...	Skorpi	4	2547	Jul 25, 2018 by Freetime
	ODAT reading 7-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...	hotrod	7	1104	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	Just because "it" is back, I don't want to be back with it. (Preview) Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......	Tude	6	1379	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	So many emotions...lost dont know what to do (Preview) dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...	stillgoing	6	1090	Jul 24, 2018 by Bo
	C2C, 7/23 (Preview) Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...	Lyne	7	2835	Jul 23, 2018 by Aline
	Inventoring very profitable for me. (Preview) I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...	JerryF	6	2803	Jul 22, 2018 by JerryF
	CTC. July 21 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...	lookingup	8	824	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Place me where you want me (Preview) tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...	JerryF	13	612	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	Hope for Today July 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...	yanksfan51	6	823	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Anger directed toward me (Preview) On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...	joker	6	1079	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hard Lessons (Preview) (Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...	Paloma Negra	5	839	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	New here... Need some advice, can't reach out to friends or family (Preview) Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...	NorthernGal88	8	1098	Jul 22, 2018 by Fedora
	Critical comments (Preview) I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...	joker	8	686	Jul 21, 2018 by Mattie
	what now? (Preview) It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...	ginnyc	12	676	Jul 21, 2018 by Aloha
	Apartment (Preview) Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...	lookingup	13	694	Jul 21, 2018 by hotrod
	One day at a time... (Preview) Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....	DavidG	6	568	Jul 21, 2018 by ginnyc
	Hi (Preview) I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...	Surfergirl	18	781	Jul 20, 2018 by Surfergirl
	ODAAT 7/20 (Preview) This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...	Freetime	4	569	Jul 20, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/19/18 (Preview) Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...	Iamhere	5	871	Jul 20, 2018 by sakina
	Still here! (Preview) It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...	Aloha	10	610	Jul 20, 2018 by Aloha
	Baby steps/being ok even whn others are not/progress (Preview) I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...	serenity47	6	581	Jul 20, 2018 by Bo
	He was going to PROPOSE?? (Preview) After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...	andromeda	20	1126	Jul 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Enventory of ourselves (Preview) I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...	lookingup	6	643	Jul 19, 2018 by lookingup
	Courage to Change July 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting. The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....	Skorpi	7	911	Jul 18, 2018 by JerryF
	Custody Question! (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...	VickiR	3	583	Jul 18, 2018 by oceanpine
	would u have him back? (Preview) AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!	ling	11	852	Jul 18, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Here (Preview) Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...	hopefulmom1	7	952	Jul 18, 2018 by hopefulmom1
	Angry and Afraid (Preview) So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...	PosiesandPuppies	19	953	Jul 17, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C 7-17-2018 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...	hotrod	8	674	Jul 17, 2018 by Tude
	Need some ESH and virtual hugs please (Preview) Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...	Bettertomorrow	13	848	Jul 17, 2018 by joker
	Breaking up (Preview) HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...	alis	13	768	Jul 17, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Struggling with the guilt of needing time away - feedback requested - any POV (Preview) Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...	Bogie18	10	704	Jul 17, 2018 by milkwood
	enjoying my summer! (Preview) These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...	Hoot Nanny	4	523	Jul 16, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Member Hello (Preview) Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...	amsorann	9	684	Jul 16, 2018 by Jen61
	C2C, 7/16 (Preview) Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...	Lyne	7	751	Jul 16, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.