The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.
The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for Today, bookmark and see the that Abraham Lincoln said; "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Nobody's life is all dark so that if we can take the time to look for the better and happier things in our life it often helps to make the clouds disappear.
"Dwelling on our troubles only makes them hurt more I will just make myself look at the cheerful side."
Great suggestions Daily, I try to see the beauty in the world and to let go of my anger and disappointment Thanks to alanon , I now have the tools to do so.
Thank you, Hotrod, for posting this. In my very short period of earnest work in recovery, I have found that my changing my outlook and attitude toward my AH and being a kinder, gentler me has resulted in him also being kinder and gentler. The concept is almost too simple to actually work, but it does and I am very, very grateful for the peace we have had in our house this week. It's seems like a miracle. :)
Thank you Betty! The daily made me smile. I see a bit of progress. I woke up grumpy inside thinking of the mountain to tackle after a physical therapy setback. Somewhere between wobbling out of the bedroom to the coffee pot, I realized my attitude was not my friend and not good for me. To just put one foot in front of the other the best I can just for this morning. Put some good music on and move. I am learning that action reduces stress so I tackle the things that are causing the most stress first these days as much as possible. It's amazing when all those little things that nag are done, how much weight it takes off the mind, mood and ............when I place this daily into the days' I cannot move, or rather "heating pad days" it really is getting easier. Those days I fill up with reading, listening to audio teachings etc. This in itself leaves more of "me" to love, give and just "be" with the AH, AF and others in my life.
Good morning, MIP! Betty, that you for your service.
I really like the idea that I can be as happy or upset as I decide to be. Letting go of the things that I cannot control is an important part of me deciding to be happy, to look for the positive, and focus my attention and energy where there is opportunity for joy.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Betty for your service, and to those who posted above for their ESH!
This ODAT spoke volumes to me today!! I have had a set back that really made me angry, feeling hopeless, and just plain ol' pissed off at my HP!!
I had signed up for the National Board Exam in my field over two weeks ago, and this past Saturday was the big day! I was spending every single night up late studying, b/c I wanted to feel confident that I would pass and get my National Certificate. I mean almost everything was put on hold - I declined friend's invitations etc - It's a big deal in my field... the one in which I just spent 6 months in school for (while moving out, setting up a hew household, graduating a kid, and working on the divorce papers). I was prepared on Saturday and confident! I printed out my confirmation (mainly to get directions, as it was kind of far away and in a city I don't know) and lo and behold, the date said Thursday July 5th!! I was shocked and beside myself!! I tried calling the testing center, but they said they show that I was a "no-show" to the test and my substantial fee would be forfeited and I would need to repay and reschedule!! I tried to explain that I signed up online and would never choose a Thursday b/c I work M-F and Saturday's are my only possible day to test... that there was a computer error made, not an error by me, but they wouldn't hear of it. I hung up and cried for hours! Really. My tenuous faith in my HP was seriously SHOOK!
I ended up being in a depressed funk (not thinking clearly etc) all day Saturday, and an angry mess on Sunday. I mean, I was livid at my HP for putting up this roadblock! Doesn't she know I am trying to make a new life for myself? Doesn't she know I can't afford another fee? Doesn't she know that I am clinging onto getting this certification like my life depends on it? Doesn't she realize that all the good paying jobs in the field are now requesting this certificate along with the CA State Board certificate? I spent most of the weekend on these boards, calling my sponsor etc. trying to find some serenity. Of course my sponsor pointed out that I didn't look at the confirmation. In reality I did look at at, but only cursory, b/c I figured a computer wouldn't make a mistake, so I didn't examine the date, just the time and the location (which were correct)... but she did help me to see my part in all this... I didn't look closely at the date the computer spit out (and computers CAN make mistakes), and I am CHOOSING to sit in my despair.
Reading the ODAT today helped me to see that I can sit and wallow and be miserable, or I can look for any positive. If there isn't one single positive, then I can just pull up my "bid girls" and move forward!
The point being is that it is MY choice, not my HP's choice. Back to step one in building my faith in my HP.
Thank you, MIP for helping me get through this miserable weekend, allowing me a place to post & vent, and for keeping me centered!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Today's passage really spoke to me and I'm kinda sad I did not read it earlier in the week but maybe it was meant for today. I had a long weekend with my husband and his birthday. We went to go spend the night with his parents and his father was an alcoholic etc. I'm still not comfortable with being around drinking as I don't anymore and I've started this program. I'm having a really hard time with step one and I haven't finished my worksheet so I think today or this evening will be a good place to start. I talked to my husband(he's a recovered alcoholic) and he said that he wishes to be sober from here on out as he wants to start working out because of his "dad bod" lmao. No but realistically we all forget to be grateful for what we have in the moment and just think of the good things when there really isn't and it's hard to change our perspective but like the book says its just up to us to make up our minds to be. :)
Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. When I went to Al-Anon, and others told me I could chose to wallow or chose to be happy, it irritated me greatly. Of course, in my crazy mind, I really thought that nobody had it as bad as I did and therefore - if they were walking a mile in my shoes, they'd be irritable, sad, etc. too!!
Of course, I did open my ears and shut my mouth. I practiced listening to others and looking for similarities. I began to trust others, HP and the program. I practiced what was suggested and what is said above is now true - I get to decide what kind of day I will have and when it goes left or right of center, I can also start it over when I want/need to.
I'm so grateful we look to progress in recovery one day at a time. I am also glad I set aside the 'perfection is best' motto a long while ago - it never served me well...just caused more anxiety and stress that was self-created. I do believe I can make up my mind to be at peace today and that's what I prefer. (((Hugs))) to all - golfed this morning and it was hot....hot.....hot!! Glad to be inside and chilling and my back is objective a bit yet less than last week when I tried! Make it a great day all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
