Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Venus2 · Venus2

I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...

lookingup · lookingup

As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...

JerryF · JerryF

and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...

JerryF · JerryF

Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))

FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic · FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic

My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......

stillgoing · stillgoing

dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...

Lyne · Lyne

Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...

JerryF · JerryF

I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...

JerryF · JerryF

tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...

joker · joker

On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

(Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...

NorthernGal88 · NorthernGal88

Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...

joker · joker

I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...

ginnyc · ginnyc

It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...

lookingup · lookingup

Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...

Freetime · Freetime

This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...

Aloha · Aloha

It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...

serenity47 · serenity47

I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...

andromeda · andromeda

After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting.

The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...

ling · ling

AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...

alis · alis

HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...

Bogie18 · Bogie18

Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...

New Member Hello · amsorann

Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...

Lyne · Lyne

Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...

mamalioness · mamalioness

TODAY, I am grateful for: I am living in more faith (in me and HP within) and less fear, thanks to program and step 3 My younger daughters toe is healing and she may not lose the entire nail As far as I know, older daughter is still sober I got another vintage piece of furniture at my favorite thrift shop for...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step 8, when we make a list of people we have harmed and are willing to make amends. The writer shares that at a sponsors suggestion, he/she made this list in column form, with the 3rd column describing the harmful act. As is described, being specif...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 14 speaks about the burden of guilt and how making amends offers-a great release from it. The reading suggests that we often do not like facing the harm that we have done in the past and so, without knowing it.,we carry the goats with us. By having the courage to look at the past, o...

Pol · Pol

A few years ago I decided that I was going to love on with my life and my little family. I stopped contact with my family I grew up with because my parents are alcoholics and in turn my siblings turned into alcoholics(i went the other way and got depression). The damaged that this has caused means everyone...

Freetime · Freetime

Happy Friday the 13th everyone! Some believe this is an unlucky day, but to me it is a lucky day because... well, I only have to live this one day today, and I feel very blessed. In today's ODAAT page, the writer expresses gratitude for being led to Al-Anon and receiving the sharing and comfort of others...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM

JerryF · JerryF

The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...

Want to Bloom · Want to Bloom

So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...

a4l · a4l

I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...

Happymoggy · Happymoggy

Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...

Hesees · Hesees

I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?

sadtimes · sadtimes

Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to save a 30 year marriage (Preview) I am new to this forum but not new to Alanon. I have lived with my spouse of almost 30 years. He has been secretive and verbally abusive. I know how the disease works on family and the dysfunction that comes with it. He has had an affair with a young mistress and he cannot seem to let go of her..another story....	Venus2	8	1627	Jul 27, 2018 by Doingmybest
	Well.....there's fear....and that's fun (Preview) Hi everyone Quick update on me. I have been having mild panic attacks about my finances. I am pretty much in the hole every month financially right now but that's because my bonuses don't get paid until end of year and I haven't been working overtime since I had to move, etc. In all honesty, I don't mak...	andromeda	17	2732	Jul 27, 2018 by mamalioness
	Update ,apt. (Preview) As some of you know I've been apt/ duplex hunting, i did go meet with the lady on the 1st duplexes ,wasnt what I wanted after all way to isolated,and distance to get anywhere. i checked that off my list, moving forward as fas I can ,I started out at 8 am looking,after a tiredsome day and 10 hrs later I did fin...	lookingup	11	1013	Jul 26, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change 7/26/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading is about "Letting Go and Letting God". The author talks about learning to identify illusions that make life unmanageable. An example provided is the author wanted to stop controlling people and situations. The more effort applied, the more frustration that came. Another...	Iamhere	4	1897	Jul 26, 2018 by Freetime
	Had my own concerns... (Preview) and so I suggested to my grandson that he could sit with me for an hour and "just listen" while a meeting was attended by about 40 recovering alcoholic friends and family..just listen. He came a bit delayed with my eldest son, his father and so 3 generations sat quietly and listened. I only know what I h...	JerryF	17	701	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	family (Preview) Hi everyone. As I stated before, product of alcoholic family. I find it so hard to cope with immediate family. For me its brothers and a sister. I just want to avoid any contact with them and so on. I don't know if this is realistic for me or not. Avoidance is something I have used my whole life, rather than c...	ginnyc	3	992	Jul 25, 2018 by JerryF
	Kinda sorta like a burp!! (Preview) Sitting here reading posts with GeeGee in my lap when a large, soft, smooth "BURP" earthquake sent GeeGee off and running and me wondering "Was that me or ???" Only one and I am still reading...((((hugs))))	JerryF	9	1427	Jul 25, 2018 by KennyFenderjazz
	My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. (Preview) My active-alcoholic H expects me to cover for him. He insists that Im being disloyal if I allow negative consequences to occur. i have to admit, though, I will do what I can to stop him from driving while intoxicated simply to protect INNOCENT people on the road. However, for example, when he's drunk a...	FrustratedWifeofAlcoholic	25	3048	Jul 25, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change July 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's Courage to Change is about the slogan "Say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean" The author shares that they built up quite a bit of anger, resentment, and guilt after years of letting people take advantage of them. The author denied their own feelings, saying "yes" whe...	Skorpi	4	2348	Jul 25, 2018 by Freetime
	ODAT reading 7-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 24 speaks about entering an alanon meeting for the first time The reading points out that we are often confused, and feel as if we are drowning in a sea of troubleThe reading suggest that members offer a warm welcome and be grateful for this newer member as they will a...	hotrod	7	1053	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	Just because "it" is back, I don't want to be back with it. (Preview) Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......	Tude	6	1303	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	So many emotions...lost dont know what to do (Preview) dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...	stillgoing	6	1008	Jul 24, 2018 by Bo
	C2C, 7/23 (Preview) Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...	Lyne	7	2628	Jul 23, 2018 by Aline
	Inventoring very profitable for me. (Preview) I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...	JerryF	6	2576	Jul 22, 2018 by JerryF
	CTC. July 21 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...	lookingup	8	765	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Place me where you want me (Preview) tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...	JerryF	13	547	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	Hope for Today July 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...	yanksfan51	6	766	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Anger directed toward me (Preview) On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...	joker	6	1023	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hard Lessons (Preview) (Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...	Paloma Negra	5	777	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	New here... Need some advice, can't reach out to friends or family (Preview) Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...	NorthernGal88	8	1029	Jul 22, 2018 by Fedora
	Critical comments (Preview) I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...	joker	8	632	Jul 21, 2018 by Mattie
	what now? (Preview) It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...	ginnyc	12	618	Jul 21, 2018 by Aloha
	Apartment (Preview) Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...	lookingup	13	623	Jul 21, 2018 by hotrod
	One day at a time... (Preview) Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....	DavidG	6	499	Jul 21, 2018 by ginnyc
	Hi (Preview) I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...	Surfergirl	18	722	Jul 20, 2018 by Surfergirl
	ODAAT 7/20 (Preview) This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...	Freetime	4	505	Jul 20, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/19/18 (Preview) Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...	Iamhere	5	771	Jul 20, 2018 by sakina
	Still here! (Preview) It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...	Aloha	10	557	Jul 20, 2018 by Aloha
	Baby steps/being ok even whn others are not/progress (Preview) I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...	serenity47	6	516	Jul 20, 2018 by Bo
	He was going to PROPOSE?? (Preview) After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...	andromeda	20	1057	Jul 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Enventory of ourselves (Preview) I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...	lookingup	6	571	Jul 19, 2018 by lookingup
	Courage to Change July 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting. The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....	Skorpi	7	833	Jul 18, 2018 by JerryF
	Custody Question! (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...	VickiR	3	518	Jul 18, 2018 by oceanpine
	would u have him back? (Preview) AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!	ling	11	787	Jul 18, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Here (Preview) Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...	hopefulmom1	7	877	Jul 18, 2018 by hopefulmom1
	Angry and Afraid (Preview) So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...	PosiesandPuppies	19	884	Jul 17, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C 7-17-2018 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...	hotrod	8	609	Jul 17, 2018 by Tude
	Need some ESH and virtual hugs please (Preview) Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...	Bettertomorrow	13	776	Jul 17, 2018 by joker
	Breaking up (Preview) HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...	alis	13	693	Jul 17, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Struggling with the guilt of needing time away - feedback requested - any POV (Preview) Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...	Bogie18	10	639	Jul 17, 2018 by milkwood
	enjoying my summer! (Preview) These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...	Hoot Nanny	4	464	Jul 16, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Member Hello (Preview) Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...	amsorann	9	621	Jul 16, 2018 by Jen61
	C2C, 7/16 (Preview) Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...	Lyne	7	670	Jul 16, 2018 by Iamhere
	what am I grateful for today?? (Preview) TODAY, I am grateful for: I am living in more faith (in me and HP within) and less fear, thanks to program and step 3 My younger daughters toe is healing and she may not lose the entire nail As far as I know, older daughter is still sober I got another vintage piece of furniture at my favorite thrift shop for...	mamalioness	10	749	Jul 16, 2018 by RachelsMom
	Hope for Today July 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step 8, when we make a list of people we have harmed and are willing to make amends. The writer shares that at a sponsors suggestion, he/she made this list in column form, with the 3rd column describing the harmful act. As is described, being specif...	yanksfan51	3	586	Jul 15, 2018 by DavidG
	CTC,,,,July 14 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 14 speaks about the burden of guilt and how making amends offers-a great release from it. The reading suggests that we often do not like facing the harm that we have done in the past and so, without knowing it.,we carry the goats with us. By having the courage to look at the past, o...	lookingup	4	577	Jul 14, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	constantly trying to keep in contact ðŸ˜¡ (Preview) A few years ago I decided that I was going to love on with my life and my little family. I stopped contact with my family I grew up with because my parents are alcoholics and in turn my siblings turned into alcoholics(i went the other way and got depression). The damaged that this has caused means everyone...	Pol	5	560	Jul 14, 2018 by Pol
	ODAAT - July 13 (Preview) Happy Friday the 13th everyone! Some believe this is an unlucky day, but to me it is a lucky day because... well, I only have to live this one day today, and I feel very blessed. In today's ODAAT page, the writer expresses gratitude for being led to Al-Anon and receiving the sharing and comfort of others...	Freetime	4	640	Jul 13, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/12/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...	Iamhere	7	763	Jul 13, 2018 by Tude
	When it's ALL about the A .. (Preview) And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...	SerenityRUS	10	685	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	Alanon and etiquette (Preview) not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM	mamalioness	11	806	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	In hindsight (Preview) The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...	JerryF	10	670	Jul 13, 2018 by JerryF
	I'm New (Preview) So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...	Want to Bloom	2	565	Jul 12, 2018 by starcatcher2
	can't think of a good subject line. (Preview) I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...	a4l	8	817	Jul 12, 2018 by DavidG
	New here (Preview) Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...	Happymoggy	10	982	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	It could be .. (Preview) I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...	SerenityRUS	4	694	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	We need op status for chair people (Preview) I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?	Hesees	6	771	Jul 11, 2018 by hidden_in_plain_sight
	New member needing advice about my husband's drinking (Preview) Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...	sadtimes	12	858	Jul 11, 2018 by Aline
	Just checking in (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...	VickiR	6	631	Jul 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change July 11 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...	Skorpi	6	695	Jul 11, 2018 by Pol
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.