LINKS

Al-Anon Group Home Page
Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room
Site Technical Problems or Questions?
Step Work Board - A Step every month!
Online Meeting Schedules


Al-Anon Family Group
Message Board

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"Real" Al-Anon Meeting Directory


A new step every month in the order they were written!


Al-Anon's 12 Steps & 12 Traditions

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Just checking in


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 71
Date:
Just checking in


Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escalated with each passing day as he becomes more and more desperate and hostile that I wonât take him back. Basically long strings of texts and hostile calls - I think he believed I would take him back (he is NOT in recovery at all and worse than ever) My lawyer made it so that our house funds will not be released until we have a signed separation agreement - my ex has known this for months but has put off his tiny part in the process - finishing his financial disclosure. Basically today with a bank error his paperwork will be delayed again, and his air bnb is only paid up until the day after our home closes. He called me tonight screaming that I would have to separate the funds from an agreement (no chance in hell, because he will never sign it/pay me what he owes me) - I immediately blocked his number and emailed him to say he would have to go through my lawyer until the end of this process. He is really trying to scare me about custody stuff and saying he will take me to court. I know things are pretty safe for me - he doesnât have our daughter overnights and hasnât for years and he doesnât even have a stable place to live, and is majorly in debt. I am just feeling exposed and threatened I gusss. Anyway - no real point to this other than to vent, I know I just need to keep calm and focus on myself, and not stress about the future if I can help it. Sometimes it feels like I will never be free of him and his relentless domineering personality - but I feel great having blocked his calls/texts. Thanks for all your stories on here - itâs endlessly helpful and you are all inspiring.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 16568
Date:

((Vicki)) thanks for the positive update

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 282
Date:

 

 

Good having you check in V and it sounds like you are being pretty rational.  Must be hanging with sponsor and HP eh?  My divorce started off rough also and then with practice of our program it came out somewhat okay.  resentments for me are optional anyway...I don't like them at all so I don't collect any.   LOL  Keep coming back ((((Hugs)))) wink



__________________
Jerry F
Bo


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 996
Date:

VickiR wrote:

Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escalated with each passing day as he becomes more and more desperate and hostile that I wonât take him back. Basically long strings of texts and hostile calls - I think he believed I would take him back (he is NOT in recovery at all and worse than ever) My lawyer made it so that our house funds will not be released until we have a signed separation agreement - my ex has known this for months but has put off his tiny part in the process - finishing his financial disclosure. Basically today with a bank error his paperwork will be delayed again, and his air bnb is only paid up until the day after our home closes. He called me tonight screaming that I would have to separate the funds from an agreement (no chance in hell, because he will never sign it/pay me what he owes me) - I immediately blocked his number and emailed him to say he would have to go through my lawyer until the end of this process. He is really trying to scare me about custody stuff and saying he will take me to court. I know things are pretty safe for me - he doesnât have our daughter overnights and hasnât for years and he doesnât even have a stable place to live, and is majorly in debt. I am just feeling exposed and threatened I gusss. Anyway - no real point to this other than to vent, I know I just need to keep calm and focus on myself, and not stress about the future if I can help it. Sometimes it feels like I will never be free of him and his relentless domineering personality - but I feel great having blocked his calls/texts. Thanks for all your stories on here - itâs endlessly helpful and you are all inspiring.


 

Vicki, you are making all the right moves and doing all the right things. Letting your attorney handle it will protect you, and will allow you space and distance from dealing with the drama, chaos, turmoil, and havoc -- regardless of what it is, who caused it, etc. This also protects your daughter. You are in a good spot, and it sounds like you in are in a good place! If you keep doing what you are supposed to YOU WILL BE free of him, completely! Isn't it empowering to block someone's calls/texts? Especially when you know it is the healthy thing to do, the best thing to do, to protect yourself, etc.

Thanks for the update!!! Keep it up!!!



__________________

Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 9189
Date:

Vicki - great to see you stop by and moving forward. I am sending you tons of positive thoughts and prayers for a timely outcome. Recovery looks really good on you - keep doing it ... one day at a time! (((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 672
Date:

Hi, Vicki, good to hear you are doing well, on the whole. I have gone no contact with my ex-abf too for the last couple of months as I also could not handle the communication. Wish you well, take care.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3221
Date:

Vicki,

Big hugs I am soooo sorry this is spiraling the way it is and kudo's to your attorney for making things be final the way they are .. that's such a smart move because the financials in a divorce I don't care what country you are in will drag on forever even if the divorce is finalized.

This too shall pass. You are doing great even if it doesn't feel that way. I know it is difficult to move through some of the ick it's kind of like getting slimed daily. I was thinking about that the other day after dealing with my X who just won't go away.

Hugs S :)

__________________

"I cannot learn other people's lessons for them.  They must do the work for themselves, and they will do it when they are ready." - Louise Hay

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.