The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODA T reading for July3 speaks about the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones. The reading points out that the real differences in how we use them. It is a comforting thought that nobody can put stumbling blocks in our way simply because we are learning how to use them to step up so we can progress in a upward manner, The reading points out that there is no discounting the problems caused by alcoholism as they can be terrifying. We can refuse to let them block our actions and we can imagine that by using one of the 12 steps obstacles can be converted into wisdom and courage Al-Anon invites us to take the action to change our view of ourselves and the world.
The quote is from Tennyson, "men may rise on steppingstones oi their dead selves to higher things."
Good morning MIP! Betty, thank you for your service today.
I can forget, when things are stressful and hard, that I can decide to make a change, change my approach, change my location, change my actions. I can feel as though I am powerless and that the things that are happening are totally out of my control. Usually when I feel that way, it is because I want someone else to do something, I am not letting them be who they are, and I am not seeing myself as a person who can make decisions.
I like this reading. It reminds me how much choice I have in my life and in my interpretation of things. A stumbling block is only a stumbling block if that's what I think it is. I could decide that it is something else. a stepping stone, or maybe a nice foundation stone that I will use to build something new in my life.
I hope you make today a great day everyone!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I like the thought that we can use one of the 12 Steps on the obstacle so that it can be converted to wisdom and courage!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Betty! I got up too busy, spent some time in material, felt good, then tried getting busy again. I chopped a 4X4 area of weeds. Got ticked again (back issues and knee) and got on here. I like the part on the reminder for the day: "Obstacles cannot keep me from finding the good in my life and following where it leads. Nothing can get in the way of this, unless I allow it."
I had to get real about my emotions again today. AH came home lit, talking of how overwhelmed he is etc. I listened. It did bite me in the rear though as I press forward with these very real back issues. I live each year for Summer (that is not living in today). I battle seasonal depression. This injury happened at the end of Spring....I am watching the time of year I live for pass so very fast. (resentment) I do not like the state I live in (that's putting it mildly). (resentment)It has 2 months a year that I consider "summer." As I see the weeds taking over outside, the pasture needs mowed, the everything needs done in this time slot that normal people do year round.(fear)....I felt fear over how fast the Summer was leaving. (fear) And........there is more to do than I can handle this time. (resentment and fear) Usually I take care of it all. (fear) I do have my AF friend helping when she's not at work. That's a blessing! Gratitude.
Now to deal with the why I am dreading the looming cold weather, the inability to do things myself like I'm used to, and absolutely not living in today. No one can get in the way of this unless I allow it. Just for this minute, this hour, I will not project and get into fear, I will use what I have learned as a stepping stone. I can't control my AH's drinking or the effects of it but really, I can even use that as a stepping stone. To rise above with my HP, get off my pity pot and have a life of my own. Separate from all that goes with the emotions of his drinking and tackle one thing at a time.
Had to put that out there to get it out, look at it and get my thoughts and emotions back under hope vs fear.
Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thank you all for the shares above me. We have a bit of drama and chaos around here and I am doing what I can to change that which I can. I do believe that each event and person that comes into my life is for a reason, even when I don't like it. I too am battling back issues, and my house and garden areas look like a tornado has happened and yet, I am focused on self-care because when I overdo it, my back lets me know.
One thing that helps me often/always is this too shall pass. I also absolutely live by the Pause, Pray, Proceed principles especially when I am not feeling well. I am way more likely to return to self-pity and the victim mode if/when I am in pain or under the weather. I've even decided, with a nudge from my sponsor, that my back issues and other are possibly messages from HP that I need to slow my roll a bit.
I am also one that loves to start my day when I need to. What I love about recovery is we do have so many tools that we can reach for to regroup, restart, rethink, etc. I also can still fall into a bit of fairy-tale thinking - wanting every day to be full of roses, serenity, love and the reality is we have good/bad moments for a reason - to live, experience, learn and love unconditionally.
I played golf for the first time today in almost a week and it did not go well and my back did not appreciate it. I am back to no golf until .... (we shall see). I was greatly humbled and had to work my backside off to remain friendly, positive and supportive of others as it's 100 degrees and I couldn't hit a ball straight to save my soul.....grateful to be home and to have tried - focusing on self-care again as it seems to be the lesson from above. Make it a great day MIP!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for the shares! Prayers for your back too IAH. My noggin settled back down and it was really a great day. I tackled the things I was capable of doing that cause the most stress, had my music on and then out the door to try the riding mower. Honestly I did practice self care. I put a pillow on the seat and instead of doing a few acres, I did a small area the size of a large yard. Tomorrow will let me know if that was ok. Today though....it's all just ok. One thing this program has really helped me in (out of too many to count) is in "changing my mind." Not sure how to word it but instead of waiting on the next day to be better, I realize now I can start the day over any time if I just do the work.
PS that drama really does come for a reason from what I have experienced. And NO I didn't like some of them. Somewhere there's a word for it......the AF friend is doing watchnights and goes to do AA service at the jail tomorrow night. Just wow!! That never would have happened had my HP not led me back into this program! You're all just awesome!!!
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